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This is a question School Assemblies

Our school assemblies were often presided over by the local vicar, who once warned us of the dreadful dangers of mixing with "Rods and Mockers". One of the cool teachers laughed. Tell us about mad headteachers and assemblies gone wrong.

Inspired by the mighty @Rhodri on Twitter

(, Thu 13 Jun 2013, 12:43)
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My Headmastar the legend? Try tosspot
I never really gotten on with my primry schol headmaster. He liked education, i liked xbox. He liked the three arse and extra math's, i liked playin football with guys my own age and watching TV

The straw wich broke the camel spack however was something so trivial that Im amazed it's came to no contact with him, the other teachers and all my clasmates.........

It was (at the time)my sister school panto they were gonna show it right after assembly, Id been asked to play the back end of the horse which naturally was noproblem cos am good actor, so I packed up my intended outfit and took 15 minute journey to the school and settled in before 9am start.i got there, hello! hello! hello! from my teacher, the head? what costume you brouht, ah cheers , thanks

I bring out my outfit(some Clown shoes and a spotty rompersuit,which we're my favourite cloths) , as i've mentioned in another post any horrible brown furry horse leg trousers bring me out in a rash and wearing them for any period of time is literally torture. He takes 1 look at my cloths, walks into the wings and literelly *throws* some fleabitten old panto costume at me saying "wear this", and then walks offstage leaving me and my teacher in stunned disbelief.

Rest of the time before assembly passes awkwardly as I struggle to figure out am I a 7y/o child being told what to do or a 11y/o boy who balls have actually drop and am well on the way to man?? So totally put on my own cloths just bfor curtain rises to both my teachers and Head's horror. Kids in audience thought well funny but Head refuses to look at me and just leaves the assemblyhall ,after the play finish my sister come up to and asks me "why didnt you wear the horse legs?" to which I reply with the same thing I said to my head and classmates straght afterwoods:

"If the costume are so important to you then why don't you cast some REAL Horselegs instead of me? If you want me to the STAR then let me wear my own God damn costume".

My sister looks like I'd stab her with a sticklebrix after taking her (hopefully) fave pokemon cards and burning them with a fisherprice micoscope in the sunny day. Yes I felt guilty but The head? Wouldn't even look at me.

We get change and go to our own classes, lots of whispers mong the teachers about "showoff twat" and "fuck little tit runing it for every1 Else" while Im loudly point out to my Classmates the glaringly obvious fact that all the kids on Stage also wearing costumes just different sort but apparently, what's good for the goose isn't good for the gander,It's only right that the Guest Star should get itchy willy for the sake of a poxxy hALF hORSE!!

We get thrpugh the lessons, I go home on time and tell mummy that i aint goin to school no more cos the teacher's were bullying me. i then made some up about the Head touchin me backstage and he lost his JOB,LOL!but all due to a half of horse costum my teacher's and schoolfriend's no longer refuses to speak to me as apparently I dint look the part,which they could only tell me through my mum at my sister parent's evenng. As a result, this was the last time I saw my best friends , my bro's Timmy and sebastian who we're 10 & 11 at the time ihave since gone too big svhool tho and its much better although i aint have no friends their and they all hat me

i have start to fancy boys.also wear girls cloths and they are FAR more comftable:))))
(, Mon 17 Jun 2013, 10:00, 10 replies)
I think this wins quite comfortably.

(, Mon 17 Jun 2013, 10:09, closed)
It made me want to chew out my own eyeballs.

(, Mon 17 Jun 2013, 10:15, closed)
What more do you look for in a qotw story?

(, Mon 17 Jun 2013, 10:17, closed)
and bad sex.
(, Mon 17 Jun 2013, 10:26, closed)

(, Mon 17 Jun 2013, 10:20, closed)
You even had me going for the first few sentences.
Very amusing parody. Clickety-click-click.
(, Mon 17 Jun 2013, 10:49, closed)
Well played.

(, Mon 17 Jun 2013, 12:42, closed)
Welcome back, spankyhanky

(, Mon 17 Jun 2013, 12:49, closed)
I like this.
(, Mon 17 Jun 2013, 18:09, closed)
So he's just *pretending* to be an illiterate twat to underline the effect of the story....???
(, Mon 17 Jun 2013, 18:11, closed)
It's pretty cathartic, all this hamfisted keyboard mashing.

(, Mon 17 Jun 2013, 21:46, closed)

Did someone burn your neck?
(, Mon 17 Jun 2013, 18:23, closed)
(, Tue 18 Jun 2013, 11:27, closed)

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