Can I just say that in all my 44 years on this planet.
I have yet to come across anything broken that cannot be fixed with duct tape.
( girlinthehole, Thu 20 Aug 2009, 14:08, 28 replies)

erm...
... a hmyen?
(tarbin tarbis, tarbit, tarbamus, tarbimus, tarbant, Thu 20 Aug 2009, 14:12, closed)

Would work but might be fiddley.

( girlinthehole, Thu 20 Aug 2009, 15:37, closed)

why
did my mind go straight to that idea too?
( sudo is bored, Thu 20 Aug 2009, 21:04, closed)

Impotence?

(Bazongaloid, Thu 20 Aug 2009, 14:13, closed)

Duct tape & a lolly stick
jobs a goodun


;p
(sittingduck Attention seeking, bullshitting fuck-knuckle, Thu 20 Aug 2009, 14:30, closed)

^as above.

( girlinthehole, Thu 20 Aug 2009, 15:37, closed)

...
food that's gone mouldy?
( scoshi pretending to diet since, Thu 20 Aug 2009, 14:14, closed)

Doesn't count as broken.

( girlinthehole, Thu 20 Aug 2009, 15:38, closed)

Dead pets?

(Bazongaloid, Thu 20 Aug 2009, 14:20, closed)

Doesn't count as broken.

( girlinthehole, Thu 20 Aug 2009, 15:39, closed)

World peace?
A leaking aorta?
( M3rx likes the Asian ladies, Thu 20 Aug 2009, 14:20, closed)

Duct tape all the bombs to the firing ranges.
By the time they've cut them all off then they will have forgotton what they were angry about.

Leaking aortas, again doable but fiddley.
( girlinthehole, Thu 20 Aug 2009, 15:40, closed)

Visa applications?

(Bazongaloid, Thu 20 Aug 2009, 14:21, closed)

Doesn't count as broken.

( girlinthehole, Thu 20 Aug 2009, 15:40, closed)

a broken shoulder?

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 20 Aug 2009, 14:27, closed)

Easy peasy.
bang shoulder into place and duct-tape around shoulder and arm to fix into position until healed.
( girlinthehole, Thu 20 Aug 2009, 15:41, closed)

A broken heart?
broken dreams,
a broken mind.
( chenobble rocking his explorer beard on, Thu 20 Aug 2009, 14:28, closed)

For a broken heart.
Duct tape the heart breaker onto a chair and torture the fucker.
( girlinthehole, Thu 20 Aug 2009, 15:42, closed)

my soul?

( Damocles wants no part of your debauchery, Thu 20 Aug 2009, 14:28, closed)

My pride when I fell over a dog?

(Bazongaloid, Thu 20 Aug 2009, 14:30, closed)

You don't break your pride, you lose it.
You could always duct tape it to your briefcase so you don't lose it.
( girlinthehole, Thu 20 Aug 2009, 15:44, closed)

Broken goldfish
respond in a mediocre manner to duct tape
( Hampster Squared has stuff at www.tilla.co.uk, Thu 20 Aug 2009, 15:23, closed)

The broken English of the 'tard of a call centre clerk I'm talking to
I suppose we could always duct tape her mouth shut
( TheMagicDwarf is back like ballroom dancing, Thu 20 Aug 2009, 15:58, closed)

100 metres world record?
I think you'll find I win.
(Vice Admiral Sir Charles Cockbrush KCB MBE DSO, who is finding it increasingly difficult to log into b3ta.com wants to duck your aunt and kick your puppy, Thu 20 Aug 2009, 15:59, closed)

easy
Duct tape lots of food to the finish line, then usher in Meatloaf (who would do anything for grub) and Rick Waller (the only man in history to appear on maps) to the start line. They'll cover the ground in the lightning fast way that only fat people can, when presented with a buffet *and* chunky competion for said buffet. The previously broken record will thus be invalidated.
(The Incredible Sulk Finally remembered his password on, Thu 20 Aug 2009, 16:44, closed)

a broken
roll of duct tape.
( stopmeandslapme Cometh the hour, cometh your mum, Thu 20 Aug 2009, 18:30, closed)

i have
the kitchen sink in my old flat

it was leaking, so a previous tenant had wrapped it in duct tape
as a result i had to spend half an hour sawing of the tape in order ot spend two minutes fixing the seal.
( mictoboy shitting in your cunt since, Thu 20 Aug 2009, 23:38, closed)

British Democracy?
Hm?
(EffinDoubt is breaking glass on, Fri 21 Aug 2009, 7:40, closed)