I've got Daim cookies, and I just got given a free bit of chocolate smartie swiss roll.
This makes me better than all of you.
Discuss.
( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Wed 10 Nov 2010, 11:12, 36 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Daim cookies, and I just got given a free bit of chocolate smartie swiss roll.
This makes me better than all of you.
AIDS
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 10 Nov 2010, 11:13, Reply)

You have AIDS?
That's terrible, I'm so sorry.
( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Wed 10 Nov 2010, 11:17, Reply)

I can only eat bland things until tomorrow
I'm quite enjoying all the bread this involves.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 10 Nov 2010, 11:13, Reply)

You should come round and try my wife's cooking

(TheColonel, Wed 10 Nov 2010, 11:15, Reply)

Or my mother's!
We practically have to drink her vegetables on a Sunday
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 10 Nov 2010, 11:17, Reply)

My mum, may she rest in piece, used to boil the veg to buggery
..and then boil them for a few more minutes after that.

At the weekend I had sprouts for the first time in years. I steamed them for a couple of minutes, and they were excellent - not the tattered green detritus that I used to be presented with at home.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Wed 10 Nov 2010, 11:20, Reply)

^this
The only good thing about Christmas.

The best thing to come out of Italy is 'al dente'. (sp?)
( girlinthehole, Wed 10 Nov 2010, 11:22, Reply)

Exactly
The first time I cooked for my mum she couldn't understand why the veg wasn't a soggy mess falling off her plate. I had to explain to her - as diplomatically as possible - that this is how veg is supposed to be cooked.

It was like showing fire to the first caveman, bless her.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Wed 10 Nov 2010, 11:29, Reply)

I bought mine a steamer, and for a while things were good
Then she realised how to obliterate them using a steamer too
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 10 Nov 2010, 11:39, Reply)

Steamed Veg is far tastier than boiled
Especially Sweetcorn
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 10 Nov 2010, 11:41, Reply)

That's outrageous
I have the steamer up and ready to go and then just stick the veg into it a minute or two before starting to serve everything up. Even a fuckwit like me can't go wrong.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Wed 10 Nov 2010, 11:45, Reply)

Agreed

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 10 Nov 2010, 11:55, Reply)

You're agreeing that I'm a fuckwit?
That's harsh.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Wed 10 Nov 2010, 13:07, Reply)

I was empathising
as a fellow-fuckwit
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 10 Nov 2010, 13:22, Reply)

Wait a minute...
...the ONLY good thing about Christmas?
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Wed 10 Nov 2010, 11:30, Reply)

I thought he was a Geordie?
*confused face*
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 10 Nov 2010, 11:33, Reply)

dente must be a Sicilian dialect
meaning fat
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 10 Nov 2010, 11:34, Reply)

*writes this down*
I see.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 10 Nov 2010, 11:35, Reply)

When I wake up on Christmas morning, I always dig my GF in the ribs and tell her to go and put the sprouts on.
She never finds this amusing, but I'm not giving up.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 10 Nov 2010, 11:38, Reply)

I'm not married :(

(TheColonel, Wed 10 Nov 2010, 11:21, Reply)

Hahah you meff

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 10 Nov 2010, 11:39, Reply)

My colleague has just bought his old coffee machine into this office.
And in the course of making coffee with it, he offered me a distinctly "nommy" biscuit. If I weren't in such a foul mood I'd declare myself superior.
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 10 Nov 2010, 11:28, Reply)

Well, 'BraynDedd', this thread's really something, huh?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 10 Nov 2010, 11:31, Reply)

Sshhh
I thought this was where we came for quiet time.
(TheColonel, Wed 10 Nov 2010, 11:33, Reply)

Have I offended you in some way?

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Wed 10 Nov 2010, 11:33, Reply)

Not at all, why?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 10 Nov 2010, 11:34, Reply)

You just seem upset with me for some reason.

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Wed 10 Nov 2010, 11:35, Reply)

You're imagining things.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 10 Nov 2010, 11:37, Reply)

This is Monty.
He gets upset about everything. Try talking about the artistic merits of David Bowie and his impact on popular culture; that'll sooth his furrowed brow and put a spring in his step.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 10 Nov 2010, 11:38, Reply)

talking about the artistic merits of David Bowie and his impact on popular culture; that'll sooth his furrowed brow and put a spring in his step. not starting sub-JMG 'why I'm better than you' threads that became more tedious than a nine-hour church service about two years ago.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 10 Nov 2010, 11:41, Reply)

You seem to be forgetting that I tried to bridge our cultural gap by mentioning unhealthy snack foods.

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Wed 10 Nov 2010, 11:45, Reply)

So is he the sort of forum user that makes everyone else think that /offtopic is full of oversensitive wobbly pricks?

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Wed 10 Nov 2010, 11:42, Reply)

Monty is a God among men.
Which is a shame, as I'm an atheist.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 10 Nov 2010, 11:46, Reply)

Haha, that was quite good.

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Wed 10 Nov 2010, 11:47, Reply)

Seriously though, Monty's sound.
If freakishly tall.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 10 Nov 2010, 11:53, Reply)

Yes
Anything and everything offends Monty in every single way.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 10 Nov 2010, 11:35, Reply)