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(I helped save b3ta! rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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I've got a cheese and mango chutney toasty
What are you having?
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 13:03, 269 replies, latest was 15 years ago)
Ham salad on wholemeal and smoky bacon crisps
Followed by anniversary chocolate cake as it has been 1 year since we moved to this building. There's loads, too, so I'm going to have another slice later.
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 13:03, Reply)
A diet coke and some kettle chips
/fatlolz
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 13:04, Reply)
Is your hangover bad?

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 13:05, Reply)
I don't get hangovers
though on Sunday morning at the weekend I woke up and thought 'if I am ever going to get a hangover, it will be today' (the night before had been a massive blowout) and my head hurt. Luckily it was just because it was at an awkward angle, and after a cup of tea I felt absolutely fine
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 13:11, Reply)

out job
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 13:27, Reply)
I hate you.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 13:42, Reply)
I'm a dislikable person :)

(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 13:47, Reply)
Sex with a man.
Not really. Wild mushroom soup, crackers, Cambazola.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 13:05, Reply)
I've come to the conclusion I don't actually like soup
Every time I'm wondering what to have, I think "Well, there's soup..." and then immediately, "No, I'm not in the mood for soup."

I apparently haven't been in the mood for soup for several years. I think that qualifies as having gone off it.
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 13:09, Reply)
I don't mind it, but it's rather dull.
I am limited to microwave cookery in my office so soup features depressingly frequently in my lunch schedule.

I was given the Covent Garden Soup Co's cookery book once, and whilst the recipes are great, the breadth and expense of the ingredients mean that, were you to have them at your disposal, no way on earth would you waste them making soup.

'First, roast the pheasants and caribou...'
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 13:12, Reply)
Ooh I would like some pheasant right now

(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 13:14, Reply)
Fuck that, I'll take the caribou

(Bazongaloid, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 13:18, Reply)
My mother made game casserole for my brother's 40th birthday lunch.
It was absolutely gorgeous: wood pigeon, rabbit, venison, pheasant and beef. How we 'nommed'.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 13:18, Reply)
delicious
I ate nothing nearly as nice as that for my birthday
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 13:22, Reply)
Did you slurp up the bottom of your bowl and then go "MMMMmmmmm nom nom nom"
and then do an impression of a zombie?
(Bazongaloid, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 13:23, Reply)
Yup, then I played with some kittums
and we all had cupcakes.


But then we haz a sad because all the nommy zombie lols were over.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 13:31, Reply)
Awwwww :(

(Bazongaloid, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 13:34, Reply)
stop mocking me.

(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 13:39, Reply)
I've tried my best but I'm afraid I cannot.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 13:42, Reply)
Go nom yourself.

(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 13:45, Reply)
If he could do that he wouldn't waste time on here.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 13:53, Reply)
That sounds fecking incredible
I know someone who gets a lot of game, and often has too much. Might have to ask if they've got any spare...
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 13:30, Reply)
'Too much' game?
Eh???
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 13:32, Reply)
Literally not enough room to store it
Last time I got duck, venison and pheasant, made a pie with onions and carrots.
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 13:33, Reply)
I want to be friends with this person.
Even if they are a ghastly northern cross-dresser like you.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 13:38, Reply)
I saw a duck, venison and pheasant all in clown-outfits the other day.
Game for a laugh.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 13:39, Reply)
*head in hands*
Oh for fucks sake
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 13:41, Reply)
Please die.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 13:43, Reply)
Admit you smiled and I'll leave the Internet.
Briefly
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 13:45, Reply)
I'm contemplating a venison in red wine casserole
in the slow cooker. I've got to do some research on which wine to use; if I'm going to use alcohol as food instead of drink I don't want to waste it.
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 13:42, Reply)
I recommend you 'cut' your venison with at least 1 one third stewing beef.
The additional fat makes the whole thing a lot richer.

I also suggest you use a new world red like an Argentine or Chilean Malbec.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 13:44, Reply)
*takes notes*

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 13:45, Reply)
*takes drugs*

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 13:56, Reply)
Make a roux as well and mix that with the wine before you put it in.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 13:58, Reply)
I love soup
it's like pouring liquid heat through my body.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 13:24, Reply)
You have convinced me to have my can of Heinz 'big soup' for lunch.

(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 13:26, Reply)
I can't handle a Big Soup
it's like a steak and kidney pie and chips all blended into liquid, they're fucking huge!
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 13:39, Reply)
On inspection I don't have any left.
Some shit diet vegetable soup will have to suffice. What a shambles.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 14:05, Reply)
add cheese
that removes the diet aspect immediately.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 14:38, Reply)
strawberry banana bubble gum
and a damned diet pepsi
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 13:06, Reply)
All the food groups covered there.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 13:09, Reply)
I don't make time enough for me to eat breakfast.

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 13:10, Reply)
I feel sick for the the first hour or two of being awake each day.
Breakfast is an alien concept to me.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 13:14, Reply)
is that a side effect of the MDs?

(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 13:15, Reply)
ew why

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 13:19, Reply)
He catches sight of himself in the mirror

(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 13:20, Reply)
No, he catches sight of you in the mirror

(Bazongaloid, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 13:22, Reply)
MD's

(PsychoChomp, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 13:21, Reply)
I've been like this as long as I can remember.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 13:30, Reply)
and me, i hate breakfast
i think it's after a holiday in california when i was about 11, i had to scarf down those massive american breakfasts and then got in the car for hours of driving or walking around in the sun... never been able to eat much breakfast since.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 13:32, Reply)
I like American breakfasts A LOT.
But not 'til about 11am.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 13:38, Reply)
mee tooooo

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 13:42, Reply)
Have you considered
GOING TO YOUR FUCKING GP ABOUT YOUR HEALTH??2?!?!
(PsychoChomp, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 13:41, Reply)
What do they know, eh?

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 13:46, Reply)
^this
it's hardly unusual to not want to eat breakfast.
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 13:48, Reply)
Agreed.
I rarely fancy eating as soon as I wake up.

I usually leave it a couple of hours.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 13:49, Reply)
If I'm woken with food, it's all good
If I wake up, it takes a while. Unless it's chocolate hobnobs. Mmm, hobnobs.
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 13:56, Reply)
Consistent and prolonged nausea is not a symtom you should ignore.
Unless it magically goes away if he has a week off the booze, then he should ignore it.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 13:50, Reply)
I get the impression
that it's less that he's being sick every day and more that the idea of food makes him feel slightly queasy. In which case, he joins half of Britain
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 13:57, Reply)
They know if it's something stupidly simple like tape worm.
You could be in and out of there in a few hours.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 13:48, Reply)
that'll be one fucked up tape worm

(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 13:55, Reply)
Subway BMT, 12" (saving half for later)
Lettuce, peppers, onions, cucumber, black pepper & oregano.
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 13:10, Reply)
Subway 12" meatball marinara
peppers, olives, chilli, chilli sauce, pepper cheese

FUCKING NYOM!
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 13:11, Reply)
You won't save half for later
You'll stare at it, salivating, then give in and stuff it in your face. Halfway through you'll start crying uncontrollably, your sub-filled cheeks glistening with your salty tears as you punch your fat rolls and wail about cellulite, bits of onion and peppers bursting from your gob.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 13:13, Reply)
Nope, if I ever get a footlong BMT or club, it's to have the other half after work
It's currently wrapped up in the draw next to me.
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 13:17, Reply)
DRAWER.
It's a drawer.
(I helped save b3ta! crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 13:52, Reply)
Shit.
Didn't even notice that!
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 13:57, Reply)
You could pretend that you're going to raffle it.

(Cave Duck, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 14:13, Reply)
It's like you've been there before
and your chins got there a few minutes earlier than the rest of you.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 13:17, Reply)
I was rather projecting, wasn't I

(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 13:18, Reply)
So were the chins

(Bazongaloid, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 13:19, Reply)
Labs sets them up, al knocks them down!

(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 13:19, Reply)
We're still talking about your chins here, right?

(Bazongaloid, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 13:21, Reply)
I just felt a stirring in my pants

(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 13:24, Reply)
It was your chins rubbing on them as you read the screen

(Bazongaloid, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 13:26, Reply)
Good, for a moment I feared I might have to do something horrible with you

(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 13:29, Reply)
like that giant bullfrog chinsmash move from Kung Fu Hustle?

(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 13:36, Reply)
I fucking love that film

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 13:36, Reply)
Like show me your chins?

(Bazongaloid, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 13:36, Reply)
I would have gone with 'Texas Chainsaw Massalcre"
although that does leave you open to lots of 'mass al' jokes
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 13:25, Reply)
I hadn't thought of that
It's good. I think I'll leave it the way it is, but don't take that as a knock back of your idea.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 13:27, Reply)
Texas Chinsaw Massalcre

(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 13:28, Reply)
*splutters*

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 13:32, Reply)
hahaha

(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 13:34, Reply)
This is very good

(Bazongaloid, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 13:36, Reply)
Thanks

(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 13:49, Reply)
I already ate my ham sandwiches
on homemade AWESOME bread and I'm having a yoghurt and some fruit later
(Bazongaloid, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 13:11, Reply)
I'm going to have a bowl of winter broth from that Michelin starred chef Mr Heinz.
I don't have any bread in the house though, sadface.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 13:12, Reply)
Call yourself a house wife.
Bake some.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 13:15, Reply)
I considered this yesterday
but I don't have any yeast.

Please don't make some kind of yeast/girl joke, I'm eating.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 13:25, Reply)
What do you call a fat girl with a yeast infection?
A whopper with cheese
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 13:27, Reply)
hahaha

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 13:30, Reply)
Still my favourite joke

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 13:34, Reply)
Hahahah

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 13:40, Reply)
Soda bread then
or any unleavened bread. OMG DO I HAVE TO DO EVERYTHING FOR YOU?!?!?!
(PsychoChomp, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 13:32, Reply)
YES
courier the bread over when you're done.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 13:35, Reply)
Don't want to.
Make soda bread though, it's well nice.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 13:42, Reply)
Don't want to.
I'm going to play Epic Mickey on my Wii now.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 13:43, Reply)
If you don't want mocking, don't post things like this.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 13:47, Reply)

things like this.
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 13:57, Reply)
pizza in the oven.
NOMlolz
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 2 Dec 2010, 13:13, Reply)
Still full of snow joy?

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 13:14, Reply)
YUP.
Walked for about three and a half hours through it to get to the top of Seaford Head, and I fell a few times getting up the hills there, but I made it eventually.
COMPLETELY stuffed now though. So uploading all my photos onto facebook.
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 2 Dec 2010, 13:17, Reply)
You aren't missing the sunshine then?

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 13:19, Reply)
Nope, I burn really easily and I'v never seen snow before so it's all novel and ace and lovely and pretty and *runs out of adjectives*
but yeah, me and sun don't get along very well.
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 2 Dec 2010, 13:21, Reply)
Nutella pizza, perchance?

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 13:14, Reply)
I've actually made that before, it's oddly delicious.

(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 2 Dec 2010, 13:17, Reply)
I am utterly unsurprised to hear this.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 13:20, Reply)
I'm surprised it didn't include hundreds and thousands all over it

(Bazongaloid, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 13:21, Reply)
......it did.

(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 2 Dec 2010, 13:23, Reply)
That's hardcore fairy bread

(Bazongaloid, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 13:26, Reply)
It really is.
:D
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 2 Dec 2010, 13:28, Reply)
You'd know, you fucking hardcore fairy.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 13:47, Reply)
I've also made apple crumble pizza.

(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 2 Dec 2010, 13:22, Reply)
How does that even work?

(Bazongaloid, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 13:23, Reply)
make a sweet pizza base by adding a little more sugar
spread chopped apples over the top, add oatmeal flakes and sugar and cinnamon, and bake, and done!
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 2 Dec 2010, 13:30, Reply)
This sounds class!

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 13:35, Reply)
it's actually quite nice.

(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 2 Dec 2010, 13:38, Reply)
o.O

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 13:24, Reply)
boots sold a chocolate pizza a few years ago
it was just a slab of chocolate coloured to look like a pizza, with white chocolate "mozzarella" and lots of "meat" and "veg" on top.

i am still gutted that nobody bought me one.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 13:35, Reply)
That sounds utterly vile

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 13:36, Reply)
they have them oop north
www.chocolate-cafe.co.uk/chocolate-pizza/

there was a branch in Manchester city centre but it didn't last long unfortunately. It was about 2 buildings down from my office as well which was dangerous.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 13:41, Reply)
this is fucking awesome!

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 14:09, Reply)
HEY, YOU FUCKING NERDS!!!
Turn down 'the Maiden' for a minute and check this out:

www.suck.uk.com/product.php?rangeID=159

Perfect for the Nomtastic Internet Spastic in you.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 13:16, Reply)
That is so fucking bent, it's brilliant.

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 13:17, Reply)

it's brilliant
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 13:21, Reply)
I'm not sure why you'd need 4 ghost cutters, surely one would be enough.

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 13:31, Reply)
One would be too many.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 13:33, Reply)
I was given a pacman mug for my birthday where the ghosts appear when it gets hot
IT'S AWESOME !!!!1111!!!
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 13:42, Reply)
Is it? Why?

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 13:48, Reply)
because it looks like an empty pacman level
but then when you put coffee in, the ghosts appear! YAY.

It's whimsical and fun miseryguts.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 13:56, Reply)
It sounds good
Better than my: "DRINK COFFEE - Do Stupid Things Faster with More Energy" cup
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 13:57, Reply)
wakka wakka wakka wakka

(PsychoChomp, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 13:18, Reply)
Sandwich
ham, cheese, corned beef and mustard on tiger bread followed by cup of tea and a mince pie.
(Zoz prayed for twink on, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 13:17, Reply)
I have no idea.
I really want something daft and simple like a chicken sandwich and a bowl of Cheerios, but I can't buy bread or boxes of cereal because I eat them all in one go/a day.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 13:17, Reply)

I eat them all in one go/a day I spunked all my money on ketamine and alcopops
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 13:26, Reply)

eat them all in one go/a day am a kleptomaniac and the very basic tenets of honest commerce are anathema to me.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 13:35, Reply)
It's like, you just get me.

(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 13:40, Reply)
nothing because
i ate a pizza last night and it was huge and i am still full. and fat.

but my trainee is having something that reeks like a leper's arse, i might have to make his life even unhappier by banning hot food from my office (i banned bacon sandwiches on day one, they stink).
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 13:28, Reply)
you're not fat.

(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 2 Dec 2010, 13:35, Reply)
you're lovely
inaccurate and misguided.

but lovely.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 13:36, Reply)
pffft.
why do so many people say that about me? :(
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 2 Dec 2010, 13:42, Reply)


(Bazongaloid, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 13:46, Reply)
Strewth, mate.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 13:49, Reply)
i dun geddit...

(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 2 Dec 2010, 13:53, Reply)
Nice work!

(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 13:53, Reply)
Half the problem with being young

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 13:46, Reply)
The other is being asleep until september ends

(Bazongaloid, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 13:48, Reply)
This is true

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 13:50, Reply)
Another problem
is an inability to understand why state leaders aren't used in front-line combat, but instead use professional soldiers that traditionally come from the lower echelons of society.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 13:51, Reply)
or dislike of conforming
to socially enforced rules of gender conduct and attire, choosing to subvert them by presenting in a deliberately androgynous way
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 13:53, Reply)
*shakes hands*

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 13:54, Reply)
+ while wearing a dress

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 13:58, Reply)
I've never really understood this myself
and hoped that one day a high profile rock band would pose this question themselves and provide me with an answer. Sadly I'm still waiting.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 13:54, Reply)
aussies have..

(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 2 Dec 2010, 13:56, Reply)
*weary look*

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 13:58, Reply)
You look tired, AA.
I suggest you go back to bed until somewhere around the 30/09/11 mark.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 14:01, Reply)
Come on Monty, you can do better than this!
Having to rely on memes for cheap mocking? Come on man, try harder!
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 14:05, Reply)
That's some disgraceful pandering from both of you.

(Bazongaloid, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 13:42, Reply)
its turning you on isn't it?
also - STOP CHANGING YOUR NAME!!
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 2 Dec 2010, 13:45, Reply)
You are a horrible bitch.

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 13:35, Reply)
you can feck off.

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 13:37, Reply)
Banning bacon?
That's just cruel! Even if you are a tree hugging hippy, you should all agree that bacon is an essential part of the diet. Hot bacon, flamed grilled, served on soft, white bread with brown sauce - fucking NOM.
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 13:39, Reply)
Maybe he's having a leper's arse?
It is game season after all.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 13:36, Reply)
and it's not like the leper will notice it missing

(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 13:37, Reply)
and as for you...
a leper's arse would be more popular around here today than he is with me. i had to use my stern voice and EVERYTHING.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 13:37, Reply)
Guy in my office ate smoked mackerel every day for 2 weeks, no boss said anything
I had super noodles with cheese, ham & pickle toasties, and now I'm banned from eating at my desk, because mine 'smelled'!

This was a while back.
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 13:40, Reply)
That's because no-one hates his guts.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 13:52, Reply)
My guts are fine, it's my face that's the problem.

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 13:52, Reply)
It sure is

(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 13:54, Reply)
Even Lab is mocking me?
This makes a chinge.
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 13:59, Reply)
I had a cheese and ham sandwich
with a side order of TOTAL LACK OF SURPRISE. I'm still quite hungry actually.
(berk, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 13:39, Reply)
You're lacking Branston Pickle there.

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 13:40, Reply)
It didn't come with any
it was from tesco. And weirdly whilst I love pickle, I'm not a big fan of it in ham sandwiches.
(berk, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 13:43, Reply)
Ham and cheese sandwiches are crying out for branston pickle
With old style Salt & Vinegar McCoys (Before they went shit)
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 13:47, Reply)
Why are salt n vinegar McCoys shit now?

(berk, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 13:49, Reply)
They've lost all strength, really weak now
They used to be eat-your-own-face strength, now they barely register.
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 13:51, Reply)
80s Sainsbury's own brand salt & vinegar crisps could be used in chemical warfare.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 13:53, Reply)
At least Monster Munch pickled onion are heading back towards this
They're not there yet, but damn it they're trying!
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 13:54, Reply)
I've not had them for a couple of months maybe
but even then they were burn your face off, eye wateringly strong. When did they change?
(berk, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 13:54, Reply)
Couple of years back

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 13:54, Reply)
Did you ask for extra surprise when you ordered it?

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 13:42, Reply)
No she was just hoping if she dressed sluttily while she ate it
someone would shout SURPRISE so it wasn't rape.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 13:47, Reply)
No, my sandwich was as expected
but I texted hot bloke earlier and he hasn't replied. Perhaps I'm being overly LOLDRAMA and pessimistic but I doubt that he will, either.
(berk, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 13:48, Reply)
I am astounded that anyone would pass up the chance
to get up close and personal with your boobies.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 13:51, Reply)
^^this

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 13:52, Reply)
This also astounds me.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 13:55, Reply)
My boobs are rubbish
are you thinking of someone else? Or rather, someone elses boobs?
(berk, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 13:56, Reply)
Nope, nearly all boobs are good
Just not my exes. Fuck, those things both looked like a fried egg on a nail.
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 14:00, Reply)
She only had one?
YOU USED TO GO OUT WITH KYLIE MINOGUE????
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 14:02, Reply)
Better?

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 14:06, Reply)
Do you all remember my mate Ted who I've never mentioned before?
Well, his first ever job as a seventeen year old was at a company that made all manner of surgical supplies. He excitedly told us that he might have to measure up women for false breasts and was surprised when we suggested that it wouldn't be an entirely erotic experience.
(Cave Duck, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 14:11, Reply)
That photo of you from your 22nd begs to differ

(Bazongaloid, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 14:07, Reply)
That's actually a little creepy
but I was looking unusually tit-tastic in that photo. I can assure you that this is in fact not the case, especially since I'm a lot thinner now.
(berk, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 14:10, Reply)
*there there*
Hot-Bloke might be busy.

I take it you've made a decision then?
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 13:53, Reply)
I am seeing how it goes with the ex
as I still am not sure whether to get back together or not, but that doesn't mean I can't also see a cute man for a pint.
(berk, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 13:57, Reply)
You don't make your life easy do you?

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 13:59, Reply)
In what way?

(berk, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 14:05, Reply)
In the way that if I were the significant other in your increasingly complicated relationship
I'd have huge doubts about your commitment, if you were texting Hot-Bloke with view to meeting him for a pint.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 14:08, Reply)
I do not have a significant other
we split up. As Lab says, there were good reasons for this, but the ex wants me to come back and work on our problems. I am ambivalent about his capacity to change.
(berk, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 14:12, Reply)
No one ever changes to be exactly how you'd like them
There will always be something there that causes friction.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 14:17, Reply)
Hence the invention of 'lube'.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 14:20, Reply)
plus even if he does change
he'll resent you for initiating it
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 14:24, Reply)
Possibly
he was insistent he could and would change however.
(berk, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 14:28, Reply)
He wants you back
of course he would say that. But whether he changes or not, that change hasn't come from him, it's not an impetus he felt. It's something he's doing for a reason and that will become the basis for arguments later on 'I changed this, this and this for you, so you have to stay with me because I've made such an effort.' And if you found it so hard to dump him when you no longer wanted to go out with him,, imagine that with a guilt trup on top
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 14:31, Reply)
^ this
he is who he is, which is someone who is not right for you, by your own admission.
Do you want someone who's had to change or do you want someone who is right?
Enjoy being single and picking fruit from the trees for a while.
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 14:35, Reply)
I think that is called hedging your bets.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 14:01, Reply)
Not really
I'm pretty sure it's not going to go anywhere with hot bloke, but he's fun to be around and a lot of fun to look at, so why shouldn't I see him for a drink? It's not like my social life is teeming with other offers...
(berk, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 14:06, Reply)
I read that as otters

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 14:10, Reply)
It's not teeming with them either

(berk, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 14:12, Reply)
Forget about your ex
You broke up for a reason. Move on to greener pastures.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 14:03, Reply)
That's all fine and well
however my greener pastures have a dirty great tumbleweed in them.
(berk, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 14:08, Reply)
Move on from the ex.
People don't change that much. The dynamic of the renewed relationship will be one of your assessing the fellow all the time. It won't work, he'll get his hopes up fruitlessly (I wouldn't blame him), then it will end again only even more painfully.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 14:16, Reply)
^This
Also berk, you just need to get out more. I know that there aren't many opportunities for that right now, but I'd be happy to wingman you at a pub or decent club in Birmingham some time, as I'd also like to get out somewhere new (not with an eye to pulling, just to meeting hot alt girls).
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 14:19, Reply)
Hehe, cheers.
When I've got some cash I may take you up on that - there's a couple of decent alternative clubs/nights here. It's just a struggle to go out not knowing anyone, but if I don't go out then it's a struggle to meet anyone. Bit of a shitter really.
(berk, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 14:26, Reply)
I know exactly what you mean
Whereas here i have friends I can go out with (although almost all have partnered up), but nowhere decent to go.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 14:28, Reply)
I have found that most of my friends
who are also partnered up have almost no interest in going out anymore. Tedious farts - I'm too young to be getting old and boring!
(berk, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 14:31, Reply)
I occasionally feel too old to go out to rock clubs
But then I really enjoyed going to the Ballroom with folk!
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 14:35, Reply)
Yes, I haven't the stamina to do it every week like I used to!
But occasionally I do really feel like going out for a drink and a dance and a damn good giggle.
(berk, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 14:37, Reply)
Well, yes, this is generally my feeling
I just feel I guess like I ought to give it another go instead of binning a nearly two year relationship for stuff he reckons he can change. So I'm thinking about it, seriously thinking about it, but I'm inclined to think that you are right and that I made the right choice. Probably.
(berk, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 14:20, Reply)
Initial gut reactions are (in my experience) invariably right.
Please listen to me: you are fucking lovely. Don't be so impatient.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 14:20, Reply)
Aww, thanks
I'm not particularly impatient to be in a relationship again, to be honest - it's just not really knowing anyone and thus feeling bored and lonely that particularly frustrates me.
(berk, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 14:39, Reply)
Yes move on.
But don't put "my greener pastures have a dirty great tumbleweed in them." in your dating profile.
(Cave Duck, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 14:18, Reply)
Sounds kind of rude, doesn't it?

(berk, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 14:20, Reply)
That, and the fact that it might attract blokes who know more about creeping fescue than is good for them.

(Cave Duck, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 14:30, Reply)
Move on
Settling for better-than-nothing sucks and you'll never get better with that attitude
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 14:20, Reply)
you got back okay then?

(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 13:42, Reply)
Yeah, the train was delayed
(of course) but I got back fine, if a little late. Nobody cared! Thanks again for putting me up for the night :)
(berk, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 13:45, Reply)
Glad it worked out well
nice to see you again
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 13:48, Reply)
Fried Chicken
So bad, but so, so good.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 13:46, Reply)
Tuna surprise sammich, a bag of french fries and some peanut M&Ms.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 13:47, Reply)
Did it shout surprise?
Or did you push back?
(Bazongaloid, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 13:51, Reply)
I push back.
It makes it more exciting that way.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 13:52, Reply)
Her hole doesn't usually smell like that
You'd be surprised too.
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 13:52, Reply)
Tuna surprise?
That makes a change.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 13:54, Reply)
I don't really bother about making each day's lunch new and exciting.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 13:57, Reply)
it shouldn't be too surprising that tuna is gross

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 13:55, Reply)
What makes it surprising?

(berk, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 13:58, Reply)
It is beef

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 13:58, Reply)
hahaha

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 14:00, Reply)
It's got cheese mixed with it amongst other things.
This is what the bakery calls it. Why is anyone's guess.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 14:00, Reply)
orgasms of glee
because the derelict nightclub at the end of my road which got closed down in every guise they tried is now becoming a brand new sainsburys local. i have a tesco express which is about a 5 min walk away, but sainsburys is (i) MILES nicer than tesco for fresh stuff and (ii) will only be a 3 min walk away. although to be fair, it's not the walk "away" that is the problem so much as the walk "back".

i hope it doesn't close down all the 24 hour local shops though. if you work/party the stupid hours i do, those are quite useful...
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 14:01, Reply)
I don't know why you're so excited.
You don't eat.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 14:02, Reply)
this is not true
but anyway... i DRINK.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 14:02, Reply)
Sainsburys has good wine
and bread

EDIT:
and cheese. These three things make me happy
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 14:04, Reply)
They are three of the Four Horsemen of the Montpocalypse.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 14:06, Reply)
My local Sainsburys
seems to be fresh out of MD
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 14:09, Reply)
Mine too.
I think they're having 'supplier problems'.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 14:12, Reply)
I trust the fourth one is brandy

(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 14:10, Reply)
Saisnbury's don't sell Hennessy, only Courvoisier*.
This is both bad and wrong.


*considerably better than Mar-fucking-Tell but still.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 14:19, Reply)
Have you had that Hennessy XO?

(berk, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 14:24, Reply)
It is my personal favourite.
I always buy a bottle when I travel abroad, without fail. You're the first person on here who seems to understand how fucking GREAT it is.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 14:27, Reply)
Not had cognac full stop
I may treat myself to some this Christmas
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 14:57, Reply)
Sorry Swipe but surely cans of diet-coke and bottles of Evian would taste the same any shop?

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 14:06, Reply)
I cannot abide Tesco. Horrible bunch of bastards they are.
Waitrose and Sainsbury's get my money every time*.


* not quite every time - until they start dealing drugs.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 14:05, Reply)
The meat in Tesco is shit

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 14:05, Reply)
i TOTALLY agree, but it does depend on how lazy i am feeling and what i am buying
tesco is literally 5 mins away on foot, waitrose is 15. as jeff rightly says (for once), bottled drinks i can get anywhere.

but they are lazy buggers at tesco, they just chuck all the new stuff on top of the old, so by the time i get there at 11pm or whenever it is 5 day old vegetables and they are manky and mushy. sainsburys might cost a bit more, but it's miles better.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 14:08, Reply)
*Dies slighty*

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 14:10, Reply)
WHAT??

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 14:14, Reply)
I'm usually wrong... apparently.

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 14:16, Reply)
Only slightly? Gutted.


Not really, I am feeling a bit cheeky today.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 14:17, Reply)
hahaha
i know you don't mean that.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 14:18, Reply)
French onion soup and a glass of vino

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 14:11, Reply)
Are you wearing a stripey jumper and a beret?

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 14:17, Reply)
and surrendering. Don't forget the surrendering.

(Cave Duck, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 14:19, Reply)
Nope
But I was wearing a cloche hat
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 14:20, Reply)
You're dead classy, you are.

(Cave Duck, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 14:31, Reply)
Thank you.

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 14:33, Reply)
:7(
Fucking protein shake...
(TDub Nunc id vides, nunc ne vides on, Thu 2 Dec 2010, 15:13, Reply)

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