where is everybody today?
it feels like you're all at a party somewhere else and nobody invited me. are you all still in bed?

alt question: i have a BD meeting shortly where i have to be sparky and proactive, despite feeling like a grey dishcloth after a late night at work, and come up with client entertainment ideas. what do you think is a good thing to do with clients? alt q: if you are lucky enough not to have to do this sort of client entertaining, are themed parties a good or a shit idea and what's the best one you've been to?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 23 Sep 2010, 8:24, 64 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

I'm studying partly and getting snide comments on facebook about the quality of my friendship.
So that's me, but I'm getting sick of both so might just stick around here for a bit.

Also, I think themed parties can be great if you find something that interests the people there.
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 23 Sep 2010, 8:29, Reply)

This social networking thing isn't all it's cracked up to be
Quality of friendship, indeed!
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 23 Sep 2010, 8:30, Reply)

yeah I know.
This is just her being petty because she scheduled a meet up on a night she knows I work, and then cracked it when I said I wasn't ditching work just for drinks.
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 23 Sep 2010, 8:34, Reply)

Some people can be really arsey
If I arranged drinks, I'd try to do so when people weren't working. And if it was unavoidable, then of course if someone has to work then (s)he misses the meet up. That's how it is. Why be snippy about it?

Some folk need a good slap.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 23 Sep 2010, 8:36, Reply)

mmm well I'm at the point where I just don't care about her shit anymore,
which is sad, but unavoidable when she does this EVERY time. It's like she's looking for a fight.
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 23 Sep 2010, 8:38, Reply)

I believe the apposite expression here is
'cunt her in the fuck'
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 23 Sep 2010, 8:40, Reply)

nah, just deleted her from facebook.
easier and less energy devoted to it. ;)
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 23 Sep 2010, 8:42, Reply)

I'm here, cos I'm an early riser.
Hello.

I've no idea what a BD meeting is. My first thought was to do with bondage, but I doubt that the English legal profession has official meetings on that subject.

And last time I was at a themed party I was about 8. I wouldn't go to one now. It's a crap idea.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 23 Sep 2010, 8:29, Reply)

Legal profession probably doesn't
but that doesn't mean Rachelswipe isn't about to have a meeting in her profession all about leather and chains and handcuffs and whips and shit.

Literally shit, she's into that kind of stuff.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 23 Sep 2010, 8:56, Reply)

Pfft!

( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 23 Sep 2010, 9:11, Reply)

morning rach, i'm still in bed but have a day off so it's allowed.
We used to always do sporty stuff for BD such as golf or sailing or shooting etc. Also going to the races is quite fun.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 23 Sep 2010, 8:34, Reply)

Morning all
Just got to work. Got rid of the most ENORMOUS FUCKING SPIDER this morning, it was the size of my hand. Just sat there on the wall next to the phone. It was so big that I wondered for a minute whether it might be a decoration of some kind, before realizing that the idea of Ms Foxtrot having a spider-shaped decoration is fucking preposterous.

Themed parties are a good idea as long as you commit to the theme and do it right down to the last detail. If you decide on a theme make sure you have lots of ideas to flesh it out
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 23 Sep 2010, 8:48, Reply)

the size of that spider is preposterous.
why all this sudden talk of spiders? yesterday it was a spiders arse, today it's a massive one next to the phone. When will it stop?!
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 23 Sep 2010, 8:50, Reply)

For someone in Australia, you are awefully squeamish about spiders.
How do you survive?
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 23 Sep 2010, 8:54, Reply)

with a can of mortein in my car and in my room at all times.
sorry, but when you've had huntsmans crawl down your face and up your arm and bare leg, it sort of makes you very phobic!
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 23 Sep 2010, 8:56, Reply)

It would do me, but you have it all the time.
Don't you de-sensertise.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 23 Sep 2010, 8:58, Reply)

not really...they tend to lurk for the most part, so I don't see them till they're about to kill something.

(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 23 Sep 2010, 9:00, Reply)

I've been avoiding Australia for this reason.
I let them live when I'm outside, but in my home, they die.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 23 Sep 2010, 9:02, Reply)

I do unless they're on/in my car.

(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 23 Sep 2010, 9:05, Reply)

Huntsman spiders are harmless
If a bit shit-scary. If I was an Aussie, I'd be more worried about the fact that every other animal there (bar the Huntsman) can kill me dead...
(Miraclefish How appropriate, you fight like a cow, Thu 23 Sep 2010, 9:23, Reply)

Actually Huntsmans aren't harmless if you're allergic to them.
it's not really the fact that they're toxic or anything for spiders, it's the way they move and feel on your skin that really horrifies me.
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 23 Sep 2010, 9:27, Reply)

They are freaky lookin'
Still, tailless whip scorpions make them look cuddly...
(Miraclefish How appropriate, you fight like a cow, Thu 23 Sep 2010, 9:32, Reply)

I've never seen a hand sized spider in the UK
Although I did meet an impressively large Huntsman in Queensland once.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 23 Sep 2010, 8:54, Reply)

I may have been scaremongering slightly
The spider's body was not colossal by any means, but with leg-span it was the size of my hand. Don't want you thinking that the spiders in Norfolk have taken all the evolution that the humans rejected
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 23 Sep 2010, 8:59, Reply)

Are you sure it wasn't a daddy long legs?

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 23 Sep 2010, 9:01, Reply)

if they didn't drop down into the shower while I was using it, I would be able to cope with them.

(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 23 Sep 2010, 9:02, Reply)

Inconsiderate shites
I've never known what the fuss is with spiders but they're not poisonous in this country

Poppet, remind me how much of a flying fuck you give about cricket? Am attempting to establish whether we can still be friends over the winter
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 23 Sep 2010, 9:09, Reply)

They are actually poisonous in the UK
Just not sufficiently toxic to cause humans any problem.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 23 Sep 2010, 9:11, Reply)

Potato, po-tah-to
Let's call the whole thing off...

*breaks into flawless Quickstep*
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 23 Sep 2010, 9:12, Reply)

*Holds up card with '10' on it*
*gives critical acclaim in gushing tones and Italian accent*
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 23 Sep 2010, 9:13, Reply)

There are 6 species of spider indigenous to the United Kingdom
whose venom is capable of incapacitating a large mammal.

Thanks New Scientist, I really wanted to know that.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 23 Sep 2010, 9:31, Reply)

cricket is bollocks
utter utter bollocks
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 23 Sep 2010, 9:12, Reply)

Only when players are taking bribes to throw a game
Otherwise it's great. It was the only sport I was ever any good at, and the only one I enjoyed playing.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 23 Sep 2010, 9:16, Reply)

Not even one iota of a flying fuck.

(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 23 Sep 2010, 9:17, Reply)

Oh good
I will have to find someone else to mock then
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 23 Sep 2010, 9:18, Reply)

whoever it is, as long as it's not me, I don't care.

(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 23 Sep 2010, 9:20, Reply)

Actually, they're venomous.
Poisonous refers to things that can harm you if you eat them. Venomous is things that harm you when they try to eat you...
(Miraclefish How appropriate, you fight like a cow, Thu 23 Sep 2010, 9:31, Reply)

Sure that's not just your pubes
washing down the drain?

/puerile humour
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 23 Sep 2010, 9:10, Reply)

That was insensitive
Everyone knows Australians don't have pubes
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 23 Sep 2010, 9:11, Reply)

No?
But I've seen Aussie pubes. Maybe she wasn't a native...
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 23 Sep 2010, 9:12, Reply)

I'm first generation aussie on my dad's side.
I'm half Dutch.
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 23 Sep 2010, 9:16, Reply)

also, this conversation about whether or not I have pubes is a bit personal surely?

(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 23 Sep 2010, 9:17, Reply)

Welcome to B3ta.
Edit - I wasn't referring to you when I was on about having seen Aussie pubes!
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 23 Sep 2010, 9:18, Reply)

So you're blonde and 6 feet tall then?
Or at least half blonde and 3 feet tall, if you're half Dutch.

Don't know how that affects your minge though.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 23 Sep 2010, 9:17, Reply)

um 5 foot 4, and auburn.
and stop talking about my minge. :(
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 23 Sep 2010, 9:19, Reply)

Is there something wrong with it?

(Bazongaloid, Thu 23 Sep 2010, 9:19, Reply)

no, it's just not a part of my body I generally discuss in public.

(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 23 Sep 2010, 9:20, Reply)

But we're all inside at the moment
so it's not very public.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 23 Sep 2010, 9:22, Reply)

It's a common enough subject
Minges in general, that is. Not yours in particular. But today, I seem to have started a discussion about yours. Sorry.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 23 Sep 2010, 9:21, Reply)

Half of it likes being shown off in public
the other half is racist.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 23 Sep 2010, 9:19, Reply)

I'm trying to work out which is which

( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 23 Sep 2010, 9:21, Reply)

Client entertaining is painful in the extreme.
Being nice to people just because they may give you a bit of business is best left to suck up salesmen.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 23 Sep 2010, 8:57, Reply)

Nope, I'm at work
Was late this morning, forgot I had to put my rubbish out until just before I was meant to leave, not the best!

I'd say take them for a meal, but after that I'm out of ideas.

EDIT: Fuck me, even I think that was a dull answer. Now I know how you lot feel.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 23 Sep 2010, 9:02, Reply)

Alt Q
Horse racing if you have the day.
There is an indoor go-kart place in Chelsea if it's an evening.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 23 Sep 2010, 9:09, Reply)

there are evening horse races too.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Thu 23 Sep 2010, 9:12, Reply)

Of course.
Dog racing is fun but prolly a bit common for a solicitor/client evening.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 23 Sep 2010, 9:27, Reply)

We do events for business development
Private dinners with a speaker
Horse racing (sponsor a race etc)
Charitable events (dinner dance with charity raffle etc)

We've learned that too much of this sort of thing is offputting - makes you seem too expensive if the company can throw a lot of money at things like this.
(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Thu 23 Sep 2010, 9:11, Reply)

Give them a cup of tea and a biscuit
A chocolate one, if they're a particularly valuable customer.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 23 Sep 2010, 9:14, Reply)

I bought a box of biscuits today
it was £3. I could entertain a lot of clients for that amount.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 23 Sep 2010, 9:20, Reply)

Or just eat them by yourself.

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 23 Sep 2010, 9:27, Reply)

Cue fat al pictures

(Bazongaloid, Thu 23 Sep 2010, 9:30, Reply)

Agreed.
You have to strike a happy medium with how flash the offices look too. Needs to be nice but not like you are gouging clients with your £650 p/h rates.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 23 Sep 2010, 9:29, Reply)

Again I'm going to have to say bouncy castle
or if you can afford it, try to reconstruct the set from Fun House (minus Pat Sharp but the blonde twins can stay). They'll love it
(Zoz prayed for twink on, Thu 23 Sep 2010, 9:48, Reply)

Just make sure the evening has a 'happy ending'.

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Thu 23 Sep 2010, 10:38, Reply)