Something
etc.
( social hand grenade I was a lurker before you were a lurker, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 19:12, 1 reply)

Oh, me too.

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 18:57, Reply)

Who?
Me?
( The Lone Groover has mal des nuts., Thu 31 Jan 2013, 18:56, Reply)

Anyone
Posting after me is a cunt.

Yes - you.
(Suck it and Sea, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 18:35, Reply)

Thanks for waiting, sweeties, you can close it now.
Kisses. :-)
(Me, I'm not... in any way intoxicated, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 18:23, Reply)

Pricks

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 17:53, Reply)

First?

(Vigilante Man weeps because you're stupid., Thu 31 Jan 2013, 17:53, Reply)

I once went to a Muse concert...

(SonoraAeroClub "OH SWEET HELEN OF BALLS!", Thu 31 Jan 2013, 17:47, Reply)

I'm important enough to organise the next QOTW vote, as nobody else can be arsed by the look of it.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 17:22, 4 replies)

It's ok, I'm here now.
you can close the QOTW
(Mr Twisty Cheeky The worst kept secret in B3ta..., Thu 31 Jan 2013, 17:12, Reply)

Fine
You have the last word then...
(Rumbling Bear rumbled on, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 17:10, Reply)

Last


again
(Nanny Pat vote for me, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 17:00, Reply)

FUCK YOU I WON'T DO WHAT YOU TELL ME!
THEY'VE GOT YOU UNDER CONTROL!

Also pls buy my record k thx bai
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 16:36, Reply)

I think it's about time we had a new question, and my opinion is the only one that matters.
Discuss. Or not, if you can't be arsed.
( shinyshinyscalp less a man, more a way of life, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 16:32, Reply)

Last yet?

(Rumbling Bear rumbled on, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 16:16, Reply)

I was fucking a guy up the ass, and the self-important bastard wanted a reach-around.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 16:00, 10 replies)

I made brief mention of my run-in with the secret policeman a few posts ago but now it’s time for the full story.

After following the dubious advice from the Frenchman we followed roads that still aren’t on any maps until we arrived at Moloundou in South East Cameroon after dark with a broken rear right spring, and no chance of repairs. Fortunately we were in a Land Rover, so broken springs are more of an inconvenience than a real problem.

I found a place to park in a filthy goods yard which was at least secure with a big metal gate, and fell into an exhausted sleep to the throbbing music of a shebeen five meters from my head until 4.a.m, when the other occupant of the yard got me up to move my car so he could get his truck out. Fucker. Inevitably I reversed over a huge nail and put a hole in my tyre, which I plugged as best I could; this left me with three good tyres, and three shagged ones. By the time I was done the sun was rising and I was in the sort of foul mood that only coffee can help, so I headed off to a shack around the corner for breakfast.

A rotund bloke who had clearly been raiding the 70’s dressing-up box was lazing with a few mates outside the coffee shack and as I approached he called me over and suggested that I should show him my papers. Normally I’d be polite as punch, but today I really needed that coffee, so although I didn’t tell him to piss off I started to gently teased him about his clothes – asking if this was the new Gendarme uniform. When he claimed to be the Chief of the Secret Police I asked to see his ID, which he had ‘left in the office’ I suggested that maybe it was a secret ID that wasn’t actually visible, and to come get me once it had re-materialised. I wasn’t really being rude, I was just taking the piss, but the Roxana turned up and told me just to ignore him, which he really didn’t take kindly to. When I came out with my coffee five minutes later the crowd were all looking serious, and a young guy on a bicycle was handing an ID card to my new friend, who, as it turned out, really was the Chief of Secret Police. Ooops. Anyway I apologised as best I could but the damage had been done – we were summoned to his office, which was a short drive away.

I knew he’d keep us waiting, but didn’t expect a six hour wait before I was called in for an interview without coffee along with Rich and Roxana. Apparently the worst offence wasn’t my not taking him seriously, but Roxana ignoring him. So it’s good to see that blaming the woman is pretty universal regardless of culture, even if it is a jumped up prick doing the blaming.

It wasn't all bad though – I’d been meaning to find time to sort out the driver’s door handle which had been getting tricky to open for ages, so I used the six hours to strip down the door and repair the linkages, after which we couldn't open the door at all and had to climb in and out of the window for the next month until a real garage fixed it.

Length? 18 months and 70,000km
(strongp, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 15:43, 2 replies)

Looks like certain people are too important to post a new QOTW...

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 15:28, Reply)

Tampons.
They're stuck up cunts!
( Muns, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 15:11, 2 replies)

Last
etc
(Nanny Pat vote for me, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 15:04, Reply)

First !!!
Premature expostulation?
(Barnetboy, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 14:48, 1 reply)

Are you still here?
It's over! Go home!
(MrOli is ugly, but in the morning you will be sober, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 14:40, Reply)

I once gave a homeless person £10!
...
OK, it was so they'd suck me off but it still counts, right?
(Me, I'm not... in any way intoxicated, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 14:06, 7 replies)

Applications that steal focus.
Any developer that facilitates this deserves broken fingers.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 13:56, 2 replies)

Charity is a smyptom
of a sick society
( Locus213 Slightly to the left of Bakunin, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 13:49, 5 replies)

My donation was anonymous,
I didn't even get a sticker.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 13:48, Reply)

I bought some chocolate from a charity box.
That makes me more lastererer.
(Me, I'm not... in any way intoxicated, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 13:46, Reply)

Meh, you can have it.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 13:46, Reply)

I just gave 20p to charity,
which makes me better than the rest of you.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 13:40, Reply)