Every cloud
My train to Newcastle is beyond packed. I've never experienced anything like it and am sitting cross legged in the aisle bit. I wanted to twat someone in the head but now there are five fit blondes sitting crossed legged around me also. One is reading Harry Potter I think so she could be about thirteen but I'll put that to the back of my mind. At least I have them to talk to (and stare at their tits) now. One of them is called Susie and she is very pleasant (and has big tits), I'm rather enjoying this.

Any silver linings from shit situations for anyone recently?
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Fri 20 Aug 2010, 15:23, 24 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I was momentarily lamenting the lack of paedophiles on here
Then you popped up!
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 20 Aug 2010, 15:29, Reply)

Trying to drum up business, eh?

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Fri 20 Aug 2010, 15:30, Reply)

Things are a bit slow here

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 20 Aug 2010, 15:31, Reply)

no clouds just lining
Just come back from a do for some students that finished a course. When they started, I don't think many had any certificates in anything. I have a warm glow of pride *beams*
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 20 Aug 2010, 15:33, Reply)

My toilet cycle at work seems to have become synchronised with one of my colleagues
I don't know him that well and it's phenomenally awkward to continually meet him in the bogs.

On the upside, the route back to our desks takes us past the office eye candy and she's so busy avoiding his lecherous gaze that she doesn't notice mine. Also, have spent the last half an hour listening to Combichrist, which has nothing to do with any of the above but makes me happy.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 20 Aug 2010, 15:35, Reply)

piss on him
that'll put him off. Hopefully.
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 20 Aug 2010, 15:36, Reply)

*sigh*
and it's phenomenally awkward to continually meet which means I get to have filthy, semi-anonymous bumsex with
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Fri 20 Aug 2010, 15:40, Reply)

Like all men with your presciption
I knew you wouldn't be able to resist
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 20 Aug 2010, 15:49, Reply)

At least he's using the lavatory for its intended purpose.
Maybe you could try and surrepticiously change your 'manpons' at your desk instead?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 20 Aug 2010, 15:53, Reply)

This deserves a lot of credit

(Bazongaloid, Fri 20 Aug 2010, 15:54, Reply)

not least for referring to it correctly as the lavatory

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 20 Aug 2010, 15:55, Reply)

'Manpons' is my favourite bit
Credit indeed, Mr Boyce
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 20 Aug 2010, 15:57, Reply)

he doesn't want your credit
you anus-leech
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 20 Aug 2010, 15:58, Reply)

This also made me smile

(Bazongaloid, Fri 20 Aug 2010, 15:58, Reply)

Fuck you chinflange
Don't throw your toys out of the pram just cos it wasn't your anus I was tonguing
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 20 Aug 2010, 16:02, Reply)

There have been some excellent insults on here today

(Bazongaloid, Fri 20 Aug 2010, 16:03, Reply)

What else is B3ta for, really?
"Chinflange" is probably my favourite term for anyone with a beard. Masks my jealousy as my own attempts at sprouting hair on my lower face are fucking rubbish
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 20 Aug 2010, 16:09, Reply)

I was cycling past some kids the other day and one of them said
"why is your nose so important it is underlined?"

I chuckled to myself over the originality of it, until a few minutes later it occurred to me that I'd heard exactly the same thing from some kid at exactly the same place more than 2 years earlier....
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 20 Aug 2010, 16:12, Reply)

as if I would want your disease-ridden tongue anywhere near me
I note you don't deny slurping on man-rectum though, mainly because you are the Arch-Bender
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 20 Aug 2010, 16:11, Reply)

Yes, I am the Arch-Bender
I'm so unbelievably mascualine and powerful that councils hire me to take sections of masonry that they'd like to be more curved. I bend them into arches

See what I did there
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 20 Aug 2010, 16:25, Reply)

I do see what you did there
I'm going to award you a slight nod of the head with accompanying minor narrowing of the eyes
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 20 Aug 2010, 16:26, Reply)

I see what you did there
..spelt masculine wrong
or mescaline I suppose
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 20 Aug 2010, 16:28, Reply)

Oooh yes please.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 20 Aug 2010, 17:20, Reply)

Just a shit situation unfortunately
the past couple of times at the gym when I've "pushed" myself, I've suddenly got quite a nasty headache. Googling "headache during exercise" turns up the exertion headache, which suggests that either I've just been overdoing it a bit or I'm about to die of an aneurysm. I'm going to just do jogging and other low-impact stuff for a week or so, see if that fixes it.

There's also the related "coital cephalgia", which suggests laying off that for a week or so too.

Sad times.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 20 Aug 2010, 16:42, Reply)