i want
to meet a gorgeous bloke in a pub/club and not be dancing like a twat when he sees me
for my mother to just ONCE admit that she's wrong
to finally finish my book
to have a newly-discovered species named after me
to find a pair of shoes that fit me, that don't look like they were designed for thora hird
to have sex on a trampoline
to swim in jelly
to see soap operas outlawed
to win enough money to set me up for life
to see my nephew grow up and not join the army
to have at least one day that is utterly perfect, from the moment i wake up till the moment i fall asleep
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 14 Oct 2010, 18:12, 34 replies)

Yeah,
I'm a slow reader too.
( Pretender, Thu 14 Oct 2010, 18:19, closed)

pfff

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 14 Oct 2010, 18:38, closed)

I read "Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets" in four hours yesterday
I know it's only seven words, but I was dead proud.
(MrOli is ugly, but in the morning you will be sober, Thu 14 Oct 2010, 19:32, closed)

heheheheh

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 14 Oct 2010, 19:33, closed)

What is it with women and shoes?
Otherwise intelligent women seem to crave foot-breakingly silly shoes because they "look good".
Personally I want "smart" footwear banned as a requirement in employment contracts because it is pointless and stupid.
Wear what is most comfortable -- unless you are some kind of foot fetishist then feet are for walking and ought to be suitably atired.
(Me, I'm not... in any way intoxicated, Thu 14 Oct 2010, 18:30, closed)

It's genetic. We can't help it.

( Herb Alpert's Taxi Driver I have very beautiful lips, Thu 14 Oct 2010, 18:35, closed)

that's what i mean
i want decent shoes that fit and are comfy, yet fashionable
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 14 Oct 2010, 18:38, closed)

I'm not a woman
but high-top Converse seem to do that job pretty admirably for me. Cheap too.
( Dave McF wrote some words on, Thu 14 Oct 2010, 18:44, closed)

i agree
but they'd look terrible with a dress
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 14 Oct 2010, 18:49, closed)

Don't blame the dress.

(waxdart hello., Thu 14 Oct 2010, 19:04, closed)

:(

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 14 Oct 2010, 19:06, closed)

Depends how long the dress is
If it's long enough for nobody to see the inappropriate shoes... no harm, no foul, etc.

I'm just glad they go well with suits, as per David Tennant-era Doctor Who. My brother just asked me this morning to be best man at his impending wedding. I'm totally doing that.
( Dave McF wrote some words on, Thu 14 Oct 2010, 22:54, closed)

you're lucky, i have to be a bridesmaid next year
my sickly-sweet pink senses are tingling
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 18:19, closed)

Now then
Don't you go ruining this QOTW by actually coming up with a sensible and apparently well considered answer that takes into account philosophy, ambition, emotion and reality...it's just not cricket and makes the rest of us look like vapid amateurs !
( number5 has been fighting tramps and losing., Thu 14 Oct 2010, 18:49, closed)

i did say i wanted to swim in jelly
isn't that silly enough?
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 14 Oct 2010, 18:54, closed)

Sounds
eminently reasonable (flavour dependent)
( number5 has been fighting tramps and losing., Thu 14 Oct 2010, 18:56, closed)

lime flavour
i'm allergic to strawberry and the orange is quite bitter.
the purple one is also acceptable.
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 14 Oct 2010, 19:01, closed)

yes!!
I thought about this and also came up with Lime being the one to use
(insomniac-surfer oh go on then, just this once, Thu 14 Oct 2010, 19:11, closed)

it'd feel so nice and gloopy
i imagine having sex in jelly would be rather pleasant, too
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 14 Oct 2010, 19:28, closed)

Sex in anything is a terrible idea.
Whatever you're in, will soon get into places you'd rather it didn't.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 14 Oct 2010, 19:36, closed)

you're probably right
but it does sound nice!
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 14 Oct 2010, 19:40, closed)

my list....
also has numbers 2,3,6,8,9 and 11...

My number 1 is to wake up and to have lost half my doby weight and for all my hair to have grown back!

aint gonna happen :(
(Lip Up Fatty Fatty Reggae still loves BBQ food on, Thu 14 Oct 2010, 19:36, closed)

not if you don't make it happen

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 14 Oct 2010, 19:41, closed)

but its hard....
and there are pizzas and pear cider out there that taunt me with every waking breath!
(Lip Up Fatty Fatty Reggae still loves BBQ food on, Thu 14 Oct 2010, 19:44, closed)

ah, pear cider!
the last pizza i had was an asda cheese steak pizza, 2 years ago.
i don't even miss pizza any more.
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 14 Oct 2010, 19:50, closed)

I'd like to have Jelly on a trampoline...
( dazbrilliantwhites has been meaning to change this..., Thu 14 Oct 2010, 20:08, closed)

nah
you'd be sick
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 14 Oct 2010, 20:09, closed)

Impossible
everyone knows two positives can't make a negative. Basic mathamatics.
( dazbrilliantwhites has been meaning to change this..., Thu 14 Oct 2010, 20:21, closed)

two positives can't make a negative?
yeah, right ;)
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 14 Oct 2010, 20:24, closed)

I think you just proved my point,

Yeah + Right = ;)
( dazbrilliantwhites has been meaning to change this..., Thu 14 Oct 2010, 20:34, closed)

Sex on a trampoline is far less fun than you'd think
Believe me
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 10:47, closed)

what about in a hammock?

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 15:58, closed)

list
Seriously with you on the soap operas
(andythepieman Is surfing the waves of indifference on, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 12:13, closed)

they do need to be stopped

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 15:58, closed)