Legless' post reminds me...
Earlier this year, on a Bank Holiday, there was a knock on my front door. I answered it and was faced with two girls in Barnardo's t-shirts. "Hello," they chirped, "we're visiting you on behalf of Barnardo's children's charity." They then launched into a lengthy description of how I could give only £2 per month to help an orphan.

Three things sprang to mind as I (politely) said "No thank you":

1) Giving to charity is very a personal thing. If I want to contribute I am likely to have charities in mind with whom I have some sort of empathy or link.
2) Bearing that in mind, it is unlikely I'd be swayed into extra philanthropy by someone knocking on my door on my day off.
3) If I was the sort to be swayed into parting with money on the basis of a random stranger knocking on my door then that would make me some sort of vulnerable victim who needs protecting from cold callers, charitable or not.

I got annoyed about this and emailed Barnardo's:

Hi,

I understand the need for charities to maximise their fundraising. I understand charity muggers are one (annoying) way of doing this. What I don't understand is why someone thought it would be a good idea to send teams of charity muggers door-to-door in my neightbourhood. This does not endear me to your charitable cause. In fact, it has the opposite effect. I signed up to the Telephone and Mail Preference Services for a reason. If there is a door-to-door equivalent where I can register my address to stop being bothered by cold callers, that would be wonderful. It's one thing meeting charity muggers on the street; it's a very different matter when they're knocking, unsolicited, on my door on a Bank Holiday.

Good luck with all the fundraising done by Barnardo's - just please reconsider the tactics used.

Thanks,
CHCB

- which I thought didn't make me look like a total cunt, just a partial one.

I received a reply containing the sentence:
Door fundraising is one of Barnardo’s most successful forms of generating income. Indeed the £3.5m raised directly from this type of fundraising during the last financial year alone was enough to fund 55 projects for vulnerable children across the UK. For this reason the activity is extremely important to the children and young people we work with.

£3500000? I must be a complete tightwad. I wouldn't even give them two quid a month.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Tue 28 Oct 2008, 12:44, 29 replies)

I feel obliged
to reply since I seem to do so with all your posts. Now if Bert were here we could talk about spaffing cocks.
( Bazongaloid, Tue 28 Oct 2008, 12:53, closed)

Well put
We also get these chaps "round our way" every now and then.

Whilst they are annoying, I always feel guilty when turning them away.
(brainwrong, Tue 28 Oct 2008, 12:54, closed)

they can smell guilt
like wasps smell fear.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Tue 28 Oct 2008, 12:56, closed)

"I hate children"
is a good response.

Or my preferred alternative, "I dont care".

Or if you really want to ruin their day, try,

"I dont believe in charity - it only encourages them".
(bazmorningstar efil4nat3b, Tue 28 Oct 2008, 12:58, closed)

all
of the above.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Tue 28 Oct 2008, 12:59, closed)

I agree completely
Also, these charity muggers are in a lot of cases (perhaps not all!) paid commission on it ... I'd rather give my money to a charity which doesn't PAY fund-raisers.
(Penguins_Made_Me_Do_It is a dolt ... and she don't care, Tue 28 Oct 2008, 13:02, closed)

I have a relevant comment now
In manchester a bloke used to come round every thursday afternoon and say he was collecting for the blind. He himself appeared partially sighted. He was in fact collecting for himself, so I ignored him after the first time.
( Bazongaloid, Tue 28 Oct 2008, 13:03, closed)

£2 a month for children?
Go on then, it's cheaper than sexyorphans4you.com
(Binary Solo loves a bit of algebra, Tue 28 Oct 2008, 13:15, closed)

simple
Have a doorbell, but dont connect it up to the ringer. Cold callers won't get a response from you, and anyone who genuinely knows you will knock.
(kebabking - salad and garlic mayo pls, Tue 28 Oct 2008, 13:15, closed)

I appreciate
That not everyone is comfortable with people involved with charities getting paid, but how on earth are they expected to grow and raise sufficient money without the right staff in place?

I know that most charities work on the basis that for each £100 spent on fundraising, they expect to receive £250 back. Which is surely preferable to them spending no money on funding raising and having the odd school fair and waiting for them to get the Blue Peter appeal gig.

Door to door sales (or Chugging if you want to put it in a fund-raising context) can earn comission, but its rarely more than about seven-quid an hour when you aggregate it.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 28 Oct 2008, 13:17, closed)

You won't spare £2 a month and you won't buy condoms
mmm...I see a picture coming together here. I bet you don't even turn the heating on and sit in a massive wooly jumper you bought from the charity shop.
(The Archduke of South London I'm in your Girlfriend eating her organs, Tue 28 Oct 2008, 13:18, closed)

Damn you!
Do you have a hidden camera in my house?

I raised over £5K for charity last year. But it was a charity for mental people, not orphans. Less cute.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Tue 28 Oct 2008, 13:20, closed)

I just checked my webcam
I think you left your iron on.

Well done on raising £5k. I don't think I even raised an eyebrow last year.
(The Archduke of South London I'm in your Girlfriend eating her organs, Tue 28 Oct 2008, 13:28, closed)

I only raised £375 this year.
I was slacking somewhat.

That wouldn't even help half an orphan, probably.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Tue 28 Oct 2008, 13:55, closed)

I don't know why..
but whenever I get cold callers I always tell them the same thing "I'm Jewish" before they say anything. This always results in them then walking away.

Now I'm not Jewish, nor do I use it to be racist (I'm not mel gibson!) however I just used it one time when Mormons were knocking as I thought it would be funny.

Yet when I say it the cold callers always leave me alone, so am I the tight one, or are they for assuming that if I'm jewish won't give them anything?
(One_Winged_Angel Ich Dien, Tue 28 Oct 2008, 13:46, closed)

It's probably because Jews have a majority holding in sympathy
stocks cos of what that nasty Hitler did.
(bazmorningstar efil4nat3b, Tue 28 Oct 2008, 13:48, closed)

Someone at work just asked me
if I wanted to buy a raffle ticket for children with leukaemia.

My response 'No thanks, I don't know what I'd do with one if I won, they need quite a lot of looking after don't they?' did NOT go down well...

Some people have no sense of humour at all.

(ps I give via Gift Aid direct debit, so the taxman can pay his share on my donations)
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Tue 28 Oct 2008, 13:48, closed)

I'm definitely
going to try this next time someone asks me to buy raffle tickets. Someone asked me if I wanted to enter a raffle for alzeimers patients on Saturday, a missed opportunity I feel.
(The Kwyjibo A big, dumb, balding North American ape., Tue 28 Oct 2008, 14:15, closed)

Oh, that'd be awful!
If you forgot where you put your prize they'd not know where they were either!
( uberdeity Wondered why Owen Lars knew of the term "hell" on, Tue 28 Oct 2008, 15:41, closed)

Where did all that money go?

£3.5 million on 55 projects equates to £63636.36 per project.

What the fuck was wrong with these children? did they all need brand new golden spines or something?
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 28 Oct 2008, 13:51, closed)

Heh,
I wish I'd asked that when they emailed me.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Tue 28 Oct 2008, 13:56, closed)

Psychology eh?
Luckily, Mrs G hates answering the door in the evening, otherwise we'd be in hock to a dozen charities instead of the two chosen lucky recipients of £2 per month from the Grimsdale household. I have no problem saying "No thanks", though I also don't resent the chuggers - it's their job; feel free to say 'no' or say 'o.k.' take the consequences, but it doesn't get me riled. I've never played the jewish card, not even for Christian Aid, as it would lead to more problems than it solves: I don't want to argue about scripture, I want to get back to my armchair.

Once I've shut the door, Mrs G gets all dewey-eyed at the thought of some poor starving student or Eastern European trudging round in the dark trying to scrape a living. This ISN'T being tight - it's called choosing your causes, as CHCB says. I've run half marathons for MacMillan nurses and the British Red Cross, don't ever try to tell me who I should give money to - you've probably got a higher disposable income than me anyway - and I won't tell you how to raise money for your good cause.
(Che Grimsdale Best before:, Tue 28 Oct 2008, 14:15, closed)

We had some toff round to the door the other day
saying that they were having a sponsored triathlon or similar and were raising money for children from abusive homes (I think)

now I don't mind people coming to the door for these things infrequently, as long as they take my first no for an answer.

Chugger: *deliers spiel*
Me: I'm sorry I don't have any cash at the moment (true, I'd been off work ill for a few days and had no need for it, or chance to get it)
Chugger: are you sure? not even any coppers?
Me: no *slams door*
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 28 Oct 2008, 14:22, closed)

Hehe
I had a mother and a girl guide offspring come to my door collecting for sponsorship for something but they ended up backing off and running away.

What?

All I said was 'In the interests of Megan's Law...'
(powervator and NONE SHALL PASS, Tue 28 Oct 2008, 14:30, closed)

Oxfam
I have been paying to Oxfam for many years by direct debit. It starts off at £2 per month but thereafter they are forever calling and asking you to put it up to £5, £10 etc. Wouldn't have done it if I'd known.

What I hate most, though, is everytime I go into town to do some shopping I get mugged by hoards of 'smiley' people in the high street after money for this that and t'other. I want to growl at them.
(misspiggy In danger of having to get a job, Tue 28 Oct 2008, 14:34, closed)

I do the £2 a month thing to Cancer Research. They kept sending me letters asking for more. I wrote in giant black marker pen on their letter "IF YOU KEEP SPENDING MY DONATIONS ON ASKING ME FOR MORE MONEY, I WILL STOP DONATING", and sent it back to them (in the supplied envelope) with the envelope they sent it in included.

No more letters since then.
(Musuko, Tue 28 Oct 2008, 19:31, closed)

I did 6 weeks of chugging once
it's a thankless job. I never suffered migraines before that job, but ever since I've been getting them periodically.

If the charities get money from it, I'm not going to begrudge them for supporting it.

My defense of chugging:
* "I'll donate to charities I know about"
How do you find out about charities in the first place? Adverts? News items? These cost money through advertisers and PR agencies. Chuggers are another means of getting the message of the charity's work out.

* "I'll donate when I choose, not when someone asks me to."
I don't believe this. People are much more likely to donate when they're asked to, and very few have the initiative to set up a direct debit unless they get a flyer from a magazine or something.

* "I don't know if they're genuine."
In theory, you can ask them for ID; the ID will probably have a phone number on it you can call to check if the fundraiser you're talking to is genuine. In practice, you don't know who owns the phone number so it doesn't really help much. If someone fraudulently sets up a direct debit on your account I think the bank will reimburse you but I'm not 100% sure on that.

* "They're annoying cunts."
Actually, no disagreement here. Chuggers annoy the crap out of me too. The worst are the middle-aged women on Westminster Bridge who shove white heather into your chest.
( rhebus ac201fd270c3b96beab24f2829780ab2, Tue 28 Oct 2008, 15:16, closed)

Not to mention
the many years Barnardos spent abusing children in their "care".
(ubergeekian, Tue 28 Oct 2008, 15:56, closed)

I agree!!
I work for a charity which doesn't use door to door fundraising or charity muggers and we do pretty well! I think it only discourages people to give.
(YayLady is cold, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 19:13, closed)