Just thought I'd explain
the origin of the word "chav" at this point, because it seems to have spread nationwide.

It's from a Geordie word, "charver", originally meaning "slapper". Then I suppose applied to "Kappa Slappers", you know the girls who always wear the Kappa tracksuits... and also the male variety got lumped in with the same word, since no-one uses it in the original sense anymore.

I had no idea it was used outside of the North East until these last few days.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 2 Feb 2004, 22:05, Reply)

living in cheltenham..
got the painters and got a leaky doughnut, both meaning a woman's on her period
chav - person wearing rockports, henri lloyd jacket, massive gold earrings (yes boys and girls) and shouting mush a lot.
durty little greebo person with a rucky with patches and studs and stuff on, i get called it a lot!
trendy - explains itself really
(rosie-pie, Mon 2 Feb 2004, 22:01, Reply)

Just remembered a good one...
I was in a charity shop once, when I overheard one of the staff refer to some Duplo as "Spacker Lego"...

It wasn't in Scope, at least...
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 2 Feb 2004, 21:28, Reply)

Well done bright spark - best said if dripping with enough sarcasm to poison a cynic.

Sack the juggler - Said whenever anybody drops anything

You're not the sharpest knife in the spoon draw are you? - See 'Well done bright spark'
(The Mysterious ., Mon 2 Feb 2004, 21:28, Reply)

a few more from the top of my head
Dirty Sanchez: a dirty, dirty girl, not in a good way dirty, more like her stuff is infected and smells like fish or mold. One of the two.
Bull Dyke: word for very butch looking lesbian.
Sally Struthers: a word to make your friends say while drinking- the perfect way to see if they are drunk. It comes out something like Ssssally Sssstruthersssss.
Stuffie: make-believe drug "I am smoking a stuffie later" Confuses the shit out of most people.
Bumping uglies: sex
Padiddle: Car missing a headlight
Cockroach wedgie: wedgie up the front of a girl.
Bitch Ass Negro: something to say when extremely pissed, or when you are bleeding. I stopped using this because, well, it sounds very bad when said very loud. Moving on.
Ghetto Ass: used when describing someone or something being stupid. Ghetto Ass Piece of Shit, or Ghetto Ass Son of a Bitch.
Last but certainly not least
Funk: A term used to describe a friend or someone you know as being abnormally stupid, abnoxious, or possibly even smelly.

EDIT: Funk is the last name of a family in my town. Most are physically disformed, all of them are short with big noses, and their teeth being extremely crooked, some missing collarbones, others with dents in their foreheads. We don't make fun of them, we make fun of other people by calling them funks. Besides, what the funks lack for in size or intelligence they make up for in "I'm gonna kick your ass!!"
sorry for the long post and edit...
( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 2 Feb 2004, 21:19, Reply)

Randomness
Several items:

You've ruined Christmas - Said with particular disgust to someone who has just cocked up your plans to go to the pub/bar/club/location with alcohol.

Millicatessant - Nothing adjective for somthing that isn't worth a proper description

Monkey Puzzle - Bad hair day. (cf. Monkey puzzle tree)

Cuntdrip - Unnecessarily offensive term for Countdown (the TV show)

Spack - Contraction of spastic; the old ones are the best, after all.

Painting a bridge - Criminal activities. Refers to a previous student prank that was discovered mid-way by the fuzz. Whilst in climbing harnesses.

Rahh - Someone under the illusion that wearing your shirt collar up renders you a member of the social elite. Also refers to wearers of pashminas.
( the_manhattan_project, Mon 2 Feb 2004, 21:05, Reply)

Two pikey girls were sitting
opposite me on the train a couple of weeks ago.
One was using the others mobile phone to talk to someone who she named loudly as "Ice Man". Pffft.
She seemed to want to meet up with him and kept saying: "So, you linkin' me?"
Then after a bit more chat with the 'Ice Man' she said: "Nah I can't talk much long-ga, this is my brethren's phone"
After I'd tried to stifle my laughter for a bit, her friend started getting irate because her phone credit was being used up.
She then told her mate on the phone to "Lock off"
Bloody pikeys.
( BrassMonkey PRUNES ARE PLUMS! WAKE UP SHEEPLE!, Mon 2 Feb 2004, 21:00, Reply)

Stamos!
It's a reference to the show Clone High. Long story short, the principal (a mad scientist named Cinnamon J. Scudworth) has a bit of a rivalry going on with the guy who was the big man on campus when he was in high school. Strange thing is, the guy is John Stamos, the dude from Full House. (or some other equally stupid show) Whenever he gets shown up by the guy (which seems to happen a lot, considering he was only in 2 episodes.) he would hold his hands up angrily and yell "STAMOS!"

Now me and my siblings use it as an all-purpose show of annoyance.
(A Wooden Leg Named Smith, Mon 2 Feb 2004, 20:59, Reply)

The sly....
"I'm just off to see Palmela Handerson"

Obviously another term for pulling the pud.
*chortle*
( Scary Mary The D'oh Fairy, Mon 2 Feb 2004, 20:49, Reply)

That reminds me of
"Fancy Wank", similar to a posh wank but it uses an ugly birds fanny to save wear and tear on your hand, I'm not a chauvanist*, honest.




*however the hell you spell that
(Higgy, Mon 2 Feb 2004, 20:46, Reply)

one of my own
and not strictly in use is dog box

referring to a 'telephone kiosk'
( Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Mon 2 Feb 2004, 20:41, Reply)

Clart
So either Goldie Lookin' Chain are the funniest thing I've ever heard, or they're the Macc Lads with bigger hats. I haven't made my mind up yet. On the other hand, I can recommend their patois page for a sight of how the kidz in the hoods of Newport are apparently talking. Personal favourites include the 'posh wank' for sex with a prophylactic, 'seven seater scum bus' for the MPV taxis full of pissed arseholes seen around town centres on a Saturday night and 'wank spanner', for the human hand.

Uh, word. Or something.
( Cromagnon Don't waste my motherfucking time!, Mon 2 Feb 2004, 20:38, Reply)

I quite like
The exclaimation "Fuck Me Running!"

but that's just me...

Oh yeah, I just remembered "Glasgow Shower" too, it's a quick spray of deoderant before one goes out "on the Onk"

Christ, I wish I could remember all of these at once, it'd certainely make life easier.

But...

"Licking your arse and calling it chocolate" is the practice of being overly optimistic in a hopeless situation

and a BOBFOC is a woman with a great rack and pegs but a face like a builder, from "Body Off Baywatch Face Off Crimewatch"

I think that's about all I can remember, but then I was a juvenile gluesniffer so I dunno...
(Higgy, Mon 2 Feb 2004, 20:38, Reply)

An obvious one
'Twunt'

as in 'Shuddup yer twunt' / 'Dont be a twunt'

Think its origins should be clear :-) Is not as severe as 'cunt' closer to just 'twat'.

Some posh electronica dorks we met seem to use the words 'bosh' and 'rinse'/'rinsing' twice per sentence. Both can be used in place of pretty much any verb, but particularly those referring to drug/alcohol use, dancing, going places etc:

Think I'm gonna bosh down another beer
That is some rinsing tune
We just boshed some shrooms
Hes off rinsing to that aphex twin set
Might bosh down the shop and get a veggi burger
(citylight, Mon 2 Feb 2004, 20:33, Reply)

Butterface
Butterface

Cause everything looks good BUT HER FACE.
Heard in Manassas VA. Thank God I heard it being said about another girl and not me!

edit: Manassas being a city, way larger than my own, and is close to DC the capitol of George Dubyaville
( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 2 Feb 2004, 20:31, Reply)

Variation on woo and yay
woocious pronounced wooshuss

yayality pronounced yayallittee

example "i bought this really woocious peice of cheese the other day and i was full of yayality for the rest of the day"
(PinkJimi, Mon 2 Feb 2004, 20:17, Reply)

Glappa / glapper
(n) As in "I've got to go NOW, I've got a ~"

Severe turtle head (apparently after the Galapagos Tortoise, the biggest of it's kind in the world).
(MrMessiah, Mon 2 Feb 2004, 19:27, Reply)

a few circulating around my flat....

pomple.... cute person (aw, he's such a pomple)
pomplemoose.... very cute person (aw, he's such a pomplemoose)
digler... porn/sex (let's get digler on the bed)
bitter.... uglier than butter (oof..she was bitter) (pronounced bi'er)
anal crack... anything that you can't remember the name of (has anyone seen my anal crack?)
( meak is going to inherit the earth, Mon 2 Feb 2004, 19:25, Reply)

pikey, pikey and more pikey...
i don't buy into the whole burberry caps and shit, but anyway, my south-east london school is full of pikeys...

Bate - Obvious, i think derived from blatant
Raw - Mad, as in "that bre'er is RAW" "that fellow is mad"
Buoyed - Told, shot down (i think we may have invented this one as a piss take, but it's quite widely used now)
Clat - wipe, as in pussy-clat, or rass-clat (rass meaning arse)
Blud - general exclamation, also used as a chummy term "'ey blud, 'cep me your phone"
Creps - trainers, i was mightily confused by this, because it seemed like there was a large conversation about pancakes going on...
(notjustahatrack peeling a sausage..., Mon 2 Feb 2004, 19:25, Reply)

Bundy
as in, Bundy wiring, Bundy rigging, Bundy burgers etc.
means it's highly suspect, and likely to kill you, like Ted Bundy
(pesh, Mon 2 Feb 2004, 19:21, Reply)

More slang
Aeroplane blonde - a lady who'se blonde up top, but she's still got the black box.

The Hooded Warrior - one brave enough to still sport a mullet in the 21st century.

Hotel/motel - sly pufter dig i.e. HoMo
(mondo_generator420, Mon 2 Feb 2004, 19:19, Reply)

I heared a word today,
and have tried to express it using letters- not a simple task.

'Iya-Werraya?'. - "Hello my good friend. I have arrived at the agreed meeting place and I am currently looking for you."
( Kamikaze Stoat £4.09, Mon 2 Feb 2004, 19:12, Reply)

Fuckbunnies!?
I've been saying that quite a lot...
(dernuke - ARTCRAP, Mon 2 Feb 2004, 19:11, Reply)

slang in the parlance of our times
Tagnuts: The annoying little clingers on you aquire around a hairy arse crack after a messy dump. Also see Winnits and Butt - spiders (so called coz of how they look on the shower floor when you wash 'em out)
(mondo_generator420, Mon 2 Feb 2004, 19:01, Reply)

Glasgow Salad
Chips
(ewok, Mon 2 Feb 2004, 18:47, Reply)

yeb off!
a friend of mine was at art college in Hull in the eighties, doing some sort of post grad thing. There was only a handfull of other students on the course and none were local. On his walk to college was a line of boarded up houses with YEB OFF scrawled on them. It crept into his vocabulary, and subsiquently into the the other students, all thinking it was local lingo.

Later, walking past the same row he saw a guy come out of one of the houses, nailed the door shut, wrote YEB OFF on it and got into a Yorkshire Electricity Board van
(lankygingerfool, Mon 2 Feb 2004, 18:35, Reply)

Tage!!
I've also heard the word "Tage" (pronounce 'Tay-G') by scally school kids on the bus - means bastard or such like
(Titan Po Splaigen - BELIEVE!!!, Mon 2 Feb 2004, 18:33, Reply)

Particularly pissed when i came out with it.....
"My mouth's drier than a snakes twat", much to my mates amusement...
(PacStar, Mon 2 Feb 2004, 18:32, Reply)

Lizards of Texas
To describe a cruel person, or to exclaim dismay at a person's cruelty or unfairness (i.e not offering you a malteaser)

You're a Lizard in a Blizzard

or

You're a Texan in a Western

or just "Lizard!" or "Texan!".. the exclaimation "Rabbi!" has also been used though this may be racialist!!
(Titan Po Splaigen - BELIEVE!!!, Mon 2 Feb 2004, 18:31, Reply)

Here's a few, all female anatomy related:
Man in a Boat
Nest full of fledglings
Fig pit
Robin Williams face
(Minglush, Mon 2 Feb 2004, 18:30, Reply)