make internet porn more voyeuristic
by fixing half-drawn curtains to your computer monitor and watching from he next room with binoculars
( Rotating Wobbly Hat That's not a banana. THIS is a banana., Wed 24 Aug 2011, 10:20, Reply)

a sense of humour is a great asset when posting top tippery

( fluffybunnykiller Is feasting on the clitoris of life, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 8:16, 2 replies, latest was 13 years ago)

Try posting real or genuinely amusing tips
Cos some of the ones on here are just nonsensical rubbish
(wehttamman via B3ta for microwave, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 4:37, Reply)

Don't take cuttings of flowers from other people's gardens without asking
It may look pretty but it could be Bind Weed that will strangle and kill all your other plants and be impossible to remove.
Wont make that mistake again will you mother?
(wehttamman via B3ta for microwave, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 4:28, Reply)

avoid shitting mother in laws by not eating them raw

( fluffybunnykiller Is feasting on the clitoris of life, Tue 23 Aug 2011, 19:55, Reply)

recreate the taste of the sweets that grandad used to give you
by coughing phlegm into the pack and leaving it to harden
( fluffybunnykiller Is feasting on the clitoris of life, Tue 23 Aug 2011, 17:54, Reply)

Annoy serial shitters
by killing your Mother in Law
( Vambo, Tue 23 Aug 2011, 15:30, Reply)

Annoy serial killers
by shitting on your mother-in-law
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Tue 23 Aug 2011, 11:01, Reply)

Madeleine mccann is a not a good choice of role model for sufferers of scopophobia

( fluffybunnykiller Is feasting on the clitoris of life, Mon 22 Aug 2011, 23:07, 3 replies, latest was 13 years ago)

super glue is not a good stand in for vaginal lubricunt

( fluffybunnykiller Is feasting on the clitoris of life, Mon 22 Aug 2011, 20:38, 4 replies, latest was 13 years ago)

Recreate old playground jokes.
By being fat and awkward.
(speedevil, Mon 22 Aug 2011, 9:43, Reply)

Catch cholera and typhoid
by swimming in the Humber near the riverside village of Paull.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Mon 22 Aug 2011, 9:12, Reply)

Professor Brian Cox
Makes an ideal Patrick Moore for shallow people.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Mon 22 Aug 2011, 9:09, Reply)

Recreate old playground jokes
by taking a zebra to a tanning shop
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Mon 22 Aug 2011, 9:04, Reply)

Recreate old playground jokes
by rolling a nun down a hill.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Mon 22 Aug 2011, 9:04, Reply)

Dandelions,
Dock leaves and plantain do not a 'wild-flower garden' make.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Mon 22 Aug 2011, 9:03, Reply)

An A3 size sheet of paper
Makes and ideal A4 sheet of paper for a 12ft tall person.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Mon 22 Aug 2011, 8:58, 4 replies, latest was 13 years ago)

Annoy your mother in law
by shitting in her cereal.
(robneymcplum spiced up his life on, Sat 20 Aug 2011, 16:59, 5 replies, latest was 13 years ago)

WOMEN
make the situation even more uncomfortable by telling your gentleman partner that it isnt a problem, it happens to lots of men and you werent really bothered anyway, and are happy just with a cuddle.
(robneymcplum spiced up his life on, Sat 20 Aug 2011, 16:58, 3 replies, latest was 13 years ago)

Reduce nappy use and waste in your child filled home
by adding silica gel rather than sugar or salt to their meals.
(robneymcplum spiced up his life on, Sat 20 Aug 2011, 16:55, Reply)

Enjoy the fun of Amsterdam in your own home
by having a few grolschs, smoking a bit of weed and paying your missus 100 quid to look less interested than normal as you fuck her.
(robneymcplum spiced up his life on, Sat 20 Aug 2011, 16:53, 1 reply, 13 years ago)

Help your neighbour to get a day off work
by secretly injecting his pint of milk outside his house with exlax.
(robneymcplum spiced up his life on, Sat 20 Aug 2011, 16:51, Reply)

Competitive types: outdo your friends, relatives and neighbours by going on holiday to the moon.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 8:50, 4 replies, latest was 13 years ago)

A 50" plasma screen
makes an ideal 'cinema screen' for pixies, fairies, goblins and elves...
(SonoraAeroClub "OH SWEET HELEN OF BALLS!", Fri 19 Aug 2011, 7:53, Reply)

waiting for a new QOTW? go over to talk and discover why everyone else avoids them
seriously WTF is going on in that zoo?!
(DreddPirateBob has watched every scifi film ever on, Thu 18 Aug 2011, 23:26, 3 replies, latest was 13 years ago)

Seriously piss off ScaryDuck by constantly complaining about the lack of a QOTW.
I mean, it's only fucking 10:05pm 10:58pm innit?
( His Popiness the Hole Invaded Poland on, Thu 18 Aug 2011, 22:04, Reply)

Seriously piss off prudish people by only talking in coarse mode.

( flake has nothing against your right leg, Thu 18 Aug 2011, 21:50, Reply)

when QoTW has finished get a head start by thinking up outragouse lies and unfeasable spelling mistakes to keep your self occupied

( fluffybunnykiller Is feasting on the clitoris of life, Thu 18 Aug 2011, 20:29, Reply)

When looking for devices which let you power a trio of appliances from a single power socket
be careful that your boss doesn't see you type "3-way" into Google.
( flake has nothing against your right leg, Thu 18 Aug 2011, 20:20, Reply)

When configuring a VPN client
don't forget to set the router's VPN passthrough options correctly. It saves a lot of time trying to troubleshoot an apparently faulty VPN.
( flake has nothing against your right leg, Thu 18 Aug 2011, 18:55, Reply)