Was the porn shoot for grannies do anal dot com?

(Bazongaloid, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 16:20, 2 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Can I just reiterate how much I hate you?

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 16:21, Reply)

You'll still accept my offer of a drink in October though

(Bazongaloid, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 16:23, Reply)

Probably. I don't know

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 16:24, Reply)

Okay, just imagine this
you're in a pub, got that? You're glass is empty, right? Here I come "Excuse me Lampito, would you like another double vodka and coke to go with the double vodka and coke I was going to buy you?".

Now this is you "Oh go on then"
*Funky wah-tinged music starts playing*
*EXPLICIT SCENE*

Now here's me again "Errrm, well, firstly I'm married, secondly this is a very public place, and thirdly I'd not get it in there without some lube, so I'm gonna say no"

and this is you again "Anyone else want to take his place?"
*EXPLICIT SCENE*
(Bazongaloid, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 16:28, Reply)

VODKA AND COKE?
Does no one know what I drink?!

Make it gin and lemonade and maybe you'll get an explicit scene.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 16:33, Reply)

If you put lemonade in perfectly good gin anywhere near me, you'll need to.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 16:35, Reply)

Sage words, oh mighty one.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 16:37, Reply)

Indeed sir.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 16:44, Reply)

Aha, perfectly good gin.
-hides bottle of Tesco Own Brand*-

*not the value stuff. Not that bad.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 16:39, Reply)

Meh, one or two of the own brand jobs are OK as a session gin.
But seriously, why the fuck lemonade? Or, more to the point, why gin? you're just saturating the subtle flavours with sickly sweetness.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 16:41, Reply)

I'm not keen on tonic water
I also drink it with ginger ale.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 16:44, Reply)

Barbaric is the word you are looking for.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 16:48, Reply)

Gin defilers will be first against the wall when the revolution comes.
Well, second after that George Osborne tit.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 16:49, Reply)

Do I get a stay of execution for services to the porn industry?

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 16:50, Reply)

We may be able to work something out.
*leers*
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 16:56, Reply)

I'm currently unaware of the depth of your services to the porn industry.
Therefore I would be unable to take that into consideration at this moment.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 16:56, Reply)

depth is the right word
length is also
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 17:16, Reply)

It's all about the girth.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 17:19, Reply)

AMEN
Tonic water, or bitter lemon.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 16:39, Reply)

how do you stand on the matter of gin and orange?

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 16:41, Reply)

I'm ambivalent, I can't say I've tried it.
But I suspect you're still going to overpower the flavours of gin. But the problem with lemonade is the sweetness is all wrong for gin. See also: UK Schwepps tonic, diet tonic, anything with artificial sweetners in it.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 16:43, Reply)

I'm a fan of gin
and I do indeed agree with you.

but gin and orange isn't bad.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 16:44, Reply)

I'm prepared to give it a whirl
does it help if it's a more bitter orange juice?
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 16:46, Reply)

it helps if you go
for decent orange juice. No concentrated stuff. It can be rather nice
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 16:48, Reply)

^this
a more bitter juice would be better. The more natural the better as well.

Some home-squeezed seville juice might work nicely
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 16:50, Reply)

Vile.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 16:56, Reply)

When I'm at one of those pubs that doesn't serve anything branded, the only drink I like there is vodka and lemonaid with blackcurrent cordial.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 16:45, Reply)

you can do what the fuck you like with vodka
Unless you're shelling out upwards of £25 a bottle it's just a method of putting alcohol into something without bothering with flavour.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 16:47, Reply)

That Vladvar stuff is quite good.
I don't really drink that much to tell you the truth.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 16:49, Reply)

vladivar is cheap crap. I'd rather have Smirnoff than that
I like a nice vodka, unfortunately they are hard to come by and are expensive when you do find one.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 16:51, Reply)

Absolut is marginally better
and Grey Goose is rather nice
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 16:54, Reply)

I don't care for Absolut
the Stolichnya you get in supermarkets is probably the best of the cheap ones.

I tend to have vodka, lime and soda, which is quite nice even with a pretty cheap one.

I'm not a fan of whisky at all, although I can tolerate the peaty ones. I actually like the taste of vodka though, so will happily shell out for a bottle of 42 below or something.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 16:57, Reply)

^This
Vodka is awesome.
( girlinthehole, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 16:58, Reply)

The last bottle of Stolichnya
I got was alright. I'd never buy anything cheaper than that or Smirnoff (not exactly high standards.) Vodka, lime and soda is okay.

Whisky is lovely. I'd drink it as my drink of choice a lot of the time. Only single malt obviously
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 17:00, Reply)

stoli from russia is much nicer
the blue and black smirnoffs are alright.

Not sure what I don't like about whisky. Not sure if it is the taste or not. I know it gives me indigestion, same as absinthe.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 17:04, Reply)

Had a Russian student
stay with us once who brought gifts of jars of black caviar, red caviar and the strongest and most expensive Russian vodka I have ever set my eyes upon.

Whisky is something that requires time occasionally. And a willingness to give different types a shot
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 17:06, Reply)

oh man, I love caviar
and strong expensive russian vodka.

I will give it a go from time to time. I discovered last November that I don't mind Laphroaig, so I will continue my experiments in that region.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 17:09, Reply)

Me too to all these things.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 17:15, Reply)

I love top-end spirits off all kinds
bar the Ouzo/Raki family which are unremittingly foul.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 17:06, Reply)

pernod only has one use
adding to snakebite black to make a black witch.

and I have grown out of that
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 17:09, Reply)

Bleugh. My tastebuds and aniseed are sworn enemies.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 17:15, Reply)

^This
I tasted ouzo for the first time in Kos.

Foul!
( girlinthehole, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 17:17, Reply)

bad experience?
or just natural
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 17:17, Reply)

Natural, unlikely as this sounds

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 17:20, Reply)

not at all
same with me and the vile taste of cucumber
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 17:59, Reply)

Testify, sister.
/ac
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 17:18, Reply)

correct.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 17:01, Reply)

I like bisongrass vodka and fresh apple juice
because it tastes just like apple pies. Otherwise, I'm not really down with the vodka. I do appreciate a good one, but for the amount they cost I'd rather have a malt whisky. Or some tanqueray 10.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 16:55, Reply)

I've had vodka, apple juice and whipped cream
it really is surprisingly like an apple pie
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 16:58, Reply)

So do I. I'm beginning to think YOU are me and not TGB.
Maybe I have multiple logins like Bert?

I would like to stress that is where the similarity ends.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 17:00, Reply)

Right.
So, you've definitely not fucked your sister, then?
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 17:13, Reply)

Almost definitely.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 17:14, Reply)

Those lovely germans ! It's true what they say, life does begin at 74.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 16:24, Reply)

Hahaha
Gonz can I just say, not pandering so you and I can do some sushi porn or anything, that 'Offtopic Magazine' Bert cover is perhaps the funniest thing I have seen this year?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 16:29, Reply)

I have to agree
I slave for minutes, sometimes up to an hour on pictures that I call shitty but I'm quite proud of, and Gonz comes along and takes a massive, sushi-filled dump on my work by unleashing his masterpiece.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 16:32, Reply)

I have not seen this.
where is this work of magnificence?
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 16:33, Reply)

=)

90nz0.com/stuff/bert.jpg
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 16:35, Reply)

haha, splendid work.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 16:36, Reply)

I'm so mad I missed all this
but I don't care enough to go figure out what happened
( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 16:46, Reply)

The thing about Bert fucking his sister all came out.
I've been bursting at the scemes when I found out about it, just waiting for it to be made public.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 16:48, Reply)

lol wut
he fucked his sister and you knew but didn't tell anybody?

who is his sister?
( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 16:52, Reply)

long lost half sister
no one we know. I think he'd mentioned it before, so I'm sure a few people knew about it.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 16:55, Reply)

how'd he manage that then?

( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 16:59, Reply)

Well, the man takes his 'winkle' and...

To be honest Swiz, I'm surprised you need this explaining to you.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 17:02, Reply)

A few people knew, but it was deemed 'offline stuff'.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 16:57, Reply)

Yeah.
Unfortunately his ego got the better of him and he outed himself as having done it because he thought becky was going to mention it and figured he'd trump her.

She wasn't going to say a word.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 13 Sep 2010, 17:26, Reply)

It's worth a trawl. Believe me.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 16:49, Reply)

All the good stuff got deleted by the time I got there =(

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 16:50, Reply)

Really? Gu-tted.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 17:04, Reply)

it was right that a couple of things got deleted though - Bert posted stuff about other people that wasn't any of his or anyone else's business

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 17:28, Reply)

In the Friz pic thread

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 16:35, Reply)

=D thanks =D

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 16:34, Reply)