How do you know you're getting old?
I was picking my nose the other day and realised that I had to use my little finger as no others would fit.

What have you noticed recently that reveals you're getting on a bit?
(misteroz1979, Mon 16 Jan 2006, 15:39, Reply)

Describe the gayest shoes you have ever had.

(Pimms'N'Lemonade thinks you are a twat, prove me wrong., Sun 15 Jan 2006, 20:09, Reply)

If you could be any fictional character, who would you be?
After much discussion during work hours, we decided that most men either want to be James Bond or a Jedi Knight (apart from paul who wants to be optimus prime).

Who would you like to be?
(Bobwithbitchtits, Sun 15 Jan 2006, 19:16, Reply)

phobias
phobias
(babog, Sun 15 Jan 2006, 18:14, Reply)

Howzabout
getting into fights or near scrapes with total strangers. I was at the bus stop with my tripod (camera support thing) over my shoulder and somebody asked me if I was a photographer. No replies I, in a friendly manner I hasten to add, and mentioned my real job. "You've got a tripod so that makes you a photographer you speccy cunt" I was informed. Various other mumblings followed about haw it was just a simple question, what was my problem etc as I walked away trying to look as if I wasn't kacking myself. Fact is, I've watched Bravo and I know the world is brimming with stroppy fuckwits just itching for a punch up with somebody or anybody, so lets hear them tales.
(tinypod will never learn. Ever., Sun 15 Jan 2006, 8:53, Reply)

I know!
We can ask what we can post for question of the week!
(donkeysoup Was last seen on, Sat 14 Jan 2006, 12:07, Reply)

Office games
We have an office game called the Friday Challenge. You have to find to stupidest most outrageus NSFW item on the internet and send it to everyone without being fired. Thank you B3TA, you have been a valuable and secret source of many of my winning entries.
It's time for a new office game - any ideas?
(Peelmytangerines, Thu 12 Jan 2006, 16:46, Reply)

Wishes
you there sitting at you desk wishing you where somewhere else

if you could have one wish what would you wishe for?
( discobunnywalker, Wed 11 Jan 2006, 23:28, Reply)

Blagging your way out
I never thought they'd notice but having biked up a major road when 8 years old with my brother behind and having been told not to use a busy road by my parents I was spotted and yet (believed) I had got away with it.

What have you got away with or though you had?
(tootlepip, Wed 11 Jan 2006, 21:42, Reply)

stupidest and most pointless argument you've ever gotten into / heard
I'm sure we've all got stories like this - two mates of mine once had an argument about the merits of that Junior Senior song. ended up with one of them kicking the other in the shin and walking off in a huff.

it was so weird we couldn't even laugh at them for it.

.
( yes yes yes man oi mate, someone's writtten 'bum' on your neck, Wed 11 Jan 2006, 13:12, Reply)

What was your favourite Crystal Maze challenge?
Or of course, you could make one up of your own.
(David Fishwick Minibus Sales - notmad.co.uk, Mon 9 Jan 2006, 18:30, Reply)

MUNTERS!
We've all been there and quite literally done that, and there is ALWAYS a funny story to accompany it......




Tell us yours!
(Xyphious : Sinkin' Gin since '85, Mon 9 Jan 2006, 16:59, Reply)

Appalling Human Behaviour in Public
What's the worst, most unbelievable thing that you've seen another human being do in a public place?

e.g.:

This weekend in the shop where I work a perfectly normal looking customer asked if we had any toilets because his toddler badly needed to pee. We told him we didn't, whereupon he flew into a rage and forced his daugter to piss on the shop floor in front of the tills, to the stunned amazement of staff & customers alike. He then stormed out of the shop dragging his distraught child with him.

That sort of thing.
(Plyck, Mon 9 Jan 2006, 10:59, Reply)

Nasty Crushes
Should probably have a better title but guilty pleasures has been used. Anyway - people you really shouldn't fancy but do. Top of my list is Simon Cowell, followed by the entire cast of Top Gear - the little one, then Clarkson, and then the other one, if you want it in any sort of order.
(mookroolz, Fri 6 Jan 2006, 10:39, Reply)

KITTENS!
My cat used to suck my earlobes and sleep in my shoes with one foot in each. Too damn cute. Ripley the earsucking cat has now gone to Cat Valhalla, but what's the cutest thing your kitten has ever done, you know, the one thing that makes you go "AAAAAAAWWW, look at that!" and run for the camera.

Kittens - you know you love them.
( Shazzoir Old enough to know better young enough not to care, Fri 6 Jan 2006, 5:21, Reply)

Thievery from the Workplace
My kleptomaniac exploits are limited to salvaging bright fluoro orange cattle ear tags from beasts here at work doomed to end up as McBurgers.

What interesting or bizarre things have you been tempted to lift from the workplace?
( Shazzoir Old enough to know better young enough not to care, Fri 6 Jan 2006, 5:19, Reply)

Naughty Secrets, or just plain private stuff
Tell us something about yourself that you would never tell your wife/husband/boyfriend/parents.
(mortdubois lacks imagination, doesn't play well with others, Fri 6 Jan 2006, 2:25, Reply)

Traffic Cones
All guys, at some point in their lives, will own a traffic cone...

So how did you get yours and what have you done with it?
(Marmite Omelette ...but I feel better having screamed, don't you?, Fri 6 Jan 2006, 0:53, Reply)

Driving instructors?
My driving instructor used to tell me about the time when he was a police officer that he had to rescue a naked man from a locked wardrobe- apparently this chap had climbed on top of the wardrobe in order to make a flying leap onto the bed, where his wife was handcuffed, but the top of the wardrobe had caved in, leaving him imprisoned within.

He would tell me this every single week as if it was a brand new anecdote.

He also used to claim he suffered from spontaneous stigmata. You know, like Jesus. And he took a clearly large amount of pleasure in informing me that after dentists, driver instructors have the highest suicide levels of any profession.

Tell us about your freakish driving instructors.
(oranguturn, Wed 4 Jan 2006, 17:41, Reply)

FOR THE UGLY PEOPLE
How I made her say 'go on then, as long as you piss off afterwards'....
(alex the ghost, Tue 3 Jan 2006, 15:00, Reply)

given the nature of the board...
"tell us a lie" would make a good qotw
( writerblock ... embedding disabled by request on, Tue 3 Jan 2006, 13:16, Reply)

*thinks*
A few to consider:

Buried treasures - what's the strangest thing you've unearthed in a long-forgotten hidey-hole?

Getting away with murder - Things you probably should have gone to prison for, or at least had your legs slapped quite hard, legal-wise.

Bad Science - a little knowledge is a dangerous thing, especially when in connection with high voltages, explosives and mineral acids. Tell of your narrow escapes, or "why i now have to type with a head-wand"

Most useless thing ever - anything, must be utterly, uncompromisingly useless. like paris hilton but worse.

Click "I like this" to make an old fool happy.
(Jack Rarebit ...We like chillies, Tue 3 Jan 2006, 3:07, Reply)

qotw
Can't be arsed to read through 50 pages of this to see if anyone's already suggested this but... my mate when I was around 5 or 6 used to be able to find hedgerow jazzmags anywhere, seriously. Magical mystical things at that age as I'm sure we all know. Put him in a field somewhere and half an hour later, bingo! I can remember more times out with him when he found some than not. Anyway, (sorry this took so long) what is the most bizarre/interesting thing you have found?
(tinypod will never learn. Ever., Sat 31 Dec 2005, 10:35, Reply)

How's Embarissing Moments?
Tons of those.
(Listerine Insert board sig here., Sat 31 Dec 2005, 1:55, Reply)

What's your most prized possession?

(Pimms'N'Lemonade thinks you are a twat, prove me wrong., Wed 28 Dec 2005, 23:43, Reply)

QotW topics
How about : what is the best rumour of lie you have ever started or told. I recently convinced a lady that I was best friends with James Blunt as I served with him in the army, I said I could get her VIP tickets the whole shebang, so of course she let me sleep with her. Good job I gave her someone elses phone number. I also started a rumour at college that one of the lecturers had a gay affair with another lecturer, and he is still haunted by such a rumour, that was four years ago!!
(lankynyack, Tue 27 Dec 2005, 18:37, Reply)

The bestest thing you ever stole
while you were pissed. I recently nicked a chair off the street for a mate's flat. The fact it had been in the street for 4 days didn't deter me. it was christmas...
(Rushy, Tue 27 Dec 2005, 1:06, Reply)

What is....
your best/worst chat up line you've tried/had tried on you?
(You Love It, Fri 23 Dec 2005, 21:54, Reply)

What's your best bondage story?
yeah
( drunkenoaf, Fri 23 Dec 2005, 0:05, Reply)

shit
i was in my room and my little bro came in just as i was at my peak and i hit him right in the eyes (don't konw how i talked my way out of this one
(b901, Thu 22 Dec 2005, 22:26, Reply)