Clever dick....
After years of dedicated practice I can:

1) Suck my own cock. (About as erotic, exciting and pointless as clipping your toenails with a trowel.)

2) Go from soft to shooting my load without touching my dick, using naught but the power of my mind. (Not really worth the time or effort but always gets a good reaction...)

3) Have a mess-free orgasm by redirecting my man-juice into my bladder. (Handy for those annoying 'Shit! No tissues' moments; hiding the fact I just came after 30 seconds; and for getting blow-jobs to completion-and beyond regardless of the bints spit/swallow/finish-on-my-tits preference.)


I'd swap it all for the ability to make a decent cup of tea...
(tinpixel, Fri 19 Nov 2010, 16:29, 14 replies)

What a prick

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 19 Nov 2010, 16:48, closed)

that's what she said....
(tinpixel, Fri 19 Nov 2010, 17:19, closed)

.
Clever dick.
( browser still relating boring anecdotes into a void on, Fri 19 Nov 2010, 16:53, closed)

you can redirect your man juice into your bladder??

( rofl harris, Fri 19 Nov 2010, 17:09, closed)

Any bloke can.
Just press down hard right behind the scrotum, up towards the Cowper's Gland, at the moment of orgasm. Press hard enough and nothing will come out the end; it'll all be redirected internally.
( flake has nothing against your right leg, Fri 19 Nov 2010, 17:16, closed)

Wow!
Do they know this as the family planning clinic?

Catholics, you too can have birth control!
(Nitrous Nitrous, Fri 19 Nov 2010, 17:27, closed)

I just threw up a little
Luckily, I redirected it to my rectum.
( Pretender, Sat 20 Nov 2010, 19:34, closed)

Just as long as it wasn't mine.
( flake has nothing against your right leg, Sat 20 Nov 2010, 22:55, closed)

fucking minging

( rofl harris, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 13:36, closed)

Oh, I know I know!
"What is Sting?"
(Klangtarnflatchslapper looks just like a Telefunken U-47, Fri 19 Nov 2010, 17:13, closed)

I love you. That is all.

( Richard Shitheels, Fri 19 Nov 2010, 17:34, closed)

An Orgasm
Is not an orgasm without some sort of discharge! Fuck of Stephen Fry.

It would be like have a bungee jump off a kerb - in my view.

Its gotta squirt to count (male and female).
(Suck it and Sea, Fri 19 Nov 2010, 19:19, closed)

No, an orgasm usually causes an ejaculative squirtathon
However try wanking too much and get to the point of nothing coming out and still tell me you're not having a (albeit painful) orgasm
( Michael Ellis contributes nothing, Fri 19 Nov 2010, 20:05, closed)

A bloke I worked with
apparently made a bet with his missus. He bet her that he could start from flaccid, bone up, get a leg over and ejaculate, all in less than a minute. He was proud that he won the bet.
(M61A1 CUPID- STUNTS, Sat 20 Nov 2010, 9:12, closed)