You went wrong with your subject line*
Things did not improve thereafter.

UR gay

1/10


*I had not read Rachel's identical assessment. Good girl. Bad Broadsword.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 10:51, 3 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Can we have nice Monty back please

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 10:52, Reply)

Nice Monty was a made up character,
I have killed him off.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 10:53, Reply)

If only getting rid of Bobby was so easy

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 10:55, Reply)

he's back at uni now
we're halfway there
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 10:57, Reply)

He's not, you know.
He's sawn up into pieces, stuffed into a suitcase and currently at the bottom of a reservoir near Bracknell.

I had a good Sunday.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 10:59, Reply)

you are my hero

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 11:00, Reply)

Not that good, if you had to go near Bracknell.

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 11:01, Reply)

I thought it a fittingly horrid place for him to end up.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 11:22, Reply)

No.
I like the grumpy one more.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 10:54, Reply)

hello sexy
how was your weekend?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 10:52, Reply)

Fucking marvellous, thank you.
I am told I shall have television and broadband restored by tonight, too.

All's well in Montyland.

You?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 10:53, Reply)

band sword.

It doesn't make sense but I wanted to do it anyway.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 10:54, Reply)

Story of your life.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 10:54, Reply)

that's certainly what she thinks about me

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 10:56, Reply)

that makes me fun
and you miserable.

No one is allowed to replace fun with annoying.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 10:57, Reply)

Did you catch up with your
Mother and enjoy a granny and daughter day?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 10:54, Reply)

Yes - it went swimmingly,
then I ended up at my cousin's wedding party in Clapham (I had to take my passport). Free bar - great joy, ill-advised MD purchase on way home.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 10:56, Reply)

When was the last time a MD purchase was well advised?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 10:58, Reply)

Most of them, by my reckoning.
Actually this one was too, in its own way, as I could hardly see when I picked up, and within a minutes was 'back on the horse' having a cheeky beer.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 11:01, Reply)

You have issues.
Drink less, don't do MD.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 11:04, Reply)

Yes I do.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 11:05, Reply)

Did your daughter have a good weekend?
(Just to move away from a MD conversation).
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 11:09, Reply)

She certainly did, thanks.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 11:23, Reply)

I thought for a second meant "We started out in Clapham but we were going to some other exotic location, which required a passport to access"
I was a little confused for a while.

Morning, m'liege.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 10:59, Reply)

Wotcha cocker.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 11:01, Reply)

My friends refer to "em dee em may" as "MD"
It makes me smile a little. But certainly not touch the stuff- the 4 hours of feeling normal is not worth the three day crushing despair.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 11:03, Reply)

I've been retired from that shit for fucking years
save a very minor dabble at KRS1 - that alone was sufficient to depress the hell out of me in the following days.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 11:05, Reply)

I think it's better for everyone I've ever known if I avoid drugs.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 11:09, Reply)

and alcohol
and going out
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 11:12, Reply)

I for the most part avoid alcohol.
It's rare for me to drink more than once in a week, it's usually 3-4 times a month.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 11:14, Reply)

gawd

( broadsword, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 11:08, Reply)

lyk, oh em geeee

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 11:10, Reply)

yes thank you mein lieb
great weekend and a nice week coming up. although i have to throw 30 gypsies out of a site in west london today, they kindly moved in over the weekend... anyone got a match and some petrol?!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 10:55, Reply)

gypsies or gypos?

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 10:56, Reply)

Have you made any more progress with Pawn Stars TGB?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 10:59, Reply)

Yes I have watched all of season 1
and am 11 episodes into season 2
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 11:03, Reply)

That is mental.
You've only been watching it for a few days!

(Favourite purchase so far?)
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 11:05, Reply)

It's only half an hour! (and season one was only about 9 episodes or something)
and I watch it on my phone when I'm bored.

I like all the stuff that people are convinced are worth millions and they're fakes
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 11:07, Reply)

That's one of my favourite bits as well.
I also like it when one of Rick's 'buddies' appraises something, says 'it'll easily make 20k in auction' and the bloke selling it asks for 20k, gets offered a fiver and rather than putting it in an auction, takes shit money.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 11:10, Reply)

Rick said auction houses take 40%?
I'd probably prefer cash in hand.
Chumlee making that wine was also HILLARIOUS
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 11:11, Reply)

There is an episode you won't have seen yet
Where Chumless gets a Bob Dylan album signed. That made me laugh.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 11:14, Reply)

Chumlee
smashing a display case with a ball and chain also hillarous
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 11:19, Reply)

i don't know yet
the bailiffs will find out shortly. hoorah, squatters actions are always good fun.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 11:02, Reply)

What is the difference between Gypsies and people squatting?
(That's a question, not 'half' a joke).
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 11:06, Reply)

Gypsies are Romany people: a specific racial group.
Squatters are merely people illegally occupying land or property.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 11:14, Reply)

Get all 'Harry Brown' on them
I saw that last night, loved it.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 11:17, Reply)

It's pretty good isn't it?
Bit 'close to home' for me though - I recognised one or two locations as being not far from my house.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 11:21, Reply)

Elephant and Castle, innit
I thought Michael Caine was brilliant in it, and I'm glad that they didn't make him all superhero, kept him physically frail but mentally sharp as a razor.
That Plan B fella was good as the main cunt too.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 11:24, Reply)

The canal scenes were on the Regent's Canal near New North Road,
I am almost certain.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 11:30, Reply)

I really liked it although it was sad
and a bit scary
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 11:22, Reply)

Are you talking about me, here?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 11:24, Reply)

if the ultra rare classic 90s bollocks whatever shoe fits

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 11:25, Reply)

The first 20-30 mins is proper heart-breaking stuff

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 11:25, Reply)

yeah I found the stabbing to be really quite disturbing
and it made me realise that I take the piss out of chavs for being losers but I think I take for granted the fact that the chavs I come into contact with are all bark and no bite.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 11:27, Reply)

Exactly
I'm very sheltered from all that 'round here, god knows how I'd cope if I had to live there. Worse than prison.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 11:29, Reply)

Them: give us yer wallet
you: Oh certainly, would you also like my watch?
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 11:55, Reply)

If someone pulls a knife on me
They can have whatever items on me they want.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 11:56, Reply)

Ooh can I help?
That sounds right up my street.

Fucking gyp-rocs.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 11:02, Reply)

i don't think they are going voluntarily
could you shoot them off?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 11:06, Reply)

I most certainly could.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 11:13, Reply)

Dear Mr Boyce
I put it to you that the subject line was placed ironically and your lack of understanding makes you a shit-aaaah.

Respectfully,
broadsword
( broadsword, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 10:54, Reply)

Are you Mark E Smith?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 10:54, Reply)

Do you want me to be?

( broadsword, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 10:57, Reply)

It's up to you, really.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 11:03, Reply)

I'll be honest
I'm just killing time until the drugs wear off
( broadsword, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 11:06, Reply)

Lol.

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 11:25, Reply)

Lol-ahh

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 11:29, Reply)

Did you ever see Mark E reading the football scores on TV?
A surreal moment that is well worth mixing in to live DJ sets.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=EBUiPs1PxKo
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 11:58, Reply)

Singing your favourite songs , or old standards, using the vocal stylings of Mark E Smith
is as much fun as you can have without doing something that's actually fun, and helps the time fly by when you've got nothing to do.
(Cave Duck, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 12:00, Reply)

It also gives a great twist to lullabies.
(Especially if one adds an unrelated rant about East German athletes.)
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 12:12, Reply)