Driving
I used to have to drive a long way each week for work. As a result of this, I regularly encountered with the dregs of society - BMW and Audi drivers. For a good while, these people used to make me irate and I'd scream and curse and make obscene gestures at them when they cut me up, tailgated me or generaly drove like twats.

But what I discovered as much, much more fun and caused them to get very, very irate, was to wave and smile, give them the thumbs up or blow kisses at them when they did something stupid.

My favourite episode of road-trolling ivolved a Tuareg driver who was driving like an utter tool through manchester. he was cutting people up, queue-jumping, going straight on from the turning right lane... just generally being a gobshite. Now, I'd "held him up" for quite a while before he managed to do a dreadful overtaking maneuver, giving me the finger on the way past and he proceded on his dickish way.

Thing is, driving like this in an urban environment doesn't really get you where you are going any quicker, so a little while after he had gesticulated to me, I ended up sat next to him at a set of lights. So I got his attention by beeping my horn, gave him a massive, cheery wave and a double thumbs-up. He went fucking balistic: gritted teeth, hamming the steering wheel, the whole hulk-out jobby... then, in a fit of pique, picked up his coffe out of the cup-holder and threw it out the passenger-side window. Well, not "out", he failed to open the window first, so it just splashed back into the interior... he was not happy.
(ScousersPet, Tue 24 May 2011, 9:58, 17 replies)

Excellent
I have also done this sort of thing, gives them nowhere to go. clickage.
(SpangoTheWonderBadger is brewing beer, Tue 24 May 2011, 10:24, closed)

A cheery wave is just the job
Especially if someone's flashing you up to got faster. Pretend you think they know you.

Often laughing at people shows how silly they really are. Why raise you blood pressure when you can have a laugh instead?
(Kliper Filllets Getting noticed by twats on the internet since, Tue 24 May 2011, 10:37, closed)

For even better LOLS, if you are carrying young children, get them to wave for you.
Whilst holding up signs saying things like 'your lights are really pretty I bet your hooter sounds really good too'.
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Tue 24 May 2011, 13:33, closed)

what Kipper said
enrage by the gift of being chirpy and unbothered
( Rotating Wobbly Hat That's not a banana. THIS is a banana., Tue 24 May 2011, 13:17, closed)

I realised my drive home after a night shift
could be a lot more pleasant once I realised that I wasn't in a hurry but everyone else was. I now cheerfully wave people out of side turnings and let buses go first and watch the people behind me get more and more frustrated but unable to complain as technically I'm not doing anything wrong but just being polite.
(bill, Tue 24 May 2011, 16:43, closed)

Ditto...
...observing the speed limit. Attracts tailgaters like male eyes to Kylie's perfectly-formed arse...
(SonoraAeroClub "OH SWEET HELEN OF BALLS!", Tue 24 May 2011, 16:56, closed)

Sorry, what was that?
I was distracted by a remarkably callipygian Antipodean.
( flake has nothing against your right leg, Tue 24 May 2011, 18:25, closed)

it doesn't even lengthen a journey by much
I tend to be a "nice" driver in that respect, sometimes I even make better time than behaving like a cunt.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 25 May 2011, 13:37, closed)

What do you call trolling someone about their trolling story?
It's 'Touareg' and they're made by Volkswagen, not Audi or BMW.

Technically, yes, Audi and VW are all the one company, but that's not my point.

Pedantry is trolling, isn't it?
(minlan no longer barks at bancleys, Tue 24 May 2011, 18:52, closed)

Handy rule of thumb
If the car is expensive and German, the driver's a cunt.

Not a hypothesis born in isolation, but one born from bitter experience on Britain's roads.
( flake has nothing against your right leg, Tue 24 May 2011, 19:01, closed)

I hope that doesn't apply to everyone
My main car is a lovely bright red MINI Cooper S.

The original handbook actually has a section on waving to other MINI's. Sadly, few people still do.

I have a mantra of "Let out one car that's less cool than yours every day". That cheers up busy journeys!
(Kliper Filllets Getting noticed by twats on the internet since, Wed 25 May 2011, 7:39, closed)

A proper Mini or a rebadged BMW pretend-Mini?
( flake has nothing against your right leg, Wed 25 May 2011, 17:53, closed)

A pretend one (hence the reason for my question)
Although I have owned a score of the original ones.
(Kliper Filllets Getting noticed by twats on the internet since, Thu 26 May 2011, 10:31, closed)

it fair makes me snigger that VW's and Audi's are manufactured by...
V.A.G.
*sniggers*
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Tue 24 May 2011, 19:14, closed)

I didn't know that.
Now I snigger too.
( flake has nothing against your right leg, Tue 24 May 2011, 19:57, closed)

i reckon they would've been better off going for the alphabetical option.
but maybe A.V.G was deemed so lacking in comedy value.
After all, this is the company who came up with that mobile wi-fi/goatse image recently, so maybe it was deliberate?
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Tue 24 May 2011, 20:13, closed)

I used to work for VW...
...and most of the boxes of parts on Stores were stamped with VAG 1A. *pffftt!*
(SonoraAeroClub "OH SWEET HELEN OF BALLS!", Wed 25 May 2011, 12:15, closed)