Getting privacy wrong
Slightly off-topic, but what the hell. I'm guessing a large number of us have seen the news about the Pervo-Scans^TM being used in airports these days. These things annoy me quite a lot, which is quite silly considering I fly about as regularly as Father Jack is sober.

But I've hit on an idea- for us men, at least, as a small (fnarr) means of protest. By ensuring you have a diamond-tipped massive lob-on when you're in the scanning machine.

**Edited for waxdart who was querying terminology used for states of arousal in men**
( jim_bob can herd cats., Wed 21 Jul 2010, 11:58, 33 replies)

So they look up your bell end and ask questions as to why you have
diamonds suck up your japs?

you first.



edit: Never heard the term in me life.
(waxdart hello., Wed 21 Jul 2010, 12:02, closed)

You know, I've heard a lot of people get irrationally annoyed about this
And I'm really struggling to see a single reason why. You are, after all, talking about people who have the absolute legal right to take you to a room, strip you naked and shove a hand up your arse before you fly. What the fuck, then, is the relative problem with a body scanner?
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 21 Jul 2010, 12:08, closed)

Its people like you that...

I say...
Always fight to not give the state thugs more rights.

The other things about the images generated not being able to be copied and or saved when they could.

No trust in the moron doing the scanning right up to the top level.

I'd rather be stripped and bummed than scanned. Its the start of my holiday after all.
(waxdart hello., Wed 21 Jul 2010, 12:15, closed)

"I'd rather be stripped and bummed than scanned. Its the start of my holiday after all."

This gave me an officelol. What a fantastic theory, and I, for one, will be implementing it!
( the pink chicken sniffer sniffs pink chickens., Wed 21 Jul 2010, 12:42, closed)

It's people like you that...
perpetuate some insane tinfoil hattedness about the "state" constantly being out to get you, though.

right. yeah. copied and saved. Unlike search room video cameras. Obviously.

Still, I agree, you can't start a holiday better than a good hard bumming.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 21 Jul 2010, 12:44, closed)

"It's because of people like you that they build airports..."
(Treacle Cock, Wed 21 Jul 2010, 18:39, closed)

it's not about them being 'out to get you'
it's about them not being able to manage what data they do collect on us. it's about those that hold the data allowing it to fall into the hands of those who will us it against us. It's about the simple right that a stranger can't look at my knob without buying me a drink first.
About the only thing isreal has ever got right is airport security, and they don't treat anyone like a cat A criminal
( mictoboy shitting in your cunt since, Wed 21 Jul 2010, 22:01, closed)

They might see your bits
which I am an Englishman* and a proud prude and thus simply WILL NOT TOLERATE!





*_{I'm actually Scottish, but "I am an Englishman and..." sounds much better for the purposes of high dudgeon}
(Falstaff's Spiritual Successor, Wed 21 Jul 2010, 12:15, closed)

this.
it's no worse than turning up at edinburgh airport, getting moved onto an earlier flight, spending so long behind all the retards at security who are so startled that they DO need to take their shoes and belts off that they don't even start the process until they get to the (old-style) scanner that you then have to run to the departure gate with no time to put your belt back on and by the time you get there most of the people in departures have seen your pants.

probably.
( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Wed 21 Jul 2010, 12:17, closed)

I go through edinburgh a lot
odd really since I live there - and I actually quite like it. I didn't get to see your pants though, which is a disappointment.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 21 Jul 2010, 12:41, closed)

i'm sorry about that.
i was up there and back in a day. well, rosyth, technically. i did spend an afternoon in edinburgh on a previous trip though and found it to be Rather Nice.
( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Wed 21 Jul 2010, 12:43, closed)

Oh, you don't want to go to Rosyth.
Fife, you see. There be dragons.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 21 Jul 2010, 12:46, closed)

it was work, innit?

( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Wed 21 Jul 2010, 13:43, closed)

If by dragons you mean potatoes and Buckfast - then yes.
(Benzyl, Wed 21 Jul 2010, 20:34, closed)

Edinburgh airport security area
has improved a lot in the last couple of months. There are a lot more scanners, and it's pretty quick to get through. Unlike Heathrow, which is just a scunner.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Wed 21 Jul 2010, 13:13, closed)

yeah, I noticed that last couple of times
although, it's still taking longer at the moment, what with the 37 million ned families escaping to majorca, innit, at this time of year. Roll on September.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 21 Jul 2010, 16:08, closed)

"diamond-cutter" I've heard, "diamond-tipped" I've not
and they sell those scanners on Tottenham Court Road now, I'm tempted to get one for the flat.
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Wed 21 Jul 2010, 12:10, closed)

Shirley easier (and cheaper)
just to get a girlfriend if you want to look at a real-life naked laydee ;)
( Tab Hunter Make this useless process end and so, begin again, Wed 21 Jul 2010, 12:43, closed)

"...easier and cheaper just to get a girlfriend..."
But getting a girlfriend is (probably) the second most expensive thing you'll ever do! ;-)
(MrOli is ugly, but in the morning you will be sober, Wed 21 Jul 2010, 12:48, closed)

I give up.
What's the first most expensive thing?
(assuming "Getting the patio relaid over the slowly-decaying corpses of all the prozzies" isn't the first)
( Tab Hunter Make this useless process end and so, begin again, Wed 21 Jul 2010, 14:55, closed)

Having a baby....
You want to see your money flow through your life like a rushing, thundering, storm run off river? Have a bloody baby.......
( user_names_suck, Wed 21 Jul 2010, 19:10, closed)

I have one of those
It's just that our flat has a video-entry system so I can see who's at the door before I let them in remotely from the kitchen. Most visitors are subjected to "Look into the lens, let me see your retinas!" before they're allowed access, and I'd quite like to be able to tell what they're carrying too.

and look at them naked
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Wed 21 Jul 2010, 14:19, closed)

I like this ides:
*intercom buzzes*
"I see you've no booze."
"COME BACK WITH BOOZE!"
( Tab Hunter Make this useless process end and so, begin again, Wed 21 Jul 2010, 14:56, closed)

They can scan me all they fucking like
I'll even do some sexy poses for them if they ask nicely.
(TheManWithThePlan cussed your mum on, Wed 21 Jul 2010, 12:56, closed)

Damn bumblesquats

(TheManWithThePlan cussed your mum on, Wed 21 Jul 2010, 13:32, closed)

They can stare all they like
If they're getting one off on mine, fine, they can please themselves - but they're definitely Doing It Wrong from a personal taste point of view!

I'm sure the people at the other end (fnarr) have seen a penis before.
(Cloudane, Wed 21 Jul 2010, 15:20, closed)

Yes, in the mirror

( shinyshinyscalp less a man, more a way of life, Wed 21 Jul 2010, 16:07, closed)

Why not
Just strip naked before walking through, thus rendering them redundant.
(Kyzia was here on, Wed 21 Jul 2010, 16:00, closed)

i got myself a piercing for that reason
and i generally have a lazy semi if i am going on holiday.

But now, i shall eat viagra and change my bar ends to cubic zirconia so i can watch them work out if they are REAL diamonds whilst ignoring my tumescent purple cock.

I am still laughing everyday, and i haven't been through yet.
( bazza van der trance , ooh baby baby, baby baby. Get up on this., Wed 21 Jul 2010, 16:16, closed)

christ. ampallang?

( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Wed 21 Jul 2010, 16:55, closed)

nah
surface piercing just above the beast itself - Pubic surface bar. not sure if there is another name.

ampallang is a bit scary!!
( bazza van der trance , ooh baby baby, baby baby. Get up on this., Wed 21 Jul 2010, 17:14, closed)

I wanted to do this.
Sadly old-age* and alcohol meant I wasn't able to rise to the challenge.
For anyone who thinks these scans are OK -- I hope you realise that you paid for them (assuming you have been through one) and their only purpose if to make money for the sellers and guarantee some politicians and civil servants consultancy roles?
For shock value I ought to mention the "peado with a camera phone" potential also.
I fly regularly and there is nothing that these new scanners can pick up that wouldn't be picked up using the standard metal detector + pat-down setup -- which is a fuck of a lot cheaper.
Regarding a comment about taking off shoes: I've been through airside security at least 12 times this year and only once had to remove my GSG9.2s.
*Well, middle age at least.
(Me, I'm not... in any way intoxicated, Wed 21 Jul 2010, 18:12, closed)

"there is nothing that these new scanners can pick up that wouldn't be picked up using the standard metal detector + pat-down setup"
What about liquid explosives of the type that someone used leading to authority's confiscating tubs of lube over 100ml from aircraft?

I'm not in the least worried about the scanners, I'm an order of magnitude more concerned about digital privacy laws.
( Gooddeed89, Wed 21 Jul 2010, 23:56, closed)