I once had a kitty called Whiskers,
Who I'd hug and play with each day-
She would bound and leap and jump
and run, and be happy and generally gay.

But one day she found herself amist
the wheels of an oncoming truck.
She may have had the fuzziest face,
But she never had much luck.

It was no lie, her end was nigh,
She knew she would soon be dead.
And there sat I; laughter in my eye,
As I backed up over her head.

The end.
( Naive Amoeba Bored Cig, Fri 12 Aug 2005, 0:41, Reply)

snot
How do i compare the to a summer spot,
That doth grow on me from once wiped snot
that dribbled down my chin from higher places.
(fact12878, Fri 12 Aug 2005, 0:16, Reply)

Not mine, sadly, but a friend's
I am immortal
Life flows through me endlessly
Much time for cookies
(Luna loves you., Fri 12 Aug 2005, 0:15, Reply)

Erm...
...I was 13.

There once was a very weird cat
Whose owner said "you are too fat"
He ate too much food
Got in a bad mood
And threw it all up on the mat.

___

I am so sorry.
(DamoUK, Fri 12 Aug 2005, 0:14, Reply)

This was my master piece at age 4 that was put on the board with a smiley face
Water water in the mountain
Run down to all the people
In the valley
So they can have a drink

Not sure why. It's fucking shit.
( Mr Spleen Can do better. C-, Fri 12 Aug 2005, 0:00, Reply)

More of a song than a poem.
Fluffy the little bunny is no more
'Cause in her teenage years she was a whore
She would parol along the streets
And say to everyone she meets:

"Hey sailor would you like a good time?
Maybe a bit of company
I'll do anything that you would like
I will even wash your bike"

That's 'cause Fluffy was a whooooore.

With her Fluffy ears and twitchy little nose
She'd get covered in jizz from head to toes
She was even into kink
Two in the pink and one in the stink

That's 'cause Fluffy was a whooooore.

But it all turned sour late July
When she took on 300 guys
She was left as one big slit...
She was split, from arse to clit....

That's 'cause Fluffy was a-
Oh yes that Fluffy was a-
That's right that Fluffy
Is
A
Whooooooooooore!
( Naive Amoeba Bored Cig, Thu 11 Aug 2005, 23:42, Reply)

We had a thing
called the Death Book, to ease our boredom at school - over 100 different ways to kill teachers (because they HOUNDED us, poor little darlings). I wrote a poem about it, and it goes like this:

Mr Leech in an acid vat
Mr Porter mauled by a cat
Mrs Hampton skewered with pins
Mrs Stoor with flayed-off skin
We'll put their heads in a bag of bees
We'll tie piranhas to their knees
We'll gas them in the science lab
And lay them out on the mortuary slab!

Hooray for angry teenagers!
(sporks, Thu 11 Aug 2005, 23:39, Reply)

Go on then
My Eyes!
My Eyes!
Without my eyes
I'd fall off a cliff
and surely die
(Scarylion is wee'ing a lot, Thu 11 Aug 2005, 23:32, Reply)

Ahh well might aswell, this was the poem that i mentioned in my very short profile
Melt Away

How many lives
Must we go thru
Before we realise
We can only live our own?
So many ways to do all the
Things in this big bad world
So many tears to cry
And smiles to smile
The good is good
Yet the bad makes you want
To run and hide
All the time
Keeping your feelings inside
Not letting them out
Hoping that they will
Just one day
Melt away


Ima 18 i was 17 i think when i wrote this and it got published in some book
PEace
(Bhougal...hang me upside down from a banana tree and call me BERTTIE BHOUGAL>>>Oh Yeah...!!, Thu 11 Aug 2005, 23:30, Reply)

piss
I'm gonna be blunt;
You are a cunt.
( moogman, Thu 11 Aug 2005, 23:05, Reply)

doggerel in iambic tetrameter?
"The Ballad of Frog Scat Artichoke"

I as a fun funamulist,
in follow Susan roquefort piss.
For plethora retarded gay,
Celine Dion jurassic pay.

Immaculate regurgitate,
and flyer steeple simple date,
for all of n in one to ten,
Maurice, Maurice, Maurice, again.

Stochastic phlegm of fiddle went,
correct in typecast children lent.
Geronimo if forecast slay,
a god, terrific sponge, hooray!

And now a dirge in spanking hole,
fluorescent man in house of vole.
To wit, a speaking laughing train,
O poet, poet, now refrain.
(spazdor, Thu 11 Aug 2005, 23:00, Reply)

hmm
"her name was sadie
she was a lady
she wore babies in her hair
and had sky blue pubic hair"


"see see my cleavage
why don't you play with me?
why don't you rub me down?
with your vagina crown?
down even further,
where only cheese has grown,
my erogenous zone,
that's where you'll be!"
(rainmaker is 98% lurker., Thu 11 Aug 2005, 22:59, Reply)

Back in the dark, dark days of adolescence...
A box of matches
Spent and burned
The times you had
You never learned
Each time you flew
You lit a flame
Forgive and forget
Hidden by shame
And now you stand
Stripped to the bone
Standing rejected
Standing alone
With that last match
You burnt this scar
And now that match
Is all you are.
( Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Thu 11 Aug 2005, 22:57, Reply)

A 'funny' poem to try and redeem this qotw
not strictly adhering to this qotw, but its a bit rubbish so who cares:

I don' read an' I don' 'rite,
but tha' don' really mattr'
caus' I com' from somerset
an' I cn' drive a tractor

- said in a very broad accent for best effect:)
(PixelGirl unlock the mind...unmind the lock, Thu 11 Aug 2005, 22:28, Reply)

Being a teenager at the moment, I'll give you a cracker I wrote recently
I entered it for last year's school poetry competition. Usually it takes me ages to write a poem, but I knocked this one up in 15 minutes. I can only think it must have been divine inspiration.
The genre-defining masterpiece is entitled 'Oscar the Ocillating Ocelot'

He sits in his tree high above the ground
Slowly spinning round and round
He hates to spend his life this way
Swinging to and fro all day.

Sometimes in his cycle he sees his friend
And tries, if he's present, a message to send
"Hi, Fred the Fluctuating Flying Fox-
I'll see you again next crow of cocks!"

His motion, you see, is regular
Round four times a day each day of the year
He meets Fred, due to this, only once a day
Quite some time to think of something to say.

One day he fell out of his tree
Both literally and metaphorically.
His nauseating swaying had driven him mad
The moral of this: oscillating is sad.

Unfortunately this failed to win me the competition, which only goes to show that english teachers don't get everything right.
(WarneMarsh My priority for frivolity begets quality jollity, Thu 11 Aug 2005, 22:26, Reply)

A valentine's poem.
Roses can be any colour you like except black because they haven't been genetically modified like that yet
Violets are purple
If it weren't so expensive, nor was it illegal
I'd import you a turtle.

Just flows off the tongue.

And stop complaining about the QOTWs; if you have a problem with them, fuck off and don't post. No-one gives a donkey's cock if you leave b3ta forever, as you're contributing shit all.


Edit/ and loads of you should go here - browse.deviantart.com/poetry/philosophical/open/?view=1&order=9&limit=24
( Naive Amoeba Bored Cig, Thu 11 Aug 2005, 22:22, Reply)

If I were Emo
If I were Emo
I'd live in my room
Wah wah wahing
Then I'd take some shrooms
The colours would brighten
The ceiling would melt
My hands become goldfish
My tongue becomes felt
Now I'm no professor
But I'm-a go out on a limb
The shrooms make me shout "REBELLION
BECAUSE THIS WEEKS QOTW IS QUIM"


thank you, thank you
I'm here all evening
(doris_day, Thu 11 Aug 2005, 22:21, Reply)

Posted this on deadlounge a while ago.
Deadlounge is a forum for goffiks. i decided to take the piss with this poem

Romeo Und Julia

Your tears of white
Our fears of black
Uncovered by dawn
Relentless attack

A murder of ravens
Leaves falling by night
Liasions most secret
Love's angels delight

Gravestones seperated
As in life they lie
Yearning but denied their
Sentimental goodbyes

Robbed of all their closeness,
Of all that was pure
Feuding and discord
Lineage sponsored war

Read the acronym.

They loved it.

Dispite the immense length and substantial girth.
(Slyph, Thu 11 Aug 2005, 21:29, Reply)

This just occured to me
Roses are red,
Violets are...

...fucking violet, if they were fucking blue they would be called Blues.
(JaffaMused local in the So.Cal, Thu 11 Aug 2005, 21:12, Reply)

R Kelly remix
I believe I can fly,
I got arrested by the FBI,
All I wanted was a bag of chips,
Instead I got shot in my dangly bits...


Also --

Diarrhoea, diarrhoea,

it comes out your bum like pedigree chum/bullet from a gun.
(David Fishwick Minibus Sales - notmad.co.uk, Thu 11 Aug 2005, 21:12, Reply)

My friend at school reckoned he wrote this:
L O L O A Q I C,
I 8 2 Q B 4 I P

I know now that he was a lying fothermucker, but it still made us giggle like the girls we had no luck with.....
(Technotrousers is a caffeine-based lifeform, Thu 11 Aug 2005, 21:00, Reply)