Frank
those are pretty random: connect 4 made of cheeses sounds pretty awesome

for me, I'd relish the chance to pound Pete Docherty for all I'm worth

edit: by pound I mean beat with fists, knees, elbows etc. not anything else. you perverts
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 31 Aug 2007, 10:46, Reply)

I'll have the
Viking Whore please.
As long as she's like the image in my head, anyway.
Woo!

& I'd spit on Jordan's kids. Creatures.
(Infernus Annoying board Nazis on, Fri 31 Aug 2007, 10:43, Reply)

And
Estonia's a damn sight nicer than the Sudan, so I'd take that. And I'll have the Aston rather than the crisps, and do Jessica Simpson up the Ronson.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 31 Aug 2007, 10:38, Reply)

For the record,
I'd have the orgasm pill, and get a blowjob off Jordan and do Jodie Marsh up the scuttle.

That way, when I came, I'd blow Jordan's head off and make Jodie Marsh explode.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Fri 31 Aug 2007, 10:35, Reply)

Bloody hell Frank
How long did that take?

For the record though, I'd go for the Japanese schoolgirls....
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 31 Aug 2007, 10:34, Reply)

Fer Gods sake
Frank - you need to get out more - really!
( girlinthehole, Fri 31 Aug 2007, 10:32, Reply)

Of course water has
a taste - it tastes like water!
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Fri 31 Aug 2007, 10:31, Reply)

Answer these to pass the time
Rather male-centric, I'm afraid, but...

Mobile phone or 1950s bakelight handset with dial?
TV or your own cockfighting pit?
Come on J-Lord's face or spit on Jordan's baby?
Aikido lessons with Steven Seagal or painting lessons
with Tracey Emin?
Discovering a Viking hoard in your garden, or a Viking
whore in your shed?
A lifetime's supply of lubricant or a tartan Thermos
flask
Do Jodie Marsh up the scuttle or machinegun Janet
Street Porter to death?
Most irritating: local radio DJs or arts
undergraduates?
Record a duet: with Korn or The Chuckle Brothers?
Which skill: speed typing or the ability to blow
yourself?
Licence to kill one person: Paris Hilton or Robert
Mugabe?
Forced into homosexuality with: Brad Pitt or Daniel
Radcliffe?
For £100,000: beat off before a live studio audience
or be sucked off by Jordan in private.
Whisky or cognac?
Change your name to: Squint-Eyed Tit or Sieg Heil Mein
Fuhrer?
Heroin-fuelled sex with a supermodel of your choice,
or the services of a personal chef for six months.
Choose your back-catalogue: Madonna or Tori Amos?
Free downloads for a year or your own bakery?
A free travel pass to: Estonia or Sudan?
A sex pill to intensify orgasm to extreme proportions
or a brain pill to increase your IQ to genius
proportions?
A free supply of designer clothes for a year or a blow
job from any woman you choose?
Bionic legs or super-hearing?
A set of copper pans or a vintage tennis racket?
A pedigree cat or some pedigree chum?
Top-of-the-line waterproof jacket or some golfing
shoes?
A solid gold edition of Monopoly, or Connect Four made
from fine cheese?
A scythe or a sickle?
A set of quality screwdrivers or a course in car
maintenance?
An Aston Martin or 400,000 packets of your chosen
crisps?
Three rounds in the ring with: Pete Docherty or Alan
Sugar?
A wooden spoon or a mixing bowl?
Licked to orgasm by a team of Japanese schoolgirls or be
sun-cream applicator for the Brazilian women's beach
volleyball team?
Memorabilia: Ringo's drumsticks or Bruce Willis' white
vest?
Get tugged off by Angeline Jolie wearing leather or
take Jessica Simpson roughly from behind
Appear in the Simpsons or appear in Lost?
Go on Big Brother or go on a lone trek to the South
Pole?
Pole-vaulting lessons or a made-to-measure diving
suit?
Black up and speak in a mock Pakistani accent for a month
or pretend to like Star Trek and go to conferences
etc?
Build your own set of pine drawers or build a replica
of the Taj Mahal from mahogany chopsticks?
(frankspencer, Fri 31 Aug 2007, 10:30, Reply)

I prefer
Water. It's nice, although some people attempt to lynch me for saying water has its own flavour.
(Infernus Annoying board Nazis on, Fri 31 Aug 2007, 10:27, Reply)

I don't drink Coke
or Pepsi, diet or otherwise. They're both minging.

I also never drink coffee or tea.

The most popular drinks in the world, and I don't like any of them.

Not that I'm picky...
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 31 Aug 2007, 10:26, Reply)

Full Fat Coke
or just a nice fat line
( disasterprone "Pyjamas caused the Holocaust", Fri 31 Aug 2007, 10:24, Reply)

diet coke or diet pepsi?
i can't bear diet pepsi, it's disgusting...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 31 Aug 2007, 10:23, Reply)

Buggering ball bags from hell
Is this question still going, Mr b3ta, get your finger out of your arse and give us another question. Lazy fucking slacker, bet he/she is knocking one out to jeremy kyle
(CaptainCuntyBollocks the man who can with a frying pan full of lamb, Fri 31 Aug 2007, 10:22, Reply)

I am the god of forgetfulness
Drives Mrs RWN crazy. If I go to the shop, I have to make a list even if it's just for one item. I can think of something I need to do, walk two yards to do it, then forget what it was by the time I get there.

...

What were we talking about?
( reallywittyname veraciously conspues lexiphanicism on, Fri 31 Aug 2007, 10:19, Reply)

Disasterprone
Your a big Kylie fan then. I've only heard of 2 of those songs.
( girlinthehole, Fri 31 Aug 2007, 10:18, Reply)

I'm a God
of accidental mayhem and inadvertant chaos.

I'm trying to sell my house at the moment and my agent is called Kylie - I worked 10 Kylie song titles into the conversation. They were:

I should be so lucky
Spinning Around
Cowboy Style
Give me just a little more time
Right here Right Now
Coocachoo
Cover Me with Kisses
Better the devil you know
Give it to Me
Slow
( disasterprone "Pyjamas caused the Holocaust", Fri 31 Aug 2007, 10:08, Reply)

I am
the goddess of social ineptitude.

Social ineptitude! That would make a great QOTW!
(grandmasterfluffles Come to my Armageddon party on, Fri 31 Aug 2007, 10:03, Reply)

Me
I am the goddess of fuck - ups - Woke up 2 hours late this morning. Did 90 on the motorway all the way to work.

Pah!
( girlinthehole, Fri 31 Aug 2007, 10:02, Reply)

i AM
the goddess of unfortunate sexual encounters.

unfortunately.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 31 Aug 2007, 9:52, Reply)

Is there...
a god of unfortunate sexual encounters? 'Cos I'm thinking rswipe would be a good offering for that one.
( reallywittyname veraciously conspues lexiphanicism on, Fri 31 Aug 2007, 9:51, Reply)

4 minutes
and counting...
( disasterprone "Pyjamas caused the Holocaust", Fri 31 Aug 2007, 9:48, Reply)

7 minutes?
I'd better just make sure I have clean underwear on, wouldn't want to meet the gods in skiddy pants.
( reallywittyname veraciously conspues lexiphanicism on, Fri 31 Aug 2007, 9:48, Reply)

And Frank
to the Great Swan God (readers of Yeats will understand...)
( disasterprone "Pyjamas caused the Holocaust", Fri 31 Aug 2007, 9:47, Reply)

I would sacrifice
Apeloverage to whichever God demands the most brutal and painful sacrifice.
( disasterprone "Pyjamas caused the Holocaust", Fri 31 Aug 2007, 9:47, Reply)

now THAT'S
a qotw.

which b3tan would you sacrifice and to the god of what?

i'll start by offering legless up to the god of wine and beer (bacchus is it?)...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 31 Aug 2007, 9:46, Reply)

7 minutes
and 4 seconds
( disasterprone "Pyjamas caused the Holocaust", Fri 31 Aug 2007, 9:45, Reply)

7 minutes
and 29 seconds
( disasterprone "Pyjamas caused the Holocaust", Fri 31 Aug 2007, 9:45, Reply)

Social Experiment?
How long before we revert to savages and start sacrificing each other to placate the gods?
( reallywittyname veraciously conspues lexiphanicism on, Fri 31 Aug 2007, 9:44, Reply)

You may be right Frank...
Please hold, while an employee who doesn't have a fucking clue what they're doing or why they're doing it, or even a basic command of English gets round to changing the QOTW.
( disasterprone "Pyjamas caused the Holocaust", Fri 31 Aug 2007, 9:43, Reply)

i think
it's more like a sociological experiment... to see what happens to us...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 31 Aug 2007, 9:39, Reply)