I could hardly piss straight with fear.
A man with three-quarters of an inch of brain had taken a dislike to me.

What have I done to offend him? I don't consciously offend big men like this.

And this one has a definite imbalance of hormone in him.

Get any more masculine than him, you'd have to live up a tree.

*reads from wall*

"I fuck arses." Who fucks arses?

Maybe he fucks arses.

Maybe he's written this in some moment of drunken sincerity?

I'm in considerable danger in here.

I must get out of here at once.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 8:41, 20 replies)

Well stop typing on b3ta and run, fool!
( enoughblueskyforsailorstrousers, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 8:46, closed)

Perfumed ponce!
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 8:54, closed)

WHAT FUCKER?!?...
*gulp*

I have a heart condition...

If you hit me, it's murder.

*sniffs* my wife is having a baby

etc
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Thu 12 Feb 2009, 9:06, closed)

I think I need to go out and buy it tomorrow and have a good watch
I can hear their voices when I read these lines...

it's been too long since I last had my fix of the greatest film ever
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 9:12, closed)

Ah, I could quote it all day...

"Here.hare.here"

"I shall have you...even if it's burglary"

"Right, here's the plan. First, we go in there and get wrecked, then we eat a pork pie, then we drop a couple of Surmontil-50's each, which means we'll miss out on Monday and come up smiling Tuesday morning."
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Thu 12 Feb 2009, 9:21, closed)

sneaks in...
I don't feel good. Look my thumbs have gone weird
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 9:27, closed)

Monty you terrible
CUNT.

My grandparents know the actor, who broke one of their chairs with his impressive girth. I've never met him though, shame really.
( I_Was_Mordred, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 10:52, closed)

Let's put it this way
I knew the relationship was wrong when I called her "Withnail" and she told me I wasn't the first partner she had to call her that.

Oh dear oh dear oh dear.
( I_Was_Mordred, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 10:53, closed)

GETINTHEBACKOFTHEVAN!
.
( girlinthehole, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 9:36, closed)

there's a video on youtube
where someone has taken that clip and made it into a dance tune.

fucking hilarious.

edit: no longer on youtube, but search for Get in the back of the van by Swede Mason

I literally cried with laughter
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 9:41, closed)

I have only just found out...

That 'And I's name was 'Marwood'

\is shocked
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Thu 12 Feb 2009, 9:47, closed)

I have the special edition DVD
and it says his name inside the booklet bit.

Doesn't mention it on the actual credit of the film though does it?
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 9:52, closed)

I didn't know that!
exciting

and mildly disappointing
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 9:53, closed)

If you have the soundtrack
there is a piece of music called Marwood's Theme.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 10:00, closed)

There is still debate...

Over Marwood's first name.

Rumour has it that it is 'Peter' but that is based on misheard quotes and is never mentioned anywhere.

Marwood was mentioned in the book and screenplay without a first name...and 'Marwood' is written on a letter he receives in the film.

Also just found out that in the book, Withnail commmits suicide by pouring red wine down Monty's gun and pulling the trigger as he drinks out of it...but that was removed from the screenplay for being 'too dark'

Haunting.
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Thu 12 Feb 2009, 10:12, closed)

that is haunting
I should read the book
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 10:24, closed)

Ha ! That's good !
Maybe you could stick around... You never know, you might like a spot of anal rapage. Probably works like a colonic irrigation.
( SpankyHanky, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 11:12, closed)

hmm
if you find yourself holding onto a rising a balloon you are faced with a difficult decision, do you let go before it's too late or hang on till it gets higher and higher . . . .


or words to that effect... also who left that rather large spade in the bath ?
(The Cats Twat, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 13:19, closed)

Scrubbers!

(raymond "three griddle pans" luxury yacht lovin' the christmas action, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 14:46, closed)

Piss off
grandad!
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 15:19, closed)