Tipping #2
On a recent date the 'gentleman' in question suggested splitting the bill. No problem with that, would have suggested it myself. However he did leave me to sort out the whole of the tip, having calculated his half to the penny.

Another friend of mine, who I shall call Kermit, also does this on a regular basis, but I'm used to that - he's so tight he squeaks when he walks.

But on a first (and, unsurprisingly, last) date?
(misspiggy In danger of having to get a job, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 10:53, 35 replies)

I mean, equality for the sexes and all that
but a date is a date; men - treat your lady! It's not eroding female civil liberties if you cough up a few quid for a meal. If the lady insists on going dutch then so be it, but be prepared to fork out for the meal.

Otherwise, it will likely be your first, and last, date as illustrated.
( LemonEntryMyDearWatson This time, Moriarty, the hand is on the other foot, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 11:00, closed)

Dutch oven?

( flake has nothing against your right leg, Thu 30 Oct 2008, 0:40, closed)

What a fucking double-standard and a half
I always insist on paying the full bill when on a first date, but if the girl I'm with works full time, as I do, earns around as much as I do, why the hell shouldn't she pay half?

I always pay all of it, I'm just saying that men shouldn't have to. Women don't deserve free meals just for being pretty and having boobs and whatnot.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 11:07, closed)

Bert?
Did you actually read my post? My issue was with the tipping, not with splitting the bill.
(misspiggy In danger of having to get a job, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 11:09, closed)

I did read your post
and the impression I got was that you were annoyed that he split the bill and then had the cheek not to contribute towards a tip.

You wouldn't have mentioned the former if it wasn't an issue for you, which it absolutely should not be. I would never expect anybody to buy me a meal, but I would agree that not tipping is pretty tight.

(I know this reply is pretty late, but damned work distracted me for a bit)
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 13:19, closed)

Oh God Burt.
Why are you so rubbish?
( Cawl, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 11:38, closed)

I don't know Kaol
Why are you so gay?
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 13:31, closed)

Because
you keep bumming him while he's asleep. Is it any wonder the poor lad is an insomniac.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 14:15, closed)

HAHAHAHA!
That's Reply Of The Day.
Amazing!
( Cawl, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 16:09, closed)

Yes we bloody do!
we bloody do!
(Juan Quar is clinging to her front teeth on, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 11:58, closed)

They really do, you know.

(Seance Trumpet has got no beef with a man enjoying a croissant, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 12:03, closed)

Bert, bert, bert
Boobies are fantastic, and if buying a meal means you get to see some, then just buy the bloody meal.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 12:22, closed)

My first dates
I always get them a Happy Meal. That way they get a drink, some processed meat, chips AND a toy. What more could a girl want? -and that definitely deserves some booby action.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 13:25, closed)

My first dates
always get some processed meat whether I buy them a happy meal or not.

It was an unfortunate accident with a blender.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 14:15, closed)

Poor Mrs al :C
I'd hope that every girl I'd been on a date with used their toy at some point
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 14:18, closed)

I'm sure
they used it to poke out their eyes once they clapped eyes on your hairy torso.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 14:21, closed)

Very true
When I started dating my girlfriend, despite her earning wayyy more than me I insisted on paying the bill for all the meals in wetherspoons...

what?

But seriously, yeah initially the bloke should offer to pay for the meal and the tip can be halved or the extra to the nearest 5er (whichever is more). But now I pay on special occasions (birthday) and she'll do the same as me...

So yeah, defo first and last date...
(Fuckarma was masturbating into your handbag, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 11:17, closed)

This is good advice.
So, the general rule of thumb is that on the first date, pay for the lot (inc drinks?). (Sorry, I’ve been out of the dating game for quiet some time).

Additionally, if it acceptable these days to meet a potential suitor through one of these online dating websites? I’m been having a gander now for a while and don’t know if there is any sort of stigma involved? (Mates are taking the piss regardless).

Also, is not ordering coffee at the end of a meal (that I’d be paying for, if it’s the first time) too obvious that you’d like the other party to ‘put the kettle on’ at the end of the night?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 11:29, closed)

I'm sure it's not the case
But if I weren't interested in a second date then suggesting we split the bill may well be a way of saying so.

Bang out of order on the tip thing though.
(nebbie, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 12:02, closed)

Whilst quibbling over the tip is clearly not good behaviour..
Paying for all the bill on the first date? (as per other comments here) Fuck off!

1) You are no more, and no less important than me.
2) I don't care if you have tits; it doesn't make you special.
3) Your time isn't more important than mine
4) I am neither a fuck toy that shags on demand nor a comfort blanket that will wait endlessly. These things are mutual compromises.

It's depressing how many dates seem to think they're entitled, and fail on one of the above points.
(EssY, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 12:59, closed)

YEAH
Being an old-fashioned kind of chap, I always pay the full bill on a first date, and usually a few dates after that if they go well, but if a girl I was with expects me to pay the full bill, well she can just fuck right off.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 13:23, closed)

Single?
I offer to pay, andalso on special occasions (her birthday and the like) and the favour is returned, so no, there is a lot of fairness in it.
(Fuckarma was masturbating into your handbag, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 13:29, closed)

I've been with Mrs Monkeysex
for more than two years, and she's never contributed a penny for any of our dates. Mind you, she's a law student, so in a few years she'll be ridiculously rich and I'll be a kept man.

Hooray!
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 13:50, closed)

Bert
that's defo true!

My missus is a solicitor (we met after she passed) and she's got on a fair old whack after only 2 years
(Fuckarma was masturbating into your handbag, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 14:00, closed)

Wahey!
*whistles 'We're in the money'*

We gotta lotta what it takes to get along :D
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 14:02, closed)

Just
be prepared for use of legal terms and losing arguments!
(Fuckarma was masturbating into your handbag, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 14:03, closed)

I'm already there
That woman just will not let something go, even if we argue over something trivial, she will;
Explain why I'm wrong (even if she's the one in the wrong)
Explain what I need to do to see her point of view, and therefore change my own.
Tell me that I need to apologise, and somehow convince me of the error of my ways, even if I was completely right to begin with.

I love that woman, and I'm getting used to losing arguments now, I actually find it quite sexy.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 14:07, closed)

ahem
Tell me that I need to apologise, and somehow convince me of the error of my ways, even if I was completely right to begin with. didn't want to have sex at the time.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 14:22, closed)

Why yes, I am single
are you surprised? ;). Not that I care that much - I have plenty to occupy my time.

You can alternate things, but then that assumes you'll actually reach date 2..

I don't like setting dangerous precedents. IME insisting on being treated is a red flag (the other main one is trying to assert that you should drop your social life to be with them when they're free, when they're not willing to do that themselves)
(EssY, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 14:20, closed)

I do keep hearing/reading people saying
that whoever did the asking-out-to-dinner should be the one that pays.

I think a lot of women like the guy to *offer* to pay, even if he then agrees to split. Not bothered myself, I always insist on splitting it, being a feminazi type (we have our plus points, guys). Plus I don't want them thinking I owe them something.
(Binary Solo loves a bit of algebra, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 13:15, closed)

I totally agree
On the last bit. Some men seem to think that paying for your meal entitles them to other action. I'd rather pay any day.
(misspiggy In danger of having to get a job, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 13:29, closed)

I'd also agree with that
Which is why when I pay the full amount, I always make it clear that it's just my thing, I'm not expecting anything in return.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 13:33, closed)

I offer to pay
because I'm nice like that. But I make it clear that this doesn't mean she's getting any from me.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 14:25, closed)

I pay
and then lace the meal with rohympnol...

Everyone's a winner!
(Fuckarma was masturbating into your handbag, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 16:39, closed)

That's another convenient get out
It looks a sensible idea on first view, but the main problems are :

Alternating payment on meals etc only really makes sense for someone you already know.

In straight dating the proportion of women who will not ask a man out, ever, is non trivial. Of the women who will ask a man out, there are also a (mad) minority, who will then claim the man did the asking and should pay when he actually didn't..

End result : men end up out of pocket more than women. I think sometimes this is accidental, and know sometimes it is a deliberate sense of entitlement by the woman.

Having said all the above, though, the vast majority of my dates have been with independent women who tend to split the bill as standard. Any subsequent failure has not been, as far as I can see, due to who paid.
(EssY, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 14:33, closed)