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This is a question Inflated Self-Importance

Amorous Badger asks: Tell us tales of people who have a high opinion of themselves. Jumped-up officials, the mad old bloke who runs the Neighbourhood Watch like it's a military operation, Colonel Blimps, pompous bastards and people stuck up their own arse.

(, Thu 24 Jan 2013, 12:22)
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This one
did it for me.

Making being charitable into a competition whilst getting all angry and indignant. I could visualise him pushing his sleeves up and everything.
(, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 21:44, 67 replies)
I can't see that one
Is it anotherwanker? 'Cause he's funny once you get him riled
(, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 21:53, closed)
Shambo - it's a guudun!

(, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 21:57, closed)
I particularly enjoyed the way he told you that he volunteers for/organises charities way more deserving than some fucking cats, after you asked him to.

(, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 23:00, closed)

way more deserving
Really? No.
I mean, really?
(, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 23:11, closed)

(, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 23:16, closed)
Cause being charitable is a competition
(, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 23:18, closed)
you certainly seem to think so.

(, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 23:19, closed)
(, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 23:21, closed)
I think homeless people and struggling parents take precedence over wild animals, yes.

(, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 0:31, closed)
That's all very well but if you don't
take care of the animals there will only be homeless people and struggling parents left to eat.
(, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 9:36, closed)
yes, really
I like cats and all but at the end of the day they are just cat, y'know?
(, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 10:39, closed)
Ah, I should have guessed
He's desperately trying to be as thick as Monty, as obnoxious as Rory and as queasily sanctimonious as Badger all rolled into one. Sadly, he fails even at that, I just can't be arsed with him.
(, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 23:20, closed)
Of course you can't, petal.

(, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 8:00, closed)
so your story is that you were the victim of a brutal takedown by Shambo
Where he made you look an utter prick and you're holding it up as a victory?

Butthurt. Medieval levels of butthurt, right here.
(, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 22:04, closed)
I think
you may have confused this site with 4chan.
(, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 22:39, closed)
I think
you may have confused this site for www.effective-mind-control.com/developing-self-awareness.html
(, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 22:53, closed)
I think you may have confused humiliation with victory.

(, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 22:57, closed)
Not really.
You asked a question and he answered.
But at least it gets you to the top of the qftw list for a while.
(, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 22:04, closed)
If it indeed was a competition, I think he won.

(, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 22:28, closed)
You asked, he answered
(, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 22:30, closed)
Sorry ringo, but it does seem to be you coming across as the prick here, again.

(, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 22:39, closed)
I'm not sorry really.

(, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 22:39, closed)
I think the point when you find yourself putting another person's username in your sig
is the point you should switch off the computer, have a cup of tea and then hang yourself for being a cunt.
(, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 22:43, closed)
Hanging's too good for him.

(, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 22:47, closed)
I like the bit where you asked him what he did for charity, and he told you.

(, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 22:45, closed)
To be fair
to the OK-Koala guy, Shambolic is a miserable little jumped-up cunt... "ooh look at me I give money to charity, although I neglect my work by spending 25 out of 24 hours a day being a prick on this website..."
(, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 23:03, closed)
I'm a little sad that someone
had to actually explain it.
(, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 23:10, closed)
Did you click on 'See The Full Thread'?
The reason bitchtits was going on about what he does for charity is because numpty here asked him. I think the point is the OP makes numpty look like a silly whining prick.
(, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 23:49, closed)
I'm 6'3
And miraculously I've managed to have a full time job, a young family and a social life as well as volunteering for two charities while apparently spending all my time upsetting the lifeless shut-in Drearies on here. It's almost as if I can think and type quicker than you head-dobbing plebs.
(, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 8:02, closed)
Do I really need to quote time-stamps?
Go and shout at someone for 10 min., that'll justify your job.

Quick now.

EDIT: I'm 5'11' btw, you BIG MAN you.
I bet you could take me in a tussle.
(, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 8:20, closed)
Why would my job ever involve shouting?
I'm a consultant, not a sargeant major.
(, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 9:08, closed)
What, a medical consultant?
Do you want to hear my medical consultant joke? :)
(, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 12:15, closed)
If you two must wrestle,
could you do it in a pool of jelly? Thanks.
(, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 9:24, closed)
*likes this*

(, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 12:16, closed)

(, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 9:25, closed)
Chins don't count.

(, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 9:38, closed)
Chin-faced chinfreak.

(, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 9:49, closed)
Sometimes I cover my chin in icing sugar and let underprivileged kids use it as a ski slope.
That's my charity work there.
(, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 10:13, closed)
nonce gradient?
(, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 10:39, closed)

How completely unremarkable. Well done you.
(, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 17:47, closed)
So unremarkable that you had to comment.
You tragic misery.
(, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 17:59, closed)

The fact you're marginally taller than average is unremarkable. Your definitively middle class existence is unremarkable. The fact you are one of many, many people who contribute to charity is unremarkable. The fact you managed to mash out a whole paragraph stridently proclaiming your superiority based upon these flimsiest of pretexts is, however, just about pathetic enough to merit a response.

Have you considered starting a blog?
(, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 18:55, closed)
I like the bit where you're too stupid to realise
That to be effective, charities have to be run like businesses and therefore attract the right people to work for them by offering decent salaries.

This means that they can grow in size and do more good than just being run on a shoestring by drongoes.
(, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 23:04, closed)
(, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 3:35, closed)
yes Ringo
You disputing my pluralisation totally invalidates the point. Silly me.
(, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 8:21, closed)
Australian English doesn't have to follow the rules of English grammar.
Oh wait...
(, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 8:42, closed)
Ringofyre wrong on the internet again.
The big attention-seeking crybaby.

He sent me a threatening gaz once, you know.
(, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 8:49, closed)
He's such a terrible bully.
I don't know why the mods don't ban him.
(, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 8:56, closed)
Where are the mods
with the step hammer?
(, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 9:39, closed)
Fuck off
that wasn't threatening you pussy.
Imma gonna fuck you up fer that!
(, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 9:41, closed)
sorry, shambo may be, and indeed is, a grade A wanker
but you're the one comming across as a cunt in that little exchange. nice foot shooting.
(, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 23:41, closed)
At worst
call it collateral damage.
(, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 2:04, closed)
You pulled the pin out of your own grenade, fumbled it, tripped over on top of it and smothered its force with your blandobeer belly.
And nobody else felt even a waft of your shitty gut air?

And that's collateral damage? Fascinating.
(, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 8:06, closed)

(, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 8:18, closed)
"Tis but a scratch"

(, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 9:47, closed)
Alright Piston?

(, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 9:51, closed)
Good thanks, yourself?

(, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 13:52, closed)

(, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 18:00, closed)
Alright PB

(, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 9:54, closed)
alright James
Can I book you for some standup please?
(, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 10:40, closed)
To all above
I'm good thanks, I'm not piston, and frankly I get stage fright, so no.
(, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 13:51, closed)
Give it up, you ridiculous cock.

(, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 18:00, closed)
This one better win.

(, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 7:59, closed)
It'll look great in the newsletter,
that's for sure.
(, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 11:51, closed)
Is the Newsletter still going?
What the fuck for?
(, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 12:43, closed)
Just so Kunt & Joel can get their needs met.

(, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 12:46, closed)
Fuck their needs.
Fuck their needs right up their need holes.
(, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 18:00, closed)

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