sunbed girls
i love quietly singing the oompa loompa song at them as i walk past, orange freaks that they are.
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 20 May 2011, 18:14, 30 replies)

I might start doing this.
I tend to just laugh at my mental image of them in ten years with patchy and wrinkled skin and, perhaps, a melanoma or three. See "Fergie" of Black Eyed Peas for reasons not to tan too much.
(Me, I'm not... in any way intoxicated, Fri 20 May 2011, 18:22, closed)

like orange leather :(

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 20 May 2011, 18:47, closed)

It's not too bad considering she spent twenty years as a heavily-bearded trucker.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 20 May 2011, 19:58, closed)

Make that a crack smoking "heavily-bearded trucker"...(Fergie of the Black Eyed ear torturers...)
(iamdoingapooasisignup, Fri 20 May 2011, 20:33, closed)

I thought she was servicing said truckers?

(Me, I'm not... in any way intoxicated, Fri 20 May 2011, 23:44, closed)

Hee hee!
Harsh but fair.
Subtle yet scathing.
I can't think of a third:-(
( Blind Meach Cautiously optimistic, Fri 20 May 2011, 18:31, closed)

best part is
they seem, on the most part, to be too stupid to realise why i'm doing it ;)
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 20 May 2011, 18:48, closed)

I was going to point out
I reckon unless you cloned yourself and had a cardboard cutout Johnnie Depp, most of them wouldn't know wtf you were on about! ;)
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Fri 20 May 2011, 20:14, closed)

want to try hanging around your local
beauty training center/college/special needs school and watch the lunch time parade of david dickinson wannabe's
( fluffybunnykiller Is feasting on the clitoris of life, Fri 20 May 2011, 19:01, closed)

i can't
the hairspray levels make me choke
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 20 May 2011, 19:51, closed)

a good moment then
for a carelessly discarded naked flame
oh how we all laughed at the flaming flailing orange skinned air heads
( fluffybunnykiller Is feasting on the clitoris of life, Fri 20 May 2011, 21:00, closed)

:D

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sat 21 May 2011, 22:00, closed)

My favourite is to comment, slightly-too-loudly,
"I didn't know ginger was a skin colour."
(Falstaff's Spiritual Successor, Fri 20 May 2011, 19:01, closed)

ooo, i'll have to try that one!

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 20 May 2011, 19:56, closed)

You know when you've been tangoed.

(Woodlouse say it with flowers. Send her a Triffid, Fri 20 May 2011, 19:52, closed)

overheard whilst leaving work one day
Very camp bleached blonde man-"OMG LAURA DO YOU THINK I HAVE USED TOO MUCH FAKE TAN"
Very skinny bleached blonde woman-"AW NO LOVE YOU LOOK PERFECT"

Both of them were glowing so orange that I thought they were impersonating the Ready-Brek man.

I don't get it. Tans are brown. It would make as much sense to paint your skin blue.
(orestes is shitting in the 1940s, Fri 20 May 2011, 20:10, closed)

Or
seeing as we've just had the warmest April on record, just going in your garden every weekend.
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Fri 20 May 2011, 22:38, closed)

ronseal orange
it's the mating colour of the terminally stupid
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sat 21 May 2011, 20:30, closed)

Or for the more terminal cases, the theme from the Black And White Minstrel Show.

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Fri 20 May 2011, 20:11, closed)

Reference for the teenagers there folks!

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Fri 20 May 2011, 20:50, closed)

mmmmmmmm
minstrels......
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sat 21 May 2011, 20:30, closed)

Hahaha
*click*
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Fri 20 May 2011, 22:36, closed)

you don't really though, do you?
This is another version of that painfully obvious fictional 'mongdaddy' story from a few months back.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 20 May 2011, 23:20, closed)

oh, this.

( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Sat 21 May 2011, 13:42, closed)

actually
yes i do.
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sat 21 May 2011, 20:29, closed)

Wish I'd thought of that yesterday.... saw one who was more than slightly reminiscent of an orange streetlight. She was almost glowing.
(Freakmandu, Sat 21 May 2011, 10:32, closed)

I have a compuksive ritual in the same circumstances
When passing by one or more sunbed girls I just have to utter (very quietly and hoarsely) "paaaannnntttoooonnnee oooohhhh-tttoooo-wwwwoooonnnn"

Because as those who are anointees at the alter of visual design may know, Pantone® 021 is twice as orange as the orangiest satsuma ever...

But still not as orange as the girls of Leeds, queueing outside Oceana on a Saturday night,,,
(apologies_for_length, Sat 21 May 2011, 15:45, closed)

there's one of these places just around the corner from me
there's always a few of them outside, outshiningthe streetlights
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sat 21 May 2011, 20:32, closed)

our local council has started to snuff out street lights at night to save money
maybe they could string a few of these up on the unlit poles as a homage to the orange street lights of past and save a few quid as well
( fluffybunnykiller Is feasting on the clitoris of life, Sat 21 May 2011, 20:42, closed)

god, no
they'd be yelling down thw street at each other about their stupid boyfriends and vapid little lives.
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sat 21 May 2011, 22:02, closed)