Have you ever killed a man?
With hilarious consequences?
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 20 Jun 2013, 14:16, 2 replies, latest was 11 years ago)

Security and Bouncers.
I work in this industry on occassions. Tell us about the shit we've given you, or the shit you've put us through.
( Muns, Thu 20 Jun 2013, 13:24, Reply)

Psychics
But you *knew* I was going to say that
( Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Thu 20 Jun 2013, 13:16, 2 replies, latest was 11 years ago)

Who DID put the 'Ram' in the 'Ramma Lamma Ding Dong'?
Was it YOU?
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 20 Jun 2013, 11:07, Reply)

Laundry Woes :(
Ever struggled to get something clean? Ever had a stubborn stain that even Persil can't get out? Ever find the washing machine to be just too complicated for your tiny brain to figure out?
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 20 Jun 2013, 11:05, Reply)

Pierworms
Tell us about the unexpected garden fauna you encounter while taking a stroll at the seaside.
( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 19 Jun 2013, 21:25, 1 reply, 11 years ago)

Learworms
Tell us about the time you stowed away one of the gardener's friends on your private jet.
( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 18 Jun 2013, 21:50, Reply)

Tearworms
Tell us about the time you really upset the creatures in your garden.
( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 18 Jun 2013, 20:14, Reply)

Beerworms
Tell us about the last time you took invertebrates out on the piss.
( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 18 Jun 2013, 16:55, Reply)

Alien Abductions
Ever been abducted by aliens? KNOW anyone who has? Of course not...but it won't stop you telling us about it, will it!
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 18 Jun 2013, 10:33, Reply)

Suicide.
Ever killed yourself? Did it hurt? What would you have done differently?

Perhaps you failed in your attempt? Amuse us all with tales of how you are such a failure that you couldn't even manage to top yourself properly.

Are you teetering on the brink right now? Share your woes and let a bunch of strangers laugh at your misfortune and offer creative methods by which you could ease that pain.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 17 Jun 2013, 8:51, 1 reply, 11 years ago)

Earworms
Tell us the songs that are really hard to get out of your head.

I'm suggesting this while rubbing my hands together and chortling with evil glee.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Sun 16 Jun 2013, 23:10, Reply)

best friend/friends
It's simple enough. What have they done to earn the title? What crazy misadventures did they help you hide the body on etc etc...
( dazbrilliantwhites has been meaning to change this..., Sun 16 Jun 2013, 22:53, Reply)

Good policies for UKIP
They need some, so lets help.

We need to put the "Great" back into Great England.

Everyone likes a steam train, so let's replace those awful European electrical abominations with real trains - don't forget that Robert Louis Stephenson invented them right here.

Commuters will be smiling all the way to work and as a result all productivity might increase by as much as some percent.

I reckon we can help Nigel Garage no end here...
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Sun 16 Jun 2013, 18:34, 3 replies, latest was 11 years ago)

Boston and New York are approximately 280 miles apart.
One Train leaves Boston traveling towards New York at an average speed of 80mph. Another train leaves New York at the same time traveling toward Boston at an average speed of 60 mph. (a) How long will it take them to meet? (b) How far has each train traveled when they meet?
( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 16 Jun 2013, 16:24, 5 replies, latest was 11 years ago)

puddings

( mictoboy shitting in your cunt since, Sat 15 Jun 2013, 23:39, 1 reply, 11 years ago)

Crime and punishment.
Do miscreants get their just desserts? If not what sentence would you give, appropriate to specific crimes?
And are there acts that aren't crimes but should be? Here's your chance to be legislate, judge and punish.
( edjogs Collared doves are shit., Sat 15 Jun 2013, 21:03, 2 replies, latest was 11 years ago)

Social Media Meltdowns
Ever been mightily in your cups after a night out at the local discotheque, returned home and shunned sleep in favour of baring your arse to the world on facebook/twitter/mumsnet with an ill-judged comment or rant?

Even better, have you witnessed someone else doing it?
( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Thu 13 Jun 2013, 11:50, Reply)

North Versus South
Everyone knows that beer in the south isn't right. In the north we apparently haven't even got electricity. When were you mystified by the ways of the other (North/South) ?
( Locus213 Slightly to the left of Bakunin, Thu 13 Jun 2013, 8:47, 3 replies, latest was 11 years ago)

Your life is ridiculous, futile and pathetic.
What fantasies of success do you harbour?
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 11 Jun 2013, 12:27, Reply)

You get evicted. How do you get revenge?
Your landlord evicted you because you have fun in your apartment and all the other cunts that live here like using their voices.

How do you get revenge when you leave?
( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Sat 8 Jun 2013, 0:08, Reply)

Who would you let piss on you.
It's simple.

Who?

When?

Wearing what?

Why?

And would you drink it or just tell your mum like a spaz?
( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Fri 7 Jun 2013, 23:37, Reply)

'idea for a series....'
Alan Partridge's desperate attempts to come up with TV show ideas were hilarious. But can you do better? Do you have an idea superior to 'monkey tennis'?

To give you a starter, mine is 'Game of Crohn's', where all the characters die after shitting their entire intestines into Pringles tubes.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 6 Jun 2013, 17:37, 1 reply, 11 years ago)

B3tan consumer advice
What is your best/worst purchase?
(SnowyTheWereRabbit the Leporid from Hell, Thu 6 Jun 2013, 10:01, Reply)

What's the biggest thing you've ever shoved up your arse?

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Thu 6 Jun 2013, 7:26, 1 reply, 11 years ago)

Questions in films and songs
Do you know any quotes from films, or from popular songs, that have questions in them?
( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 5 Jun 2013, 23:34, 1 reply, 11 years ago)

When b3ta has crossed over into real life.
Has there ever been a time that being a member and reading the fucktard spazwittery on this here site has ever landed you in trouble? Ever called the wrong person at work a hamtoucher? Ever responded with an off the cuff witty pun infused response to a manager only to then struggle to explain why it was hilarious and you demand respect for if?

Just an idea.

Now fuck off.
( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Mon 3 Jun 2013, 20:20, Reply)