Jesus!
I just came downstairs to plug my laptop in, realised it was a bit cold so went to put the gas fire on. I lit it, walked away, sat down, then saw that it hadn't actually lit. Got up walked over to the side of it (where you turn the gas knob) and....BOOM!!!
Flying glass everywhere. Smashed through a porcelain moneybox, embedded shards of glass in the back of my laptop (which thankfully was only a couple of weeks old, so still had the protective plastic on it). Glass everywhere.
As I was standing to the side of it, the glass only caught one finger and one leg.
Thank Christ the kids were out with their nan; they would usually have been sitting right in front of that fire.

What narrow escapes have you had lately?
(dchurch bah, Sat 20 Nov 2010, 15:04, 85 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

fuck!
glad you're ok. And that your first response seems to be to post here :)

I narrowly avoided the temptation to run my ex-husband over today, when I saw him on his bike. Makes me the bigger person, I feel
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sat 20 Nov 2010, 15:09, Reply)

No, all the cake you ate after the divorce makes you the bigger person.

( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sat 20 Nov 2010, 15:16, Reply)

haha
mmmm cake
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sat 20 Nov 2010, 15:17, Reply)

Ha
Yeah, had to tell someone. Shook me up a bit I can tell you. I'm no nancy, but that f***ing great boom and glass flying everywhere did make me shake for about 10 minutes after it happened.
(dchurch bah, Sat 20 Nov 2010, 15:32, Reply)

fair play
I'd have shat myself.
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sat 20 Nov 2010, 15:37, Reply)

You're a better woman than me crunchy.

( girlinthehole, Sat 20 Nov 2010, 17:14, Reply)

well, if I had run him over
I might have to talk to him again, which apart from the initial "FUCK YOU, you blood drenched loser!" might prove to be tedious
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sat 20 Nov 2010, 17:20, Reply)

(dchurch bah, Sat 20 Nov 2010, 15:35, Reply)

fooking hellfire
I approve of you documenting this on b3ta.
May want to give that table an extra wipe when you're cleaning
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Sat 20 Nov 2010, 15:54, Reply)

Ha -
the table WAS clean. It had a plate on it from this morning that got broken (shard of glass straight through it), and what the kids had left ended up on the table.
(dchurch bah, Sat 20 Nov 2010, 15:58, Reply)

My coffee table is always filthy
mainly as I live with disgusting BOYS.
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Sat 20 Nov 2010, 16:00, Reply)

You should see my desks
(plural since I have the one that came with the room, which is too low for me to sit at in a way that won't make my joints hurt like hell after a while, and the funky DSA-granted height adjustable one)

I can't.
( Tedium Alduce me to interlow myself., Sat 20 Nov 2010, 16:11, Reply)

I'm not even a clean freak, but leaving stuff on tables annoys me for some reason

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Sat 20 Nov 2010, 16:14, Reply)

My room is a bit of a tip
But I keep most of the communal bits on my floor (of my uni halls) clean, and get a bit annoyed when other people mess them up.

The only reason this room is even remotely tidy is that I have to empty it out over the holidays, so it doesn't have time to get *really* bad.

Going to have to be better about it next term since there's a good possibility of having someone come to visit that I'd want it to be presentable for :)
( Tedium Alduce me to interlow myself., Sat 20 Nov 2010, 16:19, Reply)

Your mum?

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Sat 20 Nov 2010, 16:23, Reply)

Nah
She's seen my room at home, so this is nothing compared to what that can get like.

More someone I wouldn't want to put off by taking her into a horribly messy room (though if there's just enough dross that she wouldn't be able to sleep on the floor, it might not be an entirely bad thing... though by that point it shouldn't really be an issue)
( Tedium Alduce me to interlow myself., Sat 20 Nov 2010, 16:28, Reply)

I like that the
fake coal is numbered.
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Sat 20 Nov 2010, 16:11, Reply)

PANDA DOWN! PANDA DOWN!

( Ring Of Fire A petty, drooling belming butthurt retard., Sat 20 Nov 2010, 20:46, Reply)

Looks like a lucky escape
I luckily escaped paying full price at the shops today thanks to my innovate use of BOGOF offers.
( willenium Fist bump for verification, Sat 20 Nov 2010, 15:41, Reply)

I was in tesco the other day, fancied some fanta
and the six packs were buy one get TWO free!
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Sat 20 Nov 2010, 15:55, Reply)

you do pay full price with BOGOF
you just get twice as much
( mictoboy shitting in your cunt since, Sat 20 Nov 2010, 15:56, Reply)

curse you logic!

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sat 20 Nov 2010, 16:10, Reply)

bloody hell
hope the clean up doesn't prove too costly
( mictoboy shitting in your cunt since, Sat 20 Nov 2010, 15:56, Reply)

Woah
No real narrow escapes lately, found out I'm getting a laptop (well, cash towards since they're not that technical) from my parents for my (21st, hence the big present) birthday, AND my cousin that works for a dell reseller can get me £100 off alienware stuff :D

Just waiting for my friends to finish off their work (damn birthdays at uni...) then getting pizza, then off to the pub :D
( Tedium Alduce me to interlow myself., Sat 20 Nov 2010, 16:04, Reply)

I was nosing through your profile
Clicked on the link in the "most childish things you've done as an adult" post and DAMN YOU DAMN YOU TO HELL
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Sat 20 Nov 2010, 16:13, Reply)

:D

( Tedium Alduce me to interlow myself., Sat 20 Nov 2010, 16:14, Reply)

yay - happy birthday
My 21st was after my last exam, but in the middle of everyone else's. I think we went out for a pint then everyone rushed back to revise
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sat 20 Nov 2010, 16:56, Reply)

Fookin hell!
But seriously, brown leather sofas with red carpet?
( girlinthehole, Sat 20 Nov 2010, 17:17, Reply)

little do you know of the furnishing faux pas's
of the people you communicate with on here. I have an orangy, browny, manky sofa bed in my lounge :(
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sat 20 Nov 2010, 17:21, Reply)

I should be more careful with whom I communicate with.
The only thing that doesn't co-ordinate with my living room are the cats.
( girlinthehole, Sat 20 Nov 2010, 17:30, Reply)

you even coordinate the tea and biscuits
at your coffee mornings and tupperware parties?
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sat 20 Nov 2010, 17:32, Reply)

I am my mother's daughter unfortunately.

( girlinthehole, Sat 20 Nov 2010, 17:34, Reply)

curse you genetics!
i think that's why I am crap at cooking and forgetful
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sat 20 Nov 2010, 17:38, Reply)

This is why I'm good at furnishing but crap at picking men.

( girlinthehole, Sat 20 Nov 2010, 18:03, Reply)

I
wanted white, but apparently, I have no say in the matter (apart from the wallet opening to pay for aforementioned item).
(dchurch bah, Sat 20 Nov 2010, 17:31, Reply)

White! Good God man.
You have children don't you?
( girlinthehole, Sat 20 Nov 2010, 17:33, Reply)

Strangley enough
that was the very same reaction from the misses.
(dchurch bah, Sat 20 Nov 2010, 17:41, Reply)

She didn't know?
Thought she'd have noticed...
( Tedium Alduce me to interlow myself., Sat 20 Nov 2010, 17:42, Reply)

ha ha
yeah, they're not her kids.
(dchurch bah, Sat 20 Nov 2010, 17:48, Reply)

What is going on here today?
Too much violence and dsitruction, that's what.

You with you gas-fire bomb and Blousie with her dangerous killer dogs.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 20 Nov 2010, 18:11, Reply)

shut it, lennon
we'll destroy what we like!

RIOT!
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sat 20 Nov 2010, 18:14, Reply)

Evening Crunch.
What are you wearing to you fancy dress party this evening?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 20 Nov 2010, 18:15, Reply)

I'm basically cheating
I used to be a pirate in larp, so I have loads of kit. So I've gone for swashbuckler. I really didn't have the inspiration to make anything new

/lame
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sat 20 Nov 2010, 18:23, Reply)

Lacking in inspiration to make something new?
You sure 'Arrr!'
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 20 Nov 2010, 18:28, Reply)

oh, you plank!

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sat 20 Nov 2010, 18:31, Reply)

I'm a figurehead!

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 20 Nov 2010, 18:32, Reply)

Ooo! that is ripe for a strikethrough but I like you too much to do it.

( girlinthehole, Sat 20 Nov 2010, 18:32, Reply)

Go on, do it. I won't hold it against you.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 20 Nov 2010, 18:34, Reply)

You sure?

( girlinthehole, Sat 20 Nov 2010, 18:35, Reply)

Yeah.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 20 Nov 2010, 18:37, Reply)

figure Knob
( girlinthehole, Sat 20 Nov 2010, 18:37, Reply)

*breaks down sobbing*
Why are you MEAN to me?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 20 Nov 2010, 18:38, Reply)

You love it.

( girlinthehole, Sat 20 Nov 2010, 18:39, Reply)

*cries - leave me alone*

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 20 Nov 2010, 18:41, Reply)

You really want me to leave you alone?

( girlinthehole, Sat 20 Nov 2010, 18:46, Reply)

Nah! Just pulling your chain, innit!

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 20 Nov 2010, 18:50, Reply)

Pfft! I knew that.
I was pulling your chain harder.
( girlinthehole, Sat 20 Nov 2010, 18:52, Reply)

I need to have a shower and get ready to go to the pub shortly.
I'm dead cold having say outside all afternoon watching football.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 20 Nov 2010, 18:58, Reply)

Bye!
Have fun!
( girlinthehole, Sat 20 Nov 2010, 18:59, Reply)

I said shortly.
Not 'right this very minute', but if you had enough of me....
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 20 Nov 2010, 19:01, Reply)

Sorry!
I was a bit premature. Still, makes a change that it's me and not you : )
( girlinthehole, Sat 20 Nov 2010, 19:04, Reply)

You off out this evening?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 20 Nov 2010, 19:07, Reply)

Nope!
However, next Saturday is the works Christmas do at the curry house. The weekend after that I have visitors and it's the Mancs bash and the weekend after that I'm in Brizzle.
( girlinthehole, Sat 20 Nov 2010, 19:08, Reply)

that was rigged!

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sat 20 Nov 2010, 18:52, Reply)

No need to
Crowsnest
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 20 Nov 2010, 18:57, Reply)

if you mast

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sat 20 Nov 2010, 18:57, Reply)

a pun there ^ of mast distructions.
I hope your costume doesn't make you too hot this evening, but to be on the same side, make sure you apply some anti-pers-pirate.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 20 Nov 2010, 19:00, Reply)

Please don't remind me.
I can still see the little thing lying on it's back squeeking and and blinking at me.
( girlinthehole, Sat 20 Nov 2010, 18:27, Reply)

:(
Will you still give them that squirrel to play with, or do you think that'll validate their actions?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 20 Nov 2010, 18:29, Reply)

I'll have to now. I've ordered it.
It was awful Jeff. And the worst thing was I didn't let them finish it off.
( girlinthehole, Sat 20 Nov 2010, 18:30, Reply)

You'll never be able to eat a Topic again.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 20 Nov 2010, 18:31, Reply)

I like Topics too.
I've never seen Biscuit with blood lust before.
( girlinthehole, Sat 20 Nov 2010, 18:31, Reply)

You make the dog sound like a Jammie Dodger
Mmmm...
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 20 Nov 2010, 18:32, Reply)

I didn't escape it haha
just did the biggest comedy fall ever in Boots. Phone went across the store, keys under a counter, and the breath totally went from my lungs
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Sat 20 Nov 2010, 19:44, Reply)

Well wear more sensible shoes next time.
Those Boots sound dangerous.

Sorry. I'm bored and waiting for someone to pick me up and take me to the pub.

You okay?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 20 Nov 2010, 20:06, Reply)

Yeah
was just a bit shaken.

What time you going to the pub?
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Sat 20 Nov 2010, 20:13, Reply)

Close Shave
Nothing gas related recently, but came damn close to running over some drunken/drugged up tw*t who decided to stand infront of my train the other night... having to talk him down from the side of the 100ft high viaduct too was fun.
( HSDriver was probably still at work on, Sat 20 Nov 2010, 20:14, Reply)