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(I helped save b3ta! rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Morning girls. Who's going to Hull?
I went to the Mardi Gras this weekend, there were the usual "Christian" demonstrators with megaphones and signs. Anyway, one sign gave a list of those Hullbound.
Fornicators, drunkards, sodomites, homosexuals, gangster rappers, immodest women, immoral movie watchers, Darwinists, feminists, atheists, abortionists, Socialist pot smokers, dirty dancers, gamblers, masturbators, racists, Cameron, Clegg, Labour voters, abusers, adulterers, evolutionists, Liberals, terrorists, and prosperity preachers. Whatever the fuck the last one is.
So how many boxes can you tick? I make it 10 1/2.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Wed 1 Sep 2010, 9:50, 219 replies, latest was 15 years ago)
I met a mental while waiting for the bus.
He told me Milton Keynes was a city of sin on a par with Sodom and Gomorrah and would fall under the fury of God.
I've never been prouder of my town.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 9:53, Reply)
I don't think he is that far off

(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 9:54, Reply)
Did you ask him what he was doing there, given his beliefs?

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 9:59, Reply)
He was waiting to be sodomised.
Obviously.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Wed 1 Sep 2010, 10:06, Reply)
He was trying to save us all.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 10:08, Reply)
That's just given me a new-found respect for the place...

(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 11:00, Reply)
16
Woo!
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 9:57, Reply)
If they had frock wearers up there,
you'd have clocked a bonus point.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Wed 1 Sep 2010, 10:02, Reply)
Nice one Cameron
you homosexual sodomite
(I helped save b3ta! Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 10:11, Reply)
I have sodomised others, not the other way round
And calling me Cameron is just cruel!
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 10:21, Reply)
It was a toss up between calling you Cameron or Clegg
Which is a bit like deciding whether to call you a "Cunt" or a "Pointless Cunt"

(not that I consider you to be either)
(I helped save b3ta! Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 10:28, Reply)
I'll let you off then
While Clegg may have sold his soul, I still prefer him to that smarmy cunt Cameron
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 10:31, Reply)
I reckon I could probably lay claim to 13 or so

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 9:57, Reply)
are socialist and pot smoker two seperate ones?
or are only socialist pot smokers going to hell?

perhaps if you bogart the joint then you don't go to hell. That might explain the behaviour of some of my mates...

edit: on recount, probably 16
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 10:07, Reply)
This is my half point.
I smoke pot, but ain't a Socialist. Then again, their grammar wasn't the best, so they may well have omitted a comma.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Wed 1 Sep 2010, 10:08, Reply)
I figure they probably did
let's face it, they aren't only going to condemn socialist pot smokers are they?

I notice that they are condemning supporters of all 3 main parties to hell. Who do you reckon we should be voting for to save our immortal souls?
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 10:13, Reply)
I'd say the BNP
but they don't like racists. Probaly the Green party
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 10:14, Reply)
I'd vote for the S Club Party if I were given the choice.

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 10:17, Reply)
I bet you would
it would satisfy your inner urge for co-ordinated dance routines
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 10:21, Reply)
ain't no party like an S Club party

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 10:28, Reply)
Also
isn't evolutionist and Darwinist sort of double counting? And abuser is kind of vague, could be abusing hospitality.
(Zoz prayed for twink on, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 10:14, Reply)
or on the subject of repetition
self-abuser
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 10:15, Reply)
it's a catch-all
any kind of abuse.

drug, self, hospitality, child. All damned.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 10:17, Reply)
Bigotry isn't an exact science.

(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Wed 1 Sep 2010, 10:19, Reply)
on a recount apparantly 13/14
if I count not being Cameron but of his party
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 9:58, Reply)
and since I'm a prosperity preacher
14/15
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 10:05, Reply)
What the fuck is one of those>
Hello, anyway. When did you say you got back to Blighty?
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 10:05, Reply)
I reckon it's a person
who thinks that money is an important part of life and that one of our aims should be monetary.

If I exclude it I'm still pretty awful :D

I was hoping to be back by now, but sadly my accommodation fell through, I still have no money so can't privately rent etc. So probs 1st October
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 10:08, Reply)
Ah I see. I'm bad too though, remember ;)
Oh man- that's not good :( I think we've already got someone crashing at ours at the moment, otherwise I'd be all on that shit.
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 10:10, Reply)
Being bad is better
in order to make some butter batter.

Haha it's alright. I'll survive. My red dressing gown helps
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 10:12, Reply)
I wanted you to come to the Carnage that would be Candybox
Seriously, that place does bad things to me. But yeah, keep me posted on any Oxford bashinanigans, though what with R__ being in london it'll be odd to go there...
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 10:14, Reply)
It sounds as though it will indeed be Carnage
I miss being drunk. Not really many opportunities to be drunk here. Though having made my mint vodka, and my limoncello type vodka I may just guzzle them all before leaving since I can't bring it back with me
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 10:19, Reply)
I new I should have stuck with Gangsta Rap at school
what a shame.
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 10:00, Reply)
Going on the technical definition of a sodomite, 15 and a half
or possibly 16 and a half, if I admit to waiting around for my rap career to take off.
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 10:00, Reply)
have you got a rapper name?>

(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 10:06, Reply)
My sister's friends call me Dozza K
And I am known by my J-Lo name of KayHey.


edit: unintentional rap!
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 10:07, Reply)

Damn girl you got it going on.

edit - to be read in best gangsta voice
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 10:09, Reply)
-finger clicks-

(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 10:10, Reply)
What's half a sodomite?
Confused.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Wed 1 Sep 2010, 10:15, Reply)
Oh no, I'm a full sodomite
as that's "anything that isn't vaginal intercourse".

I'm half something else.
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 10:27, Reply)
" I'm a full sodomite."
Your parents will be so proud.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Wed 1 Sep 2010, 10:29, Reply)
I'm guessing half an atheist
or half a terrorist
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 10:29, Reply)
Out of that list, atheist probably best describes my views
and no to terrorism.
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 10:33, Reply)
I think I've got 11
I am Cameron AICMFP.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 10:01, Reply)
what does AICMFP
mean?
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 10:05, Reply)
and i claim my five pounds

(I helped save b3ta! lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 10:07, Reply)

and what does that mean?
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 10:08, Reply)
It's like the quiz things they sometimes put on local commercial radio stations
If you see a particular car or local celeb then you're supposed to approach them and say - You are Barry Bethel and I claim my five pounds!
and then Barry Bethel gives you five pounds.
See?
(I helped save b3ta! chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 10:12, Reply)

cool, cheers. I think that's the last acronym I was unsure of. I am nearly a complete B3tan.
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 10:14, Reply)
you know what RIS is right?

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 10:15, Reply)

Stop it!
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 10:16, Reply)

www.b3ta.com/board/4890991
(PsychoChomp, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 10:36, Reply)
it's a meme
based (I think) on the old women's magazines letter pages where they used to pay £5 for each winning guess on a particular subject.
(I helped save b3ta! lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 10:13, Reply)
I think I can tick 14
And I don't gamble!
(I helped save b3ta! chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 10:01, Reply)
Actually make that 14.5 as I once - and only once - voted labour

(I helped save b3ta! chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 10:03, Reply)
That's a 15 as far
as the Old Testament goes. No forgiveness!
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 10:15, Reply)
Oh bugger
Then put me down for 16 as I have told Englishman, Irishman and Scotsman jokes in the past too - so I'm clearly racist.
(I helped save b3ta! chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 10:19, Reply)
Seems a bit unfair
Who hasn't done a bit of gangster rapping in their time? It aint nuthin but a G-thing bay-be...
(I helped save b3ta! Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 10:03, Reply)
G's up! Ho's Down!

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 10:04, Reply)
Mutha fucka.
Life ain't nuthin' but bitches and money.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Wed 1 Sep 2010, 10:05, Reply)
fo' sho'

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 10:07, Reply)
Bitches ain't shit but hos and tricks

(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 10:08, Reply)
ain't nuthin but a G thang

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 10:09, Reply)

tha stri
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 10:11, Reply)
Bitches aint shit but ho's and tricks
Or so I have been reliably informed

Edit - Made me look like an arse there, dint ya Lampito
(I helped save b3ta! Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 10:09, Reply)
Don't worry, Vipros is copying you

(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 10:11, Reply)
am I?
how so?
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 10:14, Reply)
CD had already done "ain't nothing but a G thing"
I'm sorry.
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 10:15, Reply)
oh yeah
totally overlooked that
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 10:15, Reply)
I think I can find it in my heart to forgive you

(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 10:17, Reply)
I'm touched

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 10:18, Reply)
you are from the West Country
no surprise there
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 10:19, Reply)
See below

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 10:21, Reply)
you live there now
that's enough to base an ill-formed judgement on
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 10:23, Reply)

The West Country is ace. Anywhere I am is instantly bathed in awesomeness.
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 10:25, Reply)
Well, generally everyone is around me
it's just whether it's punching or molestation
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 10:22, Reply)
either way
everyone's a winner
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 10:27, Reply)
I hear you may be attending October.
Beware.
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 10:28, Reply)
shhh
or his missus won't let him attend
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 10:30, Reply)
Oh no, I'm not threatening him. Just tat I'm a general allround nightmare.

(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 10:31, Reply)
it's a pain, as we have so little free cash at the moment
we've got to try and fit as much stuff in as possible for jaunts like that. So it depends on whether I can see my bro and niece that weekend as well.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 10:32, Reply)
Well, hope you can make it, looks like it'll be a fantastic occasion

(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 10:33, Reply)
it really does
I'll do my best. There are a lot of people there who I would like to meet.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 10:36, Reply)
why will your missus not come
and meet some internet weirdos?
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 10:41, Reply)
she's kind of shy (not cripplingly so by any means)
and takes her a while to open up around new people, particularly large groups, and I suspect particularly ones that will seem horribly cliquey like us lot would.

Which would mean she got bored and probably grumpy :-)
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 10:43, Reply)
that's fair enough :)
a pity, but fair. She seemed v nice when I met her
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 10:45, Reply)
she is very nice :-)
and as there was just one of you, she was more than happy to meet you.

Can understand where she is coming from though, and a few years ago I probably would have been the same were the positions reversed.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 10:49, Reply)
You're just too polite to say
I scared her aren't you haha?

I do get where she's coming from. I was quite worried before my first bash, and certainly v nervous
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 10:51, Reply)
haha, not at all.
you were worried and you had at least talked to some of the people there :-)
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 10:53, Reply)

shy (not cripplingly so by any means)
and takes her a while to open up around new people, particularly large groups, and I suspect particularly ones that will seem horribly cliquey like us lot would.

Which would mean she got bored and probably grumpy :-)
Imaginary
(PsychoChomp, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 10:46, Reply)
It's westcountry telepathy

(I helped save b3ta! Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 10:15, Reply)
Something in the genes that gets passed around, obviously

(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 10:16, Reply)
I'm from Buckinghamshire

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 10:18, Reply)
Regardless
the mob has decided that you guzzle scrumpy and so guzzle scrumpy you shall.

Moi 'andsome.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 10:20, Reply)
well, Oi do be gurtly a-thirsted
*guzzles*
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 10:22, Reply)
That last line produced a raspy phlegmy chuckle
well done
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 10:22, Reply)
14

(I helped save b3ta! lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 10:07, Reply)
I got 10!!
I'm not sure whether I should be excited though...
(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 1 Sep 2010, 10:09, Reply)
you're young
give it time ;-)
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 10:10, Reply)
well before I was a b3tan it would have only been about 2 or 3, really, when I think on it.
You've all corrupted me...
(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 1 Sep 2010, 10:12, Reply)
goooood

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 10:14, Reply)
Said in a Mr Burns voice
In fact, I was watching The Simpsons last night and had a flash of recognition - Chompy is Wayland Smithers.
(I helped save b3ta! chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 10:22, Reply)

^well done madam
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 10:26, Reply)
that was the voice I imagined it in :-)
and that is very astute. Who is his Mr Burns?
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 10:27, Reply)
That's a tricky one....
Who is very, very old, very thin, evil and owns a nuclear power plant?

Apart from the nuclear thing it would be Peter Stringfellow.
(I helped save b3ta! chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 10:39, Reply)
this made me laugh waaaaay too much!

(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 1 Sep 2010, 10:27, Reply)
You're off my christmas card list.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 10:33, Reply)
Aww, sweetheart!
He can fight though! He beat up Homer last night....and he had a great holiday at an all male resort. ;)
(I helped save b3ta! chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 10:38, Reply)
A mere 11
I'm going to have to buck up my ideas, otherwise I might slip further towards being acceptable to them.

I was in New Orleans for the 2001 Southern Decadence festival. Didn't intend to be, just the way it worked out. Those kind of demonstrators were out in force then, too. They were all, without exception, the most obvious kind of redneck yokels. I'm not ashamed to say that I kept my whore mouth shut when I saw them. They looked like they were one arse-pinch away from gun crime.

Had my crotch grabbed by the scariest-looking bear I'd ever seen that same night. Kept my mouth shut then, too. America is a land of dichotomy. And serious, bowel loosening danger.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 10:12, Reply)
the whore-mouth bit made me laugh

(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 10:13, Reply)
I don't think I could have been more uncomfortable
if I'd been camping in the nonce wing of Wormwood.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 10:19, Reply)
Well I'm DEFINITELY a gangster rapper, so that's 1 to start with.
However I am no longer a fornicator so I'm back down to 0
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 10:12, Reply)
f'sizzle
*does knuckle bump*
(I helped save b3ta! lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 10:13, Reply)
Ow! That hurt!
*wonders if the whole 'gangster rapper' career may be ill-thought-out*
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 10:14, Reply)
No way man, if that hairlipped Phoenix bloke can become one
you should be a shoe-in
(I helped save b3ta! Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 10:17, Reply)
Joaquin is a rapper?
you are shitting me.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 10:17, Reply)
nah River
from beyond the grave cos he's hard-core
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 10:20, Reply)
He's in this crew:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=gE-5Q_xyiwo
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 10:21, Reply)

dude he went mental and relaunched himself as a rapper. Walk the Line broke him.
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 10:21, Reply)
interestingly
(according to wikipedia anyway) it's not a hair lip, he has a birthmark on his lip which looks like a hair lip scar thing.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 10:24, Reply)
wrong hair Vipros
hare-lip it is
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 10:25, Reply)
what a twat
I knew that
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 10:26, Reply)
of course you did
proximity to bobbychompy isn't sucking your brain dry at all
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 10:27, Reply)

I am not that stupid!
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 10:31, Reply)
didn't really think about it
then I was going to blame it on wikipedia having the wrong spelling, but it doesn't actually mention hare-lips (or hair lips) at all.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 10:33, Reply)
I now am thinking about Allo Allo

(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 10:26, Reply)
since you're here
did you enjoy Dance, Dance, Dance (Revolution)
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 10:28, Reply)

Not started it yet. Reading The Girl Who Played With Fire. Dance cubed is next on my list.
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 10:30, Reply)
He's going to try
and he's goanna do it sporting some impressive facial hair
(I helped save b3ta! Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 10:22, Reply)
wait a minute - racist ? BACK UP TO 1, OH YES.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 10:16, Reply)
The Gentleman Rapper
sippin' on cognac while he polishes his rapier
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 10:16, Reply)
He's cruisin' the streets
an' picking up flappers
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 10:17, Reply)
He gotta keep his pimp hand strong
as it has been suggested in studies that those with a dominant left hand may not live as long as their right-handed compatriots.
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 10:21, Reply)
I read a paper on that
the premise was that the author's pimping hand had gone limp. He went on to suggest that he's a pirate, lost his booty, he's a pimp without a dog without a bone.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 10:23, Reply)
check out The Correspondents
particularly their song Rogue.

Reminds me of Monty.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 10:18, Reply)
Actually Smooth B from golden age legends Nice N Smooth
was known amongst my friends as 'the posh rapper'.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 10:22, Reply)

rapier pork sword
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 10:23, Reply)
Monocled MC kickin' shit to the peasantz
Step in my path and I'll be rather unpleasant.
Stately home nigga from the upper class:
My midget butler could kick yo' fuckin' ass.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 10:25, Reply)
Nothing will ever top this. Never.

(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 10:26, Reply)

^POTD

because you can't issue it to yourself.
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 10:27, Reply)
Serve you haterz up like a brace of pheasants

(Zoz prayed for twink on, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 10:35, Reply)
I wish I'd thought of that.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 10:38, Reply)
Step on stage and the crowd applauds
Hereditary position in the House of Lords
Cruise the fuckin' streets in an antique Bentley
Safe in my position in the landed gentry.

My style's unique, make you fraudz bleed
Old skool sneakerz made of Harris Tweed
Freshest pimp in the whole wide world because
You know another nigga with Adidas plus fours?
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 10:46, Reply)
We need to find someone to lay down some phat beats
and this could be a hit
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 10:50, Reply)
I wrote it for the beat of 'Sucka MC's' by Run DMC

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 10:56, Reply)
I thoguht about trying my own but the only beat I could think of was
fix UP look SHAAAARRRRP and I'm not sure it fits the Gentleman Rapper persona.
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 10:58, Reply)
Apart from the bit about "staying true to his grammar"

(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 10:58, Reply)
That's one of the best beats ever and entirely appropriate
The original record is 'Big Beat' by Billy Squier, a rock classic in its own right:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=TcQYgrm6Vv0

Fucking LOVE.IT.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 11:01, Reply)
Ooh thank you now I know the original track
Though I am quite ashamed to admit I only just found out that Can't Touch This used a sample.
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 11:08, Reply)
I've done whole sets
of 'records you don't know, but know a tune that sampled it' before, smart-arse twat that I am.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 11:11, Reply)
You'll probably hate him
but Girl Talk are well worth a listen. My favourite album of his opens with a rapper talking about his bitch over the Spencer Davis Group. Fantastic. There have been many songs that I hear snatches off and then realise what they are from that.
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 11:15, Reply)
I scored 0
because I am lovely and sweet and innocent and going to Heaven with da angles and me an jade will make evyfink ok
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 10:18, Reply)
Pah.

(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Wed 1 Sep 2010, 10:22, Reply)
Ha!

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 10:24, Reply)
Hang on??
So you're saying that you're not David Cameron?

Well there's a thing.
(I helped save b3ta! Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 10:25, Reply)
13 I reckon
Jesus, what kind of a person are you if you are none of the things on this list?
(Zoz prayed for twink on, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 10:32, Reply)
Getting into heaven, that's what

(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 10:34, Reply)
you might have an interesting view on this
I've always wondered right, if Lucifer got booted out of heaven for rebelling etc. why would he set up shop and punish everyone who didn't do what God wanted.

Seems to me like he'd be out to reward them.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 10:35, Reply)
Oh Kurt Vonnegut.
paraphrasing "The Devil gave Adam and Eve the apple, and inside the apple was sex and jazz and liquor, and the Devil smiled, and told them to enjoy it"
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 10:36, Reply)
I like that a lot

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 10:39, Reply)
I'll find the proper quote at some point, it's great
His Devil is female too.
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 10:43, Reply)
because there are some very interesting theological views
including my favourite- the fortunate fall, which as an extrapolation includes that the devil had to fall to have his place in things
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 10:38, Reply)
confusing business
have you read I, Lucifer?
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 10:40, Reply)
Felix culpa
the idea that from misfortune comes good, and that the fall from Eden was necessary in order to achieve full being

I haven't read I, Lucifer, is it good?
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 10:43, Reply)
I'm trying to remember whether that is mentioned in I, Lucifer.
I really enjoyed it. You'll tear through it. The writing style is kind of like someone is telling the story to you really fast and kind of twitchily.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 10:47, Reply)
if it is mentioned
it'll be in a different sense since felix culpa has it as part of God's plan.

What is it about?
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 10:49, Reply)
God offers Lucifer another chance
he says that if Lucifer lives as a human for the rest of the human's life and behaves himself he'll be allowed back. Lucifer gets a month's free trial. The body he occupies is a failing writer and Lucifer sets about writing a screenplay etc. for a film about creation and his fall.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 10:52, Reply)
well you have to tell me the ending now :P

(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 10:52, Reply)
nope
Read it. It's worth a go. Some of the concepts are quite interesting, and the story is amusing.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 10:55, Reply)
I'll read it
if I can get hold of a copy :)
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 10:57, Reply)
I could possibly send you one (if I haven't lent it to someone)
when are you back in civilisation?
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 11:07, Reply)
1st October
terrible times. Unless I win the lottery
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 11:11, Reply)
do you play the lottery?

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 11:12, Reply)
no
strikes me as pointless
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 11:13, Reply)
the Pope?
oh...wait...
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 10:34, Reply)
The new guy does not look right.

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 10:40, Reply)
He's hiding a frozen chicken under his hat.

(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 10:41, Reply)
that's because someone stole his Precious

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 10:41, Reply)
The last one was a lot more appealing

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 10:41, Reply)
That's a bad picture
I think he was quite handsome in his day, old JP2
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 10:44, Reply)
Your Mum.

(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 10:37, Reply)
We found a prayer card when my nana Maggie died, it was with all her photos
It was a prayer to the Virgin Mary to find a girl a husband.
On the back of this prayer was a list of all the things a Catholic wife should be.
We got to the end and my grandad pipes up "Who'd marry HER? She sounds fucking boring!"
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 10:38, Reply)
Brilliant

(Zoz prayed for twink on, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 10:44, Reply)
8 and a half

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 10:34, Reply)

pure as the driven snow eh Sherlock!
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 10:38, Reply)
Nah
but I don't consider myself a Darwinist or Evolutionist.
I reckon these things are right but I'm not overly knowledgeable about them.
So it would have been higher if I'd claimed to be an 'ist' of things I merely accept.
Same as I HAVE been a social pot smoker but now I'm not and I'm very sorry and won't do it again. Jesus forgives ;)
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 10:41, Reply)

I just like to belong so I picked most of them!
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 10:43, Reply)
16
but what the fuck is the difference between a Darwinist and an evolutionist? do they just mean you believe in evolution but more Mendel than Darwin?
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 10:37, Reply)

de ta
(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 10:39, Reply)

I can't even work out what you're going for here?
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 10:41, Reply)
"Mental than darwin"
it doesn't make much sense and it's not funny so it ticks all strikethrough gag boxes.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 10:43, Reply)
Not even worth knowing. Dull. But cheers Chompy.

(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 10:44, Reply)

fuck off

Is that better?
(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 10:50, Reply)
mental you spazz

(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 10:43, Reply)
fuck you fucker!

(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 10:45, Reply)
Darwinists believe that a man named Charles Darwin once existed
he had a big beard and some tropical diseases
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 10:40, Reply)

I know what Darwinism is you sarcy beardy twunt! wasn't sure how it differed from being an evolutionist.
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 10:43, Reply)
Darwin knew nothing of DNA or that lot.
His ideas are a bit simplistic in terms of modern evolutionary theory.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 10:41, Reply)

I failed the evolution module first time last semester. You will not be surprised by this.
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 10:45, Reply)
You failed evolution?
Do your knuckles drag along the ground?
(I helped save b3ta! Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 10:50, Reply)
I like this,

(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 10:52, Reply)
yeah, he's basically a retard.

(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 10:50, Reply)
I rate 11

(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 10:38, Reply)

t p + d
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 10:46, Reply)
In that case I rate 12.

(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 10:51, Reply)
I ticked 16.
OMG I'm so going to hell : )
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 10:55, Reply)
see you there ;)

(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 1 Sep 2010, 11:00, Reply)
Ooh!
Hmm...only 9. Unless by 'Clegg' they mean anyone who voted for him, in which case 10.

Or unless you believe the rumours of my massive bumderism in which case I'm up to 11, possibly 12 if you count surprise bumderisings as a form of abuse.
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 11:00, Reply)
Abuse?
More like a happy ending.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 11:01, Reply)
Oh, you're getting such a bumming next time I see you...

(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 11:02, Reply)
I finally have something to look forward to.
Weeeeeeeeeeee!


Apart from it not being a surprise anymore.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 11:04, Reply)
Oh.
Sorry, but I'm just not into that...
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 11:05, Reply)
You can use your trusty marrow
the surprise will be which end you use.
(Zoz prayed for twink on, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 11:09, Reply)
Just as long as she doesn't wee all over me.
Though I did pick up a fresh and mighty marrow just the other day...
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 11:11, Reply)
I do believe them, yes.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 11:05, Reply)
Do you believe them more than you believe the words of Jesus Christ?

(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 11:07, Reply)
I believe the words of The Troggs more that those.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 11:11, Reply)
Excellent. I think this is enough belief on which to found a cult of Bumderism and The Troggs.
With possibly Bumderism Of The Troggs as a breakaway group.
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 11:15, Reply)
The original working title for
'Silence of the Lambs'
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 11:35, Reply)

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