I am seeing how it goes with the ex
as I still am not sure whether to get back together or not, but that doesn't mean I can't also see a cute man for a pint.
(berk, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 13:57, 3 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

You don't make your life easy do you?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 13:59, Reply)

In what way?

(berk, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 14:05, Reply)

In the way that if I were the significant other in your increasingly complicated relationship
I'd have huge doubts about your commitment, if you were texting Hot-Bloke with view to meeting him for a pint.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 14:08, Reply)

I do not have a significant other
we split up. As Lab says, there were good reasons for this, but the ex wants me to come back and work on our problems. I am ambivalent about his capacity to change.
(berk, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 14:12, Reply)

No one ever changes to be exactly how you'd like them
There will always be something there that causes friction.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 14:17, Reply)

Hence the invention of 'lube'.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 14:20, Reply)

plus even if he does change
he'll resent you for initiating it
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 14:24, Reply)

Possibly
he was insistent he could and would change however.
(berk, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 14:28, Reply)

He wants you back
of course he would say that. But whether he changes or not, that change hasn't come from him, it's not an impetus he felt. It's something he's doing for a reason and that will become the basis for arguments later on 'I changed this, this and this for you, so you have to stay with me because I've made such an effort.' And if you found it so hard to dump him when you no longer wanted to go out with him,, imagine that with a guilt trup on top
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 14:31, Reply)

^ this
he is who he is, which is someone who is not right for you, by your own admission.
Do you want someone who's had to change or do you want someone who is right?
Enjoy being single and picking fruit from the trees for a while.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 14:35, Reply)

I think that is called hedging your bets.

( girlinthehole, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 14:01, Reply)

Not really
I'm pretty sure it's not going to go anywhere with hot bloke, but he's fun to be around and a lot of fun to look at, so why shouldn't I see him for a drink? It's not like my social life is teeming with other offers...
(berk, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 14:06, Reply)

I read that as otters

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 14:10, Reply)

It's not teeming with them either

(berk, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 14:12, Reply)

Forget about your ex
You broke up for a reason. Move on to greener pastures.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 14:03, Reply)

That's all fine and well
however my greener pastures have a dirty great tumbleweed in them.
(berk, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 14:08, Reply)

Move on from the ex.
People don't change that much. The dynamic of the renewed relationship will be one of your assessing the fellow all the time. It won't work, he'll get his hopes up fruitlessly (I wouldn't blame him), then it will end again only even more painfully.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 14:16, Reply)

^This
Also berk, you just need to get out more. I know that there aren't many opportunities for that right now, but I'd be happy to wingman you at a pub or decent club in Birmingham some time, as I'd also like to get out somewhere new (not with an eye to pulling, just to meeting hot alt girls).
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 14:19, Reply)

Hehe, cheers.
When I've got some cash I may take you up on that - there's a couple of decent alternative clubs/nights here. It's just a struggle to go out not knowing anyone, but if I don't go out then it's a struggle to meet anyone. Bit of a shitter really.
(berk, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 14:26, Reply)

I know exactly what you mean
Whereas here i have friends I can go out with (although almost all have partnered up), but nowhere decent to go.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 14:28, Reply)

I have found that most of my friends
who are also partnered up have almost no interest in going out anymore. Tedious farts - I'm too young to be getting old and boring!
(berk, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 14:31, Reply)

I occasionally feel too old to go out to rock clubs
But then I really enjoyed going to the Ballroom with folk!
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 14:35, Reply)

Yes, I haven't the stamina to do it every week like I used to!
But occasionally I do really feel like going out for a drink and a dance and a damn good giggle.
(berk, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 14:37, Reply)

Well, yes, this is generally my feeling
I just feel I guess like I ought to give it another go instead of binning a nearly two year relationship for stuff he reckons he can change. So I'm thinking about it, seriously thinking about it, but I'm inclined to think that you are right and that I made the right choice. Probably.
(berk, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 14:20, Reply)

Initial gut reactions are (in my experience) invariably right.
Please listen to me: you are fucking lovely. Don't be so impatient.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 14:20, Reply)

Aww, thanks
I'm not particularly impatient to be in a relationship again, to be honest - it's just not really knowing anyone and thus feeling bored and lonely that particularly frustrates me.
(berk, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 14:39, Reply)

Yes move on.
But don't put "my greener pastures have a dirty great tumbleweed in them." in your dating profile.
(Cave Duck, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 14:18, Reply)

Sounds kind of rude, doesn't it?

(berk, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 14:20, Reply)

That, and the fact that it might attract blokes who know more about creeping fescue than is good for them.

(Cave Duck, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 14:30, Reply)

Move on
Settling for better-than-nothing sucks and you'll never get better with that attitude
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 14:20, Reply)