There were about 30 of us on a Stag do to that Amsterdam. We went there for the art galleries and
the museums because most of us had seen the major European offerings of that nature. Plus, Amsterdam has all those coffee shops and the louche nature of the sexual mores of Holland has a certain appeal.

Obviously, the museum stories are a tad dull and so I shall tell you about the part where the stag was taken to a live sex show, but what he did not know was that he was to become part of that show. Major lols. He was stripped and tossed onto the stage where women dressed as dominatrix and slave got to grips with him. Unfortunately, this is where the good natured ribaldry started to unravel. The Stag was supposed to be turned on by the women, supposed to grow to his full tumescence and possibly even blow his load. However, as we all witnessed the exact opposite happened - his penis and testicles began to withdraw, it was like the opposite of going through puberty. Toe curling embarrassment has nothing on watching a fellow male lose his cock. The more the women tried the worse it got, everyone in the audience began to empathise - they too began to lose their cocks and testicles were ascending. The stag ended up with a mangina but without the tuck, it is said his left testicle has still not descended. Oh yes, live sex shows with the groom and charming Dutch women sounds a wonderful idea but it wasn't. I still sometimes weep at the memory.
( d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Tue 4 Feb 2014, 12:08, 15 replies)

It seems kinda obvious,
but surely *most* blokes aren't gonna be turned on by all their mates watching them try and fuck some weird prostitutes.

Certainly not the ones straight enough to be getting married to a woman.
(eViLegion Chief Commissioner of the Scottish Lunacy Board, Tue 4 Feb 2014, 12:28, closed)

I think you have to be either mashed or of a certain flagrant disposition.
A very well-to-do and seemingly straight-laced colleague of mine once surprised the lot of us by very successfully participating in one of these shows. It was grim as fuck.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 4 Feb 2014, 12:32, closed)

You are obviously not aware of the amount of men who hire one prostitute to service the needs
of themselves and friends. I knew a bizarre father and son who were always shagging prostitutes at the same time and place. Spit roasting is a right of passage nowadays so the live sex show for lols was not really supposed to be anything much - the guy involved was a renowned swordsman and all should have been well.
( d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Tue 4 Feb 2014, 12:37, closed)

Father and son is fucking grim.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 4 Feb 2014, 12:41, closed)

"Go on, my son!"

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 4 Feb 2014, 12:42, closed)

High fiving the old man over your sister's back.
A family that lays together....etc.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 4 Feb 2014, 13:27, closed)

Especially when she decides to take a break and they carry on.

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 4 Feb 2014, 12:48, closed)

Oh boy. NOW I'm horny.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 4 Feb 2014, 12:53, closed)

fappity fap fap

( d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Tue 4 Feb 2014, 14:25, closed)

I knew a chap from deepest Hicksville who lost his virginity to a prostitute purchased and witnessed by his father.
:(
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 4 Feb 2014, 12:41, closed)

Niiiice....
No, not really.
So many issues, difficult to pick one.
(SpangoTheWonderBadger is brewing beer, Tue 4 Feb 2014, 12:51, closed)

Gawt to make sure ah gits mah proof of purchase 'n make fersure mah son ain't one of them damn faggits.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Tue 4 Feb 2014, 13:23, closed)

Been to Stowmarket, have you?

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 4 Feb 2014, 13:26, closed)

He was getting married.
Why was he supposed to break his vows before they were "spoken"?
If his missus was into it then get her out to Amsterdam also.
(Me, I'm not... in any way intoxicated, Tue 4 Feb 2014, 19:04, closed)

Hahaahahha!

(bROKEN aRROW PUA HVI Master, Wed 5 Feb 2014, 13:21, closed)