Festivals
There is nothing like the feeling of standing on stage as the sun sets, a warm breeze washing over you that carries on it a cumulative smell of wood smoke, hash, and unwashed hippies, as you prepare to play your first song.

As the season starts, tell us about your music festival experiences, good and bad.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 10 May 2011, 12:41, Reply)

Hobbies that didn't Last
What things have you picked up and put down almost as quickly? Why did you decide they were a bad idea? Why did you pick them up in the first place?

For example:

-I started learning contact juggling in April. After accidentally smashing a biscuit jar into an unsuspecting photo frame, I decided I couldn't afford to keep being crap at it long enough to learn.

-My sister-in-law wanted me to teach her belly dancing. She spent out on all the shimmys and crop tops, and then gave up after a month because she was embarrassed by the excessive surface wobbling involved.

-A friend wanted to learn to sing. She gave up after two weeks because her teacher couldn't stand the sound of her voice and convinced her to quit.
(Sivvus trolley collision in the fruit aisle led to a jam, Sun 8 May 2011, 0:37, Reply)

Babies
I held my newborn son up against the ceiling and sang "Spider-Baby, Spider-Baby, does whatever a Spider-Baby does". Tell us your infantile stories.
( Purple Martin is board sigless, Fri 6 May 2011, 4:34, 1 reply, 14 years ago)

Childish Money Making Schemes and Inventions
My demented mum recently confided in me that she and her brother had once thought up a brilliant money making scam when they were kids. They found that upon dunking, rich tea biscuits almost doubled in size. There plan was to buy them in bulk, dunk them in tea and make a tidy profit by selling the inflated cookies at inflated prices. They wondered why no-one else had ever thought of it before.

Needless to say it didn't work out too well.

What childish ideas or inventions have you have and what happened?
( buffet_the_appetite_slayer ٩(●̮̃•)۶ jacked in to the ICE on, Thu 5 May 2011, 14:36, Reply)

Childhood
What did you used to get up to in terms of pissing off your mates, building dens, discovering dead bodies etc? Could be a bit of a 'Stand By Me' week....
(Monkey the Chicken Twitter: death_stairs, Thu 5 May 2011, 13:34, Reply)

Police
Have you ever been arrested? Been thrown down the stairs by the West Midlands Serious Crime Squad, with hi-LAR-ious consequences?

Or maybe you're a member of the police force with chortlesome anecdotes about particularly stupid people you've encountered/ had to take home/ arrested.

Do tell...
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Wed 4 May 2011, 14:00, Reply)

Best/Worst reads
Name and show how some books/pamphlets have changed your lives for better or worse.
( dazbrilliantwhites has been meaning to change this..., Wed 4 May 2011, 13:58, 1 reply, 14 years ago)

Come the revolution, they'll be the FIRST against the wall
Who should be the first against the wall? In other words, what part of the human gene-pool is most in need of chlorine, and why?
(moon monkey is busy making memories worth repressing, Tue 3 May 2011, 13:05, 1 reply, 14 years ago)

Free stuff
Whats the best/weirdest/worst thing you've ever gotten for free, either found or received, or possible even thrown at you?
( dazbrilliantwhites has been meaning to change this..., Sun 1 May 2011, 20:14, Reply)

Your Pace Da Reziztants
Greatest accomplishments. Whats been your life zenith to this point in time? Of accomplishments of others close to you that you are equally proud of.
( dazbrilliantwhites has been meaning to change this..., Thu 28 Apr 2011, 13:51, Reply)

Your username
or any you've ever used. Tell us why?
( dazbrilliantwhites has been meaning to change this..., Wed 27 Apr 2011, 17:36, 3 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

You're a wiener!!!!
Lets have your tales of winning! Or Losing. From your first fifth place ribbon in a spelling bee to the wooden spoon of failure in your local bi weekly pub quiz whats prizes in life have you claimed?
( dazbrilliantwhites has been meaning to change this..., Tue 26 Apr 2011, 14:28, Reply)

Happy times
Because it's a Bank Holiday and the sun is shining and I plan to spend all afternoon in the pub.

Tell us about times when it was all just lovely.
(SnowyTheWereRabbit the Leporid from Hell, Thu 21 Apr 2011, 11:07, 2 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

As recently suggested by dazbrilliantwhites but inexplicably ignored by the voting masses : Best mates
There must be a rich seam of tales involving your trustiest of friends, alcohol, tent pegs, a stuffed otter and a road trip to Llandudno.
( number5 has been fighting tramps and losing., Wed 20 Apr 2011, 19:43, Reply)

And I'll suggest this one again, just in case.
I was cycling to my mate's house recently and out of a side-street shot a man in his 50s in a Dennis the Menace style 'cartie' and cackling like a loony as he did so.

What's the most completely hatstand thing you've ever seen?
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Wed 20 Apr 2011, 16:54, Reply)

I suggested this one years ago, but I'll try again
Barguments:
The utterly absurd and inane debates you have when out on the lash. Such discussions as:

"Which superpower is better, flying or invisibility?"
"How many angry 5 year old kids could you defend yourself against if they all attacked en masse? What about if you had a big stick?"
"What would make a better paralympic sport? Blind turntable archery or flid-boxing?
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Wed 20 Apr 2011, 16:46, 1 reply, 14 years ago)

I had been friends
with the girl across the road since we were both 5. When we were 13, we were walking across an overgrown field/meadow on the edge of town when we started play-fighting. She got me to the floor and pinned me. "Ha!" she said triumphantly, but then I managed to roll and ended up pinning her. Rather than trying to push me off, she wrapped her arms and legs around me and pulled me down onto her but I managed to wriggle free.

Some months later, she admitted that on that July afternoon, the hot sunshine had made her horny as hell and sexy things were going to happen, but my innocence had secured my virginity for another 4 years.

Tell us about your missed opportunities.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Wed 20 Apr 2011, 16:44, Reply)

Genuine double entendres
Picture the scene; a group of boys on a school trip being told by their straight-faced teacher to put their luggage in the "bell-end" of the tent.

I've never known a group of people to laugh for a whole week.
(ThatNiceMan thought he was being funny, Wed 20 Apr 2011, 16:11, Reply)

Your First and your Last...
A good friend recently said to me "There's only two bitches/trips/cigarettes that matter: Your first and your last". So ladies and gentlemen, your "First and Last" stories please.
(aroe_m0rre, Tue 19 Apr 2011, 23:26, Reply)

revenge
not petty revenge, proper revenge 'pon someone that has wronged you.

tbh i'm looking for ideas as i really need to get me some vengeance against a twat of a man who attempted to ruin my life... I have his email address, postal address and phone number...
(gavin_millicent, Tue 19 Apr 2011, 12:42, 11 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

OCD
Do you have to brush your hair 15 times before you leave the house? Do you know someone who can only put their right shoe on before their left, or else something bad will happen to them?

Tell us your tales of obsessive-compulsive behaviour...
(SonoraAeroClub "OH SWEET HELEN OF BALLS!", Mon 18 Apr 2011, 19:52, Reply)

Good/Bad experiences whilst under the influence of drugs!!!
Thought this would bring some interesting stories and teach us about the side effects of them.
(bakerboy, Sun 17 Apr 2011, 21:56, Reply)

Can we do the best friends one now?
Please?
( dazbrilliantwhites has been meaning to change this..., Sun 17 Apr 2011, 11:38, Reply)

There was worst, how about best?
Did/does anyone have/had an easy or fun job?
A colleague was payed to read spam email and mark out signature words -- I wish I had asked for a transfer.
(Me, I'm not... in any way intoxicated, Fri 15 Apr 2011, 18:10, Reply)

Tales from the street.
The funniest things you have seen, or heard walking down the street.
(bROKEN aRROW PUA HVI Master, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 15:21, Reply)

Betrayal
Tell us the tales of those who have fucked you over, and those you have fucked over in turn.
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 14:43, Reply)

Lesson's learned
I once had a female boss who I saw crying, so I asked her what was wrong. An hour later I'd hear about her marriage breaking down, the cancer of a sone of a friend, the ill health of her cat, her broken down car, the 'D' grade acheived by her daughter in English, her failed holiday plans and her broken finger nail.

I learned never to care about a problem experienced by anyone else again*.

What lessons have you learned?

*Well, problems experienced by a collague anyway.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 14:15, 3 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Ooops
I have just cost my ex-next door neighbour the best part of a grand.
He leaves house never to return. I notice old ricketty bench outside and decide i could do with a project and decide to "do it up" and set about taking it apart ready for sanding...

...only the bench is on an inventory, his ex-landlord is a cunt and now ex-neighbour aint getting his bond back...fucksocks!

When have you cost other people their hard earned?
(Pectacular Almost spectacular...but somethings missing!, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 14:00, 1 reply, 14 years ago)