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(I helped save b3ta! rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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I think the sexiest thing in the world is when a man cooks for you rather than take you out for a meal.
Even if he's not a great cook.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 14:46, 5 replies, latest was 15 years ago)
as with playing guitar
being able to cook well has never helped me with women.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 14:48, Reply)
you get massive points for cooking and guitar
but sometimes someone is just too ugly.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 14:50, Reply)
charming

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 14:51, Reply)
I'm trying to think what of my "talents" would help me get men.
Sadly all I can think of is "mental", "lightweight [booze]", "heavyweight [fatty]" and "has command of 2 ancient languages".

The latter has been used to ask someone out, LOL.
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 14:50, Reply)
command of two ancient languages would work on me

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 14:52, Reply)
me pedice, ingens puer ;)

(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 14:53, Reply)
my foot, something boy?

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 14:55, Reply)
Fuck me up the arse, big boy.
futuere volo qualem bestia :)
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 14:57, Reply)
are you sure it wasn't something about feet?
edit: I reckon it would work as well. Assuming you can speak them as well, and don't have an awful voice.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 14:57, Reply)
pes pedis - foot
pedico - bugger
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 14:58, Reply)
I am certain that knowledge will come in handy

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 15:01, Reply)
Yup.
It's called a false friend. Words that look quite similar. Like vir and vis (which goes to virem etc) which mean totally different things. It gets confusing.
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 15:02, Reply)
which is the other language?

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 15:06, Reply)
Hmm?
Those are both Latin words. You can tell if it's Greek as it looks like τουτος
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 15:08, Reply)
I wasn't referring to the stuff you'd posted
was asking what other language you have command of. In hindsight I didn't ask it very well!
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 15:21, Reply)
You should have guessed by that word that it's Ancient Greek.

(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 15:40, Reply)
I know that after you posted some greek script :-P
give me some credit!
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 15:41, Reply)

languages prostitutes
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 14:53, Reply)
I prefered Dr Mengele.

(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 14:55, Reply)
That is my gentle alter ego.

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 14:56, Reply)
What's this one then?

(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 15:01, Reply)
I am releasing my inner child.
as he is locked in the cellar
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 15:33, Reply)
Never undestimate the power of "lightweight [booze]"

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 14:56, Reply)
You are referring to the 'cheap date/sex probabilty' factor.

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 14:58, Reply)
I'm a pretty cheap date.
Well, I would be, if anyone took me out on one.
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 15:05, Reply)
It is probably fear of being punched.

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 15:34, Reply)
The power behind my fists, I imagine.

(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 15:05, Reply)
I am aware of the need to duck and weave whenever I'm talking to you now,
so I should be fine. You, on the other hand, may get seasick.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 15:26, Reply)
I have no talents
which is why I am single
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 14:59, Reply)
If I remember right, you have at least two.

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 15:26, Reply)
Well having seen you and having been informed of your many talents......I'm stumped for an answer.
Sorry!
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 14:51, Reply)
I'm just fundamentally unlovable

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 14:52, Reply)
We should start our own self-help group.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 14:54, Reply)
Perfect combination
but going out is boss too
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 14:55, Reply)
Why has my thread turned into some fucking dating thread.
VOUCHERS YES OR NO
(PsychoChomp, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 14:49, Reply)
YES!
FREE STUFF YAY!
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 14:50, Reply)
Correct

(PsychoChomp, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 14:54, Reply)
so when's our date?
*puts on make up and perfume*
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 15:00, Reply)
7:30 tonight
Near the thearter. My mate Jonny will be there as well.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 15:04, Reply)
I don't get this
but I know enough to be frightened.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 15:15, Reply)
Johnny is his hammer's name.

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 15:27, Reply)
You shouldn't you'll like him.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 15:27, Reply)
Here he is!

(Zoz prayed for twink on, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 15:31, Reply)
NO

(I helped save b3ta! Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 14:50, Reply)
Actually, in the latest episode of Glee
they have a voucher-on-a-date debate.

Life is strangely cyclical.
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 14:51, Reply)
I'm sure he got the idea from Glee.

(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 13 Oct 2010, 14:53, Reply)
Glee != Life

(PsychoChomp, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 14:53, Reply)
Omg YESSSSS
my faveeee caracter is artie hes sooooo cuuuute!!11!1
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 14:54, Reply)
You are Darth Foxtrot
AICMFP
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 14:56, Reply)
No, my girlfriend's hotter

(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 14:57, Reply)
No comment.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 14:52, Reply)
General Meal? Yes.
For a date? No.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 14:53, Reply)
I think it's a bit scary for a first date
I think neutral grounds for a first date are better than going to someone's house. Although that's mostly because it's much harder to make a sharp exit from someone's house than it is from a restaurant.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 14:49, Reply)
^ woman makes sense ^

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 14:51, Reply)
and it's ladies week as well, are you impressed by my rationality?

(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 15:04, Reply)
Yes. Please give my gf lessons - she's gone mental this week whilst being up on blocks.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 15:08, Reply)
Do what I did
Picked her up from work with a 'Share Size' bar of Galaxy sticking out the glove box for her.
I know full well I won't see any of that chocolate.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 15:08, Reply)
I will try this. Ta.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 15:11, Reply)
I don't think I get any more mental around this time
I just cry at things like a single apple being by itself in the supermarket and no one wants to buy it because it's bruised. I've made myself sad now.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 15:16, Reply)
Most months she's fine. This month she's a mentalist.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 15:19, Reply)
maybe there's a different problem then
and ladies week is just compounding it
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 15:22, Reply)
I think you may be correct and will try to talk to her tonight over a nice meal.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 15:25, Reply)
She's bloody lucky to have you.
Keep reminding her. That will help. *sniggers*
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 15:26, Reply)
she's certainly bloody
oh god I just made a period joke. I hate myself.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 15:59, Reply)
My ex was 'difficult' when Liverpool were playing at home
Chocolate started off as a good solution, before she decided that all I was trying to do was make her fat.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 15:22, Reply)
Specially
If he's only wearing his apron?
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 13 Oct 2010, 14:52, Reply)
Not sure about that.
I would be worried about a stray pube hair getting in the food.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 14:53, Reply)
What if
he's all trimmed and well groomed?
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 13 Oct 2010, 14:54, Reply)
THIS

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 14:55, Reply)
I'm glad you like the idea
I thought I was weird, but it's only BGB the one being weird.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 13 Oct 2010, 14:59, Reply)
It just doesn't appeal.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 14:56, Reply)
What's wrong with you??????!!!!!!?????!!!!

(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 13 Oct 2010, 14:59, Reply)
I just don't think it's hygenic.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 15:04, Reply)
if things went right you'd be about to stick his knob in your mouth anyway

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 15:08, Reply)
Exactly

(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 13 Oct 2010, 15:13, Reply)
I don't like food sex
the sex gets in the way.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 15:05, Reply)
^this

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 15:12, Reply)
Bit forward for a first date, no?

(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 14:53, Reply)
You obviously don't know
about the Naked Man strategy.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 13 Oct 2010, 14:54, Reply)
the Naked Man is a brilliant strategy

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 14:56, Reply)
Have you tried it yet?
2oo3!
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 13 Oct 2010, 14:58, Reply)
only on Mrs V
but it still worked.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 14:59, Reply)
Really?
On a first date?

I tried on Mark, but of course it worked. It works even when I'm still dressed.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 13 Oct 2010, 15:01, Reply)
naa, we didn't really date
I just fell out of one relationship into another, via a vast quantity of wine.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 15:03, Reply)
Oh, what a great story
And then you just got naked and tried?
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 13 Oct 2010, 15:03, Reply)
we each do it occasionally
one of you will walk into a room and the other will be in there naked so you go "all right then" and get to it.

if you are really interested, the full story of what I summarised above is here www.b3ta.com/questions/guiltysecrets/post88822
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 15:05, Reply)
That's a beautiful story
(it took some time reading)

I'm glad it worked out ok.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 13 Oct 2010, 15:21, Reply)
me too.
most stressful time of my life.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 15:23, Reply)
I can imagine
(in fact, I went through something similar myself)

So 3 years together... any thoughts about kids?
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 13 Oct 2010, 15:26, Reply)
it's 6 years now
we're engaged, and we're not having kids. Neither of us want them.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 15:31, Reply)

try the 'other' hole, mate
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 15:47, Reply)
way ahead of you

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 16:01, Reply)
Clearly I do not
Explain?
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 14:56, Reply)
You need more HIMYM

(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 13 Oct 2010, 14:58, Reply)
Invite a chick back
wait for her to leave the room
get naked
when she comes back *jazz hands*
(PsychoChomp, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 15:02, Reply)
Decide a pose before she arrives back
The 'Burt Reynolds' is clearly the best
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 15:08, Reply)
I favour the 'Terry Thomas'....
...leaning on the mantlepiece, wearing a smoking jacket and holding a brandy.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 15:46, Reply)

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