Sex Toys
Lanternchikk asks "How about a vibrant and stimulating discussion on sex toys?" What do you use to get off, and has it ever gone wrong? And yes, we've heard that urban myth, thank you.
( , Thu 17 May 2012, 12:33)
Lanternchikk asks "How about a vibrant and stimulating discussion on sex toys?" What do you use to get off, and has it ever gone wrong? And yes, we've heard that urban myth, thank you.
( , Thu 17 May 2012, 12:33)
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I stuck my cock in an orange
but more importnatly 12 PEOPLE HAVE ME ON IGNORE
WHY?
( , Wed 23 May 2012, 12:01, 138 replies)
but more importnatly 12 PEOPLE HAVE ME ON IGNORE
WHY?
( , Wed 23 May 2012, 12:01, 138 replies)
oh wait for some reason the first time i clicked it no dildo came out of her mouth even though i watched like 50 times
and still couldn't see anything weird about it
( , Wed 23 May 2012, 12:34, closed)
and still couldn't see anything weird about it
( , Wed 23 May 2012, 12:34, closed)
Emvees very touchy about his dad not loving him and his mum being a prostitute, he'll have you on ignore if you've ever dared to mention those
or that time when he looked like a right prick wearing a crazy balloon in a pub full of otherwise normal people
www.flickr.com/photos/james_godwin/5772615168/in/pool-77617660@N00/
don't mention his comedy t-shirts either or he'll stick you on ignore
( , Wed 23 May 2012, 12:12, closed)
or that time when he looked like a right prick wearing a crazy balloon in a pub full of otherwise normal people
www.flickr.com/photos/james_godwin/5772615168/in/pool-77617660@N00/
don't mention his comedy t-shirts either or he'll stick you on ignore
( , Wed 23 May 2012, 12:12, closed)
you look like you're in a steven hawking chair in that photo.
were you in a steven hawking chair?
( , Wed 23 May 2012, 13:53, closed)
were you in a steven hawking chair?
( , Wed 23 May 2012, 13:53, closed)
That's a pretty good excuse for being a massive prick.
"NO! I'M NOT A MASSIVE PRICK! I'M DRUNK!"
Sounds like being a massive prick with a problem to me.
( , Wed 23 May 2012, 14:28, closed)
"NO! I'M NOT A MASSIVE PRICK! I'M DRUNK!"
Sounds like being a massive prick with a problem to me.
( , Wed 23 May 2012, 14:28, closed)
Oh you're back from your little trip to banland, are you?
Still constantly surprised that I don't wear a morning suit and a solemn expression at b3ta bashes? Still wanking yourself daft over every picture of me you can find?
( , Wed 23 May 2012, 12:23, closed)
Still constantly surprised that I don't wear a morning suit and a solemn expression at b3ta bashes? Still wanking yourself daft over every picture of me you can find?
( , Wed 23 May 2012, 12:23, closed)
It's only a fight if both participants are evenly matched
As it is, it seems to be me versus a retarded interspastic who's obsessed with pictures of me from past b3ta bashes and pointing out that I look silly. While wanking himself daft over them.
Not that I mind, overmuch, it's like having my own cripplingly stupid version of Heat magazine.
( , Wed 23 May 2012, 14:09, closed)
As it is, it seems to be me versus a retarded interspastic who's obsessed with pictures of me from past b3ta bashes and pointing out that I look silly. While wanking himself daft over them.
Not that I mind, overmuch, it's like having my own cripplingly stupid version of Heat magazine.
( , Wed 23 May 2012, 14:09, closed)
Christ.
The "massive prick" thing is looking more likely already.
( , Wed 23 May 2012, 14:29, closed)
The "massive prick" thing is looking more likely already.
( , Wed 23 May 2012, 14:29, closed)
Is there a version of Heat magazine
that isn't cripplingly stupid, then?
I've often wondered, given that Boyd Hilton is sometimes on Radio 4, if there might not actually be a highbrow version of said periodical, stocked in only the most prestigious of newsagents.
( , Wed 23 May 2012, 14:43, closed)
that isn't cripplingly stupid, then?
I've often wondered, given that Boyd Hilton is sometimes on Radio 4, if there might not actually be a highbrow version of said periodical, stocked in only the most prestigious of newsagents.
( , Wed 23 May 2012, 14:43, closed)
In a Panglossian way I have to imagine that the contents of Heat magazine are a little bit more sophisticated than
"LOL Emvee wore a T-shirt ROFL"
( , Wed 23 May 2012, 14:52, closed)
"LOL Emvee wore a T-shirt ROFL"
( , Wed 23 May 2012, 14:52, closed)
Emvee in a t-shirt, with a balloon on his head.
A woman in a bikini, with cellulite.
It's all much the same - someone's getting jeered at, for the crime of daring to appear in public, either way.
( , Wed 23 May 2012, 15:16, closed)
A woman in a bikini, with cellulite.
It's all much the same - someone's getting jeered at, for the crime of daring to appear in public, either way.
( , Wed 23 May 2012, 15:16, closed)
That's what these /talk fatties are really afraid of
appearing in public
( , Wed 23 May 2012, 15:24, closed)
appearing in public
( , Wed 23 May 2012, 15:24, closed)
Listen man, I'm not your mother and I aint here to dress you
Comedy t-shirts mark you out as a knob that's all. Somebody should really have broken this news to you before, perhaps not down forbidden planet but elsewhere.
Cheers emvs
( , Wed 23 May 2012, 12:52, closed)
Comedy t-shirts mark you out as a knob that's all. Somebody should really have broken this news to you before, perhaps not down forbidden planet but elsewhere.
Cheers emvs
( , Wed 23 May 2012, 12:52, closed)
Look, I know you're desperately jealous of people who do things that you can't
Like leaving the house without a carer or typing without having to use a head dobber, but you've just got to get over it, Rory.
I know you're incapable of dressing yourself, and that tends to spill out into venom against people who can, but it's you who has to learn to live with it, not me.
( , Wed 23 May 2012, 13:51, closed)
Like leaving the house without a carer or typing without having to use a head dobber, but you've just got to get over it, Rory.
I know you're incapable of dressing yourself, and that tends to spill out into venom against people who can, but it's you who has to learn to live with it, not me.
( , Wed 23 May 2012, 13:51, closed)
Does you're mum ever come in with the spunk of strangers dribbling down her leg, fix you in her gaze and spit, with pure animosity, "It should have been you."?
I'm going to assume she does. Unless she's some sort of retard.
( , Wed 23 May 2012, 14:40, closed)
I'm going to assume she does. Unless she's some sort of retard.
( , Wed 23 May 2012, 14:40, closed)
I think the fucking prick has me on ignore.
On account of he's a fucking prick.
( , Wed 23 May 2012, 14:44, closed)
On account of he's a fucking prick.
( , Wed 23 May 2012, 14:44, closed)
Also, MB says you need a new username.
How about "Simon L Fluid"?
Or not. It's a bit waki.
How about "Lino-Chutney"?
Dunno what it means but it dunt sound nice.
( , Wed 23 May 2012, 14:46, closed)
How about "Simon L Fluid"?
Or not. It's a bit waki.
How about "Lino-Chutney"?
Dunno what it means but it dunt sound nice.
( , Wed 23 May 2012, 14:46, closed)
This one too apparently
"Does you're mum ever come in with the spunk of strangers dribbling down her leg, fix you in her gaze and spit, with pure animosity, "It should have been you."?
I'm going to assume she does. Unless she's some sort of retard."
( , Wed 23 May 2012, 15:03, closed)
"Does you're mum ever come in with the spunk of strangers dribbling down her leg, fix you in her gaze and spit, with pure animosity, "It should have been you."?
I'm going to assume she does. Unless she's some sort of retard."
( , Wed 23 May 2012, 15:03, closed)
just think if you'd been a better son and had a better job
you wouldn't need to pimp out your own widowed mother to pay for all those superhero belt buckles
( , Wed 23 May 2012, 14:28, closed)
you wouldn't need to pimp out your own widowed mother to pay for all those superhero belt buckles
( , Wed 23 May 2012, 14:28, closed)
Take a look at that photo, though, right. And imagine your hardest that it isn't you.
Does that chap look like a good person to you? Or a massive prick? Because, here's the bad news right, he IS a massive prick who only gets out when there's a bash for his needy forum chums.
In a fucking in joke comedy tee shirt.
With a novelty balloon on his head.
( , Wed 23 May 2012, 14:34, closed)
Does that chap look like a good person to you? Or a massive prick? Because, here's the bad news right, he IS a massive prick who only gets out when there's a bash for his needy forum chums.
In a fucking in joke comedy tee shirt.
With a novelty balloon on his head.
( , Wed 23 May 2012, 14:34, closed)
I think Personality Horse tried to tell you the following, but suspects that you have him on Ignore
"Take a look at that photo, though, right. And imagine your hardest that it isn't you.
Does that chap look like a good person to you? Or a massive prick? Because, here's the bad news right, he IS a massive prick who only gets out when there's a bash for his needy forum chums.
In a fucking in joke comedy tee shirt.
With a novelty balloon on his head."
( , Wed 23 May 2012, 14:54, closed)
"Take a look at that photo, though, right. And imagine your hardest that it isn't you.
Does that chap look like a good person to you? Or a massive prick? Because, here's the bad news right, he IS a massive prick who only gets out when there's a bash for his needy forum chums.
In a fucking in joke comedy tee shirt.
With a novelty balloon on his head."
( , Wed 23 May 2012, 14:54, closed)
Ta.
Can you do the one about his mum with cum dribbling down her legs too, for me?
( , Wed 23 May 2012, 15:00, closed)
Can you do the one about his mum with cum dribbling down her legs too, for me?
( , Wed 23 May 2012, 15:00, closed)
Yes, I have Personality Horse on ignore because I'm tired of hearing about his shit "band"
But please congratulate him for extrapolating all that from one photo of me from a b3ta bash in which comedy balloon hats were being made (not by me, but by another old-school b3tan) and passed around. I'm obviously dealing with a person of Sherlock Holmes levels of deduction here. (Can you emphasise the sarcasm in that last part please?)
You can reassure Personality Horse that I get out plenty, as I have "chums" beyond the reach of this forum, and that the b3ta bash is far from my only source of social interaction for the year but it's the only one from which that stupid prick Rory Lyon can find photographs to post in unrelated QOTW answers.
Might I further suggest that if Personality Horse wants to criticise my appearance based on a snapshot taken at a party that he post some pictures of himself so that we all might judge?
And finally, could I point out that since I have Personality Horse on ignore I'm not really interested in his opinion, and that by reposting it you seem to be nothing more than another shit-for-brains trolling cunt?
( , Wed 23 May 2012, 15:13, closed)
But please congratulate him for extrapolating all that from one photo of me from a b3ta bash in which comedy balloon hats were being made (not by me, but by another old-school b3tan) and passed around. I'm obviously dealing with a person of Sherlock Holmes levels of deduction here. (Can you emphasise the sarcasm in that last part please?)
You can reassure Personality Horse that I get out plenty, as I have "chums" beyond the reach of this forum, and that the b3ta bash is far from my only source of social interaction for the year but it's the only one from which that stupid prick Rory Lyon can find photographs to post in unrelated QOTW answers.
Might I further suggest that if Personality Horse wants to criticise my appearance based on a snapshot taken at a party that he post some pictures of himself so that we all might judge?
And finally, could I point out that since I have Personality Horse on ignore I'm not really interested in his opinion, and that by reposting it you seem to be nothing more than another shit-for-brains trolling cunt?
( , Wed 23 May 2012, 15:13, closed)
i'm glad you cleared all this up
i respect you now that you have pointed out that you don't care what personality horse thinks
( , Wed 23 May 2012, 15:16, closed)
i respect you now that you have pointed out that you don't care what personality horse thinks
( , Wed 23 May 2012, 15:16, closed)
I read the 'And Finally' in a John Craven voice
Why are you so upset? And isn't it a little hypocritical to call me names when you don't know me? Look, it's a lovely day outside, why not go out an enjoy the sunshine, yeah? Peace.
( , Wed 23 May 2012, 15:17, closed)
Why are you so upset? And isn't it a little hypocritical to call me names when you don't know me? Look, it's a lovely day outside, why not go out an enjoy the sunshine, yeah? Peace.
( , Wed 23 May 2012, 15:17, closed)
I'm not upset, I'm fucking loving this
If the dregs of the internet like Personality Horse are crawling out of the woodwork to insult me, I must be doing something right.
( , Wed 23 May 2012, 15:21, closed)
If the dregs of the internet like Personality Horse are crawling out of the woodwork to insult me, I must be doing something right.
( , Wed 23 May 2012, 15:21, closed)
Ok, well I'm glad to hear it
Because some might say that explaining that you've got loads of friends, getting oversensitive about photos of yourself and calling people you don't know 'shit-for-brains trolls' makes you come across as a bit of a prick. But don't shoot the messenger, eh.
( , Wed 23 May 2012, 15:24, closed)
Because some might say that explaining that you've got loads of friends, getting oversensitive about photos of yourself and calling people you don't know 'shit-for-brains trolls' makes you come across as a bit of a prick. But don't shoot the messenger, eh.
( , Wed 23 May 2012, 15:24, closed)
I'm beginning to see why his dad hates him and his mum got driven to prostitution
( , Wed 23 May 2012, 15:28, closed)
( , Wed 23 May 2012, 15:28, closed)
Those people would be cripplingly retarded, autistic cunts
Who delight in posting pictures of people to public forums in an attempt to embarrass them, or post comments on said pictures, or repost comments from ignored users on said pictures because they just want to be involved somehow.
I'm still vaguely flattered that all of you in interfatty land are wanking yourself daft over pictures of me, but isn't it time you got yourselves girlfriends or something? Otherwise I could, I dunno, post a new picture of myself a week - maybe even something not from a b3ta bash - and you could spluff yourselves into oblivion?
( , Wed 23 May 2012, 15:32, closed)
Who delight in posting pictures of people to public forums in an attempt to embarrass them, or post comments on said pictures, or repost comments from ignored users on said pictures because they just want to be involved somehow.
I'm still vaguely flattered that all of you in interfatty land are wanking yourself daft over pictures of me, but isn't it time you got yourselves girlfriends or something? Otherwise I could, I dunno, post a new picture of myself a week - maybe even something not from a b3ta bash - and you could spluff yourselves into oblivion?
( , Wed 23 May 2012, 15:32, closed)
personality horse says 'a picture of you at a bash?
who'd take it?'
( , Wed 23 May 2012, 15:35, closed)
who'd take it?'
( , Wed 23 May 2012, 15:35, closed)
PH, Emvee says 'You sad twat'
I think he's saying it to me, but it might be to you, he didn't specify
( , Wed 23 May 2012, 15:36, closed)
I think he's saying it to me, but it might be to you, he didn't specify
( , Wed 23 May 2012, 15:36, closed)
"Hey Emvee"
"A fat balding prick said: A picture of you not at a bash?
Who'd take it?"
LOL
( , Wed 23 May 2012, 15:35, closed)
"A fat balding prick said: A picture of you not at a bash?
Who'd take it?"
LOL
( , Wed 23 May 2012, 15:35, closed)
you're not supposed to take the piss out of yourself
when there are so many other people here to do it for you
( , Wed 23 May 2012, 15:39, closed)
when there are so many other people here to do it for you
( , Wed 23 May 2012, 15:39, closed)
you don't sound like your embarrassed at all
still at least you've got a pretend girlfriend and lots of offline chums so you'll always be the real winner on the internet emvs
( , Wed 23 May 2012, 15:36, closed)
still at least you've got a pretend girlfriend and lots of offline chums so you'll always be the real winner on the internet emvs
( , Wed 23 May 2012, 15:36, closed)
Please let us know if you decide to put Two Hats on ignore, so his posts can be re-posted for you too.
( , Wed 23 May 2012, 15:25, closed)
( , Wed 23 May 2012, 15:25, closed)
AHAHAHA!
You seem to have misunderstood how the ignore button works.
( , Wed 23 May 2012, 15:32, closed)
You seem to have misunderstood how the ignore button works.
( , Wed 23 May 2012, 15:32, closed)
hey wait a minute there woah
don't take the mickey out of peoples weight in my thread, thats out of order
( , Wed 23 May 2012, 15:40, closed)
don't take the mickey out of peoples weight in my thread, thats out of order
( , Wed 23 May 2012, 15:40, closed)
i'm very sensitive about my weight, please don't pick on me because of it
( , Wed 23 May 2012, 15:42, closed)
( , Wed 23 May 2012, 15:42, closed)
I'm not picking on you because of your weight
I'm picking on you because you're breathtakingly stupid. Oh, and too fat to leave the house, but we'll get to that.
( , Wed 23 May 2012, 15:44, closed)
I'm picking on you because you're breathtakingly stupid. Oh, and too fat to leave the house, but we'll get to that.
( , Wed 23 May 2012, 15:44, closed)
this is really hurtful and mean, i don't like the way the tone of this thread has changed
are you menacing me? i feel like i'm being menaced
could somebody gaz a mod please?
( , Wed 23 May 2012, 15:46, closed)
are you menacing me? i feel like i'm being menaced
could somebody gaz a mod please?
( , Wed 23 May 2012, 15:46, closed)
Gaz all you like
I'm not trapped in here with you, you're all trapped in here with me.
( , Wed 23 May 2012, 15:47, closed)
I'm not trapped in here with you, you're all trapped in here with me.
( , Wed 23 May 2012, 15:47, closed)
I'm not upset.
I'm not upset.
I'M NOT UPSET.
I AM NOT UPSET
honest
( , Wed 23 May 2012, 15:45, closed)
I'm not upset.
I'M NOT UPSET.
I AM NOT UPSET
n n ooo ttttt u u pppp ssss eeeee ttttt
nn n o o t u u p p s e t
n n n o o t u u pppp sss eee t
n nn o o t u u p s e t
n n ooo t uuu p ssss eeeee t
honest
( , Wed 23 May 2012, 15:45, closed)
You are upset
Otherwise we'd be looking at pictures of a bald overweight man right now
( , Wed 23 May 2012, 15:47, closed)
Otherwise we'd be looking at pictures of a bald overweight man right now
( , Wed 23 May 2012, 15:47, closed)
Please,
no pictures ofbaldmonkey Personality Horse - I've not recovered from the last time.
( , Wed 23 May 2012, 16:01, closed)
no pictures of
( , Wed 23 May 2012, 16:01, closed)
Thing is, though, the things rory just said are all like actually true,
whereas you're just making bollocks up.
( , Wed 23 May 2012, 14:30, closed)
whereas you're just making bollocks up.
( , Wed 23 May 2012, 14:30, closed)
you knock yourself out, sister.
27 humourless funsponges ignoring me. I WIN.
( , Wed 23 May 2012, 12:30, closed)
27 humourless funsponges ignoring me. I WIN.
( , Wed 23 May 2012, 12:30, closed)
How do you find out how many people are ignoring you?
I need to know, STAT!
( , Wed 23 May 2012, 12:44, closed)
I need to know, STAT!
( , Wed 23 May 2012, 12:44, closed)
it's the button in your profile.
wait, do you not have the button in your profile?
( , Wed 23 May 2012, 12:56, closed)
wait, do you not have the button in your profile?
( , Wed 23 May 2012, 12:56, closed)
i've gazzed him but it says he hasn't posted in years
must be a lurker
( , Wed 23 May 2012, 14:20, closed)
must be a lurker
( , Wed 23 May 2012, 14:20, closed)
me too :(
if he doesn't reply in a few days i'll gaz rob, he's always doing me little favours
( , Wed 23 May 2012, 14:22, closed)
if he doesn't reply in a few days i'll gaz rob, he's always doing me little favours
( , Wed 23 May 2012, 14:22, closed)
Yeah, he's good like that
Manolith's having an icon made that looks like my face you know.
( , Wed 23 May 2012, 14:23, closed)
Manolith's having an icon made that looks like my face you know.
( , Wed 23 May 2012, 14:23, closed)
yeah well he's getting a statue of me built in front of a big red flag and he's going to force chinese people to salute it
( , Wed 23 May 2012, 14:27, closed)
( , Wed 23 May 2012, 14:27, closed)
i've gazzed him but it says he hasn't posted in years
must be a lurker
( , Wed 23 May 2012, 14:24, closed)
must be a lurker
( , Wed 23 May 2012, 14:24, closed)
you're not the guy
you're the other guy who has to put punctuation at the end
( , Wed 23 May 2012, 14:26, closed)
you're the other guy who has to put punctuation at the end
( , Wed 23 May 2012, 14:26, closed)
1 person ignoring me.
And that's me. I actually can't see this. It's very strange.
( , Wed 23 May 2012, 13:33, closed)
And that's me. I actually can't see this. It's very strange.
( , Wed 23 May 2012, 13:33, closed)
is that how old your dad would be, if he hadn't passed away
forcing your mother into a life of prostitution?
( , Wed 23 May 2012, 15:47, closed)
forcing your mother into a life of prostitution?
( , Wed 23 May 2012, 15:47, closed)
"How was your day mum?"
"Well, I wept for hours while being fucked by strange men for cash and wishing it had been you that died instead of your father. How was your day, prick?"
"I spent your money on a novelty tee shirt making reference to a website, although I should make it clear that my life DEFINITELY does not revolve around that website."
( , Wed 23 May 2012, 15:54, closed)
"Well, I wept for hours while being fucked by strange men for cash and wishing it had been you that died instead of your father. How was your day, prick?"
"I spent your money on a novelty tee shirt making reference to a website, although I should make it clear that my life DEFINITELY does not revolve around that website."
( , Wed 23 May 2012, 15:54, closed)
Ha! I love that you are so very not upset that you felt the need to take me off ignore!
( , Wed 23 May 2012, 15:50, closed)
( , Wed 23 May 2012, 15:50, closed)
As long as you don't start talking about your shitty fucking pretend band again
we're all good
( , Wed 23 May 2012, 16:31, closed)
we're all good
( , Wed 23 May 2012, 16:31, closed)
Why won't anyone ignore me?
I'm late to this party and I haven't brought a present.
( , Wed 23 May 2012, 16:50, closed)
I'm late to this party and I haven't brought a present.
( , Wed 23 May 2012, 16:50, closed)
Click 'Update your profile'
Down near the bottom of the page is where you will find your answer.
( , Thu 24 May 2012, 9:43, closed)
Down near the bottom of the page is where you will find your answer.
( , Thu 24 May 2012, 9:43, closed)
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