Lactation Consultants ...
Yes really. That's what the obtuse mumsy know-it-all condescending cows are actually called.

They stick to the 'breast is best' mantra no matter what the circumstance, genuinely believing the guff that they spout, such as;

Even adoptive mothers can breastfeed
Your supply will come up to the baby's demand in a few weeks
Breastfeeding is 100% natural and painfree
Don't mix breast and bottle, the baby will get 'nipple confusion' WTF!

No shit. These brainwashed morons will keep trying to convince you to put up with your hungry infant's screams for the sake of a party line.

I am firmly convinced that milk supply is as variable as fertility. One woman might produce only one child in a 10 year period, whilst her neighbour, despite her finest efforts, has 8. By the same token, some women can struggle to feed one infant, whereas others can breastfeed triplets and still have a freezer-ful of milk to donate to medical science every week.

Have any of these lactation consultants read a novel more than 200 years old? Infants died in their hundreds and not just through disease and poor hygiene. Wetnursing, was born of this need.

Say what you will about Nestle, but access to formula and clean water is as important to infant mortality rates as good obstetric care.

Breast is best, but bottle is a lot better than a screaming hungry infant.
(Que?, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 8:39, 20 replies)

Fortunately,
in our experience, it's a lot less YOU MUST DO THIS, and a bit more take it as it comes. My first was quite obvious in his need to move on. Both mother and baby did well as a result.
Clicky to you.
( Blind Meach Cautiously optimistic, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 9:28, closed)

I agree
Mrs teddybear has no problems expressing (in fact quite the opposite: when our little un doesn't feed her milk backs up) but I know women who have struggled greatly with this.

I would like to also point out that a friend of mine wrote a paper on breast vs. bottle, and apparently after a month, the clincal study showed no beneficial difference between the two. In the first month breast is important for bonding, conveying natural immunity and incresaed nutrition, but after a month bottle and formula are just as good!
(satanstolemyteddybear Mu hõljuk on angerjaid täis, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 9:35, closed)

Totally agree!
I'm a breast feeding peer supporter, have breast fed both my kids and am fully of the opinion that if you can't, don't get stressed out about it - a bottle will do fine! Being a parent is stressful enough in the early days, and yes, it is best - BUT ONLY IF YOU CAN AND YOU FEEL COMFORTABLE! Our local maternity unit has stopped providing bottles and milk, but the support for nursing mums has mysteriously dwindled......Post natal ward nurses - now that's a profession I don't like! (apologies to all decent, caring hardworking post natal ward nurses out there)
(pussy twaddle performs indiscretions in branches of Millets..., Wed 2 Jun 2010, 9:40, closed)

Clicks a lot
My first son just wouldn't breastfeed. We were told to try cup feeding him so he didn't get used to a bottle but eventually thought 'fuck it' and chucked a bottle of expressed milk down his throat and saw him properly relax for the first time since he's been born. my wife then spent the next few months hooked up to an industrial milking machine to try and keep up with him but he was a hungry little bugger and we needed to top up with a bit of formula. the guilt that the fucking NCT lay on you is ridiculous. He's rarely ill and i don't think it matters a jot so long as you feed your baby somehow. my second son was boob all the way and is much less robust.

argh, this really gets me ranty, breat feed if you can, if not, bottles really are fine too.
(Alphabet Soap boshboshboshbosh, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 10:07, closed)

Agree 100%!
Ignore the breast feeding Nazis and do what's right for you. Simples.
(FiatPanda, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 10:28, closed)

oh ffs
who are these breast feeding nazis? seriously?
( ascorbate, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 10:35, closed)

Oh met loads of them
The sort of people who have a religious fanaticism to all things birth and sproglet related. Usually prey on new mothers who don't know better. They are usually told by mothers who are experienced to F.R.O.

Can be characterised by patronising attitude, hatred of all persons with a penis, and and unwavering certainty that what they have read in the latest fashionable book is correct. Usually childless.

Note: Various methods have been used to raise babies over the years. Babies are robust and the human race hasn't died out yet
(Sir Tainley Barking Ezekiel 23:20, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 11:14, closed)

well
it depends on the consultant. and they are normally only called that in the states. in the uk they are generally called breastfeeding counsellors. Apart from one really dreadful one (Clare Byam Cook), they mostly seem to be there to help women who want help with breast feeding. And help with breast feeding does normally involve reassuring the mother that it is normal that the child will feed constantly for the first few weeks, to get the supply up. Nipple confusion is occasionally a problem - so it is worth warning about it. All the BFCs I've met have been very calm, and have even said formula isn't the end of the world - you've maybe just come across some bad ones.
Also, most will agree that breast is best, but that doesn't mean that bottle is worst.
(and don't feed your father: www.takeaweirdbreak.com/2010/05/erm.html)
( ascorbate, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 10:34, closed)

I agree with this
All good breastfeeding supporters are pro-breast, not anti-bottle.

Clare Byam Cook's advice is completely ridiculous, but actually her only redeeming feature is that she does genuinely make women feel good about the decision they have made, whether they carry on breastfeeding or switch to bottles or some kind of mix of the two.

Although Que is right about one thing - it's usually the ones who charge and the ones who call themselves "consultants" who lay on the guilt trips. That and harrassed midwives and health visitors who want to tick the box on the form which says "discussed breastfeeding".
(Marmite Omelette ...but I feel better having screamed, don't you?, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 11:34, closed)

yes
I agree with this!
'it's usually the ones who charge and the ones who call themselves "consultants" who lay on the guilt trips. That and harrassed midwives and health visitors who want to tick the box on the form which says "discussed breastfeeding".'
luckily I've not had to deal with any who charge for their services, and we have a great HV team locally - so I haven't encountered too many guilt trippers!
( ascorbate, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 9:40, closed)

^ vitC
Are you serious?

WTF is nipple confusion supposed to be? An ultimately fatal condition that results in lesbianism once the infant eventually hits puberty? A cause of asthma perhaps? Or just some hokum dreamt up by a lactation consultant who has run out of science?

I'm calling the Mythbusters. Adam and Jamie should have a hoot with this one.
(Que?, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 4:46, closed)

nipple confusion
is maybe a stupid term, but describes a genuine problem whereby a baby cannot latch on to the mother because it is confused by the use of bottle teats/dummies. see www.breastfeeding.com/all_about/all_about_confusion.html for further information :-)
( ascorbate, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 9:38, closed)

Liars!
What struck me about the whole experience was that, prior to the birth, the benefits of breastfeeding are rammed down your throat so forcefully and continuously that you feel horrendously guilty if you later think about giving it up. It's made to sound like some magical fairy land of bonding and happiness (also possibly unicorns on candyfloss clouds). What is not mentioned is that it can sometimes be difficult to get junior to feed and that there are unpleasant and common side effects such as pain, mastitis and hormone disruption.

I reckon that a happy, relaxed and pain-free mother is probably of massive benefit to the child, even compared with getting breast milk. So give it a try to start with and if you can't do it and/or it's making you miserable then (i) you're not alone and (ii) don't feel guilty about finding some method of feeding that works for you.

ETA: Also, nipple shields can be well worth looking into.
(flimflam_machine, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 12:08, closed)

Agree with this one
Mrs Tango gave birth to our gorgeous little boy in December and we were both determined to try our hardest to breastfeed him. Unfortunately, Mrs T really struggled with her supply coming in, wasn't able to feed him enough and he was losing weight fast, so we had to put him on the bottle and he's now a fat little wriggler!
(Sir Itchalot has a very self-referential signature, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 14:05, closed)

I'd like to see you try!
Did you have one of those fake boobies?

I am glad though he's doing well, good luck!
( Blind Meach Cautiously optimistic, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 14:12, closed)

A lady I know was reduced to tears by one of these 'consultants'
She was berated for 'not trying hard enough' when it came to breastfeeding and called a bad mother for giving her baby formula. Apparently, the 'lactation professional' or whatever she was called didn't think it was important that the lady in question was a breast cancer survivor with no ability to produce milk at all! The level to which some people will sink to promote their agendas never fails to disgust me.
(louveciennes , Volvospotter, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 17:41, closed)

"Say what you will about Nestle, but access to formula and clean water is as important to infant mortality rates as good obstetric care".
As I understand it:
Nestle gave away free formula milk to breastfeeding mothers in Africa and then when they'd switched over and stopped producing milk themselves, started charging the mothers for the formula milk.

So you're saying that Formula milk is important but also noting Nestle's involvement regarding this?
(Evilweevil is covered in bees, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 18:37, closed)

If I remember correctly ...
Nestle were giving away free formula as part of the big old 80s Bono and Geldof dick pulling thing. The African mothers accepted the gift graciously and then mixed it with the local (filthy) water, resulting in scores of dead infants who otherwise might have made to the age of 2 before they started to starve in earnest.

Aquifiers people! Not goats!
(Que?, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 4:50, closed)

Clicky
My wife felt under a lot of pressure with our first child to breast feed but got very little support and felt really bad when she had to switch to bottle feeding.

For our second child the hospital were better but my wife had to give up breast feeding when it turned out we have a hungry monster for a child (he was having almost twice the amount that babies that age were expected to be having!). One three hour feeding session was the final straw. Again, all the pro-breast feeding propaganda made her feel bad and that she'd failed.

Breast feeding might be better but I doubt the difference between breast and non-breast feeding is that much. We've got a happy, healthy, clever & enegetic two year old who is testament to that.
(Hagis, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 23:56, closed)

I agree with the last line.
Over in Switzerland, 97% of mothers breastfeed and it's almost impossible to buy more than a few days' worth of formula milk at a time (even with this being the home of Nestle...).
Wet nursing was most often used in rather well-off families, rather than mostly out of medical necessity. Child mortality rates were also mostly due to diseases we've nearly wiped out through vaccination.
Not everyone can get on with breastfeeding and there's no shame in not being able to do it, but I'd like to get those people who won't even try it because "it'll make my breasts saggy" and smack them with a big fucking salmon round the face. Similarly, I don't like those who make a big guilt trip over those that try and can't do it.
The Mrs breastfed both of ours and found the biggest problem was the conflicting advice from the midwives - every shift change would bring a new chorus of "you're doing it wrong." When we got her out of there, it became a lot easier without the stress of being stood over while trying to get on with it. One thing the midwives forget about is that it's a learning process for the baby and the mother - the instinct is there, but it needs a little work at first.
Also, nipple confusion isn't a problem - we mixed in a few bottles as well and it was fine. It meant the Mrs could go out to relax for a bit and I could feed the little blighters.
If nothing else, we got far more sleep than other people who bottle fed (especially as we had them in the bed with us when they were small). No getting up to make bottles, no sitting up feeding at whatever time - just a case of roll over, plug in and doze off. As such, from a week old, they were both sleeping a solid eight hours a night, apart from feeds which meant that the Mrs only had to wake up for a minute or two each time.
( Colonel Boris "...a desperate Buzzfeed imitation...", Thu 3 Jun 2010, 0:07, closed)