Shit and Jizz Don't Mix
During a holiday to the Antipodes to visit a girlfriend, we indulged in a lot of anal sex.

Normally it was, with the addition of enough suitable water-based lubricant, a reasonably enjoyable experience, but on one memorable occasion, I rode the barking spider pretty hard for 5-10 minutes, before shooting my load up her chutney chute, and withdrawing my member with a satisfyingly squelchy 'thunk'.

On looking down I regarded my weapon still reasonably erect, caked in a mix of ejaculate and offensive brown goo.

The capper was a small nugget of shit resplendant on top of my bell end just underneath the hogs-eye.

She was still on all fours in front of me, and within seconds of regarding this vista, I quite violently vomited on her back.

A river of toffee coloured rumination ran down her, spiced with obligatory diced carrots.

We never did anal again.
(Vic Flange, Mon 31 Mar 2008, 19:42, 16 replies)

Please no....
I don't like it when you talk dirty.
( girlinthehole, Mon 31 Mar 2008, 19:52, closed)

Its my new, gritter style.
Or do I mean 'shittier'?
I'll get back to you.
(Vic Flange, Mon 31 Mar 2008, 19:56, closed)

From recent links
I'd imagine there's quite a few film makers out there who'd like to talk to you both......
( baw__bag contains traces of nuts on, Mon 31 Mar 2008, 20:45, closed)

small nugget of shit
that story is fabulous!

*clicks*
(ComplexStuff Was confused by life on, Mon 31 Mar 2008, 22:31, closed)

Of course we did anal again.
And I think you'll find it was me that gipped.


And what do you mean she?
( disasterprone "Pyjamas caused the Holocaust", Mon 31 Mar 2008, 23:10, closed)

The above post is
a lie
( disasterprone "Pyjamas caused the Holocaust", Mon 31 Mar 2008, 23:10, closed)

.
Eugh that happened to me once, but i managed to hold back the vomiting, just.
Isn't it the most rancid smell you could ever imagine?
(jangaaaal shes lost control..., Mon 31 Mar 2008, 23:30, closed)

Why
the hell would you do anal?
I've never seen the reason why people do it.
I'll be honest, I've never done it, but I just don't see the attraction.
(Evilweevil is covered in bees, Mon 31 Mar 2008, 23:46, closed)

^ my thoughts too
farking gross
(Neomancer last looked smug on, Tue 1 Apr 2008, 0:16, closed)

^ ^
some people like it, some people don't
( flirting with badgers What? It sounded good at the time., Tue 1 Apr 2008, 1:30, closed)

Either get her to clean herself
Or use a johnny. It's common sense.

I mean, would you stick your cock into a turd if you came across one in the street?
(DarkLite swallowed my entire undercarriage, Tue 1 Apr 2008, 4:11, closed)

ha ha
superbly told, as always.
( Droog is too orangey for crows, Tue 1 Apr 2008, 9:14, closed)

What a lovely tale
I've always been a fan of the hideous bubbling farts that result. And hers are pretty bad too.
(frankspencer, Tue 1 Apr 2008, 9:42, closed)

Eeeeeeeeewwwwww
That is all.
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Tue 1 Apr 2008, 10:38, closed)

Evilweevil..
'why the hell would you do anal'

Why the hell would you climb Mount Everest...because it's there.
( girlinthehole, Tue 1 Apr 2008, 20:05, closed)

As Frank Skinner Says
it's the difficult brown over the easy pink
(sittingduck Attention seeking, bullshitting fuck-knuckle, Wed 2 Apr 2008, 13:48, closed)