shocking
i thought my eyes were deceiving me when i noticed he'd missed off dick..

i remember when i was given a detention for calling some guy a wanker in class. i had to write down as many slang terms for wanking as i could think of. best thing was the teacher read them all and he looked genuinly interested.
(monkeytennis?, Tue 2 Aug 2005, 17:08, Reply)

Mr Jums
Dick.
Cannot believe you forgot that one...
( liverbird, Tue 2 Aug 2005, 17:04, Reply)

sandwiches
when making sandwiches, to take to work for lunch, i always take a bite from one of the corners before i wrap them up.

why?....

tradition.
(monkeytennis?, Tue 2 Aug 2005, 16:46, Reply)

czech girls
when i met my g/f on a night out in manchester when we got out of the club she told me it was tradition on the 1st of may to kiss under blossom. i liked this tradition
(monkeytennis?, Tue 2 Aug 2005, 16:43, Reply)

About 2 years ago driving back from spain
we see a billboard for malboro lights and my dad turns round and says, 'hey, do you know what marboro cigarettes and philidelphia cream cheese have in common?' no we reply, but do tell us, 'well, they are both made by Phillip Morris, who also makes Toblerone and various other things...' He, for some reason thought this was an amazing fact, but we simply turned round and laughed at him for being slightly dillusioned if not nerdy. So, every time we see a packet/advert etc of malboro or philidelphia or toblerone etc, we yell phillip morris! as loud as we can, we all laugh at which point my father says, 'stop it its not funny' but we laugh all the more...

On the same trip, my sister pulled out a shower cap (in the car) put it on her head and exclaimed 'do you like my Gucci hat?' so whenever he go to a hotel we pick up shower caps and people are never ceased to be amazed at our collection of Gucci hats that lingers somewhere in our bathroom.

Don't ask me, i'm not related to any of them i tell you....

No length jokes, i'm serious...

*runs away*
(Arse Biscuits The question is not who, but why?, Tue 2 Aug 2005, 16:35, Reply)

Weird Traditions
if i bang one of my elbows i have to equal it out by banging the other one- preferably with the same amount of force
(Keyser Soze, Tue 2 Aug 2005, 16:31, Reply)

Hair Do
We cheer the hairdressers at the end of films. Someone has to.
(alchemic_angel, Tue 2 Aug 2005, 16:27, Reply)

OOO - bernard and the genie
niceandwarmandhot, I've just got this on DVD and its great!

"Bugger ye off" still makes me laugh, and I find I say it to people for days afterwards. Of course, they generally tell me that Im a twat for quoteing 1994 christmas specials and call me a loser.

But I dont care! Its a great film..

Also, the power of the voodoo? Whodoo? You do.

Great film. You, my friend, have a great taste in films.

Oh, tradion smadition. I usually celebrate christmas. But bugger all else.
(grr_boy, Tue 2 Aug 2005, 16:23, Reply)

Our bestest cinema tradition
We had a cinema tradition when I was at 6th form.

We would get to the cinema for the late (eg midnight) showing of the film. We woudl go in and at the top of the stairs is a huge fibreglass rooster (Foghorn Leghorn I think). My then-boyfriend would run up to him and hug him as if he was a long lost friend.

We would then buy loads of food and stuff. I would always have an ice cream Bounty.

When we got into the cinema, we would always sit in row J (for that was the row with the bar you could rest your feet on). We would then throw popcorn at each other throughout the adverts, mock the adverts and each other, and play the Burp game which generally involved lots of spammage.

When the film was over, someone would be (silently) nominated to have the remainder of the popcorn tipped over their head.

Then when we got outside Barney would throw the end of his drink onto the roof of the cinema, and would then drive us all home in his Citroen AX GTI.

Good times.

And Skotsman, you are BRILLIANT, Robert Rankin is a legend. I still laugh whenever I say it's a tradition or an old charter or something, and nobody ever knows what I'm talking about.
(Clarabelle is reverting to type on, Tue 2 Aug 2005, 16:05, Reply)

Bad Badger
Oh my God, this is the worst tradition I've ever heard about...
( liverbird, Tue 2 Aug 2005, 15:51, Reply)

Farting Tradition
It's been a long tradition in my family to say "Doorknob" after farting. If someone says "Doorknob" before you, they are liberty to hit you before you can find a "Doorknob" to touch. I have no idea where this started,
(notquitewithit, Tue 2 Aug 2005, 15:49, Reply)

Christmas...
Every monday before Christmas, me and my friends meet up at the same pub in town, work our way through the strongest ales known to man, and then go shopping. The joy of waking up the following day with bags of crap is wonderful!
Also theres the three bridge rule, before you can have a sweet if you're travelling in a car, the car has to pass under three bridges, then you can have a sweet. You have to wait for it to pass under another three bridges before you can ASK for another sweet, and then drive under three bridges before you get another sweet! Drives any passenger in the car whose with me barmy! But my brother understands it!!!
(Lord Monkey of Yorkshire,OBE killed a gipsy on...., Tue 2 Aug 2005, 15:33, Reply)

Pavements
If when walking along the pavement you spot the covers which say BT on or if even older GPO, you have to do one of two things, if there are only two of them in a row then you can walk over them, if however there are three in a row, you have to walk around them, because if there's any more then two grates in a row it's not safe to walk over them. I do this all the time. Also one of my old bosses used to say every single fucking time that he'd eaten his lunch,'If that was my lunch then I've had it' He was from Hull, which explains a lot.
(Lord Monkey of Yorkshire,OBE killed a gipsy on...., Tue 2 Aug 2005, 15:19, Reply)

Talking of Christmas traditions
My very good friend (I'll call her Jo, for that is her name) and I decided one year many moons ago that we would book a whole day off during the week and go Christmas shopping on Oxford Street "to avoid the crowds" (didn't work). Anyway, after we had been in 1 or 2 shops and bought mainly stuff for ourselves, we decided to stop for an early lunch in that bar in Selfridges (was only about midday by then) and because it was Christmas, we thought we'd treat ourselves to a glass of wine with our lunch. Seeing as we knew we'd have a couple of glasses each, we thought it wise to get a bottle. After we'd had that, we thought it would be fun to get another bottle. And another. You can see where this is going can't you. No more shopping was done that day and we were drunk as lords by 8pm.

Every year since then we have booked a day off "to go Christmas shopping and avoid the crowds" and have just headed straight for Selfridges bar. It's great!!!
(Mad McMad, Tue 2 Aug 2005, 15:17, Reply)

Every christmas time
My dad gets absolutely drunk. For the past three years i have come home myself drunk and going into the living room to find my dad only in his y-fronts, lying on the floor singing along to rod stewart. My dad is 6'6" and a big bloke, tis not a pleasant sight. Last year i had a drunken conversation with him that went:
Him - He's great isn't he?
Me - Who?
Him - Rod Stewart.
Me - Not really.
Him - He is! Hes great. Look at him. He can sing, he can dance, the women love him.
Me - Well not really dad.
Him - Fuck Off. You wanna be him. You fucking wanna be Rod Stewart.
Me - 'night dad.
( DumbMonkey The penis mightier than the sword, Tue 2 Aug 2005, 15:03, Reply)

Dad venting splenetically
When my dad sees people on tv he doesn't like he's traditionally calls them "c*nts". Is that a tradition? He likes it if I do the same.
(nugattack77, Tue 2 Aug 2005, 14:58, Reply)

Before I put coins in a vending machine
I stick them in dog shit, to give extra "weight."
(roysin, Tue 2 Aug 2005, 14:15, Reply)

It's a tradition, honest
While growing up in the Northeast of England we had a family in the street who were reputed to have 'lops'. In order not to catch these 'lops' it was traditional to hold your breath as you walked past the house. Just to reinforce this sad tradition we renamed the children of the family to empasise just how 'loppy' they were:

James - Germ
Coreen - Crawleen
Louise - Louse
Patricia - Morticia
Denise - Disease.

The tradition worked. To this day I have never caught lops.

It's a mystery.
A true...
(Conundrum, Tue 2 Aug 2005, 13:58, Reply)

Virgins
Every Beltane I have the people in my village tie a virgin to the old oak tree so that I can ravage her at my leisure. Apparently they think it makes their crops grow, buggered if I know why!
(CerberusDog woof, Tue 2 Aug 2005, 13:55, Reply)

When we were kids...
and used to say 'Im staaaaarving' my Dad always retorted with 'Starving, Starving, you dont know the meaning of the word' and for some reason.....its stuck.

The fact that its always said ever since...does that make it a tradition.

Cant be arsed with apologies for any of this. Am not in the mood.
(Oops....did I say that out loud cos I really bloody want to., Tue 2 Aug 2005, 13:38, Reply)

Criminals
When criminals (such as people who try to blow up London's public transport), went to other countries (Italy, say), we used to go through a legal process to get them back to Britain where they could be questioned by police and subsequently tried.

We don't do that any more though, so I suppose you could say it's an ex-tradition.

/coat
(Pachey, Tue 2 Aug 2005, 13:27, Reply)

if someone tailgates me on the motorway
i tend to shift the car into 3rd (or 2nd if i'm feeling nasty), then drop the clutch and tug gently on the handbrake at the same time. que sudden decelleration without brakelights. guy behind normaly sh*ts himself and backs off then. either that or runs into the back of me.. in which case its his fault (helps having a £50 car i spose..)

not really a tradition.. the only one of them i can think of is if i feel the need to blow my nose, i traditionally vault a finger up there and do the job silently. tastey...
(5lab, Tue 2 Aug 2005, 13:23, Reply)

Will this count?
When I get dressed without fail I always put my socks on before I put my boxers on.
Don't know why I just do. Anyone eles with that problem?

Lenth, girth nope its small and frail and drops off at the end.
(Bad Badger, Tue 2 Aug 2005, 13:17, Reply)

James Doc - Rejected coins
There's nothing weird about licking coins that have been rejected by a vending machine. If the coin has become a bit worn or 'light' then the spittle beefs it back up and the machine generally accepts it. Coin licking is now my preffered method of getting rejected coins accepted. Trying to spin the coin into the slot was my previous method but had a bad success rate.
It may help not to think where the coin has been prior to licking.
This post has nothing to do with weird traditions unless you want to consider 'posting boring vending machine coin rejection problems and their solutions' on B3TA as a tradition. Mind you this is the first coin post so I'll need a couple more to make it a tradition...
( sneep used to date Freddie Starr's hamster, Tue 2 Aug 2005, 13:08, Reply)

bernard/labyrinth
since, ooh, 1996 (?), it has become a Christmas tradition for my college mates and meself to go over to one of them's house, armed with crisps, snacks and pop, to watch two things:
1. Bernard and the Genie - some of you will remember this fantastic piece of Chrimbo tv, with Alan Cummings and Lenny Henry. The tape is near buggered, but we all know the words anyway so who cares
2. Labyrinth - mostly to laugh at "go back, Sarah, before it's too late", "Nothing? Nothing tra-la-la?!" and the infamous crotch shot

That is all.
(niceandwarmandhot vive la résistance, Tue 2 Aug 2005, 13:02, Reply)

Lapping at roundabouts.
When my friend had his VW Camper we used to do laps of roundabouts on the way home from pubs/nightclubs. Our favourites were 26 laps round the M6 Charnock Richard junction roundabout (especially amusing because there were construction workers pulling a late shift on the bridge) and 10 laps round one of those little minature ones that's just painted in the road somewhere in Leigh.

Oh and sort of in response to timberwolf0122 (except I don't have a back off sticker)... If anyone tailgates me I slow down to just under the legal speed limit.
( beefandcheese, Tue 2 Aug 2005, 13:01, Reply)

Gun Run
My Dad was in the Army and every year they had a Gun Run, that is to say teams of Artillery Gunners would pull a field gun over a 12 mile road race.

Traditionally this was an all male endeavour but when I was about 10 they broke with tradition and a woman took part for the first time.

She was on the winning team and as they crossed the finishing line she stopped to take a breather and was promptly run over by the gun.

She was OK.
(RobNob, Tue 2 Aug 2005, 12:29, Reply)

I blame Robert Rankin
Whenever ANYTHING gets done more than once, someone (usually me) in my immediate circle of friends will say "It's a tradition, or an old charter, or something"... one of MANY long-running running-gag from the books of Brentford's finest.

I get hit a lot for it too... it's a tradition, or an old charter, or something.
( Skotzmun Blah blah secret passage blah blah diamonds., Tue 2 Aug 2005, 11:43, Reply)

when i see a car coming towards me in the distance
i will identify something in the near distance to me, like a lamp post for example, and will have to make it past that "landmark" before the vehicle passes me. otherwise bad luck will ensue, or I will think that a task I have set will fail if I don't make it in time. I have been having to do this for about 24 years now, since I was about 6.
(Jazz Bloke Music has charms to soothe the savage breast, Tue 2 Aug 2005, 11:40, Reply)