Calm down dear, it's only a dollop on the side of the plate.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 13:24, 2 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

nothing wrong with mayo
don't be ashamed Monty
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 13:25, Reply)

There's plenty wrong with low fat mayo though
the fucking gay.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 13:26, Reply)

100% right.
Low fat mayo does not work - same with low fat crisps.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 13:28, Reply)

I stole it from a girl who works for me.
I couldn't really tell the difference if I'm honest, though.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 13:32, Reply)

I'm not ashamed.
If I'd have confessed to eating salad cream, THEN I'd have been ashamed, and rightly so - although I have to say a 20% salad cream to 80% mayo mix for potato salad is nice. But for no sensible reason I like to put chives AND spring onions in my potato salads so perhaps I am an over-elaborate knobend.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 13:27, Reply)

And
hard boiled eggs. It's champion.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 13:28, Reply)

Pickled eggs works even better.

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 13:30, Reply)

Are you northern?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 13:32, Reply)

How fucking dare you.

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 13:36, Reply)

Did that disc play OK?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 13:39, Reply)

what an odd comeback

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 13:46, Reply)

I'm like freeform Jazz.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 13:49, Reply)

So how is the kid?
Edit - see?
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 13:50, Reply)

Fucking brilliant, thank you.

*beeboobleparpledoo-doo-doo-squeak*
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 14:05, Reply)

Scat is called scat because it is shit.

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 14:21, Reply)

I ended up a bit 'distorted*' and didn't get to play it.
Will give it a shot tomorrow.

*We ended up playing cover versions of shit songs in a Jesus and Mary Chain style. Either our vesion of Olivia Newton John's "Hopelessly Devoted to You" was an act of feral genius or the DMT has played havoc with my memory.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 13:48, Reply)

God I love DMT.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 13:50, Reply)

Good stuff too
3 hours of fun, fun, fun!
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 13:54, Reply)

I am only one link away from a chemist who actually makes it.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 14:01, Reply)

Don't tell me the link is Psycho-Bitch?

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 14:21, Reply)

I'll try that.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 13:32, Reply)

And add chopped olives and sprinkle with cayenne pepper.

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 13:37, Reply)

Alright calm down Heston.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 13:39, Reply)

He's another one for my 'hope he gets run over by a bus ' list.
Bald shit-bag.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 13:42, Reply)

He has redefined smug for the next generation.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 13:43, Reply)

He will redefine 'facial injuires' if I see the shine-headed bastard.

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 13:50, Reply)

I think he's cool
and I want bacon ice cream
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 13:52, Reply)

He's innovative
.....but a total penis.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 14:02, Reply)

he is a cock
but I find the way he works fascinating.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 14:06, Reply)

I want to eat there
but it might not be worth it since there is so much I can't eat
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 14:09, Reply)

I do.
And I'd like to try his food (my brother-in-law's best man is an employee and close friend of his, so I'm hoping some kind of angle can be worked here) - but his celebrity meal series made me want to eat my own eyeballs*.


*probably on the Fat Duck menu already
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 14:09, Reply)

celebrity meal series?
the heston's [insert shitty theme here] feast stuff?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 14:12, Reply)

That's the one.
The 70s one particularly grated.

Every ten seconds:

'I really like to explore my crazy fun side so I...blah blah blah'
'I really wanted to capture my wacky, experimental character, so I...' etc etc

The culinary equivalent of the 'you don't have to be be mad to work here...' sign. Fucking turd.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 14:17, Reply)

there were some awesome bits of cooking wizardry during that series
but I agree, the whole was terribly contrived and geared up to provide him with a back-patting exercise.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 14:21, Reply)

I've got a thing against savoury white creamy things
like mayo, salad cream, cream cheese, white sauce.

It gives me the willies.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 13:32, Reply)

you've got that the wrong way round ;)

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 13:33, Reply)

Better, and faster than mine.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 13:34, Reply)

Her penis is?
I wouldn't have said faster was better...
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 13:35, Reply)

it's like a piledriver

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 13:37, Reply)

"Ooh, you're shuddering, does that mean you're coming?"
"No-oooo-ooo-ooo, c-ccc-cann you-uu-u-u ad-dd-just-ttt- th-th-the power-rr sett-ii-ngs on-nnn th-this-ss th-thi-ngg-g?"
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 13:39, Reply)

sorry dear
I appear to have pushed you off the bed
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 13:45, Reply)

It's when 'the willies'
start to give you unsavoury white creamy things that you have to get yourself seen by a clinic, pronto.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 13:33, Reply)

-bokes a bit-

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 13:36, Reply)