CV's get harder the more experience you get.
And the higher up the jobs you go for, but for a student applying for a placement they're more like a fact sheet.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 11:48, 4 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Mine's looking fairly good just now
As it has relevant experience outwith uni, and has managed to get me 2 interviews within the past week.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 11:49, Reply)

Just put
"Look me can use the magic box! Me type and print!
Me also can use ring ring machine and the beepy beep beep machine!"

And a career in paperclip sales will be yours
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 11:49, Reply)

works in a box factory...
too easy.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 11:51, Reply)

I didn't even need to write anything to get this job
I just photocopied my boobs
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 11:52, Reply)

..shouldn't you have photocopied your box?

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 11:52, Reply)

That's not what you wrote first!
{joke about how it would engulf the photocopier and the entire office}
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 11:58, Reply)

haha, well spotted.
I didn't work out the line in my mind before I started typing. same as always.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 12:02, Reply)

A guy I once knew worked for Cadbury's packing bars or whatever they made
One new lady wasn't getting the hang of it and bars were spilling all over the shop floor. She was getting a bit wound up and so he turned to her and in a calm deadpan voice said "Look love, the reason stuff keeps falling out of your box is that your flaps are too loose"
(Zoz prayed for twink on, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 12:05, Reply)

I shall repost my Chris Cairns story.
Chris Cairns was a New Zealand cricketer a few years back. As a non-pro, your ICB registration needed to have your occupation listed on it, and his dad owned a confectionary factory. Whether it was deliberate or accidental, Chris Cairns went down in the ICB records for years as "Fudge packer"
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 12:16, Reply)

Arf!

(Zoz prayed for twink on, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 12:18, Reply)

Try writing an academic CV
:(
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 11:52, Reply)

I need to do the personal statement bit.
Why I'm such a science nerd and why they should pick me etc. It's just like my university personal statement all over again, it basically comes down to "I like viruses! Chose meeeeeeee! kthnxbai"
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 11:55, Reply)

When does it have to be done?
I find it easier to write absolute bollocks and look at it the next day and improve on it.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 11:57, Reply)

Friday
But today is the last day I can do it really.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 11:59, Reply)

Just pretend you're as smug as vipros,
write far too much about how great you are, then do something else for an hour and read it back, you may have to start again but it'll give you an idea of what you want/need to say.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 12:03, Reply)

you need to write what you have done that will help you succeed on this course
why you want to do this course and what you bring to the course.

That's what the Ucas gimp told me last year. And it seemed to work.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 12:07, Reply)

ah, I did some work for a while with VLPs
I don't like viruses. Stem cells are so much more fun.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 12:03, Reply)

I read that as VPL
which is Heat-speak for visible panty line.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 12:09, Reply)

Virus-like particles.
Self-assembling protein structures that mimic virus behaviour and induce an immune response in humans similar to that of the virus themselves, so can be used as vaccines. I worked for a bit with one for HepB and one for HIV. Interesting but scary.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 12:13, Reply)

I suggested at work today, when asked what the Civil Nuclear Constabulary did,
that they investigated crimes against particles. Sadly nobody laughed. Stupid Government!
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 12:17, Reply)

tc;dr

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 12:19, Reply)

too crap?

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 12:29, Reply)