Bit early to stomp on a thread but I need your advice please
I had a long term freelancer quit last week who refused to work any notice period. We haven’t fallen out – he just needs some time out. The problem I have is that he has a company laptop that he is refusing to return. I really need it, the company cannot current afford to replace it (we are a small business) and it has some data on it (that he cannot access and isn’t backed up on to Dropbox) that I need asap for a client.

I have tried emailing & calling him and I am getting no response. It is technically theft from the company and I really don’t know what to do. I don’t want to have to get the Police involved (assuming they would be interested). He has moved house recently so I don’t have a current address for him.

What do you think I should do?
(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 9:46, 138 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Police
You need it back and its not his to keep
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 9:48, Reply)

^This
If he's not answering your calls or emails, and there's no other way of getting hold of him, go to the cops.
Do you have a record of him refusing to return it?
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 9:50, Reply)

Or....
Do you have a record of the company buying it if he is going to be a twat?
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 9:51, Reply)

Yes I have all that paperwork.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 9:55, Reply)

Then it is theft 100%
Give him one last chance to give you it back or the Police will be involved
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 9:56, Reply)

I'd email him one last time telling him you're going to have to get the police involved if he doesn't return it
give him a deadline to respond and then call the feds.

EDIT: whoops, what Sportscow said.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 10:11, Reply)

damn straight

( disasterprone "Pyjamas caused the Holocaust", Thu 7 Oct 2010, 10:25, Reply)

Before the police, go and visit in person.
Any evasion on his part, straight down the cop shop. Mention that to him, before you do, he may change his mind.

Edit. Does your company owe him any money still? should add some leverage.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 9:50, Reply)

He doesn't know where he lives.

(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 7 Oct 2010, 9:54, Reply)

I don't have a current address for him. I have said in an email that if he doesn't return I will have to go to the rozzers but this hasn't made any difference

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 9:55, Reply)

Are there any agencies involved in the contracting?
ask them if they have a current address, don't tell them why, just say you have some important info for him.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 9:59, Reply)

No he was a direct hire. He's worked for me for nine months and there have been no problems until now.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 10:00, Reply)

I'd call your local station and
ask for some advice - failing that the CAB probably would be able to help.

Problem is I don't think it can be classified as theft as it was given to him in the first place.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 9:52, Reply)

It is theft, surely?
If you loan me something and I refuse to give it back, I have stolen it
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 9:54, Reply)

Could just be a misunderstanding
But it's unlikely. He hasn't refused to give it back per se, he's just not contactable.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 9:55, Reply)

He must know the laptop is not his though

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 9:56, Reply)

For it to be theft
you have to prove his intent to keep it. Taking without consent is not the same as theft, legally.
( Kroney, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 10:10, Reply)

No, but it is still illegal
hence my conviction for borrowing cars
( disasterprone "Pyjamas caused the Holocaust", Thu 7 Oct 2010, 10:27, Reply)

his mobile rings and emails to his personal email address are not bouncing back so there's no reason why my messages shouldn't have got to him.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 9:59, Reply)

It was provided to him by the company to enable him to do work for me. It is listed as a company asset and was purchased by the company

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 9:56, Reply)

It's theft from an employer
it has a whole section of law devoted to it. See if he's got any pens as well while you're at it!
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 10:14, Reply)

I'll have the post-it notes back an'all

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 10:17, Reply)

I've made origami cranes out of my post-it notes

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 10:32, Reply)

I made ninja stars
And threw around the office. It was satisfying
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 10:34, Reply)

Sweep in with the cavalry from the high ground in the west.
This should help protect from his archers. His forces are mostly untrained rabble, and he has only a thousand mounted knights, so do this after the rest of your forces have engaged on the southern plains. Caught between your superior foot troops and the hammer blow of the cavalry attack, he should surrender quickly and return what is rightfully yours.

Failing that, contact him one last time informing him of your intentions, and if you still get no reply, yeah, get the cops involved.
(Falstaff's Spiritual Successor, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 9:54, Reply)

I've changed my mind
Go with the Archers
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 9:57, Reply)

Do you have his next of kin info
Phone his mother up. She'll get shit sorted.

Alternatively phone AL's mum for a good cheap time
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 9:58, Reply)

Shop around for a new laptop.
You will never see him again.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 10:00, Reply)

Where did you hide the body?

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 10:03, Reply)

In my tummy.

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 10:11, Reply)

It's yours, not his.
Can you go to his old address and get a forwarding contact?

Alternatively is he on Facebook or another website where you can get him a message?

Say that you desperately need the data and can you collect it on a DVD/USB drive.

Once you have the data - and his address - you can tell him you want it back and possibly involve the law.
(Miraclefish How appropriate, you fight like a cow, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 10:00, Reply)

Good idea - just sent him a message via Linkedin.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 10:08, Reply)

I concur
As long as you can provide paperwork stating that the laptop was only his as long as he was in the company's employ, and his letter of resignation denoting that he is no longer an employee, he hasn't got a leg to stand on. I'd also make sure all the emails you've sent him asking for it back are readily at hand, along with any delivery reports you might have to prove that your emails were received.

Very decent of you to be considerate of all possibilities - he might have buggered off on holiday and be innocent of all crimes save ignorance - but if that's the case the Police will only give him a ticking off, and if it's anything more serious you need their help.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 10:00, Reply)

I have loads of paperwork, emails etc to prove it belongs to the company and I doubt he is away

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 10:07, Reply)

I say you take off, nuke the site from orbit
It's the only way to be sure
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 10:13, Reply)

A reasoned response

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 10:32, Reply)

I would go round to his old address
and see if he's left a forwarding address, failing that try next of kin if you have their details? It's entirely possible that he just doesn't realise you've been trying to get hold of him - someone who refuses to work notice on the basis of 'needing some time out' probably has some issues going on (or have fucked off on a much needed holiday) and might therefore not be getting your messages. So, make every reasonable attempt to contact him and if he doesn't, you're perfectly within your rights to report him. I'm not sure the police will be that interested though, even though it's your laptop and technically theft.
(berk, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 10:07, Reply)

I'm torn between going "aww aren't people nice and have faith in other humans"
and thinking you guys are idiots for giving this guy the benifit of the doubt when he is obviously a thieving cuntrag
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 10:11, Reply)

Aye, this.
People may move but they sure as hell don't suddenly vanish from phone and email contact at the same time. The only innocent scenario is that he's dead.
(Falstaff's Spiritual Successor, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 10:14, Reply)

I apologise for not being as cold, dead and cynical inside as you
it could be a misunderstanding. I grant you, it probably isn't and the guy is probably avoiding calls etc on purpose in the hope he'll get away with it...but it could be a misunderstanding.
(berk, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 10:31, Reply)

I think you're right about the Police - I think it's unlikely they would be interested.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 10:13, Reply)

You have to report it anyway though
Even if they do take the approach of "we'll get round to that right after we solve all the murders", if you don't report it now they'll be even less interested when you report it a few weeks down the line
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 10:20, Reply)

It's definitely worth it
on the grounds that should that laptop turn up down the line with a metric fuck-ton of kiddy porn on it, they'll have a record stating that it has been stolen from and, critically, no longer belongs to his company.

Edit: If it's metric, I suppose that'd be a fuck-tonne.
( Kroney, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 10:22, Reply)

*sigh*
ALWAYS it comes back to kiddy porn with you

Although in this instance that's actually a very good point
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 10:23, Reply)

Hm
maybe I should seek help before I end up sleeping with my sister.
( Kroney, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 10:28, Reply)

If that's a Norfolk jibe,
I'd like to point out that my sister lives in Nottingham

But two of the missus' four sisters live in Norfolk. Does that count?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 10:31, Reply)

That is an excellent point. Thanks.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 10:24, Reply)

IT Support
Not only there to stop people playing Solitaire on company time.
( Kroney, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 10:28, Reply)

I am the IT person here (worringly) and the first aid person, the fire marshall, the data protection officer and I do the washing up
It is typically known as running a small company and keeping headcount costs down. I think I am going to outsource all this IT stuff though - I would never have thought about the encryption software you mentioned.
(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 10:32, Reply)

With duties like that, you will be the last out the door when redundancies come.

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 10:37, Reply)

I think you can still call it "a metric fuck-ton"
It's only if you use it as a unit after a number "14 tonnes (fuck, for the use of)" that it needs the extra "ne" as you clarified the metric part.

*kills self*
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 10:32, Reply)

I claim all of badgers stuff

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 10:33, Reply)

I've sold the MG.
You'd be stuck with a Skoda Octavia. DIESEL.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 10:35, Reply)

You must have other better stuff?
*rummages*
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 10:44, Reply)

*coughs*
well there is that, obviously. But it's probably not much use to you if I'm dead.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 10:47, Reply)

Keep it in the species.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 10:35, Reply)

The other way of looking at it...
Is that it gives the police a very quick, simple theft to investigate and solve. Another much-needed 'solved' statistic that'll take a couple of hours for an officer.
(Miraclefish How appropriate, you fight like a cow, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 10:26, Reply)

Something to bear in mind for the future
We run encryption software on our laptops that only decrypts on a successful login. If the laptop gets nicked, it'll fail and lock it out for good. In the even of a former owner going off with it, disable their account and the second they try to get back onto the company network with it, it'll disable it.

We don't allow anyone with a laptop to save anything locally, so if they steal the laptop and don't connect it to the network, all they have is two hundred quid's worth of paperweight, they can't reformat, or reinstall Windows because they don't have admin rights to the machine and they can't steal any data as they're locked out of the network. Once the cached password details expire, the encryption software will refuse to even allow them to see the Windows loading screen until the password's changed.

I know it doesn't help you now, but it might in the future.
( Kroney, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 10:08, Reply)

That is good to know. Thanks. What is the name of the software?

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 10:12, Reply)

The one we use
is called Utimaco. It's a complete pig to administer, but very effective. Perhaps a little too effective, the amount of unlocks I have to do.
( Kroney, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 10:14, Reply)

Having been involved with a similar system when I worked "in the real world"
I'd suggest that if your company is too small to happily write off a laptop it's probably way too small for it to be worth it to run something like that.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 10:33, Reply)

It is mainly the data and the fact that our cap-ex budget is spent for this year.
Our margins on the work we do are good - I just re-invest most of this back in to the company to fund growth.
(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 10:37, Reply)

Like Kroney says - these things are a cunt to administer.
You might need to employ a new IT admin just for that. It's about the size more than anything. Unless you've got heading to 100 staff who all use remote login on work laptops I'd not bother. But then my experience is going back about 8 years.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 10:39, Reply)

It'd definitely be worth
removing admin rights to the laptops, though. Restrict them from saving stuff locally and you stop them stealing business.
( Kroney, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 10:38, Reply)

Been there and done that.
It massively pisses off staff in a small company. It basically says "fuck you, I've employed you but that doesn't mean I trust you"

It does depend on how "adult" your staff are, but IME it just created a situation where a bunch of staff thought that we valued the computing equipment more than them. Not a good situation in a small company.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 10:41, Reply)

My colleagues will be amongst the first to tell you
that I'm a bit jackboot in my approach to these things. In response, I'd say screw the staff, it's my job to protect the company's business, not their feelings.

Which is why I'm in a monolithic corporation, of course.
( Kroney, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 10:51, Reply)

I don't think you're wrong.
But in a company of 20-30 people, most of whom had PhDs, sometimes maintaining a pleasant working environment is more important than the occasional disappearing laptop ;)
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 10:56, Reply)

I guess that would depend
on what's potentially on the laptop :P
( Kroney, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 11:00, Reply)

Can you not wipe the CMOS using the onboard jumpers
and reinstall windows?
( Peej, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 10:28, Reply)

and what does that mean in English?

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 10:29, Reply)

CMOS
Is a sort of onboard memory for the system board, it keeps everything that you set in BIOS (which is a system board program for various different things, including what the machine looks at first when it boots up). Now assuming that by default the machine looks at the CD-ROM drive first at boot-up you could in theory pull the jumpers, clear CMOS, insert a Windows disc and reinstall Windows. Not all of them do have the CD-ROM set as the first boot device by default, though, and even if they did, you'd have to wipe the partition the data's on to get full use of the harddrive back. If you didn't, you'd just have a second partition on the drive that you couldn't access because you still don't have admin privileges.

*breathes*
( Kroney, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 10:46, Reply)

Possibly
but you'd have to be pretty knowledgeable to do that. I think, though, that clearing CMOS just resets BIOS.
( Kroney, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 10:32, Reply)

Yup and where else are they going to store passwords to stop people reinstalling windows?
And where else can you change the CD rom as first boot device.
( Peej, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 11:56, Reply)

indeed
b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post899030
( Kroney, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 12:02, Reply)

Yes but you say that this presumes the PC looks at the CD rom drive first
If you reset the CMOS the bios is then open wide for you to go in and change that.
( Peej, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 12:43, Reply)

I also said that
you'd have to delete the partition with the data on it or put up with a computer with a partly encrypted hard drive.
( Kroney, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 12:47, Reply)

Leave a message on his phone saying you need it back and don't want to, but will go to the police in a few days if he doesn't contact you.
Then er, wait a few days for him to contact you before ringing the cozzers.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 10:15, Reply)

This sounds like a job for the A-Team

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 10:20, Reply)

But can he find them?

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 10:23, Reply)

The internet knows, if Battered's tale has any merit they soon will be in contact
Seriously though it's just another employee fucking off with a works lappy as a 'leaving present'.
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 10:27, Reply)

It is, but we are a small business so I could do without the cost of replacing it. The data is the most important part though.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 10:29, Reply)

Yeah he most likely doesn't know.care about the info you need
and is ignoring your emailas as soon as he sees they're from you. Maybe send him something from a remote account - claim to be contacting him on behalf of the Bank of Nigeria, everyone reads those emails
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 10:29, Reply)

Maybe Chuck Norris?

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 10:24, Reply)

The cunt has fucked you over
It sounds like he's gone into the undergrowth, you'll never hear from him again. Is it even worth your while expending time with the police over a nicked lappy; probably not, given that they don't give a shit in the first instance.
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 10:31, Reply)

If...
...you can find them, and no-one else can help.
( HSDriver was probably still at work on, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 10:25, Reply)

Facebook,
everyone has facebook just send him a mail saying you need the data from the laptop.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 10:25, Reply)

I have sent a message via Linkedin.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 10:26, Reply)

Meh who checks that everyday?

(PsychoChomp, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 10:27, Reply)

Linkedin emails you to let you know you've "got mail"

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 10:28, Reply)

Hang about
Are Glastonbury tickets on sale already?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 10:28, Reply)

not any more
my friend offered me one, but it's far too hardcore for me, so i said no. there's no five star bathroom!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 10:29, Reply)

I refuse to pay £220+ to spend a weekend in a muddy field at Glastonbury.
When I can pay £180 to spend a weekend in a muddy field at Download!
(Miraclefish How appropriate, you fight like a cow, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 10:32, Reply)

i thought it would be wasted on me
so i'm paying for it and she'll give it to her sister who's also a good friend and who has zero cash and has been a bit ill recently. saves me having to think of a more imaginative birthday present!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 10:35, Reply)

Huzzah!

(Miraclefish How appropriate, you fight like a cow, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 10:35, Reply)

Eh? it's £195

(PsychoChomp, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 10:35, Reply)

Been and gone on sunday
I spent 4 hours trying to get them, no dice.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 10:30, Reply)

Fucking hell
That's both surprising and disappointing, I thought they usually went on sale about February time. Although I am disenchanted with the prospect of an outdoor festival until the British summer returns from its prolonged absence
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 10:33, Reply)

You have to pay off the whole lot in february,
the £50 deposit has to go down early october.
there's resales and so on which may mean I can get a ticket but if not I'm going to www.szigetfest.co.uk/
(PsychoChomp, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 10:34, Reply)

I'm sure Darth is right
you used to have until the start of February to register and then get tickets when they went on sale at the end of the month. Or at least - that's how it was the year I did it, but I couldn't afford it in the end. I'm sure this year was unusually early.
Sziget does look awesome though.
(berk, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 10:42, Reply)

There
is a re-release around that time. I was trying from 8am (hitting the site even though the box office didn't open until 9am i think) but they were gone by about 11.15.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 10:46, Reply)

Monty doesn't
He can steal whatever he likes to sell to buy MASSIVE DRUGS
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 10:28, Reply)

how did you pay him?
if you have his bank account details and old address, an enquiry agent could trace him v quickly. only thing is, they might be as much money as a new laptop (my guy charges about £250 for a subject trace).
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 10:30, Reply)

This isn't about money it's about principals!
And the data probably
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 10:32, Reply)

It is the data mainly.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 10:34, Reply)

Yeah, I don't see what the headmaster has to do with it.

(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 10:37, Reply)

Bravo.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 10:39, Reply)

You're getting fewer funny every day

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 10:42, Reply)

This would be more enjoyable if I had a comeback with which to wind you up in equal measure
(And I've already used up the "thinking outside the box" joke...)
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 10:46, Reply)

I'm in the wrong business.
I could do that from my desk.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 10:32, Reply)

do you have a flasher mac and a torch?
if so i have plenty of disappearing debtors you can trace for me, client has said up to £1,000 each, plus expenses.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 10:36, Reply)

How many and how good is the info you've already got?
hmmm, should I have a licence before I do that sort of thing.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 10:38, Reply)

If Totach is anything to go by,
you'd be a fool to pass up £1000 for five minutes' work.
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 10:39, Reply)

Not everyone's as stupid as the lovely Totach
but it would basically involve going round a bunch of websites and paying £5-£10 each for credit data, electral role stuff, land registry info, company house info.
Just a bit of legwork definatly worth £1k.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 10:44, Reply)

I'm quite interested in this.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 10:45, Reply)

this tits
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 10:46, Reply)

I like breasts.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 10:48, Reply)

Well hello there!

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 10:48, Reply)

I'll look into it and see if there's any major hurdles.
Honestly though, I had to do the same thing for my letting agent and it took me just over an hour.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 10:48, Reply)

I've always been adept at searching.
I thought of setting up a text answering service about three years before these existing ones started. Plus, for that kind of money, travel expenses to go fishing around someone's locality aren't out of the question either.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 10:56, Reply)

yes
for my clients you would, i tend to use people who are members of the british association of private investigators.

but as a second career, at £250-upwards a search most of which they do on companies house or the land registry anyway, you could earn a lot.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 10:43, Reply)

Hmm, that's £165 a year to become affilliated.
I'll have to read the policy here about second incomes and think about it.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 10:47, Reply)

you wouldn't have to be affiliated as a requirement of law
but if you wanted to pimp yourself out to law firms etc, it would be a useful selling point. our guys do everything from online tracing to actual physical stalking, then they just prepare brief reports. they also serve papers on people - money for jam that is. wait outside their front door. give them an envelope. submit a bill for £250.

i guess it's something you could research with a view to learning more about it - if it worked out well, it would rapidly become primary not secondary income anyway.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 10:59, Reply)

I paid him by electronic transfer so I do have his account details. Great idea. Ta.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 10:34, Reply)

Is the laptop insured?
1. Go to the feds
2. Get a crime reference number
3. Call your insurance
4. ...
5. Profit!
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 10:38, Reply)

It's the data that's the problem,
and hardly any small companies insure for data loss.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 10:40, Reply)

Then he also needs a firm and foolproof data backup policy.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 10:41, Reply)

I am now setting up automatic back up to Dropbox. We don't have insurance for data loss but I am going to look into it.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 10:45, Reply)

And the excess on small company (or large company, for that matter)
business insurance is "considerably more than a laptop" - it was £5K at my last company and it's £10K at the Uni I work at.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 10:45, Reply)

It's not the laptop he needs
But the client data on it.

I say you hire some freelance secret agents!
(Miraclefish How appropriate, you fight like a cow, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 10:40, Reply)

Hold on, are you saying it's the data he needs, not the hardware?

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 10:41, Reply)

I need both.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 10:45, Reply)

So, you've worked with the guy for 9 months.
If you can't contact him, what else do you know about him? Where's his local pub. Family? Met his other half? Think, man, THINK!
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 10:46, Reply)

He was living in a small village near East Grinstead, is divorced with an ex-wife in Putney, has no girlfriend and is estranged from his family. His best mate is the editor of a tabloid newspaper and thats about all I know.
He's a bit of a dullard so I tended to switch off on the rare occasions he mentioned anything personal.
(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 10:56, Reply)

Shame.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 10:57, Reply)

So, what are your options?

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 10:58, Reply)

My plan is
Send him notification today via email, Linkedin and the post (to his old address in case he has re-direction in place) that he has until noon on Monday to return the equipment to the office. My message/letter also says:

He will be given a receipt for the machine when he returns it.

Failure to return the machine by this deadline will be considered to be theft from the company and this will result in me contacting the police.

Should he return the machine and it is damaged or has missing data then this will be viewed as negligence and/or malicious behaviour. I will be forced to take legal action if this is the case.
(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 11:10, Reply)

Rape his gran.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 11:01, Reply)

^this, harder than Gary Glitter in Mothercare

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 11:05, Reply)