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This is a question Pure Fury

A friend's dad once stormed up to me and threatened to "punch your stupid face in" because I pointed a camera at him. I was 11. Have you ever done something innocent or made a harmless joke that ended in threats to your person? Tell us about it.

Thanks to Skullfunkerry for the suggestion

(, Thu 26 Sep 2013, 12:28)
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Outside of b3ta (and Sickipedia)...
I wouldn't touch anyone under 20.

Back to normal service anyway...
(, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 22:35, 1 reply)
it's good that you feel this is a safe place to share your repressed desires, however repugnant we might find them
www.b3ta.com/questions/darkness/post490062/
"I was at the time madly in love with this girl, I shall call her Heidi, for that was her name. She was 15."

www.b3ta.com/questions/wankbank/post1713528/
"And for the record: Shagging a 15 year old when you're 22 doesn't make you a nonce.Interfering with girls of primary school age (or younger) - now that makes you a nonce"

www.b3ta.com/questions/schooldays/post356522/
"I got kicked out of primary school...
...for fingering a girl behind the bike sheds."

www.b3ta.com/questions/gettingolder/post414580/
"I'm quite a bit older than gf. She's not young enough to be my daugher or anything but still more than a 10-year age gap"


www.b3ta.com/questions/cougars/post323857/
"Wait for 6 years...
and shag the daughter? "
(, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 22:40, closed)
I'm glad that all of this incriminating nonce evidence is being collated into a paedo-file.

(, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 23:05, closed)
Selective quoting again, I see...
From the first linked post, immediately before the quoted text:

"Right, I shall put the year at around 1992, so I'd have been about 14. And hormones were raging."

So, chasing after a 15-year-old when you're 14. Problem? Not likely.

Next, quoting two obviously facetious posts out of context? Spot on. We can all do that! Just like why you shouldn't shag a midget with learning difficulties - it's not big and it's not clever.

And taking a quite deep posting about a (now-ex) gf who was sexually abused as a kid, then pulling it out of context? Well sorry, but that's the lowest of the low.
(, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 23:26, closed)
Tell you what, maybe stop bragging about how you, a grown man, had sex with underagers?

(, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 23:30, closed)
Oh whoopee-doo...
...so when I was 22 I nailed some girl less than a week before her 16th birthday - and we were in France at the time, so completely legal (unless your name's Jeremy Forrest, which mine isn't). Remember boys & girls, AOC in France is 15.

Next question?

(Starting to remember why I stopped coming on here now... but as I've got more time on my hands these days I'll just keep feeding the trolls, it's entertaining.)
(, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 23:35, closed)
I think that is wrong
Actually under countries linked by the MLAT (or something like that); it is an offence to travel to another country and perform an action which would be an offence in your own country. It is designed, amongst other things, to stop massive paedos from being sex tourists.
I assume you will now list Far East Asian countries which aren't covered by MLAT seeing as you seem to be setting yourself up as paedo travel agent?
(, Tue 1 Oct 2013, 0:20, closed)
You think wrong then...
There is, I believe, a provision in the Sexual Offences Act 2003 for this, however it's pretty much unenforceable throughout the EU due to a little thing called the Human Rights Act 1998, article 7, paragraph 1:

"No one shall be held guilty of any criminal offence on account of any act or omission which did not constitute a criminal offence under national or international law at the time when it was committed."

So, go to France with a group of friends, end up shagging one friend's younger sister a week before her 16th birthday - an act which is legal in the country you're in - and there's nothing anyone can do.

If you remember the Jeremy Forrest / Megan Stammers case, they could only issue a European Arrest Warrant for the offence of abduction (because that was still an offence under French law). They couldn't do anything about him shagging her, because it wasn't an offence under the French jurisdiction. Although I believe they got her to admit that he'd porked her whilst in the UK, hence the s.9 charge he got convicted of.

Translated from legalese to b3tan - get your fucking facts straight and do your research before posting bullshit, you faggot!
(, Tue 1 Oct 2013, 5:18, closed)
Do your research before posting bullshit?
See OP
(, Tue 1 Oct 2013, 8:15, closed)
So what you're saying is you only act on your lustful feelings towards children if you know you can get away with it?

(, Tue 1 Oct 2013, 8:19, closed)
Impressive knowledge of the law surrounding having sex with children here.
It's almost like you're protesting too much here.
(, Tue 1 Oct 2013, 8:38, closed)
Impressive knowledge of the law?
Perhaps that's because I'm employed within the legal system, dumbass?
(, Tue 1 Oct 2013, 9:08, closed)
He's a cop-punching lawyer and he's protecting little girls, yeah!
He'll smash you in and you'll alway lose, 'cos he always wins, yeah!
He's a cop-punching lawyer in the Fight For Right,
He's gonna start speeding so hold on tight!
He knows about the law and he'll kick your ass
And it was only his cousin so he gets a free pass!

He's a cop-punching lawyer, YEAH!
(, Tue 1 Oct 2013, 9:20, closed)
This for Christmas number 1

(, Tue 1 Oct 2013, 9:30, closed)
I'm thinking Kanye remixes, I'm thinking covers, I'm thinking limited release for the Hallowe'en market ...
This is gonna be big!
(, Tue 1 Oct 2013, 9:45, closed)
IANAL
however I am on a retainer for a law firm's IT service contract.
(, Tue 1 Oct 2013, 10:20, closed)
Just when I thought this thread couldn't get any better, you go and top it all.
Seriously, you should be very proud of the whole thread, but this comment is priceless.
(, Tue 1 Oct 2013, 10:48, closed)
Oh my.
"I KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT I AM EMPLOYED WITHIN THE LEGAL SYSTEM as a tech support monkey."
(, Tue 1 Oct 2013, 11:20, closed)
Oh, good lord.
That's a bit like saying that the guy who cleans the windows is the next Master of the Rolls.
(, Tue 1 Oct 2013, 11:30, closed)
To be fair, I AM The Master Of The Rolls, and I did clean a window once.
Well - I've certainly looked out of one, anyway.
(, Tue 1 Oct 2013, 11:38, closed)
Ah - I hadn't realised that that was a judge's wig.
I thought it was your natural hair.
(, Tue 1 Oct 2013, 11:40, closed)
*flicks shimmering locks in slow-motion*

(, Tue 1 Oct 2013, 11:43, closed)
Because...
I'm worth it!
(, Tue 1 Oct 2013, 11:52, closed)
Well ...
I am, at least.
(, Tue 1 Oct 2013, 11:58, closed)
If by 'it' you mean 'getting locked up and placed on a sex offenders register specifically for bullshitting internet hardmen'
Then yes, you definitely are.
(, Tue 1 Oct 2013, 12:38, closed)
hahaha

(, Tue 1 Oct 2013, 18:40, closed)
You get paid to keep mouthy coppers in check?
Nice work if you can get it.
(, Tue 1 Oct 2013, 9:28, closed)
TOP INTERNET LAWYER

(, Tue 1 Oct 2013, 9:43, closed)
DEAR INTERNET USER
HOW MAY I ASSIST YOU TODAY?
(, Tue 1 Oct 2013, 10:00, closed)
I doubt this very much.

(, Tue 1 Oct 2013, 9:55, closed)
I'm not sure being in prison counts as employment.

(, Tue 1 Oct 2013, 10:01, closed)
Hahahaha!

(, Tue 1 Oct 2013, 10:06, closed)
News flash...
Inmates are not permitted Internet access in any way, shape or form, unless on day-release, and even then, only if not prohibited by their licence conditions.
(, Tue 1 Oct 2013, 10:21, closed)
They aren't permitted drugs or mobile phones either
but that doesn't seem to stop prisons being awash with them
(, Tue 1 Oct 2013, 11:16, closed)
Don't argue with him, he's on the IT helpdesk at a lawyers office, he'll have you thrown in internet jail.

(, Tue 1 Oct 2013, 11:23, closed)
Not if you punch him first.
Apparently that's a 100% reliable way to have all accusations against you dropped.
(, Tue 1 Oct 2013, 11:31, closed)
You seem to know an awful lot about being in prison...

(, Tue 1 Oct 2013, 12:27, closed)

And the sexual offences act 2003
(, Tue 1 Oct 2013, 12:59, closed)
All in the public domain...
Sexual Offences Act 2003

You just have to understand a bit of Legalese.
(, Tue 1 Oct 2013, 13:17, closed)
Ah, I did wonder when the Legalese Defence was going to rear its ugly head ...

(, Tue 1 Oct 2013, 14:45, closed)
Have you read this thread?
HE'S TROLLING THE TROLLS, YOU IDIOT!
(, Tue 1 Oct 2013, 15:04, closed)
So what you are saying is that I was right?
That the sexual offences act 2003 does state that "(a)a United Kingdom national does an act in a country outside the United Kingdom, and
(b)the act, if done in England and Wales, would constitute a sexual offence to which this section applies,the United Kingdom national is guilty in England and Wales] of that sexual offence.

A funny bunch the french (they harboured Polanski for a long while too) and they obviously don't see the inherent issues with a sexual predator grooming a child and coming to their country to avoid paying the appropriate price in their own country. I find it disturbing that you seem to think its big and clever to circumvent laws in the UK which are designed to protect children from being abused and cite a case involving a teacher and a pupil in your defense.

It wouldn't surprise me if you were in the legal trade....paedophiles always seem to get ridiculously lenient sentences so I imagine you're a judge.
(, Tue 1 Oct 2013, 14:51, closed)
Yes, that's the bit I was referring to...
HOWEVER:

Human Rights Act 1998, article 7, paragraph 1:

"No one shall be held guilty of any criminal offence on account of any act or omission which did not constitute a criminal offence under national or international law at the time when it was committed."

Because the Human Rights Act was enacted in 1998, and the Sexual Offences Act in 2003, under the ultra vires principle the existing law takes precedent over the newer law, unless the older law is explicitly repealed. Which, of course, it wasn't.

My point about the Forrest case was that they could only extradite him for child abduction (which is an offence under French law), not underage sex, because she was 15 (which is legal in France), and they couldn't use the "position of responsibility" argument as he'd ceased to be in a position of responsibility the moment he walked out of his teaching job and ran away to France with someone half his age.

Of course, it later transpired that he'd "sexually touched" her whilst in the UK, and thus was also charged under SoA 2003 s.9(1).

I cited that case as it was an excellent example of how that provision of the SoA 2003 is incompatible with the HRA 1998.

(Forrest still got 5 1/2 years, if you remember? So he didn't exactly "get away with it".)
(, Tue 1 Oct 2013, 15:45, closed)
So you got all this law knowledge from fixing a computer in a solicitor's office.
Wow.
(, Tue 1 Oct 2013, 16:57, closed)
Not "fixing"...
Installing and maintaining a server suite, network, a number of workstations, offsite backups etc etc.

It's funny just how much you learn about your client's field of expertise, which in this case happens to be law.
(, Tue 1 Oct 2013, 17:21, closed)
So what you're saying here is that you're a nosy cunt who can't be trusted around data that isn't yours?

(, Tue 1 Oct 2013, 20:19, closed)
Again, not at all...
I wouldn't share it around, but some of the things clients say... for your own amusement... ;-)
(, Tue 1 Oct 2013, 20:44, closed)
DEAR ONLINE PERVERT
THESE ADMISIONS COULD AMOUNT TO REPREHENSIBLE BEHAVIOUR FOR THE PURPOSES OF A BAD CHARACTER APPLICATION DURING YOUR INTERNET TRIAL
(, Tue 1 Oct 2013, 9:59, closed)
French nonce

(, Tue 1 Oct 2013, 17:44, closed)
DEAR INTERNET PREDATOR
I FEEL OBLIGED TO POINT OUT THAT THE AGE OF CRIMINAL RESPONSIBILITY IN ENGLAND & WALES IS 10 YEARS OLD.
(, Tue 1 Oct 2013, 9:58, closed)
Selective quoting, ay
My first comment was flippant, but after a quick click on your replies to QOTW reveals that 80% of your posts to previous questions relate in someway to sex with minors.
I find this rather disturbing, depite your attempts to trivialise it with humour. my fear is that level of obsession might indicate that despite your joking fascade, you may actually be a paedophile, whether latent or active, and a real danger of harming minors.
You seem incapable of understanding why the law would seek to protect 15 year old girls from people such as yourself.
Reading between the lines, and from your other QOTW answers, it seems that you had a disturbed childhood. Perhaps, now as an adult you prefer to regress to childhood in order to get a second chance at the happiness you never had, by seeking inappropriate relations with minors as an adult. This is very similar to Michael Jacksons tragic life. Your OP seems to tick many of these boxes.
(, Tue 1 Oct 2013, 16:11, closed)
Interesting psychology, but wrong
Try "creating an Internet persona that is allowed to break every social taboo, which in real life would probably get you lifed off".

Or, a comment which if made down the pub would get you glassed, on here results in a hilarious exchange of trolling posts. You get to play bait-a-troll. Hours of free entertainment.

To sum up my original post: "Light the blue touch paper and retire immediately to a safe distance."

And believe me, I'm laughing from that safe distance!
(, Tue 1 Oct 2013, 17:25, closed)
if it was just a one-off, I might find this idea that it's all an act convincing. A clever bit of shit-stirring
however, seeing as how you have now told several anecdotes over many months about sex with minors, not all of them as obviously inflamatory as this one, and filled with varying amounts of detail, I don't buy it.
It just sounds like a mix of fantasy and real-life from somebody who confuses the two and thinks a lot about sex with children. I fear the real truth may be even uglier than what you've revealed
(, Tue 1 Oct 2013, 18:53, closed)
There are plenty of people on here who pretend to be cunts for the lols.
I think what worries people is that either you are

1) A paedophile

or that you are going to such great lengths to portray yourself as a disgusting hateful person with absolutely no self control who preys on underage girls that you seem to be getting some sort of sexual thrill from the idea of being

2) A paedophile
(, Tue 1 Oct 2013, 19:03, closed)

What a vile piece of shit.
(, Tue 1 Oct 2013, 2:41, closed)
DEAR INTERNET USER
I AM GRATEFUL TO YOU FOR YOUR KIND ASSISTANCE IN GATHERING THIS IMPORTANT INTERNET EVIDENCE
(, Tue 1 Oct 2013, 10:14, closed)
Just doing my duty as a good internet citizen, INTERNETLAWYERMAN

(, Tue 1 Oct 2013, 19:33, closed)

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