i always thought
when i was younger and erm, you know, making some knuckle fury muck - that my Mum and Dad or infact any family or friend member would try and catch me at it. Even to the extent of installing secret pinhole cameras, or 2 way mirrors.

also, to disguise the noise i would run the tap in the bathroom. Now, looking back it would seem obvious what i was up to. I mean my mum and dad would think i had bad bowels, as i would sit on the loo for about 6 hrs with the tap constantly running.

the same goes for dead family relatives perving from the heavens.

Fortunatley, I now doubt anyone is trying to catch me in the act, nor are dead relatives trying to watch.
(Dan dan dan They tik urh jerbs!!!, Wed 1 Oct 2008, 14:11, 12 replies)

Apart from Ceiling Cat
obviously.
(Binary Solo loves a bit of algebra, Wed 1 Oct 2008, 14:14, closed)

did someone say chart cat?
*peers*

Oh, no you didn't.
( chart cat has an itch, Wed 1 Oct 2008, 14:21, closed)

as long as you don't put your spunkpoo mouth anywhere near him!
some things just can't be unread :D
( gypsy turnips, Wed 1 Oct 2008, 14:30, closed)

Sniggers @ 'spunk poo mouth'
What she said - it just can't be unread...

Pass the mind bleach...
( snee held his breath since, Wed 1 Oct 2008, 15:27, closed)

did you get
a dirty sanchez?
(Dan dan dan They tik urh jerbs!!!, Wed 1 Oct 2008, 15:39, closed)

dead relatives
like a seance wank?
( gypsy turnips, Wed 1 Oct 2008, 14:19, closed)

i was gonna say that
but i couldnt spell seance

:(
(Dan dan dan They tik urh jerbs!!!, Wed 1 Oct 2008, 14:22, closed)

The ony way you could hide it
would be not to do it.
Anyway whoever spends an extended length of time in the bathroom or shower is clearly having a wank.
It takes 3-4 minutes to have a shower, if you're in the shower for 6 minutes they know you're wanking.
Also, dont wank while trying to have a shit. Neither will come out.
( turb0t, Wed 1 Oct 2008, 16:14, closed)

Hahaha!
I was going to ask if this is the voice of experience - but I don't need to ask, as it so obviously is.
( warmfuzzies Isn't here, Wed 1 Oct 2008, 17:13, closed)

I take 10 minutes in a shower if I'm going at my very fastest
Otherwise I'm atleast 20. Mind you, I love being cosy and my hair reaches my knees...
( vix0r was not Matthew on, Wed 1 Oct 2008, 21:39, closed)

Toilet Time
Ha! I come from a long line of poo'ers. The men in my family are all known to have taken books, papers, laptops, set up pc's, tables for doing homework on and even ran extension cords through the house just for a tv to enjoy a nice pleasant toilet time experience. I stopped taking the tv to the bathroom when I discovered masturbation but still spent 1-2hours locked up now enjoying my time in new ways.
Always felt someone was listening queue holding breath for ages making sure no one was breathing on the other side of the door.

Worst was being called for dinner and being questioned what were you doing in there for so long. Always went red faced and just said poo'ing and homework and hope it never caught on. Well, they still haven't 22 years later but at least I have my own gaff now so don't have to lock myself away :-)
(Something funny, Wed 1 Oct 2008, 18:24, closed)

Only dead people?
I was convinced that the only place that God couldn't see me getting changed was on the space just in front of my bedroom door on the landing.
This was regardless of the fact that I was naked in the bath, and slept naked... I was just worried about HIM /HER / IT seeing me getting changed.
Thank goodness I'm now an aetheist.
(paof2 Nude might not be rude, but rude could be nude..., Thu 2 Oct 2008, 9:22, closed)