Morning all
Just got to work. Got rid of the most ENORMOUS FUCKING SPIDER this morning, it was the size of my hand. Just sat there on the wall next to the phone. It was so big that I wondered for a minute whether it might be a decoration of some kind, before realizing that the idea of Ms Foxtrot having a spider-shaped decoration is fucking preposterous.

Themed parties are a good idea as long as you commit to the theme and do it right down to the last detail. If you decide on a theme make sure you have lots of ideas to flesh it out
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 23 Sep 2010, 8:48, 1 reply, 15 years ago)

the size of that spider is preposterous.
why all this sudden talk of spiders? yesterday it was a spiders arse, today it's a massive one next to the phone. When will it stop?!
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 23 Sep 2010, 8:50, Reply)

For someone in Australia, you are awefully squeamish about spiders.
How do you survive?
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 23 Sep 2010, 8:54, Reply)

with a can of mortein in my car and in my room at all times.
sorry, but when you've had huntsmans crawl down your face and up your arm and bare leg, it sort of makes you very phobic!
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 23 Sep 2010, 8:56, Reply)

It would do me, but you have it all the time.
Don't you de-sensertise.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 23 Sep 2010, 8:58, Reply)

not really...they tend to lurk for the most part, so I don't see them till they're about to kill something.

(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 23 Sep 2010, 9:00, Reply)

I've been avoiding Australia for this reason.
I let them live when I'm outside, but in my home, they die.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 23 Sep 2010, 9:02, Reply)

I do unless they're on/in my car.

(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 23 Sep 2010, 9:05, Reply)

Huntsman spiders are harmless
If a bit shit-scary. If I was an Aussie, I'd be more worried about the fact that every other animal there (bar the Huntsman) can kill me dead...
(Miraclefish How appropriate, you fight like a cow, Thu 23 Sep 2010, 9:23, Reply)

Actually Huntsmans aren't harmless if you're allergic to them.
it's not really the fact that they're toxic or anything for spiders, it's the way they move and feel on your skin that really horrifies me.
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 23 Sep 2010, 9:27, Reply)

They are freaky lookin'
Still, tailless whip scorpions make them look cuddly...
(Miraclefish How appropriate, you fight like a cow, Thu 23 Sep 2010, 9:32, Reply)

I've never seen a hand sized spider in the UK
Although I did meet an impressively large Huntsman in Queensland once.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 23 Sep 2010, 8:54, Reply)

I may have been scaremongering slightly
The spider's body was not colossal by any means, but with leg-span it was the size of my hand. Don't want you thinking that the spiders in Norfolk have taken all the evolution that the humans rejected
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 23 Sep 2010, 8:59, Reply)

Are you sure it wasn't a daddy long legs?

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 23 Sep 2010, 9:01, Reply)

if they didn't drop down into the shower while I was using it, I would be able to cope with them.

(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 23 Sep 2010, 9:02, Reply)

Inconsiderate shites
I've never known what the fuss is with spiders but they're not poisonous in this country

Poppet, remind me how much of a flying fuck you give about cricket? Am attempting to establish whether we can still be friends over the winter
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 23 Sep 2010, 9:09, Reply)

They are actually poisonous in the UK
Just not sufficiently toxic to cause humans any problem.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 23 Sep 2010, 9:11, Reply)

Potato, po-tah-to
Let's call the whole thing off...

*breaks into flawless Quickstep*
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 23 Sep 2010, 9:12, Reply)

*Holds up card with '10' on it*
*gives critical acclaim in gushing tones and Italian accent*
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 23 Sep 2010, 9:13, Reply)

There are 6 species of spider indigenous to the United Kingdom
whose venom is capable of incapacitating a large mammal.

Thanks New Scientist, I really wanted to know that.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 23 Sep 2010, 9:31, Reply)

cricket is bollocks
utter utter bollocks
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 23 Sep 2010, 9:12, Reply)

Only when players are taking bribes to throw a game
Otherwise it's great. It was the only sport I was ever any good at, and the only one I enjoyed playing.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 23 Sep 2010, 9:16, Reply)

Not even one iota of a flying fuck.

(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 23 Sep 2010, 9:17, Reply)

Oh good
I will have to find someone else to mock then
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 23 Sep 2010, 9:18, Reply)

whoever it is, as long as it's not me, I don't care.

(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 23 Sep 2010, 9:20, Reply)

Actually, they're venomous.
Poisonous refers to things that can harm you if you eat them. Venomous is things that harm you when they try to eat you...
(Miraclefish How appropriate, you fight like a cow, Thu 23 Sep 2010, 9:31, Reply)

Sure that's not just your pubes
washing down the drain?

/puerile humour
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 23 Sep 2010, 9:10, Reply)

That was insensitive
Everyone knows Australians don't have pubes
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 23 Sep 2010, 9:11, Reply)

No?
But I've seen Aussie pubes. Maybe she wasn't a native...
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 23 Sep 2010, 9:12, Reply)

I'm first generation aussie on my dad's side.
I'm half Dutch.
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 23 Sep 2010, 9:16, Reply)

also, this conversation about whether or not I have pubes is a bit personal surely?

(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 23 Sep 2010, 9:17, Reply)

Welcome to B3ta.
Edit - I wasn't referring to you when I was on about having seen Aussie pubes!
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 23 Sep 2010, 9:18, Reply)

So you're blonde and 6 feet tall then?
Or at least half blonde and 3 feet tall, if you're half Dutch.

Don't know how that affects your minge though.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 23 Sep 2010, 9:17, Reply)

um 5 foot 4, and auburn.
and stop talking about my minge. :(
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 23 Sep 2010, 9:19, Reply)

Is there something wrong with it?

(Bazongaloid, Thu 23 Sep 2010, 9:19, Reply)

no, it's just not a part of my body I generally discuss in public.

(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 23 Sep 2010, 9:20, Reply)

But we're all inside at the moment
so it's not very public.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 23 Sep 2010, 9:22, Reply)

It's a common enough subject
Minges in general, that is. Not yours in particular. But today, I seem to have started a discussion about yours. Sorry.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 23 Sep 2010, 9:21, Reply)

Half of it likes being shown off in public
the other half is racist.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 23 Sep 2010, 9:19, Reply)

I'm trying to work out which is which

( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 23 Sep 2010, 9:21, Reply)