A girl I am trying it on with
just asked me not to uses sweary words in chats with her on MSN. She asked me to use "s**t" instead of shit and so on. She said I shouldn't use that kind of language around girls. I agreed, but isn't that "don't swear in front of girlies" opinion a bit dated? Or am I really a terribly rude cunt? IS THIS WHY I GET LESS SEX?
( Noit happy baby orangutan, Thu 5 Oct 2006, 22:07, archived)

She is twelve
and her parents don't like swears.
( Gizmo.mp3 does not exist, Thu 5 Oct 2006, 22:08, archived)

She'll have a hard time of it when you FUCK HER IN THE ARSE

( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 5 Oct 2006, 22:08, archived)

they prefer it if you say
"firmly massage their bowels"
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 5 Oct 2006, 22:12, archived)

tell her to fuck off

( Hankster, Thu 5 Oct 2006, 22:08, archived)

This.
I find swearing with asterisks infinitely more offensive anyway.
( Reid got it going on like Donkey Kong, Thu 5 Oct 2006, 22:10, archived)

It looks as though you want to swear
but don't have the confidence.
( magnum, Thu 5 Oct 2006, 22:11, archived)

If she doesn't feel comfortable with you using a bit of Anglo-Saxon
imagine how horrified she'd be if you tried to force one or more of your bodyparts into her vagina.
( Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Thu 5 Oct 2006, 22:08, archived)

Oh, and "I agreed"?
YOU'RE PUSSYWHIPPED ALREADY AND YOU HAVEN'T EVEN SEEN HER TITS YET!

Snap out of it.
( Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Thu 5 Oct 2006, 22:10, archived)

I say there needs to be some slapping about, and possibly some tying up and abusing.

( Gizmo.mp3 does not exist, Thu 5 Oct 2006, 22:11, archived)

For all concerned.

( Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Thu 5 Oct 2006, 22:13, archived)

Indeed so.

( Gizmo.mp3 does not exist, Thu 5 Oct 2006, 22:14, archived)

I didn't agree in principle, and told her
but as I do still plan on taking her roughly from behind, I am willing to succumb to her wishes for now.
( Noit happy baby orangutan, Thu 5 Oct 2006, 22:11, archived)

She really sounds like a roughly-from-behind type

( Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Thu 5 Oct 2006, 22:14, archived)

The sheet-with-a-hole-cut-in-it type maybe

( Fenris temporary Lazarus, Thu 5 Oct 2006, 22:18, archived)

The
day you walk down that path the once, forever in her power will you be...

*yoda sounding advice*
( Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Thu 5 Oct 2006, 22:15, archived)

DO WHAT?!?
Gross, icky and horrid.
( Dekazer, Thu 5 Oct 2006, 22:10, archived)

I can arrange a demonstration
if you like.

*limbers up*
( Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Thu 5 Oct 2006, 22:12, archived)

I, for one, like it when boyfriends swear around me.
It makes me feel more like a mate and less like an 11p hooker.
( KersaI Missive Free Michael Shields! with Monday's Liverpool Echo, Thu 5 Oct 2006, 22:20, archived)

Well, at least you can be certain she's not a skanky foul mouthed chavette
riddled with every STD under the bedsheets
( Bobson I who milks the milkmen?, Thu 5 Oct 2006, 22:08, archived)

Because only chavs swear.

( Nile, Thu 5 Oct 2006, 22:09, archived)

and me.
Like a dirty sailor.
( magnum, Thu 5 Oct 2006, 22:10, archived)

I know that
'twas just saying at least she's not some sort of foul mouthed person, and from what it appears she has good morals, maybe a little too strict, who knows
( Bobson I who milks the milkmen?, Thu 5 Oct 2006, 22:10, archived)

The only reason to go anywhere near catholic-clean-living-schoolgirls
is to corrupt them.
( Gizmo.mp3 does not exist, Thu 5 Oct 2006, 22:12, archived)

And the skirts...
*sweats*
( chenobble rocking his explorer beard on, Thu 5 Oct 2006, 22:13, archived)

I've yet to meet a Catholic schoolgirl
who swore less than a navvy with an abscess and couldn't outcorrupt a Benny at ten paces.
( Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Thu 5 Oct 2006, 22:18, archived)

sounds like she's an uptight little madam
if you ask me.
( Nile, Thu 5 Oct 2006, 22:12, archived)

This
but there's also the chance she's never had any sexual contact before so all of her pent up horniness could all burst out and turn her into a kinky little minx
( Bobson I who milks the milkmen?, Thu 5 Oct 2006, 22:13, archived)

Note to Bobson:
70s sex comedies do not represent real-life situations.
( Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Thu 5 Oct 2006, 22:15, archived)

... unless you're VERY lucky.

( Gizmo.mp3 does not exist, Thu 5 Oct 2006, 22:17, archived)

yeah
or she's an uptight little madam who'll develop lips like a cat's arse from pursing them so tight.
( Nile, Thu 5 Oct 2006, 22:16, archived)

Haha

( Bobson I who milks the milkmen?, Thu 5 Oct 2006, 22:17, archived)

Either way, I do believe I win.

( Noit happy baby orangutan, Thu 5 Oct 2006, 22:19, archived)

Stop it now
I'm at work, spaffing is frowned upon in a professional environment
( chenobble rocking his explorer beard on, Thu 5 Oct 2006, 22:16, archived)

Fuck. Cunting shit buggery This.

( Gizmo.mp3 does not exist, Thu 5 Oct 2006, 22:10, archived)

Innit man.

( Noit happy baby orangutan, Thu 5 Oct 2006, 22:10, archived)

I think you should tell her to grow some fuckin' balls.

( Rev. Cleo still alive, Thu 5 Oct 2006, 22:08, archived)

Tell her she's a fucking sexist cunt.
And that you have your own fucking views.
( iEC: Redux Hands up., Thu 5 Oct 2006, 22:09, archived)

every so often I try to stop swearing
it normally lasts about half an hour.
( Nile, Thu 5 Oct 2006, 22:09, archived)

I'm sure you would be more successful
if this crazy, mixed-up world weren't so heavily populated by utter fucking cunts.
( Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Thu 5 Oct 2006, 22:12, archived)

It might be my problem
The other day I answered the phone at work, dropped it and thought I'd cut them off "oh shit" said I. "Hello *company name*" I continued.

"Hi" she said
"Oh, I thought I'd cut you off"
"No, but I heard your word" She said it in italics as well. Which is quite impressive.
( magnum, Thu 5 Oct 2006, 22:09, archived)

Anyone
woman who cannot stand swearing does not deserve a fucking second look....wank instead.
( Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Thu 5 Oct 2006, 22:11, archived)

I must admit
I don't blaspheme in front of religios. Why say something you know will offend someone.

I also don't use the word cunt in front of my grandparents.
( Dekazer, Thu 5 Oct 2006, 22:12, archived)

Even when your grandpa points at your knickers and says
"what do you keep in there, EH?"
( Noit happy baby orangutan, Thu 5 Oct 2006, 22:14, archived)

My flatmate is 'Born Again'
I can't count the number of times I've said 'Jesus Christ' or 'God' and then wondered if he's taken offense
( chenobble rocking his explorer beard on, Thu 5 Oct 2006, 22:15, archived)

I used to say "Fuck the Pope" a lot more
when I worked with a Northern Irish Catholic.
( Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Thu 5 Oct 2006, 22:20, archived)

My current boyfriend started saying that a lot
When he found out half my family is Polish Catholic.

We're still together.
( KersaI Missive Free Michael Shields! with Monday's Liverpool Echo, Thu 5 Oct 2006, 22:22, archived)

My mate is an Irish Catholic
I keep making Black and Tan jokes...

Then I found out my Great Grandad was a Black and Tan...
( chenobble rocking his explorer beard on, Thu 5 Oct 2006, 22:23, archived)

Tell her you want to s**t in her c**t
and see if it's really any less offensive.
( nick the greek, Thu 5 Oct 2006, 22:12, archived)

spot in her chat?

( KersaI Missive Free Michael Shields! with Monday's Liverpool Echo, Thu 5 Oct 2006, 22:13, archived)

Do you know her in real life, or just over MSN?
If the latter, she is a (highly religious) 45-year-old trucker named Davette.
( KersaI Missive Free Michael Shields! with Monday's Liverpool Echo, Thu 5 Oct 2006, 22:13, archived)