I put it to you that social networking has complicated relationships
I only just realised that whatever I update my status with on arsebook is now going to appear like it is to do with break-up and/or seem incredibly insensitive.

What would be the most inappropriate thing to have as a status for various tricky situations?

alt q: will gravy be nice on fishfingers?
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 26 Oct 2010, 18:32, 63 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

You can hide those
notifications. I always have done; makes it easier for both parties.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Tue 26 Oct 2010, 18:36, Reply)

I never changed status in the first place
I mean, whatever crap you write in that status thing to sound hilarious/deep/like a twat
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 26 Oct 2010, 18:40, Reply)

Since we're on the subject of relationships
I put it to you that knocking over a bottle of undiluted squash and the resulting "wet nob, sticky trousers" status may not go down well.
( Kroney, Tue 26 Oct 2010, 18:36, Reply)

hahaha!
I sincerely hope this happened.
(Zoz prayed for twink on, Tue 26 Oct 2010, 18:50, Reply)

REBOUND REBOUND REBOUND !

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 26 Oct 2010, 18:37, Reply)

i am so tempted to put this, but I think he's a bit upset

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 26 Oct 2010, 18:44, Reply)

He dumped you and he's a bit upset?

( girlinthehole, Tue 26 Oct 2010, 18:46, Reply)

um, yeah
i think more so than me.
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 26 Oct 2010, 18:47, Reply)

is he crazy?

( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 26 Oct 2010, 18:48, Reply)

no, a little green, perhaps
also, great thing about geeks is they are more likely to use the phrase 'cognitive dissonance' in an explanation as to why you are breaking up
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 26 Oct 2010, 18:50, Reply)

how is that great? I don't even know what that means

( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 26 Oct 2010, 18:53, Reply)

Cognitive: to do with thinking, thoughts
Dissonance: disagreement, not in phase
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Tue 26 Oct 2010, 18:54, Reply)

I thought it was sweet

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 26 Oct 2010, 18:57, Reply)

when he was breaking up with you?

( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 26 Oct 2010, 19:08, Reply)

perhaps in retrospect

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 26 Oct 2010, 19:09, Reply)

he sounds like a twat
you may have feelings for him still, but what sort of wanker is going to break up with you and act all upset about it?
does he want you to feel bad for him? fuck that
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 26 Oct 2010, 19:16, Reply)

That's a bit weird.

( girlinthehole, Tue 26 Oct 2010, 18:49, Reply)

Is you ex a woman?
Mental behaviour of this variety is what I'd expect from a woman.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 26 Oct 2010, 19:11, Reply)

That's quite tame though
It could be "xyz just had a rebound threesome".
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Tue 26 Oct 2010, 18:46, Reply)

You could put that, then we could all 'like' it, then reply 'Aww Diddums' and 'Guuuuted' when he throws a wobbly.
That'll really piss him off.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 26 Oct 2010, 18:50, Reply)

possibly why I don't have you guys on my friend list :)

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 26 Oct 2010, 18:52, Reply)

Also probably a reason why you should add me, but then block me from posting on anything of yours.
But if you go as far as blocking me from seeing those photos of you on holiday in marbaya in a onesy, then I might refuse the friend request.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 26 Oct 2010, 18:54, Reply)

yup
loads of pictures like that, my facebook pictures are not full of photos of me as a pirate. Nope, not me
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 26 Oct 2010, 19:08, Reply)

Do you have a peg leg? God, I love women with peg legs, just think about all that wodden texture.
What kind of wood is it? I think different types of wood are good for verious skin complextions, but a good old mayple would be best for most women. It's a good solid wood, great marbling. I love a women with a solid hardy bit of wood.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 26 Oct 2010, 19:33, Reply)

where's that panderbot?

( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 26 Oct 2010, 19:35, Reply)

Out to lunch.
alt q: I think you already know the answer to that.
( girlinthehole, Tue 26 Oct 2010, 18:37, Reply)

Gonna find out in about 7 minutes

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 26 Oct 2010, 18:41, Reply)

actually it's pretty good

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 26 Oct 2010, 18:57, Reply)

I said new M&S cola tasted of cot death.
Some of my family weren't amused.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 26 Oct 2010, 18:38, Reply)

Really? I can't think why they wouldn't be amused with that
I said something last night about how something had made me wish I was dead, in front of a friend whose gran just died.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Tue 26 Oct 2010, 18:39, Reply)

I accidently called my nephew a spakka the other day.
Then spent half an hour telling him never to call anyone that because it's not nice.
( girlinthehole, Tue 26 Oct 2010, 18:39, Reply)

You spaz.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 26 Oct 2010, 18:41, Reply)

too much time on here
does not do well for real life
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 26 Oct 2010, 18:42, Reply)

hahaha
I get the occasional friend request from my dad. One day he will learn that things I post on facebook are not for his eyes.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 26 Oct 2010, 18:45, Reply)

I like how facebook keeps telling me to
talk to my uncle. He died 6 months ago. Freaky machine echoes
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 26 Oct 2010, 18:49, Reply)

I like that Red Bull cola
Nobody else seems to and I'm afraid it'll be discontinued.

On the subject of inappropriate remarks via facebook: a guy I know once made a comment apologising for fucking his friend's mum's brains out. She was in hospital recovering from a brain haemorrhage at the time.
(Zoz prayed for twink on, Tue 26 Oct 2010, 18:52, Reply)

that is an impressive faux pas!
what are the chances?
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 26 Oct 2010, 19:07, Reply)

It was deliberate
He has an odd sense of humour.
(Zoz prayed for twink on, Tue 26 Oct 2010, 19:13, Reply)

It's clearly not going to taste good
Also, gravy does not go well with pasta. I tried it once, and my pasta melted.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Tue 26 Oct 2010, 18:44, Reply)

battery acid does not belong in gravy

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 26 Oct 2010, 18:45, Reply)

Gravy? Fishfingers?
Are you.

1/ Northern?
2/ Suffering with any sort of mental illness?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 26 Oct 2010, 18:45, Reply)

yes

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 26 Oct 2010, 18:45, Reply)

Then you'll love it.
EDIT: www.youtube.com/watch?v=8JFFMxTOsyA
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 26 Oct 2010, 18:52, Reply)

alt q: fuck no
that would be fucking horrible
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 26 Oct 2010, 18:45, Reply)

beginning to regret my choice of tea
perhaps I could just eat vegetables and fish fingers and not have the gravy, but I haven't had gravy in ages and I really wanted some
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 26 Oct 2010, 18:46, Reply)

Just have the gravy in a mug
And drink it.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Tue 26 Oct 2010, 18:48, Reply)

after telling a friend I liked them I'm now afraid to post anything romantic related in fear that her or her girlfriend will think I'm talking about her
alt: ew
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 26 Oct 2010, 18:50, Reply)

Just go for it, post what you want
Whatever will be will be, and all sorts of crap like that.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Tue 26 Oct 2010, 18:57, Reply)

The more you post, the less people will read things into what you are, or aren't saying.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 26 Oct 2010, 19:03, Reply)

maybe I should write "I'M JUST LISTENING TO THIS SONG, DON'T MEAN IT TO BE ABOUT YOU" before I post anything
or just not post anything at all
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 26 Oct 2010, 19:07, Reply)

or just go for it with
"I totally told ___I fancied her. From now on, all posts are NOTHING to do with this"
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 26 Oct 2010, 19:09, Reply)

hahahaha

( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 26 Oct 2010, 19:17, Reply)

Do that.
It's the most rational thing to do!

Failing that, just post things as you did before. I'm sure it'll be fine.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 26 Oct 2010, 19:10, Reply)

yeah, I don't care anymore really
just creeps into the back of my mind sometimes
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 26 Oct 2010, 19:17, Reply)

things into , or aren't
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 26 Oct 2010, 20:38, Reply)

"Oops, butterwomb!"

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Tue 26 Oct 2010, 19:12, Reply)

Well, this is pretty much as inappropriate as you can get I think
Hearty congratulations.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Tue 26 Oct 2010, 19:16, Reply)

I think I have found my next sig.
click
( willenium Fist bump for verification, Tue 26 Oct 2010, 19:17, Reply)

This is why I dont have family on facebook
also since I don't check fb at work I spent a few days with "Willenium..has AIDS!" for a few days after a Fraping
( willenium Fist bump for verification, Tue 26 Oct 2010, 19:17, Reply)

I mainly use the status update tool to insult queers, blacks and Jews.

(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Tue 26 Oct 2010, 19:27, Reply)

PAPA JOHNS ANY PIZZA ANY SIZE £9.99 OH MEGOSHNESS !

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 26 Oct 2010, 19:57, Reply)

I'm never ordering Papa Johns again.
Got a pizza round someone's house yonks back and they don't stop texting me now, making me think I'm popular before I read the message.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Tue 26 Oct 2010, 20:02, Reply)

Buy one get one half price at my local Pizza Pizza
which means a 9" Capricciosa and a 9" Mixed Grill and a garlic dip for £6.20.

I should not have eaten both.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 26 Oct 2010, 20:40, Reply)