What is the worst attempt to pull, that worked, you have heard?
I watched in amazement as this 'Merican fool told about the time he made a sound, just a noise, that caused a room full of people to fall backwards and enter a new dimension with him. The lass lapped it up.
( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Sat 29 Oct 2011, 0:59, Reply)

Self important Geordies in living Australia?
Ever met any? How big a twat were they?
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 28 Oct 2011, 19:38, 4 replies, latest was 13 years ago)

Window licker in the family?
Tell us about it. Make it as obscene as possible. As many posts about the handicapped as possible.

Let's see if someone else on here can get Legless ranting for two weeks in a row.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 28 Oct 2011, 19:36, Reply)

What's the oldest thing in your house?
(with acknowledgments to some programme on radio 4).
(Smale is stuffed, Fri 28 Oct 2011, 14:29, Reply)

Fascist Fun.
Were you a member of the BNP? Kicked out of the KKK? Chilled out with Combat 18? Lets here your stories of fascist frivolities.
( The Mock Turtle ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Fri 28 Oct 2011, 12:46, Reply)

Racist parents?

( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 27 Oct 2011, 21:13, Reply)

Fatalism / Determinism / Fate / Destiny
I got the job I currently have (in the UK) because a New Zealand couple, who I will never meet, and I will never hear of again, got divorced (on the other side of the world).

What seemingly small or irrelevant incidents have avalanched to shape your life as it stands at the moment?
(SigourneysBeaver took off and nuked the entire site from orbit on, Thu 27 Oct 2011, 19:04, Reply)

What's your favourite ever Legless wobble, and how did it change your life?

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Thu 27 Oct 2011, 13:36, Reply)

Maybe we could all get together and help nopersonality horse to find out what it is like out side his cupboard under the stairs?
We could help by posting images of real thing like bacon and cheese and the glue factory and one day maybe we could actually send him/her/somethinginbetween a postcard with a picture of a real live honest to goodness sheep as well?
( fluffybunnykiller Is feasting on the clitoris of life, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 20:39, Reply)

I thought no-one was looking...
I was on the bus a few months ago, entertaining my 8 month old son by pulling faces and acting like a fool. I didn't realise that a CCTV camera was trained on the area I was sitting and a monitor mounted to the luggage rack was broadcasting me gurning and acting like a mental patient to all of the other passengers until I was maneuvering the pram out of the buggy area.
( Muns, Tue 25 Oct 2011, 12:40, Reply)

Tactlessness
My ex once told me, "That was the best sex I've ever had... Well, apart from with my cousin..."

Come on, this HAS to be a goldmine of funny/cringeworthy stories.
(grandmasterfluffles Come to my Armageddon party on, Tue 25 Oct 2011, 11:57, 3 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Awkward moments with the doctor
I had to visit the cock doctor. He had a work-experience student with him: a young, female student. The doctor lifted up my cock with his pen and said 'Is it always this small?' The student went purple with supressed laughter. Tell everyone about your awkward medical moments.
(Smale is stuffed, Tue 25 Oct 2011, 10:42, 3 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Four minute warning;
like the last one but with less urgency.
(PERSONALITY HORSE Graham Tapes - free download album - coming soon, Mon 24 Oct 2011, 23:14, Reply)

Three minute warning
Amazingly, the world didn't end on Friday, as that loony preacher had predicted. But if it was ending, and you knew it, what would you do? How would you spend your last few hours or minutes?
(moon monkey is busy making memories worth repressing, Mon 24 Oct 2011, 14:34, Reply)

Food everywhere.
Stories about food going everywhere. I spilt some gravy once but it only went on my shirt. I bet these fat pricks have much better stories with the amount of food they must get through.
Furthermore, PERSONALITY HORSE FOR THE UK'S EUROVISION ARTISTS IN MAY.
(PERSONALITY HORSE Graham Tapes - free download album - coming soon, Mon 24 Oct 2011, 9:56, Reply)

Tell us about your favourite wee.

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Sun 23 Oct 2011, 23:07, 2 replies, latest was 13 years ago)

How about getting Personality HOrse a life and some thing interesting to talk about?
like this one time in a shop i met some one and said some thing
or
there i was queuing at Macdonald's when i realized that i had my cock/twat* out and was waiting to be scrapped by the VD clinic nurse but was in the wrong place? oh how we laughed



*choose as desired but make sure you look first
( fluffybunnykiller Is feasting on the clitoris of life, Sun 23 Oct 2011, 22:14, Reply)

Horse stories.
Stories about horses.
Horses with personalities.

Once when I was in the New Forest I came across a dead horse. Something had had a go at it and its giblets were all hanging out.

See? Horse stories are ace!
(PERSONALITY HORSE Graham Tapes - free download album - coming soon, Sun 23 Oct 2011, 7:54, 3 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Mobile phone stories.
Everyone loves a good mobile phone story. Don't love a good mobile phone story? Then get the fuck out of my way, prick.

I went in to Tesco a few weeks ago for a new phone, just a pay as you go one as my contract phone has broken and I needed a cheap replacement while my contract runs out.
The only thing I wanted out of the phone was a microSD slot so I could listen to music on it, so I asked the guy in the phone department if the phone I was looking at had one (I forget the make of the phone, it was one of the £20 ones, you can look on the Tesco website if you'd like more info). He said he didn't know. Didn't bother looking it up or anything, just said he didn't know and walked off. In the end I went to Asda and got the same phone, slightly cheaper. And it did have a microSD slot after all!

Cheers
( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Sat 22 Oct 2011, 14:43, 4 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

What's the funniest thing you've ever done with a biscuit?
(Or more than one biscuit.)
(But not a packet of biscuits.)
(Unless the wrapper has been removed.)
(Basically, any number of biscuits, as long as no wrappers are involved.)
(I suppose we could make an exception for Viscounts, though.)
(PERSONALITY HORSE Graham Tapes - free download album - coming soon, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 14:43, Reply)

How many cornflakes were there in the last packet of cornflakes you had?

(PERSONALITY HORSE Graham Tapes - free download album - coming soon, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 14:41, Reply)

If you were god, would you believe in yourself?

(PERSONALITY HORSE Graham Tapes - free download album - coming soon, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 14:40, 1 reply, 13 years ago)

What's the biggest animal you've been in a fight with?
Did you win or are you homosexual? Why are dolphins such pricks? If Jesus had fought an animal what animal would he have fought?
I'd love to go at a gibbon with a bit of 2x4.
(PERSONALITY HORSE Graham Tapes - free download album - coming soon, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 14:39, Reply)

What's the worst text you have ever sent when drunk?
And not 'Oooh you are so hot' to your nan. Unless it was not accidental.
(DubstepBetty Down wiv der kids since 1972, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 17:02, Reply)

What's the worst thing you've masturbated to?
Suggested by Rob on That Twitter, this one can only end badly
( Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Wed 19 Oct 2011, 13:23, 6 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

seconding racist grandparents.
we've all got one. my nan told me not to eat orange peel as 'black men had touched it'. my ex-father in law doesn't mind darkies as 'it's not their fault, and they can't half dance'. my husband's mad auntie joan accused the man seven doors down of stealing her milk as he was the first black neighbour she came to. she doesn't even get her milk delivered.
( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Wed 19 Oct 2011, 11:21, 6 replies, latest was 13 years ago)

Racist grandparents.

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Wed 19 Oct 2011, 11:18, 2 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Meeting the internet
How/why/when did you first meet up in real life with someone you met on the internet. How much did you/they regret it.
( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 9:42, Reply)

Going out in style
Have you ever made a dramatic, satisfying or very embarrassing exit from a workplace, relationship or sleepy village filled with curtain-twitchers?
(IHateSprouts is baking a huge pie shaped like an enormous pie, Fri 14 Oct 2011, 10:03, 2 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

You're weird!
Growing up, I was often told I was weird because I didn't drink tea fifteen times a day. Have you ever been told how weird you are?
(NoeI «:::P:::» «:::E:::» «:::R:::» «:::V:::» «:::E:::», Thu 13 Oct 2011, 19:07, Reply)