Zed...
very quietly hunt them down one by one, leaving their mutilated carcasses hanging at the door of the next intended victim....


Failing that, employ yourself a load of 15-year-old hard lads to gently stamp on said chavs heads while wearing big spiky new rocks.
(bblgoose, Fri 6 Aug 2004, 13:01, Reply)

Indian ...
Lime Pickle or Mango Chutney?
(Zed Smith, Fri 6 Aug 2004, 12:24, Reply)

Prolly been done ...
Daddy or Chips ...
no?
ok then .... here's a serious one ...

If you live next to a housing estate, where a gang of 15 year old chavs have stolen your house mates bike, threatened your friends and keep shooting at you and your pets with an air rifle in the back garden ... what would you do?

Please keep in mind the police can't do shit to them, and if you do anything you'll be arrested (assume you're over 18 ... mentally too)
(Zed Smith, Fri 6 Aug 2004, 10:03, Reply)

my question would be
what is the most despicably immoral thing you've ever done to get your filthy claws on some hummus?
(31337ch3353, Fri 6 Aug 2004, 4:20, Reply)

Your all B3taphiles
As far as I can gather, B3ta is entirely populated by people at work who aren't working,
students displacing wildly and people ignoring their significant others. This must have pissed someone's boss/lover/tutor off at some point.

So - what is the worst insult, putdown or low comment you have recieved as a result of being a b3taphile?
( EasyCheese, Thu 5 Aug 2004, 15:55, Reply)

The most embarrasing poo
everyone does it, but in a public place, it can be a major stress. WHat's yours?
( Scoopzilla http://www.slapwatch.com now get to fuck, Wed 4 Aug 2004, 22:27, Reply)

got some of that
A Tshirt, splattered with paint, full of holes and smelling of cat's pee (left in washing machine too long) . Can't throw it cos it was a pressie from my favourite ex! Really bugs my gf too :)
(foolish_child, Wed 4 Aug 2004, 11:49, Reply)

Utterly useless stuff you just can't throw away
As I write this I'm looking at a shelf containing four box files marked "Empty files", "Empty folders", "More blank stuff" and "Yellow pads" - all full but unopened for at least five years.
( De nada adan eD, Wed 4 Aug 2004, 1:04, Reply)

Whats the best nickname you have ever had
or given and why.

At work we go out and tend to the jobs of the day
while our Boss stays in the office. So we call her the 'Olympic Torch' #cos she never goes out.
( Chumfatty, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 17:56, Reply)

the strangest place you have ever fallen asleep......
I once fell asleep up a tree after a night of heavy drinking. I woke up with twigs and leaves in my hair.
(sugarcoatednoodlemonkey, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 12:15, Reply)

Along the same lines as the misheard/read
Once while in Benidorm at a Karaoke (spelling?)bar, I (pissed) really wanted to sing "Monkeys to tight to mention" until I realized it was that song by that fat ginger watermelon. So instead toddled of and sang "Paradise City" snake hips and all.
(Feeb is a smooth operator, operating correctly, Mon 2 Aug 2004, 12:34, Reply)

Best misreading/mis-hearing of a word
Like when my sister said she had been to a "sports shop" and my stepmum swore blind that she'd said "sex shop".
( Noit happy baby orangutan, Mon 2 Aug 2004, 10:58, Reply)

Stupidest awnser you/someone else gave without thinking....
In a bio lesson once, the teacher asked us what vital thing trees provide for humans and all animals. My friend puts her hand up and says, like it's obvious, "Paper!" ...And chairs and tables, of course.
(Anchoivies, anchoivies, you're so delicious, I love you more than all the other fishes., Sun 1 Aug 2004, 20:26, Reply)

Most bizarre thing observed whilst driving
Mine would quite easily be the time I was driving to work in Leeds one evening to see a guy stood at the side of the dual carriageway.

With a donkey.

*shrug*
( Biscuitzs -.. . -- ----- ...- -.- --. -.-, Sun 1 Aug 2004, 20:05, Reply)

Best clean joke
In case someone has to suddenly be best man for a wedding.

Cos I know none.
( TechImp is trying to be nice (with great difficulty)., Sun 1 Aug 2004, 0:32, Reply)

quick easy ways to make money that accually work....



to tell you the truth i just need some money...
(Cyrus, Sat 31 Jul 2004, 22:45, Reply)

I propose the question
what is the worst experience that you have ever had while on a school trip.

Mine has to be when I went to Amsterdam on a Business trip and got lost. At night. On my own. With a crazy tramp at Centraal Station asking me if I wanted to be taught on how to use the telephone. His name was Manfred...(starts crying)
(Flagrant Tendencies, Fri 30 Jul 2004, 15:46, Reply)

Do you know the way...
...to San José?
:)
( Pedro El Monkeyboy, Fri 30 Jul 2004, 12:31, Reply)

Call out for stories
with a question like "what is your greatest escape ever?" Bonus points for inclusion of fire-breathing grannies (a whole den of them).

(Pretty good for a first post, don't you agree?)
(Tezcatlipoca, Wed 28 Jul 2004, 21:45, Reply)

I like it!
You could include "What sexual devices have you went and bought and tried and been ripped off by when they've once again turned out to be a useless load of bloody crap"

or something.

which I heard down the pub.

I'd also like to read pages on that fights one and the one about stupid animals, one for the action and one for the bitterness - so consider this a vote for all three!
(foolish_child, Wed 28 Jul 2004, 0:25, Reply)

What sexual deviances have you considered
and why?
( Muns, Wed 28 Jul 2004, 0:17, Reply)

the worlds most pointless animal
useing the combined heads of b3ta we could work what annimal is offically pointless,
was evolution pulling a prank to produce the duck billed platapuss ,or whats the point in those tiney flying natty things which gather round dark spots.
(waikiki, Tue 27 Jul 2004, 21:15, Reply)

Evilest prank you've ever pulled on a mate
Hi this is my first post and I was thinking why dont you ask what the meanest/sickest prank you've ever pulled on a mate is? Sorry if its already been posted...I cant be bothered to look at all of the posts
(newcustomerserviceteam, Tue 27 Jul 2004, 21:03, Reply)

How about:
What was the worst April Fools Prank that was played on you??
(Onionring Um Pa!, Sun 25 Jul 2004, 13:32, Reply)

How many times have you been caught?
How many times doing something you don't want others to know about?
(thread jack, Sat 24 Jul 2004, 21:20, Reply)

Stupid school pranks...
...such as the time some friends and I printed off a shit load of porn and stuck it up around the school. With Blue Tac. In case you're interested, the pictures were of Drew Barrymore, Sabrina the Teenage Witch, and a rather attractive female immaginatively using a horse's cock for her own pleasure. MMmmmmmmm!
(Keiths Dad, Sat 24 Jul 2004, 0:16, Reply)

should ask
for the most interesting names for sex and/or genitals. classics would be, the beast with 2 backs or spaz-hole, meat and two veg,
( filth wizard, Fri 23 Jul 2004, 17:09, Reply)

When was the last time you were involved in a fight?
I mean proper fisticuffs, not just a slanging match. Details to include: opponent(s), reason fight started, location, how old you were/how long ago it was. Oh, and who won of course.
( frunt It's been a while..., Fri 23 Jul 2004, 16:35, Reply)

What's the most humiliating thing that's ever happened to you?
For me it was definitley riding down the high street naked on a horse... wait, no that was a dream. Someone else's dream...doh!
(Rata-tat-atouille, Fri 23 Jul 2004, 10:23, Reply)

mmmmm.
Anal sex disasters
Have you ever murdered a child?
What's in your pocket?
Porn before the internet.
(Bob Hopelessness, Thu 22 Jul 2004, 16:34, Reply)