i shall probably be watching my wife give birth to our child
and making encouraging noises
( monstrinho do biscoito teeeshurts = www.nogunarmy.com, Fri 6 Jul 2007, 13:28, archived)

Wow. The miracle of life, eh?
Ok - you are also excused.
(MsRosalita, Fri 6 Jul 2007, 13:29, archived)

"Hurrah", "Excellent", "Wahey" are all inspired choices.
Your good lady would be most heartened by any of them.
( trev Is not interested in your fripperies, Fri 6 Jul 2007, 13:29, archived)

"are you done yet?"
is one i might try from outside arms length
( monstrinho do biscoito teeeshurts = www.nogunarmy.com, Fri 6 Jul 2007, 13:30, archived)

Pfft.
I dare you.
( ImNotRightBotheredMe fool, Fri 6 Jul 2007, 13:31, archived)

I suggest
'Look at the size of your fanny now!'
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Fri 6 Jul 2007, 13:31, archived)

Or "Fucking hell it's ginger!" as it's crowning

( ArthurTheRat, Fri 6 Jul 2007, 13:32, archived)

ARF!

( jenpots, Fri 6 Jul 2007, 13:33, archived)

ginger black

/insert different race as appropriate
( Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Fri 6 Jul 2007, 13:33, archived)

a braAhhn bay-by
/waynetta whats'ername
( monstrinho do biscoito teeeshurts = www.nogunarmy.com, Fri 6 Jul 2007, 13:36, archived)

Turn your head sideways and say she looks like cherie blair

(Snailfighter Mk VIII MASTER of the bits underneath the ledges on fences, Fri 6 Jul 2007, 13:33, archived)

"Right love, I'm of down the pub. See you in a bit."

( mcdoof fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, Fri 6 Jul 2007, 13:33, archived)

This is what my dad did with the three of us.

( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 6 Jul 2007, 13:35, archived)

My Dad said
"My mum's cooked me a roast dinner. I'll be back in a couple hours".
( Psycho Eyes, Fri 6 Jul 2007, 13:37, archived)

Pffft
I bet he was popular.
( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 6 Jul 2007, 13:38, archived)

He'd already made himself pretty unpopular
By trying to take the gas and air off her.
( Psycho Eyes, Fri 6 Jul 2007, 13:41, archived)

*raises eyebrows*
Also enjoy when she tells the doctor or midwife to fuck off :oP
( jenpots, Fri 6 Jul 2007, 13:30, archived)

*books you to be near Luton in February*

( Fluzzy namby-pamby pudding and pie, Fri 6 Jul 2007, 13:33, archived)

With how quick you drop 'em (So to speak) I couldn't get there in time!
:D
( trev Is not interested in your fripperies, Fri 6 Jul 2007, 13:34, archived)

I'll phone you for the encouraging noises then
:D
( Fluzzy namby-pamby pudding and pie, Fri 6 Jul 2007, 13:35, archived)

You should bring a laptop and post on b3ta.
We'll all encourage you.
( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 6 Jul 2007, 13:36, archived)

That is how it happens every time I dream of the birth actually
It'll be a home birth so it's probable I'll have my laptop on with /talk open.
( Fluzzy namby-pamby pudding and pie, Fri 6 Jul 2007, 13:37, archived)

Haha excellent.
It cant go wrong.
( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 6 Jul 2007, 13:37, archived)

Good god.

( Newington, Fri 6 Jul 2007, 13:38, archived)

Another first for /talk to look forward to

( trev Is not interested in your fripperies, Fri 6 Jul 2007, 13:39, archived)

Shall I put it on the calender for the 7th Feb?

( Fluzzy namby-pamby pudding and pie, Fri 6 Jul 2007, 13:40, archived)

Pffft
There are worse bashes booked in
( trev Is not interested in your fripperies, Fri 6 Jul 2007, 13:42, archived)

you shall be wandering
down to A and E to get and xray on your hand, after the baby appears.
( jenpots, Fri 6 Jul 2007, 13:29, archived)

Yes
I've advised one of our new first baby fathers to get a pair of protective gloves out of stores for the occasion.
( The Cat's Mother Not a People Person., Fri 6 Jul 2007, 13:36, archived)

yes
I did notice trev massaging his hand after ninja baby was born.
( jenpots, Fri 6 Jul 2007, 13:37, archived)

Pfft
Mr Fluzzy was building a website on his laptop as our first arrived.
( Fluzzy namby-pamby pudding and pie, Fri 6 Jul 2007, 13:38, archived)

Best advice is to use an arm-wrestling grip rather than a handshake grip
you don't break your fingers, and if you get bored you can always have a quick armwrestle.
( Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Fri 6 Jul 2007, 13:42, archived)

"go on my son, 'av it"

( GrandmaOfShoes, Fri 6 Jul 2007, 13:29, archived)

*klaxon*

(Snailfighter Mk VIII MASTER of the bits underneath the ledges on fences, Fri 6 Jul 2007, 13:37, archived)

A farting noise with your hand and armpit, is considered encouraging.

( BindiBaji, Fri 6 Jul 2007, 13:31, archived)

we want a water birth so some sort of bubble making device is needed instead
to imply farts
( monstrinho do biscoito teeeshurts = www.nogunarmy.com, Fri 6 Jul 2007, 13:33, archived)

You plus eating lots of beans the night before.
Sit in there with your wife and fart away - soothing.
( BindiBaji, Fri 6 Jul 2007, 13:34, archived)

With a lit cigar too

( trev Is not interested in your fripperies, Fri 6 Jul 2007, 13:35, archived)

Glass of brandy

( BindiBaji, Fri 6 Jul 2007, 13:37, archived)

hmmm. green flames

( monstrinho do biscoito teeeshurts = www.nogunarmy.com, Fri 6 Jul 2007, 13:38, archived)

First one?
Good luck.
( Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Fri 6 Jul 2007, 13:33, archived)

ta:)
i have no idea what i'm getting into as i'm repeatibly told
( monstrinho do biscoito teeeshurts = www.nogunarmy.com, Fri 6 Jul 2007, 13:41, archived)

You haven't
but it'll be great, first time round you don't even notice what a miserable first couple of months you're having.
( Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Fri 6 Jul 2007, 13:44, archived)