fluffybunnykiller
Entertain visitors to puerile humour websites by remembering that spelling, grammar and punctuation checks, available on word processing packages, are your friend.
( smokey bobinson westing by musket and sexton, Wed 29 Jun 2011, 18:38, 1 reply, 14 years ago)

avoid being hand cuffed
by being a twice convicted arab thief
( fluffybunnykiller Is feasting on the clitoris of life, Wed 29 Jun 2011, 17:43, Reply)

people of greece are you facing bankruptcy and cash flow problems? have you had red letters demanding your over due amounts?
simply call cash4gold and we will buy all your old broken or scrap gold with prices at an all time high now has never been a better time to help clear your debts
this tip bought to you by cdc and gordon brown money managment ltd
( fluffybunnykiller Is feasting on the clitoris of life, Wed 29 Jun 2011, 16:45, Reply)

avoid becoming yet another statistic
by not standing up and being cunted
( fluffybunnykiller Is feasting on the clitoris of life, Wed 29 Jun 2011, 15:37, 2 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Lie on top of someone else for half an hour
so it feels like you're having a wank.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 29 Jun 2011, 15:22, Reply)

Cheapskates...make your own porn using commonly available punctuation marks...
(. )(. )
(The Archduke of South London I'm in your Girlfriend eating her organs, Wed 29 Jun 2011, 14:46, 2 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Avoid being arrested
by letting burglars do whatever they want.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 29 Jun 2011, 12:48, 1 reply, 14 years ago)

recreate an Extreme Sports -style thrill of uncertainty and unbearable tension followed by a rush of endorphins
safely in the comfort of your own home by misplacing your passport on the morning you are due to fly out on holiday.
( Rotating Wobbly Hat That's not a banana. THIS is a banana., Wed 29 Jun 2011, 11:51, Reply)

Although the Supremes claim 'You can't hurry love'
If you're paying a masseuse by the hour and 'extras' are involved,it is positively beneficial to hurry love so you can fit in an extra one within the allotted time.
( Rotating Wobbly Hat That's not a banana. THIS is a banana., Wed 29 Jun 2011, 10:00, 3 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

'Top Tip' your dessert
by adding Carnation Evaporated Milk...
(SonoraAeroClub "OH SWEET HELEN OF BALLS!", Wed 29 Jun 2011, 0:56, Reply)

This is a Top Tip from my mum.
If you're being picked on by a gang of school-age bullies who always wait for you by the side of the road they know you have to walk by to get home, 'disarm' their strategic advantage in numbers, muscle, confidence etcetera by simply issuing the statement 'there's no need to be so belligerent'. Instantly the effect will be noticed as the majority of the evil crew will become so paralysed by confusions to the meaning of the word that they will let you pass with no impedance, and those who do understand what the word means will tip their hat to you in respect and allow you free passage also.

Yes Mum, that's exactly what will happen.
( Rotating Wobbly Hat That's not a banana. THIS is a banana., Tue 28 Jun 2011, 21:28, 1 reply, 14 years ago)

when working for the samaritans phone help line ask people if it is ok to put them on hold and then forget about them till the following mornings local paper hits the door mat

( fluffybunnykiller Is feasting on the clitoris of life, Tue 28 Jun 2011, 20:17, 1 reply, 14 years ago)

Zoo keepers!
Make elephants think they're anteaters by making everything in their enclosures four times the size.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 28 Jun 2011, 12:42, Reply)

makers of porn films make it more belivable by
not buying your battery's from poundland and have the music play like tard on a window
have you ever tried to keep the rythem with a film that the music slows and speeds
( fluffybunnykiller Is feasting on the clitoris of life, Tue 28 Jun 2011, 11:32, Reply)

Lose weight
And save money on shower gel.
(MrOli is ugly, but in the morning you will be sober, Tue 28 Jun 2011, 10:53, Reply)

Save money buying expensive CDs by simply bit-torrenting any music you want.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 28 Jun 2011, 8:57, Reply)

eBay Sellers
make out the '80s to be better than they really were by requesting opening bids for a 'very good' CD copy of 'Now That's What I Call Music Vol. 4' for £200...
(SonoraAeroClub "OH SWEET HELEN OF BALLS!", Tue 28 Jun 2011, 0:02, 3 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Parents!
Want to discourage your children from demanding expensive sickly treats whenever the ice-cream van comes round? Simply tell them that when the music is playing, it means the driver's got an erection.
(costas, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 22:51, 2 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

morbidly obese people help save the worlds oxygen supply by dying soon rather than later
thus safe guarding the future stock pile of pies
( fluffybunnykiller Is feasting on the clitoris of life, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 19:09, Reply)

a stork on a stick makes an excellent back scrub for freakishly large people

( fluffybunnykiller Is feasting on the clitoris of life, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 19:07, Reply)

pulling spines out of hedge hogs is an ideal way of playing
she loves me
she loves me not
( fluffybunnykiller Is feasting on the clitoris of life, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 19:06, Reply)

An 'edge'og with its spines removed makes an ideal pin cushion.

(oneinthepink is at your cervix m'lady, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 16:42, Reply)

Half a hedgehog nailed to a short plank makes an ideal hairbrush.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 15:17, 3 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Jane Norman Ladieswear Stores
Overcome your financial troubles by becoming a menswear store, but retaining your female staff, with their excellent buttocks. If I was shopping for pants and I had the choice of being served by the rat-faced Darrens in Burtons, the surly Lynx-drenched dimbos in Topman or the perfectly-formed godesses in your store, you'd certainly get my money (as well as several hours of my 'browsing time', and only the occassional unsavoury changing-room 'discovery').
(costas, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 15:00, 2 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Incease the assumption of your age by your neighbours
by wearing beige, and a coat and complaining about how it is too hot.
(robneymcplum spiced up his life on, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 14:57, 1 reply, 14 years ago)

failed x factor peoples on stage behind the curtains those ropes are there for a reason try using one next time for a much better chance of tv fame

( fluffybunnykiller Is feasting on the clitoris of life, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 13:36, Reply)

Beyonce
standing on stage and saying 'I always dreamed of being a rock star' does not, in point of fact, make you a rock star.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 13:34, Reply)

X-Factor Auditionees
Don't take Rotating Wobbly Hat's advice below, as we enjoy laughing at your entire lack of talent, and feel all warm, fuzzy and righteous when you piss and moan about how Simon Cowell is a nasty man. Keep it up.

Also, extra points if you try to dance.

Dance, monkeys, dance.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 13:19, Reply)

X-Factor auditionists
retain whatever tattered scraps of dignity you still have by not arguing with Simon Cowell that you CAN sing 'actually', and don't refer to him as 'mean' in post-audition interviews. If he was actually mean he wouldn't stop at your manifestly obvious lack of singing skills but instead widen the criticism to include your other glaringly obvious shortcomings, i.e. appearence, attitude, intelligence level etc.
( Rotating Wobbly Hat That's not a banana. THIS is a banana., Mon 27 Jun 2011, 13:09, Reply)