I'm here, as ever
I have cake and a book, and am pretty much content. Hows your cold, Jeff?
(berk, Wed 27 Oct 2010, 20:05, 1 reply, 15 years ago)

I'm dead snotty.
And feel rotten.

However, on balance, I'd be well enough to send a text-message if I needed to.

What sort of cake do you have?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 27 Oct 2010, 20:06, Reply)

There's alot of that going around lately

( willenium Fist bump for verification, Wed 27 Oct 2010, 20:08, Reply)

Cake?

( girlinthehole, Wed 27 Oct 2010, 20:09, Reply)

I like cake.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 27 Oct 2010, 20:12, Reply)

Good!
I don't trust men who don't like cake.
( girlinthehole, Wed 27 Oct 2010, 20:13, Reply)

Battenburg?

( willenium Fist bump for verification, Wed 27 Oct 2010, 20:15, Reply)

Probably.

( girlinthehole, Wed 27 Oct 2010, 20:16, Reply)

I like most cake.
I can't think of any cake I DON'T like.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 27 Oct 2010, 20:15, Reply)

My favorite is vanilla cheesecake.

( girlinthehole, Wed 27 Oct 2010, 20:17, Reply)

Does Key Lime Pie count?
It's got all the attributes of cake but it's called pie.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Wed 27 Oct 2010, 20:19, Reply)

I've never tried it.

( girlinthehole, Wed 27 Oct 2010, 20:24, Reply)

Sounds good though.
Because it's DESERT! (Or 'afters' if you're poor).
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 27 Oct 2010, 20:26, Reply)

Or "pudding" if you were raised properly

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Wed 27 Oct 2010, 20:33, Reply)

Or 'dessert' if you can spell

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 27 Oct 2010, 21:26, Reply)

Better than sex
(well it is at the moment anyway...)
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Wed 27 Oct 2010, 20:26, Reply)

I have come to the conclusion that nothing is better than sex.

( girlinthehole, Wed 27 Oct 2010, 20:28, Reply)

I've got nothing instead of sex
Not the same, is it?
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Wed 27 Oct 2010, 20:29, Reply)

Not really.

( girlinthehole, Wed 27 Oct 2010, 20:36, Reply)

So it's me and the Key Lime Pie then
They don't have a sex counter at Sainsbury's.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Wed 27 Oct 2010, 20:40, Reply)

They should.

( girlinthehole, Wed 27 Oct 2010, 20:45, Reply)

Morrison's HQ is on my way to work
I might call in one morning and suggest it.

Although Morrison's Supervalue sex doesn't sound appealling.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Wed 27 Oct 2010, 20:48, Reply)

Supervalue sex
this reminds me of something that happened to a mate of mine - he was walking home from the busstop when he was offered some 'business'; he wasn't interested but the woman was quite persistent. Eventually he told her 'look, I don't even have enough money for the bus, that's why I'm walking', she asked him how much he had and he said 'About £1.50' and she said 'Well, I'm sure we could come to some arrangement...'

EWW.
(berk, Wed 27 Oct 2010, 21:07, Reply)

Hmm..
A friend of mine is an estate agent. They'd let a house out to what they thought was a respectable guy but started getting a lot of complaints from neighbours about "activities".

He went round to check and found that three fat toothless grandmas were operating a knocking shop there, and they offered him free sex for ever if he didn't evict them.

He evicted them.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Wed 27 Oct 2010, 21:19, Reply)

Before or after the free sex?

( willenium Fist bump for verification, Wed 27 Oct 2010, 21:23, Reply)

Who'd pass up a freebie toothless nosh?

(Zoz prayed for twink on, Wed 27 Oct 2010, 21:24, Reply)

He's got an eye for a bargain
He may well have had a go first.

And let's face it, who amongst us can claim a foursome with three fat grannies? Unless Peter Stringfellow posts on here.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Wed 27 Oct 2010, 21:27, Reply)

Wayne Rooney might have had a go.

(Zoz prayed for twink on, Wed 27 Oct 2010, 21:28, Reply)

That's a point
He's stupid enough.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Wed 27 Oct 2010, 21:34, Reply)

I got one of those once
Couldn't finish it, unusually for cake it had way too much sugar in it.
(Zoz prayed for twink on, Wed 27 Oct 2010, 20:28, Reply)

Illness

( willenium Fist bump for verification, Wed 27 Oct 2010, 20:12, Reply)

Heh. Thanks for that
He still hasn't bloody texted. I was toying with the idea with asking him if he was feeling better if I hadn't heard from him by tomorrow lunchtime, but I will remain resolute. Or try...he really was rather scrummy.
I have something which rather hilariously calls itself a 'lovetub'. It's chocolate, with extra chocolate and a side helping of chocolate, and it's making me feel much better.
(berk, Wed 27 Oct 2010, 20:10, Reply)

Has your actual boyfriend texted you in the last couple of days?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 27 Oct 2010, 20:16, Reply)

Of course
I know it's not my phone eating texts, it's just a stupid boy being a stupid boy.
(berk, Wed 27 Oct 2010, 20:18, Reply)

:(
When are you next seeing him?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 27 Oct 2010, 20:21, Reply)

Which one?
I'll see the boyf over the weekend I would imagine, and I haven't rearranged to see cute man because he hasn't bloody gotten in touch since cancelling.
(berk, Wed 27 Oct 2010, 20:22, Reply)

You'll be extra nice to the boyfriend this weekend I'd imagine.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 27 Oct 2010, 20:26, Reply)

I'm always nice to him
although I guess you could argue that seeing another man for drinks isn't the most pleasant thing I could be doing..
(berk, Wed 27 Oct 2010, 20:34, Reply)

Well if he doesn't know about it, it doesn't matter.
Probably.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 27 Oct 2010, 20:37, Reply)

I was enjoying my book and my cake
and now I feel all conflicted and guilty. Again.
Cheers for that.
(berk, Wed 27 Oct 2010, 20:41, Reply)

Sorry berk.
What book are you reading and what cake do you have?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 27 Oct 2010, 20:44, Reply)

The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes
and some chocolate-y gooey thing.
(berk, Wed 27 Oct 2010, 20:45, Reply)

That sounds just the ticket.
Is it a choose-your-own-adventure with Sherlock?

(Or is it slightly more grown-up than that?)
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 27 Oct 2010, 20:50, Reply)

No, it's the original Conan Doyle
(by choose your own I assume you mean 'such and such has happened, to do 'x' turn to page 'y'?)
(berk, Wed 27 Oct 2010, 20:53, Reply)

Pfft
See, now you've lost interest and all.
*sigh*
(berk, Wed 27 Oct 2010, 21:09, Reply)

No I haven't!
And yes, I did mean 'turn to page 'x' or 'y'!

Have you got a drink to go with your book and cake?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 27 Oct 2010, 21:13, Reply)

Yeah
lemsip :(
(berk, Wed 27 Oct 2010, 21:19, Reply)

You've got the lurgy too?
Bad times.

Is it a head-cold or a chesty cough?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 27 Oct 2010, 21:28, Reply)

A little of column A, a little of column B
I'm not dying but it's enough to make me grumpy.
(berk, Wed 27 Oct 2010, 21:31, Reply)

Is you texting finger still working?
(This is how all colds will be judged in the future).
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 27 Oct 2010, 21:33, Reply)

Mine's fine
apparently it only breaks if you have a Y chromosome and a cold at the same time.
(berk, Wed 27 Oct 2010, 21:35, Reply)

No, my texting finger is working fine.
And I'm ILL. ILL I tells ya.

I'm off the tabs and everything.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 27 Oct 2010, 21:38, Reply)

Yes, well
pardon me if I'm wrong, but you are not a hot, arrogant young man - you're old enough to have learned some manners and text etiquette, for starters.
Quit smoking? Jesus, is it a cold you've got or TB?
(berk, Wed 27 Oct 2010, 21:40, Reply)

For fucks sake!
Kick me when I'm down.

I'm 36 and ILL. At my time of life this could be fatal.

And I am hot. Although that is down to me having a temperature, no other reason.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 27 Oct 2010, 21:43, Reply)

Well 36 is older than 28
and old enough, like I say, to have learned some damn manners, which apparently hot boy has not.
Are you sure you won't come to the Bristol bash? :P
(berk, Wed 27 Oct 2010, 21:46, Reply)

We'll see.
I have told Blousie that if I'm around I'll have lunch with her before the bash, so it's a possibility.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 27 Oct 2010, 21:49, Reply)

you need one of them those neti pots

( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 27 Oct 2010, 20:10, Reply)

What is a neti-pot?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 27 Oct 2010, 20:12, Reply)

some sort of genie lamp you use to pour saline into your nose and it drains the snotty out the other side

( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 27 Oct 2010, 20:13, Reply)

That sounds so far beyond rank
I'll stick to tissues and a bit of a chafe-y nose, cheers.
(berk, Wed 27 Oct 2010, 20:14, Reply)

haha I've heard it works really well though
I haven't tried it yet, what with my gag reflex exploding anytime I see snot
( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 27 Oct 2010, 20:16, Reply)

Pol Pot's sister?

( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Wed 27 Oct 2010, 20:14, Reply)