Condoms are expensive
but are available FOR FREE from your local family planning centre. Don't be a muppet and pay for them.


EDIT: This reminded me that I was almost out, so I went to the clinic last night on the way home.

They've recently joined forces with the GUI clinic, so it's a little scuzzier than it was, but there was a 'very nice young man' there, who obviously took a shine to me, because when I got home and opened my goodie bag, there were: 6 'large', 8 'ribbed', 6 'mint', 6 'blueberry', 4 'banana' and 2 'vanilla'.

Not sure what to think about that!
(Che Grimsdale Best before:, Mon 14 Nov 2011, 15:31, 8 replies)

Very expensive
What happened to a three-pack for a quid?
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Mon 14 Nov 2011, 15:35, closed)

What's the choice like, though?
Are different sizes available?
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Mon 14 Nov 2011, 15:37, closed)

Yes, I'm told they do have extra small ones
So you'll be fine
(moon monkey is busy making memories worth repressing, Mon 14 Nov 2011, 15:49, closed)

(TheManWithThePlan cussed your mum on, Mon 14 Nov 2011, 15:54, closed)

I would actually have been disappointed if no-one had posted this.

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Mon 14 Nov 2011, 17:06, closed)

Are we talking about condoms
or women?

Condoms are all one size.

Women are, er, well . . .
(username failed moderation, Mon 14 Nov 2011, 16:00, closed)

Condoms come in different sizes
For the girth...
( snee held his breath since, Mon 14 Nov 2011, 16:15, closed)

Really?
Never seen any different sizes on the shelves in boots...

Are the extra small ones behind the counter then just to humiliate people with small cocks?
(MayorBoris, Mon 14 Nov 2011, 16:21, closed)

*shrugs*
On Durex, the size is on one of the side panels
( snee held his breath since, Mon 14 Nov 2011, 16:35, closed)

Just sleep with
whores. They bring their own.

So I was told by a mate.
(username failed moderation, Mon 14 Nov 2011, 15:43, closed)

Mrs Jogs gives out thousands of them
on request at the health centre. I've seen them floating around with "Happy Birthday Chantelle" written on with a marker pen.
( edjogs Collared doves are shit., Mon 14 Nov 2011, 15:43, closed)

optimism
After our 2nd was born the health visitor did the contraception talk with my wife. As before she needed to use a different pill while breastfeeding so they gave her some condoms to use for a month while the pill got going.

A fucking great stripey pick n mix bag of condoms, about 20 varieties; dimpled ribbed and more flavours than kelly belly beans.

For a size 8 woman who'd just delivered her second 10lb baby. To use in the next month!

Even without the pills I think we'd still be using them now.
(Greencloud Wanted to go fishing on, Mon 14 Nov 2011, 15:52, closed)

my local place switched to the pick n mix bags,
but there weren't any straightforward ones in there. I think the idea was to make people wait longer before having sex with a new partner. If you've been dating someone for a few weeks they won't bat an eyelid if the first time you sleep together there's a packet of normal boring Durex on the bedside table, whereas you need a certain level of comfort in the relationship before you can cheerfully expect your boyfriend to wear a neon green raspberry-flavoured ribbed condom.
( Batsgirl, Tue 15 Nov 2011, 10:56, closed)

Condoms should be free.
FULL STOP.
( Michael Ellis contributes nothing, Mon 14 Nov 2011, 16:01, closed)

On the other hand, if you don't think it's worth £1 a go
...you're doing it wrong.
(moon monkey is busy making memories worth repressing, Mon 14 Nov 2011, 16:25, closed)

Like I said...
...they are.

Fair enough if you want to get some in the toilet of your local pub, but if you can plan ahead by a few hours...
(Che Grimsdale Best before:, Mon 14 Nov 2011, 16:28, closed)

Stallman asks ...
Free as in beer or free as in speech? Or free as in sad old beardie weirdie who can't cope with the fact that nobody uses emacs any more and Linus Torvalds wrote a working kernel first?
(ubergeekian, Mon 14 Nov 2011, 17:02, closed)

Free
as in Willy
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Mon 14 Nov 2011, 17:17, closed)

Free lube too :D
for all of you requiring a little more moisture
( cakeburglar still bored with Freebase, Mon 14 Nov 2011, 17:06, closed)

What kind do you get?
I think the inner tubes on my bike would give more feeling than the condoms I picked up for free from the local clap clinic.
( AWPS, Mon 14 Nov 2011, 18:25, closed)

It varies from clinic to clinic I think
One place used to give a variety bag including extra-tuff for gay bum sex and featherlite for when you don't want to be banging away for hours. Normally its: 'Mates or Durex?'. Tried Mates once and I'm sure I'm not THAT 'skinny' but they fitted like a fisherman's wader.
(Che Grimsdale Best before:, Tue 15 Nov 2011, 8:22, closed)