Car mechanics
When you walk in to the garage they look you up and down thinking "how much can we do him for?" then procede to find work that needs doing on your car to achieve the value that they had in mind. If you need brake pads replacing, they'll replace the discs as well. Quibble the need to have done this, demand to see your old discs and they'll fetch some fucked old discs out which they keep in the "Mug Cupboard".

I had a blowing exhaust and they insisted I needed three sections replacing. A few months later a mechanic at another garage commented that one of these sections was "rotten" and needed replacing. Not sure if he was bullshitting me or if the last place had merely given my exhaust pipes a polish.

Had a slight argument with a kerb causing one wheel to point in the wrong direction. New steering rack apparently at a cost of £500. Then after months of wobbly steering and re-visiting that garage, finally took it to a dealership who sorted out the bollocksed-up alignment.

Another place did some work and my car which had not been stalling beforehand now was. Took it back several times, each time they'd ring and say "All done now". Each time it would stall before I'd driven the 2 miles home. Again, a trip to a dealership got the problem sorted.

Even the dealerships are at it. I had a slight coolant leak which I could see was coming from either a leaky or loose rubber hose. When I took the car to be serviced the dealership mechanic said I needed a new radiator. "No thankyou" I said. He commented when I went to collect the car that he had only put water, no anti-freeze, back in the radiator because of the leak. "WTF?" I thought to myself and then forgot all about it until my engine froze the following winter.

One last gripe: at a well known chain, sounds a bit like Quick-Fit, I decided to wait whilst they fixed my exhaust as it would only take "about an hour". After 2 hours had passed, I was told "the mechanic is just doing it now sir". Another hour goes by. "How much longer?" I ask. "We're just waiting for the driver to deliver your exhaust part". "WHAT?" I exclaim followed by "When will that get here?". "Probably tomorrow morning".
( stopmeandslapme Cometh the hour, cometh your mum, Thu 27 May 2010, 17:40, 12 replies)

One problem here is
at most places you only get to speak to the guy on the desk, and not actually see the work being done or speak to the grease monkeys any more.
(FirstBendBunching All four back please..., Thu 27 May 2010, 17:58, closed)

A friend of mine works in the motor trade and Kwik-Fit are a trade joke. One of the reasons they advertise such cheap prices (new tyres, air con recharge, etc.) is because they will then also claim something critical is wrong with your car (usually exhaust or brakes) and it's not legal to drive on the road, so you have to have it fixed there and that will be four hundred pounds please.
( sanityclause is waiting until, Thu 27 May 2010, 18:05, closed)

Get to know your mechanic.
Go to a local place and ask for quote only, then ask them about the quote. A decent place will tell you exactly what they plan to do and why and show you the problems.
You get what you pay for, to a point.
(Me, I'm not... in any way intoxicated, Thu 27 May 2010, 18:14, closed)

One bastard place I went to....
stuck a bunch of pebbles in a corner of my chasis and told me to listen for the rattle as I went arround corners, because that would be my wheel bearings fucking up.... BASTARDS !!!
(TwinkleFuckingToes Has a ingrown toe nail, Thu 27 May 2010, 18:25, closed)

Remember hubcaps - Still on Honda Accords btw
tyre fitters used to put pebbles in ladies and nerds hubcaps for extra work and cash
( The Scrunt Wants a Dozen Pints, Thu 27 May 2010, 19:07, closed)

If ANY motor vehicle repair place does any work on your car that you haven't authorised or asked them to do, then you don't have to do it.
I rather silly new chap at my local place taught me that when I got a brand new shiny set of discs and calipers for my Xantia a couple years back.
(Mensa Reject has gone out, I'll be back on, Thu 27 May 2010, 18:30, closed)

"I had a blowing exhaust"
Should you have gone to the Pharmacy for motilium instead?
( The Scrunt Wants a Dozen Pints, Thu 27 May 2010, 19:05, closed)

It's even worse when you ride a motorbike
as there are just fewer places out there you can use, with all the joy that brings.
( Olembe Refuses to write in this space, Thu 27 May 2010, 19:13, closed)

Yeah but
if you ride a bike, surely you know what's what with it, what parts are likely to be giving you grief and how to cure them? No scope for you to be sold "new crabbing bushes" is there? I've never had to get any of my bikes repaired professionally, there's always mates who know all about them and love coming round and sorting it out. After all, you can get a bike into the lounge, you can do it in the warm and dry, watching the telly.
(Rsoles, Thu 27 May 2010, 20:06, closed)

I'm a Grease Monkey and....
WE do not rip people off, if a car comes in for service unless it is safety related we just advise the customer,if safety related we ask for authorisation before we do it. Customers are encouraged to talk to us, and I have refused to road test vehicles due to their dangerous state and this has been written on the invoice. End result we are booking for three weeks time at the moment we are that busy. Word of mouth is a powerful thing
(johnners hitting things with hammers until they work, Thu 27 May 2010, 20:02, closed)

find somewhere busy
Busy garages are busy for a reason, the more work they have, the less they need to milk the customers, creating a large and trusting customer base.

If the garage can fit you in today, they're probably on their arses and need to rape you for as much money as possible.

Of the five garages most local to me, two of them are booking services and MOT's for three weeks away and the the others can fit you in today. Guess which ones you wouldn't want to go anywhere near?

(not in the trade myself, but best friend owns a garage and wife works for one as well).
( Linbox has a serious dunk habit, Thu 27 May 2010, 20:56, closed)

Smugness
I live in a smallish village near the Lakes and my mechanic is fantastic, not only does he always consult us if there might be more work doing but generally it takes him 6 months to sort out getting an invoice together... Now I know this isnt typical but just thought I would gloat.
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 28 May 2010, 7:45, closed)