Well
I only have a few minutes to be here during my lunch, and I can't go through 150 comments, so sorry beck, but I just want to say hello and see how you're doing.

And well, one question, one of my cousins has been going out with a guy for 3 months now, and they haven't had sex because he can't get hard. He's always got excuses, like I'm tired and that, but she thinks he is a virgin (25 years old). What would you recommend her to do?
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Fri 20 Aug 2010, 12:04, 100 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

See a doctor
If a 25 year old can't get it up (virgin or not) there's something wrong with him.

Unless your cousin's really ugly!
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 20 Aug 2010, 12:05, Reply)

She's quite sexy, I tell you
He doesn't want to talk about it and she doesn't know how to tell him to go to the doctor. I think she should ask him if he can get it hard on his own, but he doesn't like talking about these things. She thinks he's just very stressed and shy.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Fri 20 Aug 2010, 12:07, Reply)

Likely he is stressed and shy
And talking about it will make it worse. He should see a doctor about it though, for advice rather than drugs.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 20 Aug 2010, 12:09, Reply)

Yep
But he doesn't want to go to the doctor. He doesn't want to admit that he's got a problem. I think she should put some viagra on her drink and go for it. Just the first time.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Fri 20 Aug 2010, 12:11, Reply)

That could work
Get him a little tipsy, a raging stonk-on, and then break him in!
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 20 Aug 2010, 12:12, Reply)

Yep
But I don't think she should mix viagra and alcohol. I think once he's done it the first time he'll be fine. And he'll have a lot of accumulated energy to burn!
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Fri 20 Aug 2010, 12:13, Reply)

I honestly don't know where you'd get the viagra though
Or is it available over the counter in Spain?
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 20 Aug 2010, 12:16, Reply)

It is
Isn't it in here? You need to see a doctor to get it? She could just get it online, couldn't she?
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Fri 20 Aug 2010, 12:17, Reply)

Like I said, I have no idea
And I wouldn't trust any website selling legal drugs, least of all viagra!
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 20 Aug 2010, 12:19, Reply)

I can't believe you're saying she should give him perscription drugs against his will.
That's illegal.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 20 Aug 2010, 12:21, Reply)

He must have nads like a pair of hairy saddlebags.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 20 Aug 2010, 12:17, Reply)

I haven't asked for the detailes
Urgh
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Fri 20 Aug 2010, 12:18, Reply)

They probably clack together
like two bowling-balls when he walks.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 20 Aug 2010, 12:19, Reply)

Castanets are more Spanish

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 20 Aug 2010, 12:21, Reply)

True, but they are too small for my comedic purposes here.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 20 Aug 2010, 12:21, Reply)

codemedic?
"Base, we have a code 88, I repeat a code 88, we're gonna need the testicular drains on standby for when we arrive."
Edit: You ninja editing son-of-a-gun.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 20 Aug 2010, 12:23, Reply)

Pics and we'll decide.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 20 Aug 2010, 12:09, Reply)

Do you think I'm silly or what?

(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Fri 20 Aug 2010, 12:11, Reply)

You don't want me to answer that do you?

(PsychoChomp, Fri 20 Aug 2010, 12:11, Reply)

You wouldn't hurt my feelings
you're too nice for that.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Fri 20 Aug 2010, 12:12, Reply)

kitty
quick, there's a job for you here ^^^^
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 20 Aug 2010, 12:13, Reply)

Here I come to save the day!

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 20 Aug 2010, 12:20, Reply)

but you haven't destroyed the
"psychochomp is a nice guy really" genuine error here. quick!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 20 Aug 2010, 12:24, Reply)

sorry
Aberracion, are you on crack?! This is PC we're talking about here. Let me find some links to back up my point.

Here we go:
b3ta.com/questions/professions/post737613
b3ta.com/questions/breasts/post717378
b3ta.com/questions/buzzwords/post690005
b3ta.com/questions/letterstheywillneverread/post656366
b3ta.com/questions/ginger/post648673
b3ta.com/questions/flirting/post642291
this one is directly mean to Rachel as well: b3ta.com/questions/flirting/post641366
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 20 Aug 2010, 12:28, Reply)

I'll bookmark this and come back next week when you've managed to find a link

(PsychoChomp, Fri 20 Aug 2010, 12:32, Reply)

In your face.

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 20 Aug 2010, 12:33, Reply)

Oi! I said IN YOUR FACE

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 20 Aug 2010, 12:38, Reply)

Those links just make me realise how funny I actually am.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 20 Aug 2010, 12:46, Reply)

It reminded me how much of a dick Lizard King is

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 20 Aug 2010, 12:48, Reply)

some of them did amuse me quite a lot

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 20 Aug 2010, 12:56, Reply)

I think the ugly and annoying one is the best of that lot.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 20 Aug 2010, 12:59, Reply)

To be fair
The girl's not that bad, but not as hot as she imagines herself to be.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 20 Aug 2010, 13:00, Reply)

my favourite was the one pretending to be sympathetic
by pointing out that the words on a screen actually mean something. I bet you made her cry a bit.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 20 Aug 2010, 13:09, Reply)

But he says I'm of the nice ones
I'll have a look at the links and tell you what I think.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Fri 20 Aug 2010, 12:41, Reply)

WELL DONE YOU
well linked
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 20 Aug 2010, 13:27, Reply)

Discuss it on the internet.
Any issues he has are bound to vanish with us talking about it.

I wonder if he'd rather his Doris was a Dave though?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 20 Aug 2010, 12:07, Reply)

Probably a virgin and probably scared
I'd suggest a psychoanalyst over a doctor.
( Kroney, Fri 20 Aug 2010, 12:07, Reply)

She should tell everyone that knows him all about it.
On 'Facebook' or something.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 20 Aug 2010, 12:08, Reply)

Ha, definatly this.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 20 Aug 2010, 12:10, Reply)

I agree with this

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 20 Aug 2010, 12:10, Reply)

Yeah, she could do that
and then break up with him by text. Or in Facebook as well.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Fri 20 Aug 2010, 12:10, Reply)

Perhaps he's gay
Or perhaps she isn't trying hard enough.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Fri 20 Aug 2010, 12:11, Reply)

Oh, he's 25 years old
you don't need to try hard with 25 years olds.

I wouldn't be surprissed if he said he's gay, though.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Fri 20 Aug 2010, 12:12, Reply)

Your cousin is disastrously ugly and he's too polite to say anything.

(Spleep Shit, or get off the internet., Fri 20 Aug 2010, 12:13, Reply)

Would it stop you?
Everybody is beautiful with the lights down and nearly two drinks inside them.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Fri 20 Aug 2010, 12:18, Reply)

viagara
problem solved.

about 15 times a night, in fact.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 20 Aug 2010, 12:13, Reply)

Or use two lollypop sticks as cock-splints?

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 20 Aug 2010, 12:14, Reply)

:D

(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Fri 20 Aug 2010, 12:16, Reply)

Even better
Giving him a blowjob would taste of the lollypops!
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 20 Aug 2010, 12:19, Reply)

Oh, my!
And I thought bj couldn't be improved!
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Fri 20 Aug 2010, 12:24, Reply)

I think you're right
She's scared of using it without telling him...
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Fri 20 Aug 2010, 12:14, Reply)

she should bite the bullet and suggest it
if he flounces, he is gay or impotent and she is better off without him. if he is nervous, once the viagara has cured it, he won't need it again. if he has a problem, the viagara will be enough of a short-term cure to see if the sex is worth sticking around for.

or something less heartless.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 20 Aug 2010, 12:25, Reply)

She should wait until he's asleep
and then write "Soft Cock" on his forehead (or whatever it is in Spanish, El Softo Cockio)

It wont help, but I think she should do it anyway.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Fri 20 Aug 2010, 12:13, Reply)

now colonel
a soggy cock is not a thing to mock
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 20 Aug 2010, 12:14, Reply)

I really should start my own therapy group
i'll call it "Get confident LOSER"
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Fri 20 Aug 2010, 12:17, Reply)

Haha
"polla floja" better, but not a bad idea, no :)

I'll tell her in case she decides to break up with him.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Fri 20 Aug 2010, 12:15, Reply)

"Polla Floja"
*adds to list of foriegn insults*
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Fri 20 Aug 2010, 12:18, Reply)

I like Polla Boba
Silly Willy
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Fri 20 Aug 2010, 12:19, Reply)

Awww, that's quite sweet
but not harsh enough for that bloke, we need to push him to the edge, "Kill or cure" as we say in England*


*we don't say it very much
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Fri 20 Aug 2010, 12:22, Reply)

Maybe
he IS getting hard, but he's hung like a baby mouse so she can't tell.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 20 Aug 2010, 12:15, Reply)

Maybe he's secretly got AIDS

(PsychoChomp, Fri 20 Aug 2010, 12:16, Reply)

Maybe he's a she
with AIDS.
(Spleep Shit, or get off the internet., Fri 20 Aug 2010, 12:18, Reply)

Maybe only 5-year-olds 'do it' for him.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 20 Aug 2010, 12:18, Reply)

Maybe his spunk is radioactive?

(PsychoChomp, Fri 20 Aug 2010, 12:23, Reply)

Your point being!?
*folds arms across chest*
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Fri 20 Aug 2010, 12:23, Reply)

awww baby mouse
cutez
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 20 Aug 2010, 12:21, Reply)

...sleeping in his little hairy nest. Ahhhhhhh.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 20 Aug 2010, 12:22, Reply)

you seem very familiar with that scenario

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 20 Aug 2010, 12:25, Reply)

I can see straight into your bathroom from mine...

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 20 Aug 2010, 12:28, Reply)

I do have a rodent problem in the bathroom it's true

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 20 Aug 2010, 12:29, Reply)

...the poor-selling followup to 'Rat in Mi Kitchen'

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 20 Aug 2010, 12:32, Reply)

Pffft!

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 20 Aug 2010, 12:33, Reply)

A bit of reverse psychology
He could imagine he is having a wank while he is rutting ber.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Fri 20 Aug 2010, 12:24, Reply)

Dump him

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 20 Aug 2010, 12:25, Reply)

Dump ON him.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 20 Aug 2010, 12:29, Reply)

She should get his flies down
whip out his flaccid cock, and start sucking it.

If it doesn't go hard at that point, it's never going to work.

If it does work however, she's likely to choke as it'll be like a fireman's hose when it erupts.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 20 Aug 2010, 12:26, Reply)

If I were in her shoes
...ooh, nice heels... Then I'd politely walk away. Badgering him about it will only make things worse. Unless he's got a thing for badgers.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 20 Aug 2010, 12:26, Reply)

Badgering would work
Because eventually - "Ooh, it's a snake!"
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 20 Aug 2010, 12:28, Reply)

hahahahaha

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 20 Aug 2010, 12:29, Reply)

Haha
Nice work.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 20 Aug 2010, 12:30, Reply)

It could be that he has deep physiological problems, like issues with abuse in some form or another.
God, I'm so tempted to walk out, I've had at least 10 calls where people act like it's a fucking effort to tell me their address and name, and when I ask for their number, they speak it so fast that there is no way I can remember it, I feel like saying "OK, remember this number [my number spoke really fast], now read that back to me".

And the bloke at work says he is going to docett me my hourly wage for being 5 minutes late, he says you should be docetted £1/min for being late. so if I'm 10 minutes late, _I_ would be paying _them_ my hourly wage. I laughed and he said "Do you think I'm not being serious?". He tried to do that last year, but didn't pull off. so I said 'no', and he said "you'll see".

I'm interested to see what'll happen, he ain't a manager or anything. If they do, I'll bring down every single computer in the office, permantly.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 20 Aug 2010, 12:30, Reply)

go and ask that bird out, stop hanging out at Procrastination Station.

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 20 Aug 2010, 12:35, Reply)

How? In reality, I can't just walk out, as much as I want too.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 20 Aug 2010, 12:37, Reply)

Go during your lunch break.

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Fri 20 Aug 2010, 12:40, Reply)

I don't get one.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 20 Aug 2010, 12:42, Reply)

Sounds like someone needs a hug

(Bret Mong Keys Eggs has wet his weapon, Fri 20 Aug 2010, 12:43, Reply)

Don't keep putting it off Gonz.
You know you want to do it. Perhaps arrange some extra special sushi for after you have spoken to her. That way you will get cheered up even if she gives you a fat lip.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Fri 20 Aug 2010, 13:02, Reply)

I'm honestly not putting it off =(
I have to ask her while she's at work, as that is the only way of doing it, and during this time, I haven't had a spare hour once in two weeks.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 20 Aug 2010, 13:20, Reply)

Sorry, I meant today
not immediately.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 20 Aug 2010, 12:58, Reply)

I have a client who talks like that on the phone, at first I thought she was rude
but when I met her it turned out she was a nervous mouse of a woman.

I'm not sure where i'm going with this.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Fri 20 Aug 2010, 12:35, Reply)

She should offer him her arse.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Fri 20 Aug 2010, 12:31, Reply)

I'd tell her to fuck him
and go out with me instead
(Bret Mong Keys Eggs has wet his weapon, Fri 20 Aug 2010, 12:31, Reply)

Is he called Chris?

( Peej, Fri 20 Aug 2010, 12:34, Reply)

Nope
That's not a very Spanish name...
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Fri 20 Aug 2010, 12:40, Reply)

so it's El Chris then?

(Bret Mong Keys Eggs has wet his weapon, Fri 20 Aug 2010, 12:42, Reply)

Christopher Columbus was Spanish
Ok he was actually called Cristóbal Colón but I still think Chris can be very Spanish. Christophe? Plus you didn't say which nationality the boyfriend was so you lose on all counts, now fetch me a sandwich.
( Peej, Fri 20 Aug 2010, 12:46, Reply)

Tell her to be careful
if she does make it work and get her to give him some handjobs first. If she goes for full sex the first time I dread to think what the back-pressure's like. She'll be flung across the room like a cork on a bottle of spunky champagne.
( Kroney, Fri 20 Aug 2010, 12:40, Reply)

How's the new job going Aber?
Spike him with viagra if she can be bothered, if not just dump him.
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 20 Aug 2010, 12:43, Reply)

Finger up the arse and some deep throat
He'll be squirting the fuck juice in no time
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Fri 20 Aug 2010, 12:49, Reply)

O_o
how delightfully graphic.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 20 Aug 2010, 12:58, Reply)